that’s all. I don’t know if he knew whose clothes those were,
or how they happened to be on our dock. I don’t have to
explain it to him. Or to you. If I want to give him a TINY little
thank-you kiss on his cheek, how exactly is that hurting you?
Rivals
Claire
How did I get in the middle of this? TJ sees me out
on our dock, dangling my feet in the water. He rows
over and says, Hey, Claire, can I ask you something?
I nod, and he says, Do you know how those clothes
got on your dock last night? I don’t care what Abi says;
I know TJ wants to be her boyfriend, and I bet he thinks
he could be. He has a right to know. A boy, I answer,
left them there when he went in swimming. TJ blinks
a few times as he puts the story together in his mind.
Would this boy be named Brock? He laughs out loud
when I don’t answer. So when I thought I was helping
Abi, he says, I was helping my rival even more. Proud
to be of assistance, sir, he jokes. His rival! I knew it.
At least he thinks it’s funny, and I bet I can make
him laugh even more. I tell him the whole story, and he
does laugh—but then he gets serious. This lake,
he says, has a strong current that goes around the
island. I see that guy, Brock, out running all the time,
but I don’t see him much out on the lake, or swimming
long distance like Abi does. No surprise he couldn’t do it—I’m
just surprised Abi didn’t tell him it’s a lot harder
than you think it will be. Tell her to be careful. As if
I could. She doesn’t listen to warnings like that, I say,
especially not from me. TJ holds his boat still with
his oars and says, Thanks for letting me know, Claire.
(I’m not sure I should have, but he’s welcome.) How’s it
going? he asks. For you, I mean. I splash my foot in the water
and think about that. Okay, I guess. The baby can get a little bit
annoying. He’s cute and everything, but sometimes that’s all
Dad and Pam can think about. TJ gives me a friendly smile.
I know, he says, and adds, I could row out to the island with you
sometime, so you can try swimming back—that’s a tough half-mile.
It Means a Lot
Claire
Is Dad trying to make us feel guilty, or is he doing it
without trying? Thanks for babysitting last night, girls,
he says. It means a lot to have daughters I can trust.
I don’t look at Abi. I stir my soup, making little swirls
of noodles as Dad goes on. Since Pam and I went out
for dessert last night, why don’t the three of us go
somewhere tomorrow—maybe over to Pizza Pete’s?
I say, Okay! And Abi says, Sure, Dad. Does Dad know
how much we miss doing things with him? This
makes me happy—it shows Dad really does care
about Abi and me as much as he cares about Blake. Plus,
for once, I won’t be Abi’s babysitter—Dad will be there.
A Quick Turn
Claire
I’m going into town this afternoon, but I’ll be back by four
at the latest, to take my two special girls on our big date.
Dad can be so corny. So, he says, if you go to the beach,
make sure you’re home by then. I don’t want to be late
for our exclusive reservation at Pizza Pete’s. I requested
the best table, and the maître d’ will be waiting for us.
Pam smiles; on her birthday, they did go to a
fancy restaurant like that—Pizza Pete’s is just
the opposite. Check the weather, Dad says. There could
be storms coming through later on. Abi says, Okay,
but once Dad’s gone, she’s more interested in how
to get Brock’s clothes back to him sometime today.
She thinks he’ll be at the beach, and she puts his clothes
in her backpack before we set off in the canoe. It’s hotter
than it’s been all summer, so we’re sticking close
to shore, where weeping willows hang over the water.
We’re coming to the place where I went around the bend
and surprised Abi and Brock that day she fell off his dock.
I start to paddle harder, in a hurry to get past his house,
but then I hear Abi’s startled whisper: Is that Brock?
She lifts her paddle to point at him. He’s not looking
our way, but Abi is staring at a girl, who is. She sits
on the end of his dock, and Brock is putting sunscreen
bright; the sun is in her eyes. She twists her paddle
to make a quick turn. The girl gives a little wave,
which Abi does not see, as we paddle back the way
we came. I turn to face Abi and say, Don’t we have
to take Brock’s clothes back to him? She looks like she’s
about to cry. Why would he have another girlfriend
so soon after he told me he liked me? It doesn’t even make
sense. True, I guess—so does this mean the end
of her sneaking out and lying and deceiving Dad,
which I am completely sick of? I can’t resist
saying out loud: I wonder if this is how TJ feels.
(Was that mean?) That’s different! Abi tries to insist,
but that’s all she says. Maybe she’s actually thinking
about it—she’s quiet the rest of the way home.
Thunder rumbles in the distance as we pull up the canoe
and tie it to the tree. Abi mutters, I just feel so dumb.
Glad We Can Talk
Claire
Dad gets back from town and helps Pam
feed Blake and put him to bed. Okay, who
is ready for our big evening out? he asks. Abi, is
anything wrong? She shrugs, and he says, You
seem quiet. I just wondered. We drive to Pizza Pete’s,
sit in a booth by the window, and the waiter
brings us our drinks. Dad proposes a toast:
To my girls—who are growing up too fast. We lift our
plastic cups. Don’t worry, Dad. We’re still kids, I say.
Speak for yourself. I’m not a kid, Abi has to add.
Either way, says Dad, as I’ve said before, it means
a lot to be able to trust you two right now. Abi, I’m glad
your week of being grounded is almost over. I hope
it hasn’t been too hard on you, and that you’ve learned
a little bit. He takes a big bite out of his pizza, and
doesn’t seem to notice that Abi’s face has turned
bright red. She looks out the window, away
from Dad. He and I each eat two whole pieces
before Abi takes a bite. Is something wrong? Dad asks
for the second time. No, nothing’s wrong, she says.
I’m not too hungry. That’s all. Dad looks from her
to me, a question on his face. Well—he’s trying
hard—how are you two feeling about Pam and Blake
by now? Abi looks like she might start crying,
but she doesn’t want Dad to think she’s having
a hard time about that. Fine, she says, and Dad
turns to me. I like Blake, I say, but I miss Mom’s
books and everything. I don’t know why you had
to get rid of everything. What did you do with them?
Dad looks surprised. They’re in boxes out in the shed.
I tho
ught we could take them home when we leave.
Sorry, I didn’t think about it. You should have said
something. I don’t know why he didn’t think about it,
but at least he’s listening now. I look down at my plate
and say, It’s okay. We’re all quiet for a few minutes. Then
Abi blurts out, Dad, I thought things were going great,
but what if I was wrong? Dad goes, Huh? And she takes
a deep breath and says, See, there’s this boy I kind of like, he’s
cute and nice, and I thought he liked me—that’s good, right?
Dad says, Right, but he shakes his head. Abi—please
start from the beginning. When and where did you meet
this boy? Who is he? he asks. Abi says, A few weeks
ago. I can tell she’s being careful not to say more
than she wants to. I met him—Brock—at the beach.
And now I think he likes someone else, and he didn’t even
tell me why. I mean, I’m good enough—right? I’m not funny-
looking, am I? Dad gets that “Where’s Pam when I
need her?” look, thinks for a minute, and says, No, honey,
never think that. You’re perfect. He looks at me
and adds, You both are. That was nice of him.
You might think this boy is the best person in the world,
and I wish he thought the same about you. I’m
not so sure he doesn’t, in fact. Sometimes you have to
talk to someone a little more. Get to know each
other. Take things one day at a time. One boy at a time.
He pats Abi’s hand. She reaches for a piece
of pizza, takes a bite, does not look at me.
Dad says, I’m glad we can talk about it. Abi nods. So
am I, she says. Dad says, Good. Meaning: “The end.”
If he only knew how much he doesn’t know.
Later, as we’re driving home, a few raindrops
hit the windshield. Then more. Then hail.
The wind picks up and Dad drives carefully, glancing
at Abi and me, with a tight grip on the steering wheel.
Splashing Water on Blake’s Hands
The lake
After last night’s storm,
people want to talk. They all come
out to see what the wind blew down.
Where are the swans? In the channel on my
eastern shore, their nest survived the storm. TJ
rowed in earlier, to check on them. Then he went
out with Devon and the twins, hoping to catch some
fish, but Sadie talked so much that TJ has turned back.
Blake is coming now. I’ll meet him for the first time.
Usually, Claire and Abi run quickly down the path,
taking the stairs two at a time, but with the baby
they walk carefully. Down at the shore, the girls
enjoy splashing water on Blake’s little hands.
Right when they’re laughing together, the
four Johnsons go by. Sophia says, TJ,
look! The baby! Can we stop? TJ says
Yes, and pulls up to the dock.
One Boy at a Time
Abi
Everyone is crowding around Dad and Blake.
When I step back so Devon can get a better look,
TJ comes close to me and whispers, Abi, do you
want to see the swans? I rowed in early this morning
and found their nest at the far end of the channel.
I could take you to see them sometime if you want.
I’ve been thinking about what Dad said: One boy
at a time. That would also mean one girl at a time,
right? Apparently, Brock likes someone else, and
I do want to see the swans’ nest. Okay, I whisper
(because TJ whispered first). But why are we
whispering? Who is not supposed to hear?
Maybe he doesn’t want to take his little sisters
and brother. Or maybe my sister? Claire would love
to go along. But this is my first day not being grounded—
I can finally go where I want without her tagging along.
Tomorrow morning? TJ suggests. I nod, and he says, Let’s meet
here at eight—he’s still whispering. Claire gives us a funny look.
Nothing Much
Claire
What were you and TJ whispering about?
I ask Abi, and she answers, Nothing much.
But then before we go to bed, she tells Dad, I’m
going on a boat ride with TJ tomorrow. Such
a small thing, maybe, but why didn’t she tell me
when I asked her? Is there some reason they
don’t want me to know? Am I now the person
Abi keeps her secrets from? Dad says, Okay,
Abi. See if you can find out where he’s
been catching all those fish! That boy sure
knows his way around this lake. And tell him
he’d be welcome to borrow my new lure.
Does it occur to Dad that TJ is a boy
and Abi is a girl and they’re going
out alone together? Or does he think, It’s only
TJ? I guess Dad knows what he’s doing.
Questions
Claire, kayaking to the beach
Abi left the house at eight. Where
did she and TJ go, so secretly? Does
it mean she likes TJ now in this
new boy-girl way? Did they leave
the Johnson kids behind? Or just me?
I Leave That Out
Claire
I’m at the beach earlier than usual this morning
and I’m glad to see Jonilet. She’s full of notes
and observations about what happened on the
two days Abi and I weren’t here. Two sailboats
got so close to shore, the lifeguards had to close
the beach until the wind died down. Also, Brock
was here with that girl over there. She points
out the same girl who was with him on his dock
the other day. I haven’t seen her here before, but it seems
like she knows Brock pretty well. Where’s Abi today?
she asks. She went on a boat ride, I answer, so I came
by myself. She’s not grounded anymore. I don’t say
who she went on the boat ride with. I’m not sure
why I leave that out. So much depends
on what I don’t know: Do Abi and TJ “like-like”
each other now, or are they still just friends?
A Quiet Place
Abi
TJ steers his little fishing boat
up to the channel, then shuts
off the motor and lets us drift
into the reeds. I take the oars and pull us
to a quiet place I never knew was here.
Finger to his lips, Shhhh … TJ points.
We sit in silence, watching a great white
bird glide through the water toward a nest
hidden in the reeds—and then the other swan
stands up in the nest, and turns, and settles back.
Four eggs, TJ whispers. For a long time, we sit still
in the boat, silently watching the pair of swans.
TJ turns and nods to me. Let’s see, he whispers,
if we can get a little closer. I row toward the nest
without a sound. The swan lifts herself again,
nudges each egg with her beak. Oh, TJ, look!
I whisper. The morning is so still, the two of us
so quiet, we hear a tiny beak begin to crack its shell.
We watch until the baby swan is hatched.
I release the breath I’m holding, and TJ turns
to me, smiling, as the sun climbs into the sky.
We don’t speak. Even whe
n TJ motions me to lift
the oars and row away, we hold our silence as we glide
through the channel, back out on the lake. The motor,
when TJ starts it up again, seems quieter. We take
the long way home. When we stop at my dock, TJ
steadies the boat, and says, Thanks, Abi, as I step out.
Thank you, TJ, I reply. His smile comes from
a warm, sun-bright place. After he goes home,
I sit on the dock, my feet in the water, thinking, I love
the swans, I love TJ’s smile, I love this lake … until
the swans and the sun and the smile and the silence are
impossible to separate, still and quiet, deep inside me.
Okay, I Can See That
Claire
When I get home I’m still annoyed that Abi and TJ
left me behind. I walk along the dock, and sit
down planning to tell Abi I saw Brock with that girl.
But there’s something different about her, and it
makes me quiet. We listen to the lapping of small
waves on the shore. A school of minnows swims around
our feet. An eagle flies overhead, then dives
for a fish. Sitting here with Abi calms me down.
After a while, I ask: Where did you and TJ go?
Abi takes her time to answer. We went to see
a swans’ nest in the channel that leads to the next
lake over. I look at her. Why didn’t you ask me
to go along? There. I’ve asked. And Abi answers.
I wasn’t sure about that, Claire. I think TJ was trying
to slip away without the little kids finding out where
he was going or who he was going with. Is she lying
so I won’t feel bad? She goes on, We had to
keep it quiet and he probably didn’t want to worry
about you and me talking the way we do, you know?
Okay, I can see that. I nod, and Abi says, Sorry,
though. You would have loved it. Maybe now that I
know where the swans are, we can take the canoe
and go see them. It’s kind of far, but you’ve been
getting so strong this summer, I’m sure we could do
that now. We agree we’ll get up early tomorrow
or the next clear morning and go out together.
Let’s take oranges and hot chocolate, I suggest, like Dad