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Patrick Oswald Edwards
My name is Patrick Oswald Edwards. I feel at odds with myself. Each day I suffer a quiet discord and it's beyond my comprehension. Writing anything, in fact any instance of creativity is near impossible, as if I am inflicted with some obscure mental sickness. My intellect and imaginative spark seems lost to the darkness, like a child fallen into a well. But strangely, objects and visions still attempt to inspire me.
My neighbour, Mr Pym, is a unique individual. Each day he tends the pond in his yard, calling to his goldfish, telling his scaly sons and daughters stories of journeys to places far and beyond. Sometimes I overhear him and his words puzzle and astonish me all at once. He tells the fish of a great hunt that he cannot remember the ending of, but it is vivid with details of great bow ships and wild open seas.
Ironically, that is my conundrum -- who I am. I live in the home I was raised in. It is a modest two storey home, but it serves my purpose. I eat and sleep on the upper storey and the lower floor is my creative domain. But as of late, it has become little more than a cesspool of lost thoughts; pieces of paper stained with the scratchings of a creative psychotic. On occasion I stop and look at what I have written and the words disturb me.
Then there is the bird.
A black carrion or suchlike crows to me in my sleep and becomes whole when I wake. At night it translates what I have written and during the day it visits, begging me for sustenance. It gratefully accepts any food that I have to give, but it has a taste for insects especially. When daylight breaks through my curtains sometimes I find a pile of dead insects at my feet, mealworms, flies and spiders, all dead. I have no inkling of where they came from or how I happened to invite them into my bed. But the bird knows, and when I let him in each morning he flies into my room and picks the sheets clean.
This word becomes a sliver in my subconscious and I find myself obsessed to the point where I have an uncontrollable urge to delve deeper. Before I can inhibit myself, I am digging a great pit in my backyard. Mr Pym notices and he seems to savour my calamity. At one instance he hands me a small grandfather clock and instructs me to bury it. I make no argument and gladly commit the time piece and its pendulum to the soil. Soon after the pit is full, I feel calm again.
My melancholy returns at twilight and bizarrely I find the carrion at my writing desk, the pen in his beak, and he has written a single message for me -- floorboards. The words sting like a knife and I find my obsession returning in waves. I scan each piece of wood at my feet, studying the swirl of the grain and the gap between each plank. My fingers, now shaking with anxiety, locate a gap that is far wider than the rest and I find myself tearing at the wood to see what lies beneath. Splinters pierce my fingernails, but I pay no heed to the blood. All I seek is what has been hidden from me.
There in the dank darkness is the sum total of two lives, one past and one that is now. A photo of a solemn fellow peers back at me and he is like an old friend who has been a stranger for many a year. His high forehead and dark gaze are all too familiar. I know this man; I know his words and it is here, under the floorboards, that I discover what he has been trying to tell me. I am then drawn to a photo of myself; the eyes look the same as his and for the first time in a long while I smile. My memories are his memories and his words are my words.
I crawl down in the depths and lay with our words and purposefully I pull the boards back over me. I feel calm again as the boards envelop me like a funeral shroud. Now I can sleep and dream and think and reacquaint myself with my soul. Then, when he says my heart is ready to tell tales, then and only then will I return to spread his dark message across the world.