How to be an Alien first published by André Deutsch 1946
Published in Penguin Books 1966
Copyright © George Mikes and Nicolas Bentley, 1946
How to be Inimitable first published by André Deutsch 1960
Published in Penguin Books 1966
Copyright © George Mikes and Nicolas Bentley, 1960
How to be Decadent first published by André Deutsch 1977
Published in Penguin Books 1981
Copyright © George Mikes, 1977
Published in one volume as How to be a Brit by André Deutsch 1984
Published in Penguin Books 1986
Reissued in this edition 2015
Copyright © George Mikes, 1984
* When people say England, they sometimes mean Great Britain, sometimes the United Kingdom, sometimes the British Isles – but never England.
* Please note my extensive knowledge of the American language.
* While this book was at the printers a correspondence in The Times showed that the English have almost sixty synonyms for ‘street’. If you add to these the street names which stand alone (Piccadilly, Strand, etc.) and the accepted and frequently used double names (‘Garden Terrace’, ‘Church Street’, ‘Park Road’, etc.) the number of street names reaches or exceeds a hundred. It has been suggested by one correspondent that this clearly proves what wonderful imagination the English have. I believe it proves the contrary. A West End street in London is not called ‘Haymarket’ because the playful fancy of Londoners populates the district with romantically clad medieval food dealers, but simply because they have not noticed as yet that the hay trade has considerably declined between Piccadilly and Pall Mall in the last three hundred years.
* This is a euphemism for bloody – a word you should never use.
* Shakespeare and Myself, George Mikes. Drawings by David Langdon. André Deutsch, 8s 6d. Order your copy now.
* How to be an Alien, by George Mikes. Nicolas Bentley drew the pictures. André Deutsch, 7s 6d. Available at all better-class bookshops. Order two copies now.
* As you can tell the way I said above ‘we haven’t done too badly’ instead of ‘we have been hugely successful’.