Bax’s eyebrows drew together in confusion.
“He…” I pushed a piece of stray black hair behind my ear. “He just…he was looking forward to me being home for the summer, and now, I’m not.” Thank goodness I’m not.
“Okay.” We started to walk again. “Is he your boyfriend?”
“No.”
“Then, who is he?” Bax swiveled his head toward me.
“What’s with the twenty questions?” I retorted.
Bax lifted his hands in surrender. “Sorry, just making conversation. We’re going to be spending three months together. I figured I should get to know you a little.”
“Well, we’ll have three months on the road for that.” I stopped at a fork in the sidewalk. “I have to go. I have a lot to do before we leave.” That was a lie. I was packed and ready to go now, this second.
I gave Bax a stiff wave as I walked away. My mind was reeling from Joel’s unexpected visit, and I needed to be alone. I knew I was being rude, but I felt drained.
“Can’t wait,” I thought I heard him grumble sarcastically.
As I strode down the sidewalk, my mind spun in a million directions. I fingered my chest to bring myself comfort, but when I found a bare spot where my necklace had once hung, a sob crept up my throat.
Joel took my ring.
I threw my suitcase, tote bag, and camera case into the hatchback and stepped aside while Milo and Carly did the same. When everything was loaded, Bax slammed the door closed.
“Who gets shotgun?” Milo asked.
Bax raised his eyebrows at us and held his hands up in neutrality. “You guys fight it out.” Then, he jumped in the driver seat.
Coward.
The three of us eyed each other.
When I was about to say I would take the back, Milo said, “Rock, Paper, Scissors?”
“Yeah.” Carly smiled flirtatiously at Milo, and he answered back with a huge smile of his own.
Milo held a hand flat, palm up, and rested his other in a fist against it. Carly and I mimicked him. With a nod of his head, we all beat our fists against our palms three times. Milo and Carly spread two fingers apart to simulate scissors. They laughed with each other and then looked at my hand, still balled in a fist.
“Well, shit. Rock beats Scissors. You get shotgun, Liberty.” Milo fake pouted.
A part of me thought he wasn’t sad about being stuck in the back with Carly. Another part of me thought it was ridiculous that an early twenty-something guy was pouting even if it was fake.
Carly and Milo climbed into the back of the minivan, and I took the front. Milo clapped his hands and then rubbed them together in enthusiasm. Carly giggled, and I rolled my eyes. With their energy, it promised to be a long summer on the road. I looked at Bax and could tell from his smirk that he could read my annoyance.
Bax looked in the rearview mirror and then at me. “Ready to go?”
“Hells to the yeah. Let’s bounce, ladies and gent.” Milo raised his mouth toward the roof of the minivan and howled.
My eyes became huge circles, and I tried to stifle a laugh. The almost laugh wasn’t because I thought Milo was funny but because I couldn’t believe a grown individual had just howled in excitement.
“All right.” Bax turned slightly in his seat, so he faced the back. “But let’s take it down about four notches. It’s going to be a long trip.”
“Whatever, Señor GTA. We Mexicanos like to do things with gusto. Show us the freedom of the road,” Milo said.
Bax turned to face the front and winked at me. My eyebrows drew together, and I looked out the window, searching our surroundings for an ominous figure who could ruin everything.
I sighed when Bax shifted into drive, and we started to move.
I watched the parking lot, campus, the town, and what was my pathetic life get smaller and smaller behind me in the side mirror. The farther we drove from Michigan, the lighter the weight on my chest became.
Music—I used the term loosely—blared in the van, and I wanted to pound my head against the passenger window.
Milo had won first control of the radio, and the playlist on his iPhone was full of heavy metal, heavy guitar, and heavy screaming. My prejudiced opinion had led me to believe that Mexicans only listened to traditional Mexican music. Whatever was coming through the speakers sure as heck couldn’t be considered music.
I loved lyrics filled with hate and anger as much as the next person, but two hours of listening to nothing but screeching was slowly strangling my patience.
The noise ended, and before it blasted into another song, I quickly turned off the radio. Being able to have some control over the dials was the only perk of sitting in the front seat.
“Your two hours are up.” I raised my fingertips to my temples to massage away the beginning of a headache.
“Whatever,” Milo huffed. “When are we stopping to eat, chico? Estoy muy hambriento.”
He bounced around his seat, which made me question if he was an overgrown child or high on something I didn’t want to know about. I also had a feeling I would receive a colorful education in speaking Spanish.
“I’m starving,” Carly said.
I figured she must have been smiling at Milo because it got quiet.
Dear Lord, help us.
The van would be rocking before the end of the trip, and I hoped I wouldn’t be in it or near it when it happened.
Ick.
Bax turned his head toward me. “You hungry, Liberty?”
My stomach growled in response, but the tires grinding against the pavement drowned it out. “Yeah.”
I hadn’t eaten since breakfast yesterday morning before Joel had cornered me at school. Since then, my stomach and mind had been tied in knots, and I couldn’t handle sustenance. It was now approaching the dinner hour the next day, and I was famished.
“Coolio. Where are we gonna stop?” Milo ducked his head between the front seats.
“Taco Bell!” Carly excitedly yelled from the back. “I need nachos.”
“You know I’m down with Mexican food,” Milo said sarcastically. “Even if it’s imitation.”
Bax laughed. “Fake for you, but real as real gets for the rest of us.” He looked at me. “You good with Taco Bell?”
I nodded.
“There’s one thing we all agree on already.” Bax smiled.
“Aw, Liberty, you’re so sweet,” Milo crooned. He sat forward to kiss my shoulder.
I stiffened from his touch but played it off with mock disgust. I wiggled my shoulder at him and batted at his head with my hand.
“Stop, you slimeball,” I tried to joke as panic slid into my stomach.
“Did you hear that, Carly?” Milo addressed her. “Liberty said she thinks I’m sweet, too.” He laughed with Carly and sat back in his seat.
“In your dreams,” I mumbled. “And call me Libby or Lib. I feel like I’m in trouble every time I hear Liberty.”
“You’re never in trouble with me, Libs,” Milo said with a hint of flirtation in his voice.
At that name, I went rigid as the blood drained from my face and pounded in my ears. The panic in my stomach recruited several friends.
“Don’t call me Libs,” I said, scarcely over a whisper. Only the monster who haunted me called me Libs, and I was trying to escape his talons.
“Why? Whatcha got against Libs, Libs?” Milo asked in a playful tone.
I gently stroked the bruise in the form of a handprint on my bicep. “Just don’t call me that.” It was hard, but I tried to keep the terror from my voice.
Bax glanced at me and then down at the spot I was rubbing through my long-sleeved shirt. Then, he looked back at me with understanding. I could tell this easy understanding would be the norm between us, and it made me uncomfortable.
“Aw, come on, Li—”
“Enough, Milo.” Bax’s stern voice cut through the cab of the van. “She said to call her Libby
or Lib, and that’s it. Drop it.” He gave Milo a harsh look in the rearview mirror.
“Dude, chill. I was just playin’.”
“Dude, show some respect,” Bax said.
“I have respect.” Milo leaned forward after a moment. “Sorry, Libby. Didn’t mean to offend you.”
Carly’s hand came between the seats. “There’s a Taco Bell at this exit.” She pointed at the blue sign indicating the restaurants.
It broke the heaviness in the vehicle, and I was thankful.
When Bax pulled into a parking space, we piled out of the van and strolled into the restaurant. My bladder was full, so I headed straight for the restroom, and so did Milo. He gave me a sheepish grin before he swung the door open and disappeared behind it.
After I finished my business, I washed my hands and splashed water on my overheated cheeks and neck. If I wanted this trip to be enjoyable, I’d need to relax. Every little thing couldn’t send me over the edge, or everyone would hate me or grow suspicious. And I couldn’t handle curious people digging into my past or what I tried to conceal. Bax seemed like a digger, and the last thing I needed was for the GTA trip leader to get a whiff of what my life entailed. The trip was a dream come true, and I couldn’t run the risk of ruining it over my secrets.
I looked in the mirror. Get your crap together, Libby. It’s play nice with the cubs on this trip or go back to the ring and be hunted by the lion. I shivered at the thought.
When I walked to the order counter, the gang stood, waiting.
“You could’ve ordered,” I said.
“I’m paying.” Bax held up a prepaid Visa card. “The grant covers food, remember?”
“Sah-weet! I’m starvin’. Let’s order one of everything,” Milo said.
“Chill, bro. It’s a long trip, and we only have so much money,” Bax told Milo.
Bax smiled at the girl behind the counter. The redhead swooned right before his eyes, and his smile broadened. It took strength not to roll my eyes.
After everyone ordered and we filled our beverages, Bax told us girls to pick a table while he and Milo waited for the food. Carly and I chose a seat by the window, and sat quietly—until she started to babble.
“Man alive, Milo and Bax are hotties, aren’t they?” Her attention was focused in their direction. When she turned back to me, her eyes were dilated, and her bottom lip was grasped between her teeth.
I examined our travel companions standing at the counter, talking. Bax sensed my gaze and looked at me. He grinned, showing a hint of his perfect white teeth and dimple, and I felt my dead heart pound for two beats. Then, it realized that guys brought nothing but trouble, hurt, and heartache, and it froze over again.
The guys were good-looking—Milo in a Hispanic different-spice-of-life kind of way and Bax in the everyday American bad-boy hottie sort of way. Milo was darker-skinned with black hair and almost black eyes, and he was thin without much muscle. Bax was drool-worthy, if I were the type of girl to drool. He was lean yet muscular, skin slightly darkened from the sun, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes that could penetrate through even the thickest exterior. He had sleeves of beautiful, artistic black-and-gray tattoos—of what, I didn’t know—down both arms. It made him look tough and unapproachable but so unbelievably yummy—again, if I were the type of girl to fall for yummy.
“Um, I guess they’re all right.” I took a sip of my Mountain Dew.
“All right? Are you blind?” Carly’s eyes were the size of saucers.
I shrugged. “They’re good-looking, if you’re into guys.”
Carly went quiet and then giggled. Her face was covered in a knowing smile.
“What?” I asked.
“You’re into girls.” It was a statement, not a question.
“What?” I repeated—this time, astounded. “No. Why would you think that?” I thought back to what I had said. “No, wait. By saying I’m not into guys, I didn’t mean I was into girls. I just…I don’t…looking and dating aren’t my things. But, if they were, I’d definitely be into guys.”
Carly looked at me in disbelief. She thought I was trying too hard to convince her I wasn’t attracted to women.
“Whatever, Libby. It’s your prerogative to like whomever and whatever you want. It’s America. Land of the free and shit.” Carly waved her hand to finish her statement as the guys set the trays of food on the table.
Milo sat next to Carly, which left the chair next to me open for Bax.
“What are we talkin’ about, chicas?” Milo started to dig out his order from the pile of food on the tray.
My stomach rumbled at the smell of beef, beans, and cheese.
“Nothing,” I mumbled around the straw of my drink.
“How Libby likes tacos instead of sausages.” Carly giggled.
I choked on my soda.
“Well, it’s a good thing we’re eating Mexican.” Milo was oblivious until he registered the knowing smirk on Carly’s face.
He looked at me, at Carly, and then me again. A mischievous grin tugged at his lips, and a devilish gleam entered his eyes. “Ohh…you like tacos instead of sausages.”
I squeezed my eyes closed, annoyed, and tried to take a calming deep breath.
“What are you guys talking about?” Bax asked around a mouthful of burrito.
“I repeat, nothing.” I grabbed my bean burrito and pintos and cheese from the tray.
“Libby bats for the same team, amigo. She digs muchachas, which I find muy caliente.” Milo waggled his eyebrows at me.
Bax swallowed hard before his interest swung in my direction. “Really?”
I laughed once, awkwardly, and shook my head. “No, not really.”
“I don’t get it.” Bax swiveled his head from me to Carly to Milo.
“She said she doesn’t like guys—” Carly started.
“I don’t like girls either,” I clipped loudly, too loudly for a public restaurant.
“But you said—” Carly whined.
“I said, I don’t like boys, yes. But, by saying that, I didn’t mean I was a lesbian. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. To each their own and all that…” I mixed my beans and cheese before I took a large bite.
“What does that even mean? You don’t like girls, and you don’t like guys. Do you like ducks or something?” Milo garbled around the taco shoved in his mouth.
Carly and Bax broke out in laughter, and I felt my cheeks heat in anger.
“Oh my gosh.” I roughly set my spoon down. “Are you kidding me right now? I don’t date. At all. Guys or girls. But, if I did date, I wouldn’t bat for the same team.”
“What about the guy I saw you with yesterday?” Bax asked as he unwrapped another burrito.
My shoulders sank, and my blood pressure increased. Bax had seen me with Joel, and Joel had indicated we were together.
“I’m not with him. He’s just…he’s a family…” I couldn’t bring myself to call him a friend. “I’ve known him since I was a kid,” I tried to say nonchalantly. If I acted weird, Bax would read into it further. I didn’t need anyone digging into anything where Joel was concerned.
“Oh, I thought…” Bax’s voice trailed off, and he shrugged. “I guess I didn’t think anything.”
It was silent at the table, uncomfortably so. I shoveled another large spoonful of beans into my mouth and concentrated on anything but the three people awkwardly trying hard not to look at me.
I finally released a long breath. “Can we move on, please? What about you guys? Anyone dating anyone?”
I didn’t particularly care, but I wanted the attention diverted from me. The conversation had exhausted me. I was a quiet person, who floated in the background and didn’t talk to people unless necessary. This trip would wear on me by the end. All the
discussions, forced smiles, and acting like I was normal and not broken beyond repair would prove to be taxing. But at least I wasn’t back in the house that felt like Alcatraz. That place was dark, cold, and held no hope of escape. Only one cellmate would stalk the halls, looking for me. He’d hide in shadowed corners, waiting to pounce and send me spiraling back into hell.
“Hell no!” Milo exclaimed as he vigorously shook his head. “Life’s too short to be tied to a novia. The whole ball-and-chain thing? Not for me. I like to swim in the sea of mujeres calientes.” He shoved half of a taco into his mouth and chomped in satisfaction.
Carly studied him with what seemed like disgust. Then, she rolled her eyes and minimally shook her head.
“I’m not dating anyone right now,” she said softly. “I recently broke up with someone.” She twisted the straw in her cup. “A jerk of a someone.”
Milo’s hand paused in midair with a taco, and he looked at Carly with what could only be considered concern. His eyebrows drew together before he shoved the rest of his food into his mouth. A piece of cheese clung to the corner of his lip.
“I’m sorry,” Bax said to Carly.
He threw a napkin at Milo. Milo took the hint and rubbed the napkin across his mouth once, and then he opened the wrapper of his last taco.
“Thanks,” Carly said shyly. After a quiet second, she asked, “Are you dating anyone, Bax?” Her voice was uncharacteristically high-pitched, giving away her interest.
Bax finished chewing and swallowed. “Kind of.”
I had been zoning in and out of their exchange, not really interested. I was happy that their attention was focused elsewhere, but I was unwillingly aware when I heard Bax’s answer. The reason behind my alertness was a road of consideration I didn’t want to travel.
Bax didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would have a girlfriend. He was all tattoos, scruff, artsy, and hard exterior, painted with all kinds of sexiness. Girls would flock to him at school, and when I had paid attention, I never noticed him brushing any of them off. Maybe he was a player with a sidekick girlfriend or a sometimes girlfriend.
I wonder if the girlfriend knows she’s a sometimes?
“Really, amigo? I would’ve never guessed you had a chica at home.” Milo playfully punched him in the shoulder from across the table. “Well, good for you. More mujeres calientes for me.” A large smile broke his face in two, and he stuffed the rest of his taco into his mouth.