Th
e best thing you’ll eat!
Eat and eat until
you’re fat.
And you will be a
happy rat!
”
whiskers. But I was tired and hungry, and
not feeling very polite. And so I’ll tell you
that he was a very fat sewer rat with a filthy
smelly apron and greasy whiskers. Not at all
the kind of rat a mouse of refined taste likes
to see in a kitchen!
The cook was
humming
a tune while
he stirred the pot:
The
cook saw me and beckoned me closer.
Now I could see a cloud of tiny bugs flying
around his head.
He held out a spoon. “Do me a favor and
taste this,” he said.
I was so hungry, I slurped the stew right
from the spoon.
“Very good,” I said, licking my whiskers.
“In fact, it’s excellent!
"The cook grinned.“ Nobody makes
stew like mine. It’s the best around!”
He grabbed a bowl and filled it to the
brim for me. I grabbed it eagerly. Maybe this
trip wasn’t so bad after all, I thought. The
40
delicious stew made up for
all o
f the horrible things I
had f
ound so far.
“The ste
w is quite
wonde
rful,”
I sai
d. “Would
you m
ind telling me what’s
in it?”
“Of c
ourse not,” the
cook
said,
beaming. “Let’s
see. The
re is earthworm
liver
. . .
leec
h
lard . . .
black
scorpion claws
. . .
wasp sting ers
. . .
bat thighs
. . .
crushed
red termites
. . .
shark fin
s
. . .
piranha teeth
. . .
iguana claws
. . .
viper venom
. . .
snake
spleen
. . .
plus a little salt and pepper!”
My stomach lurched. “
What
?”
The cook smiled. He grabbed a cockroach
crawling across the stove. Then he tossed it
into the stew.
“How do you think my stew got so good?”
Chef Stewrat’
s great-
great-great-great-great
grandfather!
41
he as
ked. “It is because I keep adding
surpr
ise ingredients!”
I wat
ched in horror as he took off one of
his
S MELLY
sock
s and threw it into
the s
tew. “Just a little bitof flavor,” he said.
“Don’
t want to overdo it.” He pulled out
the s
ock. “I will tell you a secret,” he
whispere
d.
“This
stew has been simmering
in th
is pot for the last five hundred years!
I inherited it from my great-great-great-
great-
great
grandfather!”
I felt betrayed. I felt sick. I felt dizzy.
“I want to go
HOME
!
” I wailed.
Jus
t then, a loud female voice rang
throu
gh
the k
itchen.
“
Chef
Stewrat!
”
The cook turned around. His eyes gleamed
with excitement. “
Madame Lat
omb!
”
he cried.
SING FOR ME,
M
Y LITTLE
WERE-CANARY!
A very strange mouse entered the kitchen.
She wore an old-fashioned dress trimmed
with lace. A bat-shaped necklace hung around
her neck. She had a huge pile of white hair
on top of her head. When she got closer, I
noticed she had a strange
odor
— like
dead flowers.
about Madame Latomb. I swore I heard a
growl when she came in. Grrrrrrrrrr. But I
could not tell where the sound was coming
from!
Madame Latomb smiled at the cook.
she said.
“
C
h
e
f
S
t
e
w
r
a
t
,
I
n
e
e
d
t
o
d
a
y
’
s
m
e
n
u
,
”
MA
DAME LATOMB
Who Is She? The housekeeper of the Cacklefur
family. She plays the violin and collects dolls. Her
hairstyle hides her ferocious were-canary. It’s like a
werewolf, but it’s a canary -- and a lot scarier when
the moon is full!
Her Secret: She is in love with Professor
Frankenstein!
44
“Of course,
Madame Lat
omb
,” said
the cook in a sweet voice. “You do look
lovely today. Here is the menu.”
“Thank you, Chef,” Madame Latomb s
aid.
She turned and left the kitchen. And as she
walked away, she sang a strange little song.
As she sang, I saw a little yellow bird pop
out of Madame Latomb’s
hair! The bird
looked at me and growled.
I shivered. I didn’
t know what a
were-
ca
nary
was. But I was sure it wasn’
t nice!
“
S
i
n
g
f
o
r
m
e
,
m
y
d
e
a
r
i
e
.
S
i
n
g
f
o
r
m
e
,
m
y
l
i
t
t
l
e
w
e
r
e
-
c
a
n
a
r
y
!
”
45
YOU’RE LOOKING SO
PALE, SHIVEREEN!
I left the kitchen, rubbing my
grumbling
belly
. Somehow, I had to fi nd a way out of
Cacklefur Castle. I opened the first door I
could find
and stepped inside.
I found myself in an enormouse hall filled
with strange-looking rodents. I looked down
at my paws. The marble flo
or was lizard
green. I looked up. Candlelight cast ghostly
shadows on the walls.
I felt a paw on my shoulder and
squeaked
in surprise. It was
CREEPEL
LA
!
“Hello, my little zombie-wombie,” she
said, stroking my whiskers. “How do you
like the castle?”
“
I want to go HOME!
”
I cried.
46
Creepella ignored me. She grabbed my
paw and dragged me into the hall.
“I’m going to introduce you to the family,
Geronimo,” she said. “Please don’t embarrass
me.”
Befor
e I could reply, a teenage mouse ran
up to
us. She looked like a
smaller
vers
ion
of
Creepe
lla. She had the same shiny
gray fur
, and she seemed very fond of the
color
purple. She wore a purple shirt and
jea
ns. She carried a bat-shaped purse. And
perch
ed on top of her shoulder was a real
live
chameleon
!
“Hello,
Auntie
,” the little mouse said.
“How nice to see you!”
Creepella hugged her. “
Shivereen
, you
look pale! How lovely!”
“Thanks,” answered Shivereen. “I love
your dress. It’s so . . .
mysteriou
s
.”
SHIVEREEN
Who Is She? She is Creepella’s favorite niece.
She copies Creepella in every way. She has a pet
chameleon named Moldy. She dreams of working
in the world of fashion.
Her Secret: She keeps a diary hidden under her
mattress.
48
Creepella pushed me forward. “Shivereen,
I’d like you meet Geronimo Stilton. We are
going to be
married
!
”
“That
’s not exactly - ” I began. But
Shivereen interrupted me.
“When is the
wedding?
” she squeaked.
“
NEVER
!
” I screamed. Enough was
enough!
“Don’
t listen to Geronimo,” Creepella said,
takin
g her niece’s arm. “He’s just a littletired
from our
trip. Now tell me, do you have a
mouse
friend yet?”
The two mice walked away, chattering.
I looked around the hall, hoping to find a
friendly face — o
r a way to escape.
I saw something that might help. An
old-
fashioned
phone hung on the wall. I crept
over to it, as quiet as a mouse, and quickly
dialed my sister, Thea.
“Hello, Thea,” I whispered. “It’
s me, Geronimo. I’ve
been mousenapp — ”
Suddenly, the telephone began to scream!
“Put down the phone, cheddarface! No
phone calls allowed! No phone calls
allowed!”
Creepella ran over and hung up the
phone. “Well done, Telephone,” she told
the phone. “Geronimo was being very
naughty. Very naughty indeed.”
“I want to go HOME!”
I wailed.
The mice in the
hall all looked at
me.
“That Geronimo
Stilton is a strange
mouse,” they
whispered.
P
U
T
D
O
W
N
T
H
E
P
H
O
N
E
,
C
H
E
D
D
A
R
F
A
C
E
!
50
SNIP AND SNAP,
THE SPOOKY TWINS
Boneham walked into the hall, carrying
a gong. He put earplugs in his ears. Then
he struck the gong with a mallet. The loud
sound rang through the hall.
I held my ears and followed everyone into
the dining hall. Chef Stewrat was wheeling
in a tray with the stew pot.
“Stew is ready!” he cried. “
Come and
get it!
”
My st
omach lurched at the thought of
more ste
w. As everyone scrambled for a seat
at th
e long dining table, I saw my chance.
I quic
kly ducked under the table.
Unfor
tunately, I wasn’t alone. I found
G
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
n
g
!
SNIP AND SN
AP
Who Are They? These twins are very smart and very
good with computers. They are exactly alike, perfectly
mean, and truly annoying!
Their Secret: They own a collection of tricks that
they use to scare guests staying at Cacklefur Castle!
mysel
f staring at two young mice who
looked exactly alike! At first, they did not
look like the other Cacklefurs. They both
had very neat hair and very normal-looking
clothes. But they each had a wicked gleam
in their eyes.
I suddenly heard Creepella shout, “I just
looked out the window. Who painted fl owers
on my hearse? If I catch him, I’ll tear his
whiskers out one by one!”
said Madame Latomb.
Beside me, the twin mice began to giggle.
“
I
t
m
u
s
t
h
a
v
e
b
e
e
n
S
n
i
p
a
n
d
S
n
a
p
!
”
53
KAFKA, THE
FAITHFUL
COCKROACH
Before I could question the boys, I felt
something lick my ankle! Then I heard a
bark. “
Arf!
”
“Kafka has sniffed out something!”
shrieked Creepella.
I turned around and looked at my ankle. A
huge cockroach sat there! It was sitting on
its hind legs and barking like a dog. “
Arf!
Arf! Arf!
”
“Quiet!” I hissed.
But it was too late. Madame Latomb lifted
the tablecloth. “
Come o
n out, you
little scoundrels!
” she commanded.
Snip and Snap crawled out from under the
A
r
f
A
r
f
A
r
f
table. I had no choice but to follow them.
Creepella shrieked. “My hearse used to be
so gloomy! And now it looks cheerful!”
“
He did it!
” said Snip, pointing to
Snap.
“
He did it!
” said Snap, pointing to
Snip.
The boys looked at each other. Then they
pointed at me! “No, he did it!” they squeaked.
“I did not !” I protested.
Creepella batted her green eyes. “Naughty
boy, Geronimo. Y
ou must give me a
kiss
,
and I’ll forgive you.”
Before I could protest, she puckered up
her snout and kissed me!
KAFKA
THE
COCKROACH
K
A
F
K
A
KAFKA’S
HOUSE
Who Is He? The much-loved pet cockroach of the
Cacklefur family. His cockroach house is in the
courtyard, but he loves to sleep in Shivereen’s bed.
She takes him for a walk every morning.
His Secret: He can’t get enough Cockroach Crunchies!
56
THE JOKING GHOST
Everyone sat down at the table. But the
moment my bottom touched the seat, there
was a loud, embarrassing noise.
P f f f f f f f f f ffft!
“Excuse me,” I said, turning bright red. “I
didn't mean --
Then I realized what had happened.
Someone had put a whoopee cushion on my
chair! “Who put this here?” I shrieked.
“It wasn’
t
us
this time!” said Snip and
Snap.