bridge
right
refuge
he says hold this, in case I get lost
soon we’re out of YiaYia’s neighborhood
and on the highway
but Samnang won’t tell me
where we’re going
mystery he says
water
when we exit
I realize we’re in Newburyport
with all those big historic houses
then we turn left and suddenly
we see the mouth of the river
the one that also flows through Lowell
and YiaYia’s town
and Lena is calling out sights—
boats in the inlet
a tiny airfield with planes
a bridge we cross
signs say Plum Island
and I vaguely recall
a day at the beach
one summer way back
with YiaYia and Papou
making a sand castle
all of us wearing long sleeves
long pants
hats
against the flies
I think I’ve been here I tell Samnang
the dance troupe had a beach day here
last summer he says
Serey helped organize it
at the entrance to the wildlife refuge
I pay the fee
since this outing was my idea
then Samnang parks in a lot
and we all pile out, pulling on gloves
wrapping scarves, zipping up
against the cold wind
Samnang lifts Van to his shoulders
and we walk up a boardwalk
through the grasses
and crest a dune
and suddenly we are perched
above a
not volcanic gray
but long creamy white
sand beach
at the edge
of the icy blue
Atlantic Ocean
for a moment I’m stalled
turning in both directions
holding back my whipping hair
running my tearing eyes
over and over
those far reaches of sand
and I’m thinking
as soon as she’s strong enough
I’ll bring my mother here
Van scrambles down
and he and Lena run toward the water
and when a wave breaks
they squeal and retreat to dry sand
Samnang takes my gloved hand
and I breathe deep the salt air
perfect I say
good he says
I figured it was my last chance
for what?
to give you a good reason to stay
I laugh
I already have plenty of reasons
but I’ll add this to the list
so your decision . . .
I stop
and with my gloved hands
recessed in my jacket sleeves
turn him toward me
now who’s a dodo I say
I’m staying the year, Samnang
and then I’m being kissed
and I’m in his arms
and then I’m being swung
in a circle
then dropped
right on my rear
as he goes off doing cartwheels
and back handsprings
with Lena and Van following
until Van gets sand in his eyes
and cries and spits and screams
and Samnang has to wipe his face
with my scarf
when Van has recovered
Samnang starts walking
Frankenstein-style
dragging one heel
behind him
in damp sand
what are you doing? Van shouts
with his little hands on his hips
Lena and Van follow
dragging a foot each
making three parallel lines
more or less
of Samnang’s writing
in the sand
when he stops
they stop
and step back to read
39? Lena says
39? Van says
and Samnang saunters over
and wraps me tight in his arms
Lena shrugs
and Van loops
from Lena to the waves
arms out, soaring
then he comes careening
and head-butts Samnang
hey! Samnang and I say
and Samnang grabs for him
and I grab for him
but Van wriggles out of reach, sprints away
and Lena laughs and starts to run with him
and Samnang and I both give chase
down the white beach
alongside the cold frothing surf
half a world away
from my other home
Chapter 14
“Homage to My Hips” by Lucille Clifton
“Early in the Morning” by Li Young-Li
“Introduction to Poetry” by Billy Collins
Chapter 19
“Otherwise” by Jane Kenyon
“The Legend” by Garrett Hongo
Chapter 26
“God Says Yes to Me” by Kaylin Haught
“Painting a Room” by Katia Kapovich
Chapter 33
“Mermaid Song” by Kim Addonizio
“Making a Fist” by Naomi Shihab Nye
Chapters 37 and 39
O! Maha Mount Dagrek: Poetry of Cambodian Refugee Experiences, edited by Samkhann Khoeun
Chapter 39
“Litany for a Hidden Apsara” by Anida Yeou Ali
Chapter 41
“Enough” by Suzanne Buffam
“Running Away Together” by Maxine Kumin
“The Boundary” by Bei Dao
Chapter 44
“Patience” by Kay Ryan
“The Fist” by Derek Walcott
Books
Cambodian Dance: Celebration of the Gods by Denise Haywood
First They Killed My Father by Loung Ung
Look Up for Yes by Julia Tavalaro
Never Fall Down by Patricia McCormick
Oh Maha, Mount Dangrek, edited by Samkhann C. Khoeun
Roots and Wings by Many Ly
When Broken Glass Floats by Chanrithy Him
Films
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, directed by Julian Schnabel
The Flute Player, directed by Jocelyn Glatzner
The Killing Fields, directed by Roland Joffé
Monkey Dance, directed by Julie Mallozzi
Websites
Angkor Dance Troupe: angkordance.org
Poetry Foundation: poetryfoundation.org
Poetry 180: loc.gov/poetry/180/
Poets.org: poets.org
Japanese Folk Dance Institute of New York: japanesefolkdance.org
For more resources visit Holly Thompson’s website, hatbooks.com.
I am deeply grateful to Tim Thou, program director, and Linda Sopheap Sou, board president, of the Angkor Dance Troupe of Lowell, Massachusetts, and to all of the members of this phenomenal troupe, especially Emaly Horn, Virginia Prak, Sophorl Ngin, Peter Veth and Monica Veth for their guidance, patience, inspiration and encouragement during my research. I also wish to thank Sidney Liang, director of the Southeast Asian Resources for Culture and Health (SEARCH) in Lowell; Sonith Peou, director, Metta Health Center in Lowell; Dorcas Grigg-Saito, chief executive officer, Lowell Community Heal
th Center; the Royal University of Fine Arts in Phnom Penh; Deborah Cook, RN, BSN, OCN, Oncology Patient Education Coordinator for Inova Health System Cancer Services; writers Katrina Grigg-Saito, Avery Fischer Udagawa, Suzanne Kamata and other members of SCBWI Tokyo; Pamela Thompson, my awesome ice-hockey-playing breast-cancer-survivor sister; the late poet and author Julia Tavalaro, who inspired the character of Zena; Ron Becker and Diana Cortes of the Coler-Goldwater Specialty Hospital and Nursing Facility; poet Sharon Olds and the Goldwater Writing Project; the NGO Peace Boat for the Tohoku relief and cleanup operations in which I was able to participate following the earthquake and tsunami of March 11, 2011; Julie Mallozzi for her excellent documentary Monkey Dance; and Heather Willson and Sovann Phon for my visits to the village of Popeae in Cambodia. I also wish to thank my ever-encouraging agent, Jamie Weiss Chilton of the Andrea Brown Literary Agency, and my ever-wise and patient editor, Franc ¸oise Bui, and all the other friends, family members, colleagues and strangers who helped this book come together. Som or-kun. Arigato. Thank you.
Holly Thompson, a native of Massachusetts, is a longtime resident of Japan. She is the author of the verse novel Orchards, winner of the APALA Asian/Pacific American Award for Literature; the novel Ash; and the picture book The Wakame Gatherers. She is also the editor of Tomo: Friendship Through Fiction—An Anthology of Japan Teen Stories. Holly teaches creative writing and serves as the regional advisor for the Tokyo chapter of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators. Visit her at hatbooks.com.