Perhaps it makes no difference. Once a lover has imprinted himself on your mind, it is impossible to wipe him clean. I can go for weeks, months even, without thinking of Danny and then something – a phrase, or a smell, or a joke – will conjure him up again, as clearly as if I’d seen him the day before. Occasionally, he will feature in my dreams, and I will wake wondering if I did the right thing, feeling guilty for abandoning him, hoping that he has forgiven me. I’m happy now, but if things had turned out differently, could I have been happier?
If I know anything at all, I know this: I will never forget Danny. He has left a D-shaped scar on my heart, just as real as the O-shaped scar he will always wear on his arm.
Acknowledgements
Many thanks to: Brenda Gardner, Yasemin Uçar, Melissa Patey and everybody at Piccadilly; my agent, Janice Swanson at Curtis Brown; Celia Duncan, Diane Leeming and everyone at CosmoGIRL!; Bibi Lynch for being my first critic; Nula Bealby for putting up with me; Mum and Dad for the peaceful writing week in France; Matt Whyman for his wisdom and experience; and all my friends for listening and being there. Love and thanks to my husband, Steve Somerset, for the song lyrics for ‘Take It Now’. And finally, a bittersweet thanks to all the Dannys I have known, loved and lost.