John walked on quickly.
Other men wandered through the narrow lane. Some carried lamps. Most had only cheap tallow candles. There seemed to be an unspoken order to their pacing. None of them walked close enough that the lights they carried illuminated another man’s features. When they passed going opposite directions, each averted his eyes and said nothing.
Only once, as John passed by, did another man reach out and brush his hand across John’s hip in clear invitation. John made no response, and an instant later, the other man was swallowed by the darkness as he disappeared into one of the alcoves.
John didn’t like to think of Ravishan even being in a place like this, let alone cruising here. He thought that it might even come as a relief to discover that he’d gone to the wrong location entirely.
He reached the wall that sealed the narrow lane off. No one waited for him. John lifted his lamp to scan the partially collapsed wall. Stones had fallen, or been pulled from their mortar, creating a gap that a slim man could squeeze through. John stepped closer to the crumbling space.
“Up here.” Ravishan’s voice sounded in the darkness. “You should put out the lamp.”
John blew out the flame and waited for his sight to adjust.
It was always remarkable to him how much he could see in the dark here. With the lamp lit, his eyes never adjusted and so the shadows remained impenetrable. But as his pupils widened, he realized that he could make out the wall quite well.
Higher up, the wall was thick and wide, and the broken spaces where the stones had fallen away formed rough steps leading to the very top. Spindly saplings had taken root on several of the steps and they created even darker shadows than the night offered. Small pale flowers drooped from several branches.
Ravishan lounged against the slender trunk of one of the saplings near the top. His dark hair looked wet and John guessed that he had just washed it.
John started climbing. The air was cooler beneath the young trees. The flowers gave off a faint honey-like scent. It almost masked the dank, humid odors that emanated from the alley below.
“I thought you might not come,” Ravishan said.
“I told you I would.”
“I know.” Ravishan smiled briefly at John, then glanced anxiously away. John wondered what was making him so nervous. Obviously not something that was easy to talk about, otherwise he would have come out with it already.
John frowned as Ravishan pulled several weeds out from between the stones of the wall.
“Their roots break the mortar apart.” Ravishan gazed intently at the small plant in his hand. Then he threw it aside. “I suppose the trees do worse.”
John could have told him that it was the smaller plants that made the first inroads through which the trees’ roots would spread, but he knew it wasn’t important. They weren’t here to talk about mortar erosion.
“There was something you wanted to tell me,” John said.
“There was.” Ravishan leaned back, letting the young tree take his full weight. He stared upward. John followed his line of sight up between the spindly branches of the tree to the dim stars.
“But now that you’re here...” Ravishan shook his head just a little. “I’m not sure.”
John frowned but didn’t say anything. He wondered if Ravishan was trying to tell him goodbye. The awkwardness of the exchange reminded him of the uneasy farewell he’d exchanged with his brother when he’d come to visit John against their father’s wishes. It had been the last time they’d ever spoken to each other.
Had Ravishan finally decided to escape from Rathal’pesha? John dropped his gaze down to his hands. He didn’t want Ravishan to leave.
“When you think of someone in your mind,” Ravishan said softly, “they are exactly as you think they are. You think they’re kind, and in your mind, they are kind. But then you encounter them in the flesh, and you realize that perhaps they could be different.” Ravishan looked at John for a quiet moment before going on. “Right now, you and I exist in each other’s minds. Perhaps you have an idea of me, and I have an idea of you, but we haven’t tested those ideas. Do you know what I mean?”
“I think so.” John nodded. He just wasn’t sure where Ravishan was going with the conversation. He wondered if Ravishan was simply trying to avoid saying anything.
“Right now, I think you like me.” Ravishan quickly looked back up at the stars. “And I don’t want you to change your mind. So I don’t want to tell you something that will make you think I’m not the person you like.”
“So, you’ve changed your mind and you don’t want to tell me?” John asked.
“No.” Ravishan sighed. “I want to tell you. And at the same time, I don’t want you to know.”
“Well, that’s a quandary,” John said. “It’s going to have to be one or the other.”
“I know,” Ravishan said.
“I suppose it all depends on how much you trust me,” John said.
Ravishan gazed up at him from beneath heavy lashes. “I trust you.”
“Then you should tell me.”
Ravishan straightened. John could see the pulse hammering along the curve of Ravishan’s throat. His hands shook and his dark eyes went wide. Suddenly, he looked away from John down to his feet.
“I can’t say it when you’re watching me.” Ravishan flushed. John could clearly see the dark color spreading across his cheeks.
John realized that Laurie had been right and he was a complete idiot. And if this truly was David Lewis all over again, John knew exactly what would happen next. Ravishan would ask him to close his eyes and then kiss him.
“Ravishan.” John’s voice felt suddenly rough in his throat. His skin felt hot. “You know that this isn’t safe for either of us.”
“I know,” Ravishan whispered.
John could smell faint hints of sweat and incense on Ravishan’s skin. A deep, primal part of him longed to draw in more of Ravishan’s scent, to taste him.
“Close your eyes,” John told him.
Ravishan hesitated for a moment, then obeyed, his head tilted back just slightly, his lips barely parted.
As he leaned close, John whispered, “Just this once.” He felt the heat of Ravishan’s breath. Then, very gently, John kissed him.
Ravishan’s lips parted beneath his and John automatically deepened the kiss. Ravishan’s mouth tasted sweet and felt burning hot. Hungry desire throbbed through John’s body. He hadn’t expected Ravishan to give himself so well.
John’s hands instinctively slid down the curve of Ravishan’s back and around the stiff leather edge of his belt until his fingers touched the cool metal of Ravishan’s belt buckle.
Ravishan trembled against him and arched into John’s hands, his skin radiating heat even through his heavy clothes. The scent of him, the taste of him, the feel of his strong body—it was everything John had been deprived of for years. The intensity of his own arousal alarmed him.
They were courting death doing this.
John pulled away. If he didn’t stop now, he wouldn’t stop at all. He knew that much about himself.
Ravishan started after him, but John placed a restraining hand against his chest.
“We can’t.” John’s voice sounded hoarse even to himself.
“But you said this once.” Ravishan’s hands slid along John’s arm, stroking the tender skin of his wrist and elbow. Shivers of pleasure whispered through the muscles of his arm and spread through his chest.
“I meant just one kiss.” John could hardly catch his breath. His entire body burned and he ached to pull Ravishan against him again.
“Couldn’t we be… together just once—”
“It’s never just once.” John knew better than to hear out any argument, since he already wanted to give in. He stepped out of Ravishan’s reach. “Neither of us can afford to start this. Not here. Not now.”
“But you liked it.” Ravishan pursued him, pressing close enough for John to feel his breath tickle his ear.
“Of course I liked it. That’s the problem.” John dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “I like it. I like you. If we got started, I wouldn’t want to stop. And that could get us both killed.”
“I would be willing to die, if I could be with you,” Ravishan whispered.
John knew the words were meant to be arousing, to show John how deeply Ravishan longed to be with him, but they only revealed the innocent arrogance of his youth. He wasn’t considering actual death.
Ravishan plainly envisioned himself as a character in some ancient, tragic, love poem. But John could too easily imagine a real execution, so Ravishan’s words sent a spike of cold dread down his spine. The thought of Ravishan bound and burning on the Holy Road destroyed John’s desire in a moment.
“I will not put you in that kind of danger,” John said flatly.
“I don’t care,” Ravishan insisted.
“I do!” The words came out harsh and angry. John didn’t mean them to, but he needed Ravishan to stop tempting him. “You don’t endanger the life of a man you care about just so you can get laid. How selfish can you be?”
Ravishan recoiled as if he had been physically struck. The color drained from Ravishan’s cheeks and mouth and his hands dropped to his sides.
“I’m sorry,” John said. “I shouldn’t have ever kissed you.”
“I wanted you to.” Ravishan hung his head.
Ravishan only nodded.
John turned and climbed down the broken wall. He wanted to look back to see if Ravishan still stood there watching or if he had already gone, but he didn’t. He kept his eyes on the muddy, torn ground ahead of him, steadily retracing his path back out of Candle Alley as if by finding his exact footsteps he could take the entire night back.
To Be Continued…
Titles, Ranks and Terms of Address
Usho—Leader of the Pashmura Church.
Kahlil—Holy Traveler and Companion to Parfir.
Ushman—High Ranking Clergy; often in a position of great responsibility.
Ushiri—Talented Priest studying to become Kahlil’im.
Ushvun—Priest.
Ushvran—Nun.
Kahlirash- Military sect devoted to Parfir’s destroyer incarnation.
Gaunsho—Lord of one of the seven noble houses.
Gaunan—Nobleman.
Gauniri—Noblechild.
Gaunvur—Noblewoman.
Gaun’im—Nobles (as a group).
Laman—Scholar, Doctor or anyone learned.
Lamiri—Student.
Rasho—Military leader, particularly calvary.
Rashan—Soldier.
Vunan—Common man.
Vuran—Common woman.
Shir—Animal; derogatory when used to address a human being.
Characters appearing in Arc Three
Alidas –Captain for the Bousim in Nurjima; partly crippled.
Desh’oun–The house steward in the Lisam Palace.
Saimura–Jath’ibaye’s house steward in Nurjima.
Esh’illan Anyyd–A young gaunan alied with Ourath.
Fensal–A Lisam runner.
Fikiri Bousim–An ushiri from the fallen Payshmura Faith.
Ji Shir’korud–Dog demon; called Jath’ibaye’s bitch by some gaun’im.
Jath’ibaye–Leader of the new Fai’daum kingdom.
Joulen Bousim–Bousim heir after Nanvess. Currently serving military duty in the northmost Bousim holdings.
Kahlil–Kyle’insira also called Kyle.
Mosh’sira’in’Bousim–Gaunsho Bousim; aged and weak ruler.
Nanvess Bousim–A gaunan; named the Bousim heir for political reasons.
Nivoun Bousim–Nanvess’ father; highly ambitious for his son.
Ourath Lisam–Gaunsho Lisam.
Parfir–God of the banned Payshmura Church, his worship is now forbidden.
Yu’mir–A servant woman in Lisam Palace.
Characters appearing in Arc Four
Ashan’ahma – An ushiri studying at Rathal’pesha.
Alidas–A rider for the Bousim family; partly crippled.
Amha’in’Bousim–Lady Bousim, 3rd wife, exiled to the north.
Bati’kohl–A servant of Lady Bousim; brother of Ohbi.
Bill–Called Behr in Basawar.
Dayyid–Second ushman at Rathal’pesha.
Fikiri Bousim–An ushiri candidate: son of Lady Bousim.
Hann’yu–An ushman exiled to the north: specializes in healing
Inholima–A spy in Lady Bousim’s household.
Issusha’im–The Payshmura oracles.
Ji Shir’korud–Dog demon; one of the Fai’daum.
John–Jahn
Laurie–Called Loshai in Basawar.
Mosh’sira’in’Bousim– Gaunsho Bousim.
Mou’pin–A rider under Pivan.
Nuritam–The ushman at Rathal’pesha.
Ohbi–A loyal servant to Lady Bousim.
Parfir–The earth god.
Pivan–The second in command of the Bousim rashan’im.
Rifter–The destroyer incarnation of Parfir.
Ravishan–The most promising of the ushiri at Rathal’pesha.
Rousma–Ravishan’s sister.
Sabir–The leader of Fai’daum.
Saimura–Ji’s son.
Samsango–An elderly priest at Rathal’pesha.
Serahn–Powerful Ushman in the Black Tower of Nurjima.
Tashtu–Pivan’s commander.
Wah’roa–Leader of the kahlirash’im at Vundomu.
Common Words and Terms
and ---------------iff
animal / it --------shir
asshole -----------wahbai
bark (tree) --------istana
bee (honey) ------behr
best ---------------sho
black -------------yasi
blonde hide ------jahn
blood -------------usha
blue -------------- holima
bone -------------sumah
bones (holy) ------issusha
book --------------lam
brothers ----------ashan
but / however ----hel
chasm ------------kubo
city ---------------tamur
cold --------------polima
dead --------------maht
deer (mount) ---- tahldi
delicious ---------mosh
dog (tame) -------kohl
dog (wild)/wolf -- sabir
exhausted --------renma
fast (speed) -------sam
fire --------------- daru
food ------- ------nabi (grain)
friend ------------pashim
from / of ---------in
fuck --------------faud
goat --------------fik
good / pretty ----domu
grain plant -------taye
green -------------ibaye
harm -------------ratim
hawk -------------alidas
hill ---------------rousma
holy --------------ushmana
hot ---------------niru
how / because ---ahab
idiot --------------bai
joy ----------------amha
key ----------------hala
key, death-lock ---maht’tu hala
knife --------------halaun
lazy ---------------pom
little / diminutive ---iri
lock ------------------tu
lost ------------------gasm’ah
love -----------------mohim
man/ male --------- vun
meadow ------------pivan
meat ----------------nabi’usha
medicinal tree ------yasistana
monastery ----------ushmura
money --------------jiusha
no -------------
------iss
noble ---------------gaun
none ----------------illin
orchard -------------umbhra
peace ---------------tumah
place ----------------amura
quiet ----------------itam
rain -----------------parh
red ------------------daum
river ----------------fai
road ----------------nur
run -----------------sango
sacred books ------- ushmana’lam
sacred drink --------fathi
same ----------------kin
shit -----------------jid
similar --------------ro
sky ------------------loshai
snow ----------------pelima
solitary -------------jath
speak ---------------vass
spill -----------------ra
spoil ----------------lafi
still ----------------- tash
stop -----------------nahara
strike ---------------bish
terrible -------------tehji
time / year-----------ayal
to be lost --------- --gasmya
to drink ------------siraya
to eat ----------------nabiya
to harm -------------ratimya
to kill ---------------rashiya
tree (fruit) ----------isma
tree bark ------------istana
ugly/ bad ----------mulhi
unholy /unclean --korud
water/drink --------sira
weasel -------------ganal
what ---------------bati
when --------------bayal
where -------------bamura
white --------------pesha
who ---------------ban
why ---------------bahab
wine --------------- vishan
witch --------------tahjid
woman/ female ---vur
yellow /gold--------jima/ ji
yes -----------------du
Pronouns
he him -----------vun
his -----------------vun’um
they(all male) -----vun’im
she/her ------------vur
hers ----------------vur’um
they (all female) ---vur’im
they(mixed) ------ pun’im
theirs --------------pun’um
I/me ---------------li
mine ---------------li’um