away to take a phone call. Jaden was quiet at first as she watched each match, but as
Holly became more vocal, so did Jaden. Her commentary was interesting, only
because Holly asked so many damn questions—what she thought of each fighter,
their fighting style, their record, and their strengths and weaknesses. Jaden could
see it all, and I couldn’t help but find myself appreciative of her insightfulness. It
made her that much more desirable.
14
REMEMBER
“That’s it, Jaden. Just five more. Come on, push it.”
Sweat dripped down my face as I pushed for the last set of thirty inverted
sit-ups. Holly and I had been working on my physical therapy in Darren’s gym for
the last hour, and I made damn sure she challenged me at every angle.
After I was finished with the set, I grabbed the metal bar I was hanging upside
down from and flipped myself over, landing perfectly on the floor. It had been
another two weeks, and I was feeling stronger than ever. My muscle mass had
grown, my four-pack finally visible again, and I was feeling better than ever. I’d
even somehow managed to stay on Darren’s good side due to my lack of attitude.
Since I was getting better, exercising, and breaking past my limits, I was happier. I
still wasn’t back to my old 100 percent, though. A few things were missing.
When Holly and I were finished, I couldn’t help but stare longingly at the heavy
bags on the other side of the room. I could almost hear them begging me to lay into
them … and I wanted to really badly. Tentatively, I walked over to the bag and
threw a reverse sidekick, landing it perfectly and sending the bag back a good few
feet.
“Holy shit!” Holly cried out in excitement. “How did you do that? That was so
cool!”
I grimaced. “It was slow.”
“Are you kidding me? If I’d have blinked, I would have missed it!”
“You would have missed it even if you hadn’t,” I replied. That’s how fast I was
supposed to be. Fuck, I had so much work to do.
“I knew it! You are some kind of fighter, aren’t you?”
I scoffed. “Was,” I said blankly, walking away from the bag.
“What do you mean ‘was’?”
“I don’t exactly practice anymore.”
“Well, what’s stopping you?” she asked me.
I fucking straight up laughed. About a million things were stopping me, but I
couldn’t tell Holly that. So, I lied somewhat.
“Injuries, plus I don’t have any of my gear,” I replied with a shrug.
“Well, maybe we can get Mr. Davis to get you your gear.”
I chuckled again. “Good luck with that.”
“Why? You don’t think he would?”
“I’d be very surprised if he did.”
Holly suddenly squared her shoulders, wearing a big smile on her face. “I’ll talk
to him. I’ll convince him it’s part of your therapy.”
“Don’t lie to him, Holly. It’s not a good idea,” I warned.
“It’s not a lie,” she said reassuringly. “I really do want to incorporate it into your
therapy. I think it’ll be really good for you.”
“If you say so.”
“I do.” She smiled. “Now, let’s go for a swim.”
I doubted Holly would be able to crack Darren. I doubted he wanted me in
fighting condition ever again. He might want me strong and durable, but that
didn’t mean I could throw kicks at his head anymore. I wouldn’t be fighting him
anytime soon—at least not hand-to-hand combat. I’d have to find some kind of
advantage over him, but first, I needed to get him to let his guard down around me.
In order to do that, I had to stop fighting him.
But sure to Holly’s word and much to my shock and confusion, there was a pair
of hot pink boxing gloves with gold tiara prints on them, pink wraps, and my old
iPod sitting on the leather couch in the gym. I rolled my eyes at the color and
pattern of the gloves, but I could deal with it. At least, I finally had a pair!
Holly was beyond excited for some reason. She said she couldn’t wait to see me
in action and see what I could do. As I wrapped my hands and wrists, Holly hooked
up her phone to the stereo system and started playing “Eye of the Tiger” by
Survivor. She turned around and practically beamed like it was the best idea she’d
ever had. I rolled my eyes. What the fuck did she think this was, a Rocky movie? As
soon as I was done with the wraps, I marched over and shut the song off midway
through the opening guitar solo.
“I fucking hate this song.” It was overplayed and overrated.
I switched Holly’s phone out for my iPod and put on the song I was dying to hear
—“Break Stuff” by Limp Bizkit. As soon as the sound made its way to my ears, I
was ready for breakage. I cracked my neck and rolled my shoulders as I strapped on
my gloves and made my way over to the bags. I got light on my feet, keeping my
knees bent and my weight steady. I breathed easy, my gloved hands at face level,
and focused my sights on my target. And with one deep breath, I moved for
destruction.
Hooks, jabs, crosses, uppercuts, elbows, kicks, knees—you name it, I did it. I
tore into the bag like there was no tomorrow. Sweat dripped from my brow in a
matter of minutes while my heart force-fed adrenaline through my veins. The bag
flew in a manner of all different directions, each attack stronger than the last until I
could no longer catch my breath. I tore myself away and gradually paced in front of
the bag like some kind of animal stalking its prey. My conditioning was for shit, but
I would fix that in a matter of days.
When I was finally calm enough, I went back for more. I must have hit the bag
for thirty minutes straight before I finally collapsed on the floor in a sweaty,
exhausted mess. Nearly all of my attacks were twenty-five percent less capacity of
what I was capable of. My kicks were slower and lacked my usual finesse, and my
punches didn’t have anywhere near the same power I knew I could bring. I had so
much work to do, but apparently, I had all the time in the world since I technically
controlled when we were leaving the island.
For the rest of the month, Holly and I worked habitually on the bags, lifting
weights, stretching, and making me as strong as humanly possible. Darren was
certainly enjoying the results because I wasn’t just letting him fuck me anymore—I
was fucking him back. When I could forget the fact that his men were currently
hunting down the love of my life, my mom, and my brothers, and when he wasn't a
total controlling douchebag, he was almost tolerable.
He didn’t push me on my emotional detachment or my ever-growing
desensitization to the prospect of death. Though I wouldn’t consider myself the
chattiest with him, I tried to keep things light and civil, and it seemed he was on
the same page as I was. Darren actually tried to spend as much time with me as he
could, almost as if he was trying to get our “relationship” back on track. He was
attentive, affectionate, and surprisingly sweet, though he would never let me
escape the reminders that he was in control. I knew what I was giving up the
moment I pushed that makeshift Molotov cocktail off the ledge of that window, and
I was slowly coming to terms with those consequences. Even though Darren
controlled every aspect of my life, at least I could finally control my bodily
movements.
I could feel my depression leaving me now that my body was back in shape. I had
stretched myself back to the limber noodle I was, finally completing a no handed
cartwheel, my scorpion kick, and my butterfly kicks. I was nearly ready to leave the
island; I was so confident. But for some reason, Darren seemed to want to test me
further.
One day after warming up on the bag, Scott randomly walked into the gym
wearing black sweatpants, running shoes, and a black t-shirt. I hadn’t seen him
since he’d first left with Darren before I had escaped. I’d completely forgotten all
about him, and I had no idea why he was suddenly in the gym and walking toward
me with an angry look on his face. He strolled right past me for the shelves of
fighting equipment and grabbed two focus mitts.
“Come on,” he said, passing me. “You’re working with me.”
“Wait, what?” I asked. Holly looked just as confused as I did.
“Darren wants me to train you to make sure you’re ready. Got a problem with
that?”
I raised an eyebrow at him. “He didn’t say anything to me about this.”
“That’s because he just decided it five minutes ago.”
Motherfucker was watching me again—was probably watching right now.
“Okay,” I said, eyeing him. “Whatcha got?”
Holly stood there confused, as if Scott was speaking a second language, but I
knew exactly what he’d just said. “All right.”
I landed the first five strikes but wasn’t fast enough for the duck before I threw
the last uppercut. My lips formed into a tight line as I stared Scott down. He
smirked back.
Okay, motherfucker. Game on.
Over and over, I repeated the same set but could not manage to duck his strike
before the uppercut. It was frustrating as hell. I knew I was fast, but fuck, he was
faster. Just as fast as Darren. Eventually, we changed up the set, switching the
strikes for elbows or kicks, and I found myself fighting just to remain standing; I
was that exhausted. When we were finally done, it took everything I had not to
collapse on the floor in front of him.
“We’ll pick this up again tomorrow,” he said and walked out of the gym.
“Can’t wait!” I shouted after him and proceeded to chug the rest of my water
bottle.
“Holy shit, Jaden! You did so well! I’m super impressed!” Holly beamed.
“Thanks. I think I’d like to go to sleep for the rest of my life now.”
She giggled. “You can’t do that. Not with Thanksgiving right around the
corner!”
I stopped mid swig of my water and eyed her like she was a ghost or something.
“I’m sorry. Did you say Thanksgiving?”
“Yeah, it’s tomorrow, silly. Did you forget?”
I felt my heart fall into my stomach. “I, uh, I guess I did.” My brothers’
birthdays had already passed, and I hadn’t even noticed it. They were only two
years apart from each other. With October now gone and past, Aaron was officially
seventeen and Brennan was fifteen. I suddenly felt my heart breaking all over again
because, in Darren’s eye, I would never see them again. I would never again see my
own fucking family.
“Hey, are you okay, Jaden?”
I sniffed back the sorrow that threatened to take me over. I couldn’t believe it
was already the end of November.
“What are you still doing here then? Shouldn’t you be going home to see your
family?”
She shrugged, a sad smile curving across her face. “I don’t really have anyone to
visit. My parents died in a car accident, too. A long time ago.”
“Oh,” I said, looking down at the floor, suddenly embarrassed. “I’m sorry to
hear that.”
“It’s okay. It happened when I was five. I barely remember them.”
I nodded. Maybe that made it better somehow. She didn’t really know who she
was missing.
“Still, you must have someone you should be visiting on holidays,” I said. “You
shouldn’t have to stay here with me.”
Holly shrugged. “My parents didn’t have brothers or sisters, and I’m an only
child. Grandparents are gone, too.”
“Jesus, Holly,” I said shocked. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. It’s why I stay busy. I’m only twenty-two, and I’m already a certified
personal trainer and physical therapist, who’s well on her way to becoming a doctor
debt free,” she said with a wink.
I shook my head, unable to hide the smirk forming on my lips. “I love your
optimism, Holly.”
“Thanks,” she said with a smile. “You should try it sometime.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, yeah.”
Holly considered me for a moment, something lingering on her mind, and I
could tell she was afraid to speak it.
“What?” I asked.
“You know, Jaden. I know we’re not supposed to discuss it, but sometimes
talking about traumatic experiences can—”
“Don’t,” I said sharply and turned away from her to remove my gloves and
wraps. This was not a topic to dwell on, especially when that topic was a lie.
“Jaden,” she started softly, “I know this is tough for you, but—”
I got up real close to her face, enough so that my mouth was right at her ear. “If
consequences for broken rules. Please don’t break them.”
Holly stood very still for a moment before she finally released a quick breath and
nodded. I didn’t like it, but she needed the warning. Better it come from me than
Darren.
“Come on, let’s go swimming. I think I need to float in the pool for a while,” I
said.
Holly nodded, a fake smile appearing on her lips as she followed me out of the
gym.
For the rest of the day, all I could think about was time. I had already been on the
island for two months and hadn’t even realized it. Darren had officially stolen five
months of my life—five months I would never get back. But it was only still the
beginning of my captivity. I would have to expect to unwillingly give a few years of
my life to my plan of destruction. I had so much more to accomplish first. I couldn’t
just kill Darren. Not without signaling my own death wish. I had to bring his
resources down first. And I had no fucking clue how I was going to do that.
Suddenly, I felt depressed again.
Tomorrow, I should sit at a table with my family, about to eat my body weight in
turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes. Instead, I didn’t even know what I would be
doing for dinner tomorrow. If I’d be eating alone in my suite or at the dinner table
with Darren. Again with the reminder that my life was not mine to control. It was
Darren’s, and as I floated along in my inflatable chair in Darren’s pool, staring up at
the sunny sky, I felt all the hope drain out of me again. Reality was always there to
slap the shit out of me, or maybe it was just Darren when
I finally pushed him over
the edge. My monster among them all.
When dinner finally came, I felt like I was on autopilot, too concerned with the
passing seconds that would never stop. The same seconds that pulled me further
and further away from my family. I could feel Darren’s eyes on me, watching me
with that concerned, angry look on his face. He’d asked me how my first day of
training with Scott went. I’d barely answered, shrugging it off with a fine and that I
would master his duck tomorrow. Normally, I would have asked him why he
suddenly decided to have him train me, but again, autopilot.
“You’re awfully quiet this evening,” Darren pointed out.
I shrugged again, looking down at my barely touched plate. “Not much to say
today.”
“Bullshit,” he countered. “Something’s on your mind. What is it?”
I exhaled a deep breath. “For once, Darren, I don’t want to fight, so can we just
leave it alone?”
“And allow you to sit there and sulk? I don’t think so. Out with it,” he ordered.
I huffed and crossed my arms across my chest. “Fine. Is it really Thanksgiving
tomorrow?”
Darren raised his eyebrows in surprise as if it were the stupidest thing to be
concerned about.
“That’s what has you so upset? A stupid holiday?”
It was a miracle I didn’t roll my eyes. “Hey, you asked, remember?”
“Yes, I did. Now, why are you asking? And who told you that it was?”
I gulped, not wanting to give Holly away. “There is a calendar on my iPod, you
know. And I’m asking because I was wondering if there was anything planned for
tomorrow or if you’d be gone all day again.”
Darren clenched his jaw at my question. I wondered if he even remembered that
tomorrow was Thanksgiving. Did he even celebrate holidays?
“No, Jaden. Nothing was planned. I have to leave the island tonight for a couple
of days. Holidays are not given much thought in my world.”
“Okay,” I said quietly with a nod, trying to hide my sniffling. Why was I so upset
over this? There was no one to celebrate with anyway.
“But if it’s so important to you, maybe I can have the staff set up something.”
I shook my head. “It’s not. Holidays are for families, and I don’t have that
anymore, so just … forget it.”
I winced as Darren abruptly stood from the table and hauled me up from my