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    Orpheus Emerged

    Page 4
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      Ghastly!”

      “Marie, you’re cruel—but sensitive.”

      “Thank you.”

      “Marie, you must realize that Anthony is

      not a well man. He’s a lot like I am now, you

      see, but of course, of course, he doesn’t

      have what I have. He’s searching, you see…

      I’ve my Helen, and—”

      “Stop babbling,” interrupted the girl.

      “Do you realize,”

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 60

      “Do you realize,” Paul went on uncon-

      cernedly, throwing himself on the divan next

      to Marie, “that love is painful, that it makes a

      man like Anthony suffer? Oh, I know, I

      know—it’s all the pain of happiness. But he is

      the weeping kind. And do you realize, my

      dear, that if he is weak, he can do nothing

      about it? So he hit you this morning! … and for

      that little slap in the face, he’s endured upon

      himself an eight-hour session of imponder-

      able sorrow, unspeakable angoisse.”

      “You crazy child!”

      “Does your face hurt? Does your face

      hurt?”

      “Shut up.”

      “His heart is broken, Marie you diaboli-

      cal witch!..”

      “You came here to call me names?”

      “Yes, because I love you.”

      Marie got up from the couch and threw

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 61

      her cigarette out the open window. Then

      she stopped in front of the radio and

      laughed.

      “Ha ha,” mocked Paul, getting up also. “It’s

      just that I love you enough to want you to love

      Anthony, and I know Anthony well…”

      “My God!” cried Marie. “You’re mad,

      aren’t you?”

      “No, no.”

      They were silent, and Paul began to pace

      the rooms.

      “Now,” he said at length. “I come to see

      you as Anthony’s envoy, to tell you that he is

      weak, and that he’s sorry, and that nothing

      matters but that you love him as he loves

      you. Can you do that? Can you do that?”

      “Can I do that?” Marie echoed contemp-

      tuously. “Have you eaten lately?”

      “Yes.”

      “I’ll heat you some soup. You’re in a

      delirium.”

      Marie went off into the kitchen, with Paul

      right at her heels, talking furiously. “Marie, will

      you forgive him? Oh, this waste of time!! People

      waste all their time. They’re alive for just so

      long, and they waste their time on recrimina-

      tions and retributions and all such nonsense.

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 62

      Wait, you’ll

      find out all

      about me some

      day, and

      you’ll realize

      what I’m say-

      ing. You

      might meet my

      Helen...

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 63

      Give me some soup, yes, and some bread. I

      am rather hungry…”

      Marie was calmly giving him a piece of

      bread, and removing a soup bowl from the

      cupboard. The soup was heating on the

      stove.

      “A lovely kitchen,” Paul was saying. “Tell

      me, Marie. What shall I do? Shall I get

      Anthony, sober him up, and bring him

      here?”

      “No. He’s got to come of his own accord.”

      “Then my words have done some good?!..

      haven’t they?”

      “No, not your words. I love my husband.

      We’d have made up eventually. I dare say

      we don’t need your help, either.”

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 64

      “Ha ha!” cried Paul. “I’m a time saver…”

      “Balderdash!”

      Paul sat at the little table and took the

      spoon Marie had offered him. “You see,” he

      cried, “I’ve done some good. I’ve saved

      time. Accept Anthony, accept him…he’s a

      good man, a wonderful soul. He’s weeping

      in the Boulevard Bar now, because he

      struck you…”

      “You nor anyone else can’t patch up our

      troubles,” Marie said, placing the steaming

      bowl of soup before the hungry Paul.

      “Anthony strikes me…it’s his problem. No

      one else can help. That’s why he weeps,

      you little fool, because he realizes that he

      alone is guilty.”

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 65

      “It’s you”

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 66

      “And you?”

      “I, of course, have my share of guilt. And

      it’s none of your business, little Jesus Christ.

      I’m restless and intolerant, and I never

      seem to have made up my mind one way or

      another about Anthony. Well…”

      Paul slurped up several spoonfuls of

      soup and then jumped up. “Now I’ve got to

      go. I’m pressed for time, goodbye, and look

      I’ll take this bread with me. Thank you…”

      And suddenly, Paul had walked out of the

      kitchen and was gone.

      Marie picked up the bowl from the table

      and emptied the soup in the sink. She went to

      the door and closed it, for Paul had forgotten to

      close it in his haste. Then she went back to her

      divan and sat down with a freshly-lit cigarette.

      She was smiling secretly.

      The buzzer rang again and she thought it

      was Paul rushing back to say something

      further. But a few moments later, Michael

      knocked at the door and walked in.

      “It’s you,” Marie said.

      “You coming to the party tonight?”

      Michael asked outright.

      “Sit down,” Marie said. “Yes, I suppose

      so. You must remember that it’s Maureen’s

      party.”

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 67

      “I don’t care. I want to see you.”

      “You and your inconvenient remarks,”

      Marie said.

      “Well? And who cares?” Michael had sat

      down in a chair in the other room and was

      watching Marie gloomily. There was a

      silence during which nothing further need-

      ed to be said.

      “I’ve fixed up a little apartment in the

      Quarter,” Michael finally said. “I expect you

      soon.” His tone was firm, but gloomy.

      Marie did not reply. She was watching

      him with something of weariness in her

      demeanor. Finally, she said: “What do you

      expect of me?”

      “I only expect you to be sensible.”

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 68

      “What? You

      want me to

      leave my

      husband for

      a while! You

      call that

      sensible?”

      “Of course.

      For both of

      us. I desire

      you, that’s

      all there is.”

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 69

      “And suppose I didn’t desire you, as you

      so romantically put it?"

      “Why can�
    ��t you?”

      “I don’t think you’re capable of a decent

      affair, that’s why I can’t. You neurotics are

      all the same as lovers. Foo! Go home!”

      Michael began to smile sardonically.

      “How can you be so sure?” he asked. “I

      know, I know also by the expression on your

      face that the idea appeals to you. You know

      that I have money and that we can have the

      best for as long as we want it to last. You

      also need a change, I can sense that in your

      voice.”

      “Nonsense.”

      Michael got up, and, without a word,

      walked out of the apartment. He left Marie

      in a very pensive mood.

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 70

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 71

      III

      IN THAT LAND,

      the biggest holiday of the year occurs on

      the 27th of April, which is usually the first

      fine day of spring, and if not—the weather

      being unfavorable—it is at least a day

      breathing with the first sharply defined

      odor of spring, and rife with its gentleness.

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 73

      Now, Maureen had planned a party for

      the eve of the Spring Day, and all that day—

      even during Paul’s unwelcome visit—she’d

      been very busy preparing the apartment for

      the festivities. Michael had given her some

      money with which to buy things to prettify

      the rooms, and also for hors d’oeuvres and

      such things as are served at parties.

      Maureen had taken great care in setting

      out flowers throughout the house, for she

      loved flowers, and candles, and brightly col-

      ored bowls full of nuts and candies.

      It was seven o’clock before she allowed

      herself time to sit down and rest. By that

      time, Michael was back from his afternoon

      stroll, and was deeply absorbed in his writ-

      ing. The invitations had been send out, and

      their friends would start coming sometime

      around nine o’clock.

      “And dinner?” Michael demanded, look-

      ing up from his desk. Maureen gave him a

      beseeching look. “It’s out we go for dinner,

      then,” Michael concluded. He was in good

      spirits now, and had just written some lines

      that met with his judged approval; and just

      the night before, he had completed a philo-

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 74

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 75

      sophical essay of which he was inordinately

      proud. “Come,” he said now, “let’s go down

      to a good restaurant—how about the

      Lobster Shack?—and have something deli-

      cious to eat. Lobster, steamed clams, any-

      thing you like.”

      They went to dinner and, as they were

      crossing the campus, Leo accosted them.

      “Well, well—hello. And the big party

      tonight, I’ve got my invitation with me right

      here. I’ve just wound up my studies, and I

      was on my way over to your place now.

      Thought it wouldn’t be out of place to come

      a little early.”

      “It would,” Michael replied gruffly.

      “Maureen and I are going to eat. She’s been

      preparing the apartment all day.”

      “Well, can I accompany you to the

      restaurant? I’ve nothing else to do.

      Although I’ve already eaten…”

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 76

      Michael smiled shyly. “All right, Leo.”

      Each time he was gruff to Leo, and each

      time that the other yielded so stickily, he

      became ashamed of himself. He was not a

      sadist, not Michael except where it gave

      him pleasure, and for that his attacks need-

      ed a contained resistance of a sort, such as

      Maureen offered him.

      They had dinner while Leo drank coffee

      and babbled endlessly about his studies and

      about Paul. Maureen was in a pleasant

      mood, and she was enjoying her lobster

      thermidor and paying no attention to Leo.

      “Now,” she said at length, “we’ll go back,

      and I’ll get things done for good. Oh

      Michael darling,” she said, while Leo was

      off to buy cigarettes at the counter of the

      restaurant, “say that you love me.”

      “Just for today? Spring Day eve?”

      “No, for always.” Maureen squeezed

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 77

      Michael’s hand beneath the table. She was

      ten years older than Michael, and each time

      that she squeezed his hand in a public

      place, it reminded Michael unpleasantly of

      his mother, and of the way that she too used

      to show affection in public places. “Are you

      happy?” she asked.

      “Certainly. You’re a fine woman,

      Maureen; and I love you very much.”

      “Say that you’ll never go away from me.”

      “I’ll never go away from you,” Michael

      said. Sometimes, when they were in bed,

      she would make Michael repeat those

      words over and over again while she held

      his head in her bosom and rocked it back

      and forth. Michael, by nature very non-

      committal, could always cope with these sit-

      uations by the sheer weight of his general

      indifference towards life.

      “I wish,” went on Maureen wistfully,

      “that we could fall in love like those two,

      Anthony and that Marie.”

      “Do you think so?” Michael asked, frown-

      ing. “Look at poor Anthony…”

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 78

      “I wish”

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 79

      “I know, but it’s that witch of his, Marie—

      even though I can’t see what she sees in him,

      he’s such a drunkard and a pest sometimes.”

      Leo was back. “Come on,” he said, “let’s

      go out while it’s still light, and take a little

      walk.”

      They went out and strolled around the

      campus. Michael had bought a cigar and

      was puffing it contentedly. He was already

      on fire with a new poem—he would go right

      straight to bed, now, and prop up on some

      pillows and write it.

      It was just sundown when they had

      returned to X Street. A bird was sitting on the

      top branch of a small poplar in front of their

      apartment house entrance. Michael stopped

      and looked up at the bird.

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 80

      Leo laughed. “Hail to thee, blithe spirit…”

      “No,” cried Michael, “quiet, Leo. Listen to

      him? Do you remember what I was telling

      you about the impulse of God? The sparrow

      there is expressing it. He knows. Listen!”

      “My God,” said Maureen. “Are we going

      to stand here for hours listening to the

      impulse of God?”

      “Of course not,” said Michael, with some

      annoyance. “I’m sleepy. I’m going to take a


      nap before the party begins. Listen to the

      sparrow. Its imagination is filled with God…”

      They all three were silent as the bird

      trilled. Michael smiled secretly. He looked

      up at the street and saw, over the library roof,

      the last faint hues of the sunset. “The bird,”

      he went on, “is singing the song of dusk, on

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 81

      Spring Day eve. Could there be more per-

      fect happiness? Not just to be expressing,

      but to be your expression. Isn’t that love?

      Isn’t that life?” he now asked harshly of

      Leo. “Isn’t that more than human love,

      than human life, more, much more?”

      “Foo!” said Maureen. “Let’s go up.”

      “What do you mean?” Leo asked, showing

      eager interest, and lighting up a cigarette.

      Michael began, “I mean—” But Maureen

      had clutched at his arm.

      “Look,” she whispered. “There’s that Paul.”

      Michael and Leo turned nervously in the

      direction she had indicated with her head.

      Paul was standing in the shadows of a door-

      way just a few feet away watching them.

      There was a brief silence, during which the

      bird too had interrupted its song.

      “Well?” Maureen said warily.

      “What are you doing there?” laughed

      Leo. “You’re a ghost; you hover in door-

      ways. Come here. Are you coming to the

      party tonight?”

      Paul did not answer, nor did he move

      away from the doorway.

      “Are you?”

      “I wasn’t invited,” he said quietly and

      casually.

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 82

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 83

      Michael turned to Maureen, but kept his

      tongue. Leo fell into an embarrassed silence.

      “Of course,” Paul went on quietly from

      his doorway, “of course, my not being invit-

      ed has nothing to do with anything. You all

      know me well, and my ways. I may walk

      into the middle of the party, and no one will

      object. It’s only Paul, they’ll say, and he does

      things like that…”

      “That’s right,” Michael interrupted in a

      surly tone. “So why do you have to bemoan

      that part of it.”

      Paul smiled and began to walk away up X

     


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