EPILOGUE
The next morning, I still write on the mirror. Of course I do. We need rituals, we need remembrances, we need the private connections that make each of us unique. The web of our individual lives, the combination of love and fate and luck and timing and coincidence that creates the tiny space in the universe that only we inhabit.
Did the Rayburns’ reckless son spook me and Dex and Sophie to crash into that innocent tree? Or was it Sophie’s light-ting? I’ll never know, just like I’ll never know what Sophie might have been, whether Dex and I would have been happy forever, or how long the sun will shine.
What is the deep and inscrutable singular truth? There are things we can’t know. And that we certainly can’t understand.
There are truths, though. We have one life, we do the best we can. We love, we laugh, we grieve, we breathe. Some doors close. Some doors open. We find forgotten rooms.
This morning, I use one finger to write on the steamy mirror. First, I draw a line down the middle. A line of demarcation. On the left, before. On the right, after.
On the left, as I have for so many months, I write the number of days away from my old life. Four hundred ninety-three days. 493. The ghost of every number will always be there.
On the right side of the line is my future.
With a single motion, and sending a tender message to the stars, I write: 1.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Unending gratitude to
Kristin Sevick, my brilliant, hilarious, and gracious editor. You are endlessly wise and patient, and you made all the difference. The remarkable team at Forge Books: the incomparable Linda Quinton, the indefatigable Alexis Saarela, and copy editor Nancy Reinhardt, who noticed everything, even kept a list of the numbers. Thank you. And thank you, Faceout Studio, what a cover! It is astonishing to see this story come to life. Bess Cozby, I am so grateful. Brian Heller, my champion. The inspirational Tom Doherty. What a terrifically smart and unfailingly supportive team. I am so thrilled to be part of it. Thank you.
Lisa Gallagher, my stellar and incredible agent. You changed my life and continue to do so every day. I am so honored to work with you.
Francesca Coltrera, the astonishingly skilled independent editor, who lets me believe all the good ideas are mine. Editor Chris Roerden, whose care and skill and commitment shines on every page.
The artistry and savvy of Madeira James, Mary-Liz Murray, Nina Zagorscak, Charlie Anctil, Mary Zanor, and Jen Forbus.
Sue Grafton. Mary Higgins Clark. And Lisa Scottoline. And Lee Child. Words fail me. (I know, a first.) Erin Mitchell. Barbara Peters, Joanne Sinchuk, and Robin Agnew.
My amazing blog sisters at Jungle Red Writers: Julia Spencer-Fleming, Hallie Ephron, Roberta Isleib/Lucy Burdette, Jenn McKinlay, Ingrid Thoft, Deborah Crombie, and Rhys Bowen.
My dear friends Mary Schwager, Laura DiSilverio, Elisabeth Elo, and Paula Munier. And my treasured sister, Nancy Landman.
And my darling husband, Jonathan Shapiro, of course, who made this possible.
Do you see your name in this book? Some very generous souls allowed their names to be used in return for an auction donation to charity. To retain the magic, I will let you find yourselves.
Sharp-eyed readers might notice I have tweaked Massachusetts geography a bit. It is only to protect the innocent. And I adore it when people read the acknowledgments.
Keep in touch, okay?
http://www.hankphillippiryan.com
http://www.jungleredwriters.com
http://www.careerauthors.com
FORGE BOOKS BY HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN
Trust Me
The Other Woman
The Wrong Girl
Truth Be Told
What You See
Say No More
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN has won five Agatha Awards, in addition to the Anthony, Macavity, Daphne du Maurier, and Mary Higgins Clark Awards for her bestselling mystery novels. As an investigative reporter, her work has resulted in new laws, criminals sent to prison, homes saved from foreclosure, and millions of dollars in restitution for victims and consumers. Along with her thirty-four Emmys and fourteen Edward R. Murrow Awards, Ryan has received dozens of other honors for her ground-breaking journalism. A former president of Sisters in Crime and founder of MWA University, she lives in Boston with her husband, a nationally renowned civil rights and criminal defense attorney. Trust Me is her first standalone novel.
Visit her online at www.hankphillippiryan.com, or sign up for email updates here.
twitter.com/hankpryan
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CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Epigraphs
Part 1
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Thirty
Part 2
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty-One
Chapter Forty-Two
Chapter Forty-Three
Chapter Forty-Four
Chapter Forty-Five
Chapter Forty-Six
Chapter Forty-Seven
Chapter Forty-Eight
Chapter Forty-Nine
Chapter Fifty
Chapter Fifty-One
Chapter Fifty-Two
Chapter Fifty-Three
Chapter Fifty-Four
Part 3
Chapter Fifty-Five
Chapter Fifty-Six
Chapter Fifty-Seven
Chapter Fifty-Eight
Chapter Fifty-Nine
Chapter Sixty
Chapter Sixty-One
Chapter Sixty-Two
Chapter Sixty-Three
Chapter Sixty-Four
Chapter Sixty-Five
Chapter Sixty-Six
Chapter Sixty-Seven
Chapter Sixty-Eight
Chapter Sixty-Nine
Chapter Seventy
Chapter Seventy-One
Chapter Seventy-Two
Chapter Seventy-Three
Chapter Seventy-Four
Chapter Seventy-Five
Chapter Seventy-Six
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
Forge Books by Hank Phillippi Ryan
About the Author
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of th
e author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
TRUST ME
Copyright © 2018 by Hank Phillippi Ryan
All rights reserved.
Cover design by Faceout Studio
Cover art by Shutterstock.com
A Forge Book
Published by Tom Doherty Associates
175 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY 10010
Forge® is a registered trademark of Macmillan Publishing Group, LLC.
www.tor-forge.com
The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.
ISBN 978-0-7653-9307-4 (hardcover)
ISBN 978-0-7653-9308-1 (ebook)
eISBN 9780765393081
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First Edition: August 2018