I took him home to his woman.
She was small and harried.
She wore a dressing gown
out into the night.
The door of their house
slammed shut behind her and locked.
She gave a sad little cry,
like a bird,
“Oh no. Oh no.”
Faraway,
(0869)
on a cold little nugget of a world.
0851
Z
P 5.31
S 7.32
Cl 3.92
Ar .407
K 4.22
Ca 6.01
Sc 2.982
Ti 4.8113
V 4.27
Cr 5
Mn 5.102
Fe 10.372
Co 1.089
Ni 5.808
0877
Control
What is going on?
Look at the count for iron!
Z, your pardon please.
For this log S =
12.00 for hydrogen?
0888
Z
Yes, Control, as stated.
0890
Control
Extraordinary.
(0894)
Continue, Z.
0871
B
Old doors open.
I remember pain,
how it leapt
from the body to the soul
and wounded it.
I remember handshakes,
touching,
the scrape of skin on skin.
I remember speech,
lungs forcing out words
that were lost or misconstrued;
hills;
muscles that ached and needed feeding;
food!
How the throat would gather it
and push it down in lumps,
how it merged with me
as I swallowed it.
I remember weight
pinning me to a chair,
holding my body to the ground.
That body
that could not fly.
That body that would betray me
and die.
Limitations, limitations!
cutting into my soul.
Things I could not do.
Things I could not prevent.
Living as I slowly died,
body and mind
exchanging hope and poison.
I don’t want to remember!
I want to forget!
Forget Humanity and being human.
If I could forget, I would be free!
Then I would slip
into the warm whiteness of subspace
and be reborn
(0906)
in galaxies beyond their grasp!
0894
Z
Cu 4.5
Zn 3.5
Ga 2.73
Ge 2.509
Rb 2.55
Sr 3.09
Y 3.245
Zr 2.71
Nb .006
Mo 2.43
Ru .04
Ag 8.77
Cd 1.02
In .07
Sn .004
(0912)
Sb .19
5/0911
B
Should I tell them?
It was nothing,
something small and silent
rooted round a sunsore like a mold.
Should I tell them
that I saw it?
Is it living?
Could they leave it growing
undisturbed?
Or would they conquer it and claim it,
make it theirs with understanding.
Can they hear me?
I know that.
If they can, they know already
where to find it.
They know I hate and fear them.
(0927)
And Zoe still counts.
0912
Z
Ba .009
La 2.65
Ce .82
Eu 1.13
0920
Control
Europium
On a sun?
Z
Tb .089
Ho .001
Yb .008
W .03
Os .45
(0932)
Au .37
0929
B
Aaaah!
Something moved!
I felt it!
Zoe! Zoe!
0936
Z
Bee!
I count!
0940
B
Zoe!
Something’s moving! Something is alive.
0946
Z
Where are you?
What coordinate?
0946
The Alien
Shiftpoint.
0948
B
What?
0950
Z
Where are you?
0951
The Alien
Shiftpoint there!
0953
B
It thinks!
It thinks!
0955
The Alien
Otherself!
0956
B
Zoe! Zoe!
Come here, it thinks, it’s alive!
0958
Control
What does he mean, Z?
0959
Z
What coordinate, Bee?
Bee, what coordinate?
0960
The Alien
Ticklethoughts!
Leapsniff
Snuffletaste!
0963
B
I can see it!
0965
Control
Please repeat, Angels.
We cannot follow.
Angels, repeat, please!
0966
The Alien
Play!
from Remembrances of Bee
When we found them, it was nestled around Bee. It hung like a curtain in folds, folds of light, and it rippled as it swam. I thought for a moment it might hurt him. Then I felt it too. A probing, shy mind, so slowly, delicately nuzzling my own.
Then it leapt skittishly away, and danced and Bee followed. It gamboled and called us My Other Selves. It spun, and stopped, and its folds flowed on about it. It was dazzlingly beautiful.
We tried to tell it who we were. We showed it pictures, memories. It shivered in confusion and delight at the thought of lands beyond the sky. It eats nothing, but bums through itself, a filament.
For its gentleness and purity, Bee called it Dajja—the unicorn’s real name. He meant this as a warning and as a revenge.
On the star of Daphne, I learned the truth.
from the letters of Raul Kundara
Hola Mari,
Sad news, sad news. You were brave not to tell me that you were ill. But please, let me know next time. And do not run through too often. You know the limit. I am very glad that you are well now.
Bad news comes in threes, like dwarves. Senior Talsman has been sent home. I remember seeing his face the day before it happened. He sat at lunch, eyes staring, his lower lip hiding his upper. He looked like a child about to cry. I thought then how upset and unsteady he looked.
The next day in the kitchens, we heard the Senior shouting. “Why do you humiliate me?” he yelled at the Chief. Chief shouted back at him, “I don’t take orders from you! You are blind to Achilleans!” Chief was angry!
“The old bladder,” Chief called the Senior, later. “He hates Achilleans. You cannot see it, but I do.” Could that be true? Would a prejudiced man be placed as Senior? Chief made us all laugh at Senior Talsman, widened his eyes and quivered in imitation of him. “Tell them about our food throwing, and what he said,” Chief demanded of me. I do not like to make charges, but I think Chief pulled us all a
gainst Senior Talsman. Can two dutiful men, placed and certed, hate each other? I did mean to speak quietly with the Senior, but failed to. Now I must regret my lack of wisdom.
The same day Senior Talsman went in tears to Senior Thoroughgood and asked to be placed for Earth. We held a farewell dinner for him. It was a mistake. He looked weak and tired and ill with us. His blockmates cleared his room for him. I saw his things—holograms of Earth trayed for Sliding. Fields, running water, gentle forests. They looked very private and sad. Senior Talsman worked as a regular at the station for fifteen years. He goes home to nothing. Chief has been given his placing. There was no one else to do the job. Senior Stavakanda, he is called now.
You will remember Gareth, my young blockmate. His father has died after a long, helpless illness. I did not know he was ill, though others did. Gareth was called into the casting room. He appeared at my doorway a few moments later. He did not come in. “I will be gone many days,” he told me. Suddenly his face reddened and he gripped the bridge of his nose. “My father has just died.” His voice broke, and he ran. I called out my respects too late.
So Gareth is gone. We weren’t friends. He would come and talk to me when I didn’t want to talk. But now it seems he was trying to ease me into the life of the station. I must remember duty to people. There are so many duties.
Nothing else has happened. No word on my research. Keep well yourself. Let me know if you are ill again. I am sure I could arrange leave to see you, if you are. I will try to write and cast to you more often.
* * *
My respects to my Placer Robt, my chanter Bella, Nive and her ward Zal; Deo and Ri, Tam and you, and also, especially to Cila. Let her know I am well.
from the Hellespont Angelogs
Transcripts of 1363/21/9
Time
Recorded Material
7/4471
Control
Z,
we have lost them again.
4476
Z
He still plays with the alien.
Shall I throw what I hear to you?
4481
Control
No, thank you.
Please relay coordinates.
4486
Z
-13.7321X, + 3.224Y, -9.81Z
They are descending rapidly,
Control.
7/4500
Control
Thank you, Z.
We have them.
4500
The Alien
Feelrush
Rippleshock
4502
B
Rippleshock!
4503
The Alien
Rippleshock
Tumbleturn
Spinwhip
Brightburn
Crashroll
(4509)
Skyhaze-Shinebright
4506
Z
I feel sadness.
Bee has left me alone
and I am spying on him.
4510
Control
(More emotional problems.
What is awry
with them this counting?
We have no need of it,
(4520)
now of all times!)
4509
The Alien
Plungeroar!
4510
B
Plungeroar!
4511
The Alien
Plungeroar-down!
4513
B
Down!
4514
The Alien
Downfar-Downdeep!
4514
Both together
Down!
4522
The Alien
Hah-hah!
Fardown Coolplace
Coolplace Clean!
Downdeep
Quietstorm
Waftsleep
Nameplace
Peacenames
(4531)
All the names of peace!
4533
Control
We do not understand, Z.
What is happening?
4538
Z
The alien names.
4540
Control
Names?
4542
Z
That is what it does.
It eats nothing. It
sleeps at times.
Otherwise, it names things.
It has few verb concepts.
Those it has translate
into forms of “to be”
or “to feel” or “to know.”
It thinks in great
passive chunks of noun.
4560
Control
Primitive.
4561
Z
I do not know.
What it says logs into language.
4565
Control
True, but we can also log
animals and even plants.
Gibbons think in great blasts
of emotion.
It is not so different from
(4574)
this.
4532
B
Peacenames!
All of them!
4534
The Alien
Stillpeace
Softpeace
Loudpeace
Proudpeace
Listenwatchpeace
Deafblindpeace
Lifepeace
Dreampeace
Sleeppeace
Wakepeace
Surepeace
Uncertainpeace
Laughpeace
Soarpeace
Weep-peace
Awepeace
—Awepeace, strong
see Firerage or chasm!—
Awepeace
Humblepeace
Settlepeace
Surrender
4558
B
Surrender? To what?
4560
The Alien
Awe!
Life!
like Lifepeace,
like my surrender
to the red,
to the thinning.
4566
B
And conflict?
4568
The Alien
Conflict-peace!
4570
B
Conflictpeace?
4572
The Alien
Greatfire
Manyfaces
but one even so
Allpeace
Highpeace
All things me
I God
Me God
4580
B
What?
4581
Control
What? What did it say?
4584
Z
It called itself God.
4585
The Alien
All things me thing
Myself Otherself
Self love
Otherself love
Dajja!
4591
Control
We must interrupt.
We are getting nowhere!
4592
B
Dajja! You know your name!
4594
Z
Bee, my love…
4595
The Alien
Nextself!
4597
Control
B, this is Control.
7/4601
The Alien
Newvoice!
4604
Control
Excuse us.
We would like to ask the alien
a few questions.
4606
B
Proof of intelligence.
He’s listening to us.
He knows his name!
4608
The Alien
Hello Newvoice
Hello Nextself!
Hello!
Hello!
4613
Control
Hello.
4615
The Alien
Hello!
4617
Control
Hello.
4617
B
I think you’ll have to stop saying hello.
4620
Control
Dajja?
You called yourself God.
What did you mean by that?