Realistically, marriage should be viewed as a partnership, an exchange of goods for services. Most marriages are rooted in some form of religion that dictates marriage should be based on love. The origin of marriage vows is older than any existing marriage, yet most folk recite them anyway. Clueless about their true meaning or what the vows mean to them, they cheerfully oblige when the person presiding over their ceremony says, “Repeat after me.” Repeat what? Vows someone you don’t even know came up with thousands of years ago? How clever is that?
From religious-based moral safeguards to the biblical duty to procreate to the social definitions of right and wrong to the ultimate belief that family is the fundamental unit of society and the guilt of fornication that states marriage is truly the only legitimate way to indulge in sex, couples stand at the altar craving sex (not necessarily with their partner). That’s what marriage comes down to, you know. Partners are reduced to sex objects of desire. They worry more about who their spouse is having or thinking about having sex with than about the overall health of their mate.
I’ve said it before in another book, and I’ll say it now, “We should have a Worldwide Orgy Day so we can all fuck and fuck up at the same time.” Is initiating sex a husband’s duty? A wife’s obligation? Would you stop loving your spouse if you caught them cheating? Why? Should you treat your spouse like a child, place them on time-out for bad behavior, make them sit and wait until… you’re in the mood, not to make love but to have sex? That’s cool as long as you don’t mind them getting a lap dance in that corner or having their needs met elsewhere in the interim. Let’s explore a value that is dormant in today’s society… morals.
Morals. If most people upheld their own, many more relationships would succeed. But hey, who needs morals when all sins are weighted equally? Shouldn’t adults have the right to be happy without feeling guilty for indulging in pleasure? And if being happy means having extra, as in extramarital affairs, then pleasantries are indeed plentiful. Especially since most, if not all, married people merely have a permit. A license that excludes any mention of fidelity, thereby permitting their partner to have sex outside of the marriage. Like it or not, “You can’t break what you didn’t take.”
One can marry for love if they’d like. I wouldn’t because most married folk do at some point during their marriage fall out of love with one another and in love or lust with someone else. I swear I didn’t make this up. The next time you encounter a married couple that’s not on their honeymoon, notice how their marriage has grown into what they should’ve had from the very beginning, a partnership. Contracts allow individuals to sue for specific performance, breach, monetary recourse, etc. A contract has enforceable rights; a license does not. You may disagree with my interpretations, but feel free to email me at ( honeyb@marymorrison.com) for the list of enforceable rights for a marriage license.
A contract is executed and legally binding by both parties, a license is not. I hear you disagreeing with me on this one, but a contract requires performance. A license grants privileges and permission but doesn’t require you to do a damn thing. People stand before one another reciting vows while asking themselves, “What the hell am I doing?” So their “I do” really means, “I think so, but what if this doesn’t work out? Am I going to have to start over in five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, or thirty years?” If you had a contract, you could’ve included a “No Penalty, I Quit” opt-out clause. That means you get to keep your shit, I get to keep my shit.
Then why get married in the first place, right? Because people not only want, they need somebody to love. That’s natural. Well, in the land of the free and the home of the brave, we do marry for love or lust, but at some point, the two overlap and eventually overwhelm people. Especially when the love or lust is redirected to someone outside the marriage. So how can you control someone’s actions? You can’t.
The couples who marry for material gain—you know, for richer or richer—become stuck like Krazy Glue to one another because neither can afford the lifestyle they’ve acquired on their own, or they are just too damn selfish to give up half. Especially if they’ve contributed more than half of the household income.… Aw, damn. Should’ve gotten a prenuptial. Right?
That’s why I believe marriage licenses should be abolished. There are no warranties or guarantees with any license. Married couples allow government to dictate their divorce. You don’t need a marriage license to grant power of attorney to your mate, and you hold the right to terminate a power of attorney whenever you want without legal ramifications. If we are free-thinking citizens, then we should have to tell the other person why we want to marry them. I don’t mean the things you think the other person wants to hear. Keep it real. Write it down. And draw up contracts that are reviewed by independent attorneys.
Here’s my suggestion. If you want to marry someone, don’t combine your assets. You’ll soon discover how much they really love you. Start off new. Like you didn’t have assets before you met them. Consciously grow your relationship. Each party should earn their keep. Being a housewife is cool, but list housewife as your occupation in the contract and make sure you’re compensated, whatever that means to you.
Balance the money. Balance the power. If a man wants a trophy wife (you know, the former Miss this or that or the supermodel), then her monetary compensation should be included in the contract. If a woman wants a boy toy, he should be compensated too.
But in reality, if you don’t know your self-worth before saying “I do,” I can guarantee you one thing, your self-worth will diminish after executing a marriage agreement. “What the hell? Why would HoneyB say something like that? Marriage is a good thing. Right?”
It can be. But it’s not good for insecure people who are looking for a reason to be unhappy. I mean checking cell phones, pockets, cars, computers, etc. Go on, marry someone who starts tracking your every move with a damn GPS device. What does that prove at the end of the day? You should’ve married for money so your answer to the Southwest commercial question “Wanna get away?” wouldn’t be, “I can’t afford to.”
Karma. What goes around comes around. True. But most folk prefer to live by, “Do as I say, not as I do.” Oh, hell with that mentality; one might as well draw up the divorce decree before walking down the aisle. Hmm, that’s not a bad idea.
Foxy, Déjà, and Victoria Montgomery are the leading characters in Married on Mondays. Every woman should be fortunate enough to have Mr. Mason Montgomery as her father, a man who not only tells, but also teaches his daughters how to think like men, saying, “Men are like jobs, accept the job with the best benefits—insurance, working conditions, living environment, severance package, and pension plan.”
In a perfect world, women would be free-thinking individuals whose opinions were valued by men. He’d listen to how her day went, and hear her. He’d touch her and feel her. He’d propose to her without being coaxed or given an ultimatum. He’d care about her overall well-being. He’d put her first. Respect her. He wouldn’t try to control her. He’d realize caring for the children was not her main responsibility but their mutual obligation. He’d close his eyes while kissing her. He’d open his heart and protect hers. In a perfect world, a man would show and tell his woman how much he loves her.
In return, she’d support her man no matter what. She’d believe in his dreams no matter how far-fetched. Cook his meals. Wash his clothes. Stroke his ego. Warm his heart with her eyes. Rear their kids. She’d make their house his home. In a perfect world, marriage indeed would be satisfaction guaranteed or your love back.
On Saturday, March 14, I was driving home (to Oakland) from Anaheim from the Big West Conference after watching my son, Jesse, play in the men’s basketball tournament, listening to a country-and-western radio station. I heard a song that I instantly fell in love with. Toby Keith’s lyrics, “I wish somehow I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then,” resonated with me as I hope they will with you.
Some things are better left unto
ld.
Poetry Corner
False Faces
Hide not behind lies
But others’ lives
Pointing fingers
Shifting blame
Tarnishing names
Playing games
Going insane
Creating casualties
Escaping their reality
It’s all a formality
Of
Self-preservation
Survival of the fittest prevails
All the rest
Can go to hell
Instincts Originate
To protect
Failure to detect
Life or death?
Russian roulette
To ignore
The churn in the gut
Is there
Something more powerful
More aware
Alerts of danger
Ignore
Beware
Daddy’s Girls
Mean the world
To a man whose backbone
Is strong
Would give his life
To protect and defend
Real men
Tirelessly fight
Man to man
No sneaking or hiding
Real men
Fight for what’s right
Real men
Fight
Real men
Not Daddy’s little girls
Neither a woman
Nor his wife
Ticktock
Time waits
For no one
A fraction of a second
Determines fate
Could’ve told the truth
Hesitation
Should’ve made a move
Procrastination
A second
An hour
A day
Too late
Devastation
What are you waiting…
For
Ticktock
I Don’t Suck
Lots of men come my way
Some want a date
Others want to play
Then there are the ones
Who simply want head
Irrespective of the fact
That they haven’t paid
For a damn thing
Then there are the men at the club
Who wait until it’s late
And they want to take you home to fuck
But refuse to take you on a date
They don’t want to leave alone
Two o’clock in the morning
Hard dicks galore
So fucking hard
They could wax the floor
Men stroking erections
With no affection
Spittin’ game that’s lame
They wanna kiss your lips
Pound your hips
Make you scream their name
Those are the same men
Who walked past you
With a drink in their hand
Acted like they did not see… you
And did not speak… to you
Those are the same men
Who moved out your way
So you could get to the bar
They didn’t offer to pay
Or bother to stay
They checked you out from afar
But right around two
He made his move
That’s when you heard him say
Girl, I’ve been watching you all night
Your body is tight
And the mood is right
Make love to me tonight
Um, um…
Excuse me
Are you the same man
Who didn’t bother to speak
Or buy a drink
Or ask my name
And now you think
I’m supposed to open my legs
Take you to my place
And give you head
Listen to me
’Cause I’m going to say this once
I don’t suck
When my throat is dry
And my stomach is rumbling
And when my rent isn’t paid
I got my nails done
My hair is fierce
I paid for this lingerie
That’s clinging to my ass
So, no thank you
Keep your dick
I politely pass
Girl you missin’ out
On the best sex of your life
Well, I’ll take that chance
’Cause
A dick just don’t taste right
When I’m walking in broad daylight
’Cause I don’t have gas in my car
I don’t want to fuck
And I don’ already told you
I don’t suck
Listen to me
’Cause I’m going to say this once
This good pussy
Can do flips
She can do tricks
My tight pussy
Can make you whipped
Listen to me good
’Cause I’m going to say this once
Your ass ain’t slick
And I don’t suck