The path to a full and satisfying life begins by identifying what is and isn't important to you. What is important is in your Circle. Whatever is outside your Circle is not. Your life won't be any bigger or any richer than the size and content of your Circle. If you want more impact in your life, or more of a sense of satisfaction, or more peace and happiness, all you need to do is expand your Circle. When you do, your world will change. You will think different thoughts, care about different things, and see the world around you in a bigger and more profound way.
But simply expanding what matters to you is not enough. You must also master the basic building blocks of greatness: independence, power, humility, and purpose. You must value your uniqueness highly enough that you are unwilling to conceal it or try to modify it in order to get along with the people in your life. Only then will you have the freedom to see, embrace, and cultivate your unique gift. Freeing yourself from your ego will allow you to truly experience how intimately you belong to every other human being on the face of the earth. It is the compassion born from humility that provides the motivation to see how your gift was meant to be best utilized for the good of others—your purpose.
The journey toward thriving never ends. Every step along the path is rich with wonder, power, and joy. And this path toward greatness is for everyone, regardless of your education, race, or level of outward success.
We have enjoyed sharing the wisdom we have gained from our journey with you and we encourage you to share yours with us. There are many who accept being ordinary as good enough. You are willing to step out of the crowd to take the sometimes‐lonely road toward being extraordinary. We invite you to share your stories and experiences with us as we become a community of those who are seeking the greatness in ourselves and adding to the goodness in the world around us.
References
Agrawal, AJ. 2015. “4 Stories About Work Ethic That Will Make You Work Harder,” Inc., March 21. https://www.inc.com/aj‐agrawal/4‐stories‐about‐work‐ethic‐that‐will‐make‐you‐work‐harderer.html.
Covey, Stephen R. 1989. 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. New York: Simon & Schuster.
Frankl, Victor. 1959. Man's Search for Meaning. Boston: Beacon Press.
Gerber, Hestie Barnard. 2013. “10 Modern‐Day Heroes Actively Changing the World.” ListVerse, May 31. http://listverse.com/2013/05/31/10‐modern‐day‐heroes‐actively‐changing‐the‐world/.
Hartman, Steve. 2014. “Why a Star Football Player Traded NFL Career for a Tractor.” www.cbsnews.com/news/former‐nfl‐player‐farms‐for‐good/.
Jobs, Steve. 2005. “‘You’ve Got to Find What You Love,' Jobs Says.” Commencement address, Stanford University, June 15. http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs‐061505.html.
Sutton, Robert. 2007. The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't. New York: Warner Business Books.
Taylor, Jane. “The Violet.” www.poetrysoup.com/famous/poem/3293/The_Violet.
Wikipedia. “Narcissus (mythology).” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissus_(mythology).
Williamson, Marianne. 1996. A Return to Love. New York: HarperCollins.
Index
A
Acceptance: about
action steps
power, decreasing
power, increasing
reference page
Accountability
Accounting approach to personal relationships
Achievement-striving: about
power, decreasing
power, increasing
reference page
Action plan: about
accountability
example
importance of
Action steps: acceptance
autonomy
being resolute
crisis-prone behaviors
diligence
experience sharing
humility
independence
modesty behaviors
myopic behavior
narcissistic behaviors
personal commitments
pleasing behaviors
power
pretentiousness
purpose
reliance
self-deception
self-determination
self-discipline
self-efficacy
self-esteem
self-monitoring
spirituality
tolerance
zest
Activities in your Circle
Adolescents: Circle
developmental tasks
Adults: arrested inner development
Circle
developmental tasks
“playing small”
Advisers
African Americans
Agrawal, AJ
Alcohol
Alcoholics Anonymous
Aristotle
Arrested inner development
Artist
Ash Wednesday
Assessing your Circle: about
assessment process
example (power, and purpose, with low independence and humility)
example (independence and power with low humility and purpose)
example (independence and purpose with low humility and power)
example (power and purpose with low independence and humility)
Assessing independence
Attraction, law of
Autonomy: about
action steps
independence, decreasing
independence, increasing
reference page
B
Babies: Circle
developmental tasks
Balancing your Circle. See also Enlarging and balancing your Circle about
assessing
exercise
great people
importance of
need for
understanding
Belief: Jesus of Nazareth
PhD story
Better, change for the
“Better than average effect”
Branson, Richard
Brothers, tale of two
Brown, Jason
Bryant, Kobe
Busyness
C
Caffeine
Caring for others: about
accounting approach to
selfless approach to
Caring for self
Change: availability of
for the better
first steps toward
resistance to
Change Formula
Character, importance of
Children: Circle
developmental tasks
in hot tub
parental responsibility for
playing big
Circle. See also specific topics about
activities in
brakes and gas pedals
defined
distress in expanding
first steps in expanding
greatness
human development and
importance of something
motivators in
ownership of
values in
vision in expanding
Circle, assessing: about
assessment process
example (power, humility, and purpose-driven, with low independence)
example (independence and power-driven with low humility and purpose)
example (power and purpose-driven with low independence and humility)
example (high independence and purpose, combined with low humility and power)
Circle, balancing: about
assessing
exercise
greatness
importance of
need for
understanding
Circle, enlarging and balancing: brothers, tale of two
caring for others
caring for self
character, importance of
&nb
sp; greatness
parenting
pleasure
thriving
work
Civil rights for African Americans
Collier, Robert
Commitments, personal: about
action steps
independence, decreasing
independence, increasing
reference page
Company success, ownership of
Comparing yourself to others
Covey, Stephen R.
Crisis
Crisis-prone behaviors: about
action steps
independence, decreasing
independence, increasing
reference page
D
Death
Debt, paying off
Dethmer, Jim
Developmental tasks: about
adolescents
adults
babies
children
Circle and
humility
independence
infants
life stages
narcissism
power
purpose
teenagers
Diligence: about
action steps
purpose, decreasing
purpose, increasing
reference page
Distress
Drama: about
action steps
independence, decreasing
independence, increasing
reference page
Drug dependency
E
Echo (mythological figure)
Eeyore (fictional character)
Ego: about
greatness of
Endurance
Enlarging and balancing your Circle. See also Balancing your Circle brothers, tale of two
caring for others
caring for self
character, importance of
greatness
parenting
pleasure
thriving
work
Enron
Ethiopia
Evil
Exercises: balancing your Circle
vision
Experience sharing: about
action steps
purpose, decreasing
purpose, increasing
reference page
F
Failure to thrive
Feeding hungry people
First steps
Foolishness
Forgiveness
Frankl, Viktor
Frost, Robert
G
Gandhi, Mahatma
Giftedness. See Power
Gleicher, David
Goodness
Gravity
Greatness: about
character, importance of
Circle
Circle, balancing
Circle, enlarging and balancing
happiness in
meaning/purpose and
seeing within yourself
types of
unpretentiousness in
wealth and
H
Happiness
Heart attack patient
Hot tub story
Hubris: about
self-perception and
Human development about
adolescents
adults
arrested
babies
children
Circle and
humility
independence
infants
life stages
narcissism
power
purpose
teenagers
Humility: action steps
decreasing
defined
as developmental task
factors making up
hubris versus
importance of
increasing
independence without
lack of, 29 making up
modesty and
narcissism and
poem about
power without
purpose without
questions about
reference page
self-esteem and
self-monitoring and
self-perception models
tolerance and
without independence
without power
without purpose
Hungry people, feeding
I
“Illusory superiority”
Impact on others
Importance of something
Independence: about
action steps
assessing
autonomy and
benefits of
crisis-prone behaviors and
decreasing
defined
as developmental task
factors influencing
humility without
importance of
increasing
journey to
lack of
personal commitments and
pleasing behaviors and
power without
pretentiousness and
purpose without
reference page
reliance and
without humility
without power
without purpose
India, liberating from British rule
Infants: Circle
developmental tasks
J
Jesus of Nazareth: belief
forgiveness
humility
unpretentiousness
Jobs, Steve
Jordan, Michael
Judging others
K
Kennedy, John F.
King, Martin Luther, Jr.
L
Latent tendencies
Law of attraction
Lay, Kenneth
Leadership
Life stages
Listening to others
Low self-esteem
M
Manifest qualities
Marriage, pleasing spouse in
Maturity
Meaning. See also Purpose
Meetings, leaving
Metrics, performance
Modesty: about
humility, decreasing
humility, increasing
Modesty behaviors reference page
Motivators
Munoz, Jorge
Myopia: about
Myopic behavior purpose, decreasing
purpose, increasing
reference page
N
Narcissism: about
developmental tasks
humility, decreasing
humility, increasing
Narcissistic behaviors reference page
Narcissus (mythological figure)
Nemesis (mythological figure)
Newton, Isaac
“The No Asshole Rule” (Sutton)
O
Obedience
Olympics
Others: caring for
comparing yourself to
impact on
judging
listening to
separateness from
Ownership: of Circle
of job
of success of company
P
Parents: enlarging and balancing your Circle
responsibility for children
Paycheck, work as means to
Performance metrics
Personal commitments: about
action steps
independence, decreasing
independence, increasing
reference page
Personality attributes, latent
Personal relationships: about
accounting approach to
selfless approach to
PhD story
Placebos
“Playing small”
Pleasin
g behaviors: about
action steps
independence, decreasing
independence, increasing
reference page
Pleasure
Poems: humility
purpose
Power: about
acceptance and
achievement-striving and
action steps
decreasing
defined
as developmental task
factors comprising
humility without
importance of
increasing
independence without
purpose without
reference page
self-determination and
self-discipline and
self-efficacy and
without humility
without independence
without purpose
zest and
Pretentiousness: about
action steps
independence, decreasing
independence, increasing
reference page
Pride
Purpose: about
action steps
decreasing
as developmental task