Yes, it was true that panic was shooting up and down my spine and zinging out to my fingertips. I was shocked, maybe even terrified. But I quickly tamped down the screaming voice inside my head and collected my wits, along with the few available facts.
One: My parents had died in some unspeakable way.
Two: Someone had known about their deaths and called the police.
Three: Our doors were locked, and there had been no obvious break-in. Aside from me, my brothers Harry and Hugo and my mother’s personal assistant, Samantha, were the only ones home.
I went downstairs and got my phone. I called both my uncle Peter and our lawyer, Philippe Montaigne. Then I went to each of my siblings’ bedrooms, and to Samantha’s, too. And somehow, I told them each the inexpressibly horrible news that our mother and father were dead, and that it was possible they’d been murdered.
Contents
COVER
TITLE PAGE
WELCOME
PROLOGUE: LET’S GET HAPPY
CHAPTER 1: THE UN-UNITED NATIONS
CHAPTER 2: HOW TO SURVIVE HOMEROOM (AND THE REST OF THE DAY)
CHAPTER 3: DEPRIVED
CHAPTER 4: LOVE AND BIO
CHAPTER 5: MRS. MORRIS, THE DOG, AND ME
CHAPTER 6: MEET HOLDEN CAULFIELD
CHAPTER 7: CLUBBING
CHAPTER 8: NOTHING EVER CHANGES
CHAPTER 9: THE CRUCIFIXION OF TEBOW
CHAPTER 10: I DIDN’T SEE THIS COMING
CHAPTER 11: THIS IS EMBARRASSING
CHAPTER 12: GUESS WHO’S COMING TO DINNER. GUESS AGAIN.
CHAPTER 13: HOLLYWOOD COMES TO NORTH PLAINS
CHAPTER 14: THE OPPOSITE OF SPEED DATING
CHAPTER 15: WHAT NOT TO WEAR
CHAPTER 16: MULTITASKING
CHAPTER 17: MAJOR FREAK-OUT
CHAPTER 18: HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED
CHAPTER 19: IT’S NOT SO EASY WRITING IN A DIARY IN HOMEROOM
CHAPTER 20: THE FREAKSHOW’S OPERATION HAPPINESS: HOLIDAY EDITION
CHAPTER 21: TRUE CONFESSIONS
CHAPTER 22: INDEPENDENT
CHAPTER 23: CHRISTMAS MORNING
CHAPTER 24: LIFE GOES ON. AND ON.
CHAPTER 25: GET BACK TO WORK
CHAPTER 26: SHOCK TREATMENT
CHAPTER 27: OPEN A CRACK
CHAPTER 28: I STILL DON’T WAKE UP
CHAPTER 29: GOOD-BYE TO THE SWEETEST PERSON I KNOW
CHAPTER 30: KNOCK, KNOCK
CHAPTER 31: ENTER MARJORIE
CHAPTER 32: RETURN TO THE BLACK LAGOON
CHAPTER 33: MY BAD (AGAIN)
CHAPTER 34: HEY, CUCKOO CLARKE!
CHAPTER 35: MORE “PROGRESS”
CHAPTER 36: THE MIGHTY QUINN
CHAPTER 37: FIRE IN THE HOLE!
CHAPTER 38: SISTERS IN TEARS
CHAPTER 39: THAT’S OUR ZITSY
CHAPTER 40: TERROR, INC.
CHAPTER 41: DEAR OLD MOM
CHAPTER 42: SLEEPOVER
CHAPTER 43: DRESSED FOR STRESS
CHAPTER 44: SMOKIN’
CHAPTER 45: HOW LOW CAN WE GO?
CHAPTER 46: MY BRILLIANT IDEA
CHAPTER 47: WE GO LOWER
CHAPTER 49: FACEBOOKED
CHAPTER 50: SCARY STUFF
CHAPTER 51: EVEN SCARIER STUFF
CHAPTER 52: NIGHT FRIGHTS
CHAPTER 53: I GUESS I’M NOT SO FINE
CHAPTER 54: IMMOVABLE OBJECT
CHAPTER 55: AFTER MIDNIGHT
CHAPTER 56: BEST FRIENDS
CHAPTER 57: SICKOS
CHAPTER 58: SCHOOL DAZE
CHAPTER 59: MEN IN WHITE COATS
CHAPTER 60: ST. AUGGIE’S I AM
CHAPTER 61: BANNED!
CHAPTER 62: DIGGING OUT
CHAPTER 63: SCREAM OUT
CHAPTER 64: BEYOND OUR WILDEST DREAMS
CHAPTER 65: SCREAMING IS THE BEST MEDICINE
CHAPTER 66: MY NAME IS MARGARET, OR MAGGIE, IF YOU LIKE
CHAPTER 67: BLOOM’S TURN
CHAPTER 68: INNER CHILDREN
CHAPTER 69: GETTING GOOGLY
CHAPTER 70: ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?
CHAPTER 71: BEFORE THE PROM
CHAPTER 72: TALKING TO MRS. MORRIS
CHAPTER 73: WINNING
CHAPTER 74: TEBOW’S PREFERRED ENDING
CHAPTER 75: ZITSY’S ENDING
CHAPTER 76: BRAINZILLA, EGGY, AND FLATSO’S ENDING
CHAPTER 77: BYE
A NOTE TO OUR READERS
BOOKS BY JAMES PATTERSON FOR YOUNG ADULT READERS
A SNEAK PEEK OF CONFESSIONS OF A MURDER SUSPECT
COPYRIGHT
Copyright
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Copyright © 2014 by James Patterson
Illustrations by Keino
Excerpt from Confessions of a Murder Suspect copyright © 2012 by James Patterson
Cover art by Keino
Cover design by Liz Casal
Cover © 2014 Hachette Book Group, Inc.
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher is unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at permissions@hbgusa.com. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.
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First ebook edition: July 2014
ISBN 978-0-316-20763-8
E3