“We need to talk.”
Nothing good had ever come from those four words. I nodded, a stupid thing to do in the dark, but I didn’t trust my voice. He must have taken my silence for an assent because his warm hand closed around mine and he pulled me from the bed. At his touch, the last of the icy fear was chased away and the dream gone. We shuffled in silence across the room and into the bathroom. The light remained off and I could feel the heat from his body radiating in the tiny space. When had I gotten so comfortable with his company?
“Can you ward the room?” His voice was quiet and low.
“Okay.” I tried and failed to disguise the tremor in my voice. He passed me a knife and I nicked my finger. I drew the rune for silence on the bathroom floor. It would be easy enough to clean up. I gave Luka a nod when the rune settled over us.
“We need to discover how they are funding the movement. They can’t operate without money. It’s the easiest way to dismantle them.”
It shocked me to hear him speak about taking down the rebellion after so long without mentioning it. I could have almost forgotten about our oath.
“The Elect will kill you. You’ve agreed to this.”
I knew what the Elect was capable of first-hand. They had given me recurrent nightmares as a parting gift the last time we had met. I wiped at my bare feet, half expecting to see them covered in blood once again. Luka was right, this was the oath. This was the price for my freedom and I had agreed to pay it.
Incarceration is a fate worse than death. My mother’s phrase ran through my head like a mantra.
“I can speak to Loral, see if he’ll tell me anything. He doesn’t suspect me.”
Because who expects their best friend to stab them in the back?
“Once we stop the money, we cut the snake’s head off. They won’t recover.”
I recoiled in horror. My back hit the cold wall, “You mean Joshua?” I whispered, barely hiding my disgust.
“He’s the leader, the only one who knows how and where each cell is operating. Valerie told me all the orders come directly from him. Only Judas and Loral know the actual location of this compound. Everyone else arrived blindfolded. It’s the same for the other safe houses. No one knows where they are except for one or two in the cell. If we take him out, the rebellion would be too displaced to pose a threat to the Elect. They won’t kill them. You’d be free, Rina.”
I tried to convince myself that I was too moral for murder, that the price of my freedom was too high. But the truth was, I had done much worse for less. My time spent in Dunlap was testimony to that. Every moment in my life where I had to choose between myself or another, the choice was never close. I had never faltered in my decision to save my own life. This wouldn’t be different. It was how I had survived.
I agreed to his plan quickly, before rushing from the now claustrophobic bathroom and dashing under the covers. My emotions had been stuffed down for too long. The brittle barrier had finally cracked and guilt had welled up between the fissures and flooded my conscious. My reality was all too clear. My life had been spent killing, lying and cheating; never had I spared more than a thought for another. Snippets of my life whirled behind my eyes making me gag.
I was revolting. I was worse than the Hunter. It didn’t matter. I couldn’t change now.
“Loral will understand.”
That was the blackest of the guilt that had coated my insides. Tears wet my cheeks and I brushed them away before Luka could see. Loral wouldn’t blame me. He wouldn’t even be angry at me. Luka’s weight shifted on the mattress as he sat down beside me. He let out an unsteady breath.
“When I was a child I hated Magic class. I use to sneak out and take a boat to this small lake behind the school. One morning I took a friend with me and we rowed out into the centre. We hadn’t been there more than ten minutes when it started to sink. We had to swim to shore. I turned back up at school sopping wet and covered in mud. I couldn’t think of an explanation fast enough and they suspended me for a week.”
I could almost imagine a younger, more playful Luka covered in mud with a sour expression.
“My father was livid, the son of the Hunter skipping class to go daydream in a boat.” I turned over and faced him in the dark. He had never spoken openly to me about his life.
“Your father was the Hunter before you?” My voice was rough.
“Yes, he was my toughest teacher.”
“Was?”
“He died on the job.” His voice was tinged with sadness. “I sort of inherited the role. When my father passed, the Elect each put forth someone to take the trials. As the Hunter’s eldest son I was automatically put forth in his place. He had trained me for the position my whole life, honing my magical and physical ability. I passed the exams and destroyed my opponents. They were impressed with my savagery and immediately elected me, even though I wasn’t old enough to hold office.”
I had seen his viciousness first hand. He could be terrifying. Luka didn’t seem terrifying now. In fact I could taste his regret in the air. It was sour on the back of my tongue. I needed to submerge myself in his secrets and forget about mine.
“What happened?”
He paused, deliberating. The air seemed to grow heavy around us. “The trials go for a month. The first week is all intellectual challenges, test after test. It’s incredibly tedious. If you pass that round you move on to the next two challenges. The second week is to test your magical abilities. They push you to your limits, see how far you can stretch your power. I collapsed more times than I can count. I was certain I was behind in the rankings. The third and fourth week are against your fellow challengers. We have a target we need to hunt, the first to capture it wins. The challengers don’t usually go after one another, but...” He paused again. I could sense his hesitation, I knew where this story was headed.
“But?” I prompted him.
Had the man been a friend? He would have done anything to get what he wanted, no matter the cost. I could understand that. I didn’t like it.
“Valerie asked me about us.”
“Mmm?”
“She asked if we were bumping uglies.”
“I can’t imagine her asking that.”
“Well, not in those words.”
“What did you say?”
“I told her the truth.”
“I hope not the whole truth.”
I bit at my bottom lip. “No.”
“Goodnight.” I could feel his weight shift before he pressed his warm lips to my forehead. The small, unexpected gesture caused my Magic to escape its confines. The black smoke billowed out from me; suffocating the room. His sharp intake of breath gave me enough control so I could quickly reel it back in. I was worse than a teenage boy.
The necklace was getting less and less effective. Before I had met Luka, I had never had such issues with control. My power used to be dormant. It had been a tar that slid through my veins, it only drew attention when I concentrated on it. Now, unless I was actively constraining it, the power blew away from me.
“Your Magic.” He was breathless.
“I lost control,” I bumbled out, I could feel the blood pool in my cheeks. I was just glad that he couldn’t see my face in the dark.
“It’s beautiful.”
What? I knew people could feel it when I lost control. It was like an oppressive wave crushing everything in its path. No one but me was able to see it, unless they were a Blood Mage. I didn’t like the thought that Luka could see the black evil clouds emanating from me. I could only imagine how I looked when I was actively using Magic. Darkness billowing out from me, my bright red hair standing on its ends, and my eyes turned to black holes. It was a horrifying thought.
“What are you talking about
?” I was almost angry. How could he say that? Ever since I had gotten the collar off, I had been more aware than ever, I knew what it looked like.
“Your Magic. It’s amazing to see.”
My voice was low, dangerous. “It’s not amazing and it’s certainly not beautiful.”
“What?” He seemed genuinely confused. “It’s all glittering gold. Even now I can see how tightly you hold control of it.”
“It’s an illusion. Every time I use it, I can feel the stain on my soul growing. You saw me perform yesterday. My eyes turn black, Luka. Don’t be fooled by some pretty colours. It’s death Magic.”
He had no response for me, no further words of encouragement. I knew the truth and so did Judas. It was why he now avoided me as if I had the plague.
Chapter Fourteen
I was sitting in the dining room. The clock read 4:45am, too early for any sane person to be awake. My sleep had been restless and nightmare-filled. I would have the world to myself for at least an hour more. There was a shuffling behind me. I whirled around, half expecting Luka. In the doorway stood Judas, his blonde curly hair mused from sleep. Even with the freezing temperatures he was wearing only track pants. I moved my eyes back to my breakfast and waited for him to leave. Our last few encounters had been frosty to say the least. He sat down across from me, muscled arms nursing a dark coffee.
“You’re up early. How did you sleep?”
I stared at him with my mouth agape. He hadn’t so much as grunted at me in a month and now he was worried about my sleeping patterns. I peered up slowly, not bothering to hide my annoyance.
“You know who you’re talking to, right? You’re not sleepwalking are you?”
His full lips pulled down on one side. He was not impressed with my sarcasm. Even though neither of us had seen the sun in some time, his skin was still golden and tan.
“Yes, I know who I’m talking to.” He snorted as if I were being unreasonable.
“You haven’t so much as willingly glanced at me in weeks. Have you forgotten what I am?”
“I just wanted to say that we heard from Loral. He will be back later today with word from Joseph.” His hand rubbed the back of his neck. Was he uncomfortable with my presence? I hoped so.
“Fantastic.”
Tension rolled off my shoulders. I was glad Loral was safe. Maybe I could get some information from him, volunteer Luka and me for the next mission. We slid back into awkward silence. I finished my eggs and we sat staring at each other.
I was the one to break first. “You’ve been ignoring me.”
“That’s not true.”
“We’ve barely spoken since my collar was taken off. Every time I come into the room you glare at me and leave.” I couldn’t hide the hurt in my voice.
When I was collared, we had spent a majority of our time together. I hadn’t even been back to the fields. “I thought we were friends.”
I fiddled with the gold coin around my wrist, the one he had given me. It was meant to bring the wearer good luck. It didn’t seem to be working.
“You’re a Sorceress,” he spat.
The air seemed to grow cold, and adrenaline made my lungs heavy. I had wished, in some part of my brain, that he was angry at me for lying to him. But that wasn’t the case. It hurt to hear the words aloud. My oldest fear come to life, Judas had seen the real me and turned away.
“That’s not who I am, Judas. I’m still me. I’m still Lilith.”
I needed Judas’s friendship. He was a bright ray of sun in the compound. His eyes narrowed as he stared at me. I could see the calculation behind his pallid eyes. What was he weighting up? He glanced around the room. “I know who you really are.” He leant over the table toward me. His voice was quiet. “I know what you did. You’re a murderer.”
When I was younger, my father would push me on the swings. I would jump off and see how high I could fly. One day I let go too late and landed flat on my back. That was how I felt now, all the wind had been knocked from my lungs. I tried to inhale, to exhale, to do anything but let the word bounce around inside my head.
Murderer. Murderer.
He knew. He knew.
“There’s a two-million credit bounty on your head. You’re a wanted criminal.” His words were rushed and intense, as if he wanted me to deny it.
The bounty has gone up.
“You’re a murderer! That’s why you were collared.” He shot at me accusingly. The words were like a wasp flying around my brain, stinging every time they hit the side of my skull.
“I..I didn’t.”
“You didn’t kill that vampire?”
“I had no choice! He was killing an innocent woman.”
His face hardened and he looked disgusted. Judas’s once-friendly face had curled into something unrecognisable. I had confirmed everything he thought of me.
“What did you expect me to do, let her die?” I stood up over the table, leaning toward him. My voice reverberated through the kitchen.
The bitter taste of rage filled my mouth. I had saved that woman. The vampire would have sucked her dry before help arrived.
“You didn't have to murder him!” He matched my outrage. “I guess I shouldn’t have expected more from a vile Sorceress. Did it feel good to steal his Magic?” Judas spat at me from across the table.
I hated that word.
His words snapped something inside of me. I couldn't see through the red haze that clouded my vision. There was a sharp pain on the inside of my cheek as my molars ground down. The coppery taste of blood flooded my mouth. My power came roaring to the surface. It yearned for violence. I yearned for violence.
I ripped the gold bracelet from my wrist and slammed it down on the table between us. “You’re right. I am a vile Sorceress! I killed that vampire without even needing to take a step.”
My Magic fuelled my temper, forcing it to burn out of control. Magic blanketed the room, replacing all the air. I would show him what a vile Sorceress I really was. I watched, uninterested, as the gifted golden pendant melted and burned under my attention.
“My only regret was that I didn’t savour it more.” I moved around the table. He needed to pay for his insolence.
“You’re a monster.” His eyes widened in horror.
In their glassy reflection I could see my black irises mirrored. He stumbled back, falling over his chair. I sauntered toward my prey, letting out a dark chuckle. His demise would be slow and painful.
“Arina!” An urgent voice interrupted. Luka stood in front of me, his warm hands encircling my biceps. Instantly my Magic retreated. The effect was dizzying and some of the rage dissipated. It still simmered just under the surface.
Luka was standing in front of me, stony-eyes serious. As I stared up at him, icy regret wormed its way through my body. Judas was cowered behind the table, eyes wide. Hastily I sheathed the dagger I hadn’t remembered palming. Would I have killed him? Probably. My features schooled into ones of indifference. I couldn’t show any more weakness. I shoved the anger down deep.
“I’m not your enemy, Judas.” I pushed past Luka and strode from the room. I struggled to keep my Magic and mood stable as I stalked to my bedroom.
Instead of pacing the length of the room, I tensed up my muscles and sat on the mattress. I snatched a book from beside the bed and yanked it open. The page could have been blank for all it mattered. My fingers were strained white against the pages and I had to stop myself from tearing the thing in two. Anger pulsed under my skin. Luka hovered on the edge of my awareness. I could feel his energy pulsing in a silent threat.
“What the hell just happened?” he finally growled.
When I glanced up, the dim light from the bedroom shadowed his sharp features.
“Nothing,” I snapped. “Just a disagreement”
His disapproval bristled on my raw nerves.
“He knows who you are,” he said, his large frame loomed over me.
“He knows my name and that there’s a bounty on my head.”
I kept my eyes glaring at the book.
Apparently he couldn’t tell that my temper was barely contained, or he simply didn’t care.
“What did you do to make him so angry in the first place?”
I clenched my jaw, my molars grinding against each other. I took in deep, calming breaths and tried to once again focus on the book.
“Arina.” He snatched the book from my hands and demanded my full attention.
In the next moment I had Luka pressed against the wall by the neck. I pushed the full length of my body against his. “He hates me because I’m a vile Sorceress.” The words tasted foul on my tongue.
The memory of the unbridled hatred that radiated from Judas caused my Magic to spark. I pressed myself harder against him, my body straining under the rage.
“Clam down.” He chastised me.
His eyes held no fear in them. Maybe he had forgotten how close I had come to killing him the second time we’d met. I wanted to roar at him, remind him how terrifying I was. He grabbed my wrist where it was pressed against his neck. He threw me across the room. Luka hurled me as if I weighed nothing. By the time I got to my feet again I was buzzing with anger. He planted himself in front of me.
“You want a fight?” He shouted.
I shook my head and crossed my arms over my chest. My teeth ground as I struggled to keep my temper in check.
“Come on. Pick on someone who can fight back.” He shoved my chest hard and I stumbled backward onto the mattress.
“Did Judas say something mean to you? Did you get your feelings hurt?” he taunted and settled into his fighting stance, beckoning me forward.
How dare he belittle me! I launched myself at him with a shrill screech. We traded blows. Luka caught me with a stinging shot across my cheek. I spat blood onto the floor and grinned up at him. I launched myself toward Luka, pummeling his face and chest. He grabbed me roughly and threw me off him once again. I hit the wall hard, winding myself. It took me a moment to get to my feet and then I lunged forward.
He didn’t check one of my high kicks and my heel caught him flush on the temple. The Hunter wobbled for a moment before turning his sharp glare on me.