I go outside to help Dad
but even there Shunta and Gō
follow like shadows
all polite to my Dad
Shunta and Gō ask
if I can play with them
have some fun and make some
slime together
Dad thinks it’s friendly and innocent
says sure, go ahead! and even though I resist
he urges me to join them so finally
instead of making a scene
I do
as soon as we’re out of Dad’s sight
they put me in a headlock
and Shunta’s smiling so that
parents and teachers we pass
think he’s just fooling around
but under his breath
he’s cursing
Gō grabs one of my fingers
pulls it back till it’s about to break
and makes me walk with them
to the school chicken coop
and behind the coop Shunta snarls
you told on us, you jerk!
you said Gō took the dragon
and you touched my bicycle!
he spits in my face
I start to deny that I ever
said anything about Gō
but Shunta smacks me so fast
and so hard
I fall backward
bite my tongue
and taste blood
fortunately Ken
rounds the corner of the coop
stares them down
helps me get up
and walks with me
back to the school ground
Ken has the bright idea
to tell my parents I’m feeling sick
and offers to walk me home
on the way he says
everyone knows
you didn’t take the dragon
even Ōshima-sensei!
everyone knows
Gō was involved!
so don’t let them get you alone
stay with me and Yōhei and Shō
at school, we’ll guard you
even when you walk home
we’ll guard you, and eventually
they’ll just forget about all this
he’s trying hard
but I’m thinking
Yōhei betrayed me
he told Gō
where we hid the key
so who will be next?
at home
when Ken leaves
I lock the front door
lock all the windows
thinking of Daiki
locking his garden gate
I climb up into my bunk
and when Mom, Dad, and Cora return
I don’t have to work hard
to act sick
Chapter 33
SUSPICION
Monday is a comp day
we have no school
so I can stay home
all day indoors
and do mindless stuff—
check the Shōnan Gray spreadsheet
help Cora choose the best photos
for our first set of clear folders
search prices for printing
and help Cora design a logo
I don’t leave the house
until I get into the car
for the ride to English group
at English group
we share updates on our projects
divide into olders and youngers
and study more about business
and I report
and participate
but all afternoon
I’m half listening
just saying words
acting fine
but I’m not
because I suspect
Shunta and Gō
and all of han six
have a fight
in mind
on Tuesday
han six is watching me
my every twitch or squirm
my every mark in every workbook
my every stroke in every kanji
now Ōshima-sensei
is also watching han six
at last
but when Ōshima-sensei
leaves the room
Shunta leans close
grabs my shirt, says
what’d you tell him?
I don’t answer
I don’t defend myself
I don’t even say
that I didn’t say anything
because I know
it doesn’t matter
all that ever matters
is what Shunta thinks
after school I ask my tutor Yūsuke
if he ever got into fights
and how he saved himself
but he dodges the question
then says mostly he got beat up
because he did stupid things
to kids who could fight well
like trip them or throw rocks
I fill two large
plastic bottles
with water
and up in my room
after push-ups
and sit-ups
and aikido exercises
I lift those bottles
like barbells
while holding firm
my center
Chapter 34
BREATH
on Wednesday
Shunta and Gō
with the rest of han six
tell me at lunchtime
meet us after school
at the gate to
Dragon’s Mouth Temple
I tell them I watch Cora
on Wednesdays
they shrug, say
you better be there
I tell Ken and Shō
and they walk
on either side of me
to the after-school center
don’t meet them they say
keep away from them they say
that’s the best way
then they leave for juku
and I wonder if
what they say is true
or if hiding will just make
everything worse
I find Cora in the garden
decorating dango
and this time I don’t rush her
I let her take all the time she needs
to adorn her mud balls
finally she’s the one
who’s first to say I’m ready
she’s the one
who twice repeats
come on, J, let’s go
and I almost argue
almost start making
my own dango
with decorations
of grass and leaves
and flowers
just to stall
but I take a deep breath
sign her out from the center
and we put on our shoes
when we slide back the door
we see them waiting
Shunta, Gō, Naho, Yuki
and no Mika
but Yōhei
Gō says
we thought you might be thinking
of trying to escape
Cora eyes me, eyes them
pulls on my arm
says in English
let’s go back inside
but I say quietly
we have to go along
just for a bit
then we’ll get away
have an adventure
and Cora says
I don’t care about an adventure
I want to go home
but we don’t go home
we walk down the road
past the school
Cora by my side
Shunta and Gō in front
Naho, Yuki
and Yōhei
trailing behind
Shunta and Gō are arguing
and I’m keeping an e
ye out
for some hero to come along
or some distraction to appear
as they lead us toward
Dragon’s Mouth Temple
by the curve in the streetcar tracks
but no handy heroes arrive
and we all step through the first gate
between guardian deva kings
with their bulging glass eyes
ready to do battle
against evil
we climb stone steps
to the second gate
cross the temple grounds
climb more steps and cut left
at the incense urn
we edge the huge main hall
and climb rear stone stairs
to the sub-shrine with the guardian deity
that also has something to do with a dragon
but I can’t remember what
we hike through woods to the place
where there’s a break in the chain-link fence
along the temple land boundary
and Cora grips my hand tight
as I help her through the gap
we follow the narrow path
that leads to a small park where
Cora used to play with her preschool—
and we walk until Shunta
stops, says here
here what? I say
here’s where we do it
do what? I ask
and Shunta smirks
play
it’s fun
but first
send your sister away
Cora grabs my arm
she can stay I say
she likes fun
no Shunta says
no little kids
I say let me talk to her
thinking of aikido
calm and action
as one
Cora starts to whine
and I switch to English
say listen to me and do exactly
what I tell you to do
and even though the others can’t
understand most of my words
I know they know the word “help”
and I know they’re watching
my every move so I tell her
you have to go now
but let’s do some
multiplication first
multiplication? she says
are you crazy?
no, I’m serious I say
I’ll pretend I’m mad at you
and you have to pretend
you’re mad at me, got it?
I’m raising my voice now
and finally
Cora’s listening
and it’s simple
but I can’t think of anything else
so I speak in English like I’m mad
just answer: what’s 3 × 3?
nine! she says and stomps like she’s furious
but it’s a stomp I know as acting
what’s 10 × 10 – 99? I say
she sneers and says one!
then before I can say another problem
she says so, what’s 7 × 1 ÷ 7?
one! I say and add
now get out of here!
she spins around and over her shoulder
hollers in English I hate you, Jason Parker!
then calls me and the others
all the Japanese curse words she knows
and runs off through the break in the fence
and into the woods
out of sight
whether she gets help
or not
it’s better
without her
I’m not distracted
I’m centered
and focused
ready to fight
ten million men
but Shunta laughs
on seeing my ready posture
says no, we have something
more interesting planned
so we can welcome you
into the group
Yōhei says a few words to Shunta
trying to get him to give it up
that you don’t make someone play it
that it’s everyone’s choice to do it
whatever “it” is
but Shunta yells at Yōhei
and Gō suddenly smacks him
and Yōhei is so unprepared
he stumbles partway down
an embankment
into a tree
and in that moment
when Yōhei is smacked
I’ve lost my focus
and my center
and Shunta
tries to
shove me
I catch his arm
and manage a wrist lock
turn him
yank him off balance
and now he’s mad
but it’s rough, uneven ground
sloping off on both sides
so I can’t find my footing
to center myself
and Shunta then hurls
all his weight at me
and I fall back
soon he’s kneeling
on my chest
and I’m trying to fight him off
but he’s yelling at me
and hitting me
and I’m fighting
and struggling
and he’s heavy
on my chest
then Gō
is helping him hold me down
and Shunta says
do it
not if he doesn’t want to! Gō says
do it! Shunta orders
and Gō reaches for my neck
not strangling but
pressing on the sides
and Shunta kneels
harder on my chest
while pinning my arms
until I have no fight
and no breath
and the sound of the grove
and of Yōhei yelling
and Naho … crying?
and the twigs snapping
and bamboo grass
slipping
beneath me
disappear
Chapter 35
CORA
evidently
Cora does
get help
the monk
tending the amulet
and incense sales
inside the main hall
of the temple
and she doesn’t stop there
when she leads the monk
up the hill and through the fence break
and they find
me
unmoving
and the others
shaking
and slapping
me
unresponsive
she calls emergency
she calls Mom
she calls Dad
she calls emergency again
tells them to hurry!
then stays right by
me
unconscious
they say Cora told Shunta
she’d kill him if I died
they say it was the monk’s
immediate resuscitation efforts that saved me
they say Cora stayed right by me
talking at me nonstop
they say the ambulance didn’t arrive
until well after I’d regained consciousness
they say that Cora cursed at me
when my eyes started closing again
and they say that not until I was alert
and taking water at the hospital
and Mom had arrived
did Cora let herself cry
and let go of my arm
now moving
Chapter 36
ACHES
I stay overnight
at the hospital
Dad stays with me
sleeping in a chair
Mom takes Cora home
at the hospital
the ne
xt day
they do X-rays
and test after test
Cora and Mom bring
cups of custard pudding
that slides nice and easy
down my throat
and we wait
for results
but other than a cracked rib
and a throbbing headache
and cuts and scrapes and bruises
I seem to be okay
and they let me go home
in the evening
Cora and I
Mom and Dad
we all
take the rest of the week
off
and finally I speak
about everything
that has happened
in the classroom
on the seawall
near Daiki’s house
by Takemura’s
after school
and I ask Cora again
what happened up on the hill
in the woods above
Dragon’s Mouth Temple
she explains
second by second
step by step
after-school center
to hill
to hospital
but I still wonder
one thing
I know she caught
my 911 code
which is opposite
of Japan’s 119
I know she knew
to get help right away
but I wonder
how did she know
to get help that fast
especially when Shunta said
he just wanted to play?
duh! she says
because I could hear them talking
about chissoku
chissoku? I ask
choking! she says
when were they talking
about choking?
on the way to the temple
and up on the hill she says
Yōhei and Naho were arguing
Naho saying it’d be okay
because Shunta had done it to Gō
and Gō had done it to Shunta
and they were perfectly fine …
they wanted to make you play
the choking game
I realize
I’d been looking out
for someone to save me
during the walk
and listening so closely
to Shunta and Gō
on the hill
watching their moves
thinking of my moves
preparing to fight
an army of ten million men
that I’d missed this
major clue
choking game?
I can’t help but shiver
and my mom
wraps a fleece blanket
around me
until I have to run
to the toilet
to throw up
my parents talk
to the police
Cora talks to the police
and when I’m feeling better