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    Now and Then

    Page 4
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      Now some folks may call me a radical

      or remind me that at best I’m not practical

      to keep pointing out what everyone should know

      but we’re still looking for justice

      while other folks devise ways to bust us

      so we spend more time in court than McEnroe

      Because when the time for freedom came

      folks started feeling only the surface had changed

      instead of celebrating ‘Free at last!’

      ’Cause all the racists had said ‘Okay’

      because equality can work both ways

      and they promptly started kicking poor white folk’s ass

      How can the issue be race

      when every citizen can take his or her case

      and be heard by a jury of their peers?

      meanwhile I’m listening to the rundown

      about four young brothers who was gunned down

      by some psycho with imaginary fears

      When you get down to the real nitty-gritty

      you’re on a subway in New York City

      and Bernhard, the gunman, shows upon the set

      and he decides these four young Blacks

      are about to launch an attack

      though they hadn’t attacked nobody yet

      Regardless, Bernie makes his play

      and he’s like Eastwood saying ‘Make my fuckin’ day!’ and

      in self-defense he even shoots someone wounded on the floor.

      then he confesses on video tape,

      but since he was in an ‘agitated state’

      he’s acquitted and let out to shoot some more

      Now does this mean every sister and brother

      Mexican, Indian, Oriental or other

      won’t ever see homicide put them behind bars?

      Because it legitimately terrifies me

      to know that the next sumbitch I see

      might be armed and just as crazy as Bernhard

      Or is this proof that the system works

      or are we all being treated like jerks?

      Take your chance and step right up to place your bets

      and I’m gonna put my money down

      saying if it’s ever the other way around

      we’ll find out that what you see ain’t what you Goetz

      THOUGHT OUT

      we just thought it was a drink,

      but maybe had there been more time to think …

      a cognac on the rocks and a glass of white wine

      crowd thinning out cause it’s near closing time

      laughs, cigarette smoke, an adult’s playroom

      where foreplay for players who like adult freedom

      and dimly dark lowlight sparks …

      we just thought it was different

      like a pleasant surprise

      and maybe we wouldn’t have said so much as ‘hello’

      had we looked around into other folks’ eyes

      we just thought it was cool

      but not the rigid, frigid,

      frozen, not-chosen

      petrified, paralyzed

      ossified ostracized

      put out to pasture is the ultimate disaster

      we just thought it was a glance

      almost something thought to yourself

      a second look, a double give and take

      a ‘very nice, my lady’ and/or

      an appraisal of the up-closer, ‘hmm’

      we thought it was a change of pace

      an hour away, a quiet someplace

      just to talk, walk, speak, peek

      see behind that sudden jolt,

      an electric unexpected volts

      probably nothing but might be fun

      if not, nobody lost nobody won

      but much more suddenly than all at once,

      an unexpected cloud that blocks the sun

      and before we heard the starter’s gun

      too soon to know it was too late to run

      we thought it was no big deal

      we thought it had an ugly feel

      a curious, furious over reaction

      that there would be no end to the distractions

      unless we gave up

      and said we’d had enough

      and we had thought it was ours.

      GIVE HER A CALL

      My life is one of movement

      I been running as fast as I can

      I’ve inherited trial and error directly from my old man

      But I’m committed to the consequences

      Whether I stand or fall

      And when I get back to my life

      I think I’m gonna give her a call

      She’s been waiting patiently

      For me to get myself together

      And it touched something deep inside

      When she said she’d wait forever

      Because forever’s right up on me now

      That is, if it ever comes at all

      And when I get back to my life

      I think I’m gonna give her a call

      She didn’t know, she could hardly believe

      How much she means to me

      She wouldn’t know, she could scarcely understand

      Why I cling so desperately to dreams

      ’Cause she’s calmed me in the evening

      She’s calmed me in the night

      She’s calmed my fear of dreaming

      And maybe my fear of life

      My life’s been one of running away

      Just as fast as I can

      But I’ve been no more successful at getting away

      Than was my old man

      But if you come to recognize the truth

      And understand that the truth is really all

      That when I get back to my life

      I think I’m gonna give her a call

      LADY'S SONG

      To say any words you ain’t feeling

      Don’t seem to be what she needs

      She’s been hurt a lot and put down a lot

      But she don’t really need your sympathy

      ’Cause her touch is soft and her eyes are smiling

      Though small-time people try and put her down.

      She ain’t done nobody wrong

      The love she has is gonna keep her strong

      (It seems like) long after love has abandoned you and me

      You might see her running to work in the morning

      Remember there’s a whole lot on her mind

      If you’ve got nothing to say

      Why not let her go on her way

      ’Cause brother, everybody just ain’t got the time

      THE ‘GOLDFINGER’ AFFAIR

      The artist lucked into a couple of good seats

      And told a girl he’d walked around with for a week.

      And when she spoke up saying that she’d like to go

      It was like being nominated for his own double-O.

      Because no exaggeration let’s just say she was ‘impressive’

      And taking her out would be considered thoroughly ‘progressive’.

      She needed someone who knew karate

      And called a ‘Scott’ from Scotland Yard.

      And if you were into guarding bodies

      She had a body you would love to guard.

      Keep all the freaks and creeps out of her hair.

      A holiday weekend knight in the middle of Times Square

      And he put the ‘lean’ inside of ‘clean’

      And took the ‘cool’ letters out of ‘school’

      And the last thing that he would ever dream

      Was being set up and treated like a fool.

      No! ‘Set up’ implies conspiracy,

      A deliberately crooked deal

      But you didn’t need X-ray vision to see

      That her family’s shock was real.

      No they weren’t surprised that he was black

      Or forgotten that they were white

      This wasn’t a formal marriage proposal

      So that wasn’t the issue that night.


      The doorman walked him through the lobby to the back

      But he was too fuckin’ excited to even notice that

      But riding up the shaft, it smelled a bit ripe in the elevator

      Floor slippery, a helluva draft, that all came to him later.

      The pulleys was whining and bitching

      The whole box was bumping and pitching

      He was about to ask the pilot about ditching

      When the door opened and he was standing in the kitchen

      The family ‘recovered’ it up like it happened all the time

      The smiles were so bright the Artist damn near went blind

      His face was on fire and he was relieved to be a brother

      His red-faced embarrassment couldn’t be ‘read’ by the others.

      He was stammering as he met the adults

      His heart was hammering as he examined the doorman’s insult

      He feels like he’s made of plaster frozen there before- hand

      He conceals that his mind is on the bastard, the motherfuckin’ doorman,

      He pictures the broad-shouldered man, his tacky uniform sagging

      Inside the basement cave with the maintenance crew

      This sonofabitch is bragging

      ‘Some nigger,’ he spits. ‘Goin’ upstairs to date her

      So I take him up there in the service elevator!’

      The janitor and the elevator man laughed till they cry

      Thinking about how their colleague just embarrassed some guy.

      The Artist wanted to explain that their plans for the night

      Were no longer in effect

      He wanted to complain that he wasn’t feeling right

      And had a terrible pain in the neck

      Apologize quickly and not linger

      Advise them to ‘Call 9–1–1 fast’,

      Leave them the tickets, they could go to ‘Goldfinger’

      He would go back downstairs to kick some ass!

      Yeah! For two years he had hung out with the preps

      But he came from ‘little San Juan’

      And down there he’d once had a pretty decent rep

      And an insult justified ‘gettin’ it on’.

      But doesn’t it happen like that all the time

      Brothers ending up on their way to the joint

      If they don’t damage your body they fuck with your mind

      And you never reach no terminal point

      It’s not the one insult.

      It’s not the word ‘nigger!’

      And each day is a little more difficult

      Holding back the rage leaves you terribly bitter

      And this was one the Artist managed to resist

      Flexing his fingers, not letting them roll up into a fist

      Because that would have hurt his Mom and everybody else

      So he took the girl to James Bond and was humiliated by himself.

      THE OLDEST REASON IN THE WORLD

      … because i always feel like running. not away,

      … because there’s no such place

      …. because if there was

      i would have found it by now

      … because it’s easier to run; easier than staying

      and finding out you’re the only one who didn’t run

      … because running will be the way your life and mine

      will be described:

      as in the long run or

      as in having given someone a run for his money or

      as in running out of time

      … because running makes me look like everyone else

      though i hope there will never

      be cause for that

      … because i will be running in the other direction:

      not running for cover;

      … because if i knew where cover was

      i would stay there and never have to run for it.

      not running for my life

      … because i have to be running

      for something of more value to be running

      and not in fear;

      … because the thing i fear cannot be

      escaped, eluded, avoided,

      hidden from, protected from, gotten away from,

      not without showing the fear

      as i see it now

      … because closer, clearer/no sir nearer

      … because of you, and

      … because of the nice that you quietly, quickly be causing and

      … because you’re going to see me run soon, and

      … because you’re going to know why i’m running. then.

      you’ll know then

      … because i’m not going to tell you now.

      IS THAT JAZZ?

      Basie was never really commonplace

      He was always measures ahead.

      Ellington was more than number one

      For the music and things that he said.

      Bird was the word back when tenors were heard

      From Kansas right up to the Prez

      And Billie was really the Queen of a scene

      That keeps echoing on in my head.

      What it has will surely last but is that Jazz?

      Miles had a style that amazes and raises

      The spirits from deep in your soul.

      ’Trane struck a vein of laughter and pain

      Adventures the mind could explore.

      Stevie and Bob talk of freedom and ‘jam’

      In their own individual ways.

      Playing and singing as long as its bringing

      A message in all that it says.

      What it has will surely last but is that Jazz?

      We overanalyse we let others define

      A thousand precious feelings from our past.

      When we express love and tenderness

      Is that Jazz? Is that Jazz? Is that Jazz? Is that Jazz?

      Dizzy’s been busy while Grover gets us over

      With notes that go straight to the heart.

      Brother Ron gets it on with a baseline so strong

      That the sounds seem to grow in the dark.

      I take pride in what’s mine – is that really a crime –

      When you know I ain’t got nothing else?

      Only millions of sounds pick me up when I’m down;

      Let me salvage a piece of myself.

      What it has will surely last but is that Jazz?

      LADY DAY AND JOHN COLTRANE

      Ever feel kinda down and out and don’t know

      just what to do?

      Livin’ alla your days in darkness, let the sun shine

      through.

      Ever feel that somehow, somewhere you lost

      your way?

      And if you don’t get help you won’t make it

      through the day.

      You could call on Lady Day!

      You could call on John Coltrane!

      They’ll wash your troubles, your troubles away.

      Plastic people with plastic minds on their way to

      plastic homes.

      There’s no beginning, there ain’t no ending

      just on and on and on and on and …

      It’s all because we’re so afraid to say that we’re

      alone

      until our hero rides in, rides in on his

      saxophone.

      You could call on Lady Day!

      You could call on John Coltrane!

      They’ll wash your troubles, your troubles away.

      Free will is free mind. Free to evaluate the systems that control our lives from without and free to examine the emotions that control our perspective from within.

      Black people everywhere are becoming aware of the gaps that exist between the ‘American’ values and the values of our spirits. The nature of our spirits demand a lifestyle apart from the American life speed – a lifestyle that accents life and not death, love and not hate.

      We have things to do for tomorrow. Our children will have to deal with all the mistakes we make today. To live in dignity they will have to erase many of the peronsal compromises we made.
    We must actively search out the truth and help each other.

      We do not need more legislation or more liberals. What we need is self-love and self-respect. By every means necessary!

      Unfortunately, it is not easy to lvoe yourself after you heard hatred and self-destruction in every city. We must make the extra effort needed to identify the true enemies of our peace of mind.

      We can begin by realizing that though we are trapped by economic and geographical boundaries. we are still capable of spiritual freedom supported by the truth.

      What we do with the truth is the key to our freedom.

      Notes from Reflection on Free Will (15/5/72)

      ‘ … words are important for the mind/notes are for the soul.’ (from ‘Plastic Pattern People,’ 11/67)

      PLASTIC PATTERN PEOPLE

      glad to get high and see the slow motion world,

      just to reach and touch the half-notes floating.

      world spinning quicker than 9/8 Dave Brubeck. we

      come now frantically searching for Thomas

      More rainbow villages.

      up on suddenly Charlie Mingus and Ahmed

      Abdul-Malik

      to add bass to a bottomless pit of insecurity. you

      may be plastic because

      you never meditate about the bottom of glasses,

      the third side of your universe.

      add on

      Alice Coltrane and her cosmic strains, still no

      vocal

      on blue-black horizons your plasticity is tested

      by a formless assault: THE SUN can answer

      questions

      in tune to sacrificial silence but why will our

      new jazz age give us no more expanding puzzles?

      (Enter John) blow from under always and

      never so that,

      the morning may shout of brain-

      bending saxophones.

      the third world arrives with Yusef Lateef

      and

      Pharoah Sanders with oboes straining to touch the

      core of your unknown soul.

     


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