Take a reddener—get embarrassed
Take the piss—mock or satirize
Tara, t’ra!—“goodbye”
Tidy—“this is satisfactory”
Titchy—very small
Trollied—drunk
Twee—cardigan-wearing cupcake fan (a mocking term)
Upswallow—throw up
Up the duff—pregnant
Wazzock—idiot (affectionate term)
Wet—ineffectual or soppy, as in “wet nelly”
WHAT TO SAY: Any of the above.
WHAT NOT TO SAY: French stuff. You’ll only confuse people.
* According to a 2014 report by the Commonwealth Fund.
* This is not a reference to the disgusting and possibly apocryphal British public school game soggy biscuit. You do not want to know what the rules of soggy biscuit are, or what happens when it is played. And you definitely do not want to have to clean up afterwards.
* Has there ever been a more English word than chutney? It’s almost disappointing to discover that it’s a name for a vinegary mush of spiced, preserved vegetables, and not, for example, an affectionate nickname given to the now-disgraced Earl of Lichmond-on-the-Blather by a beloved nanny. Part of the appeal is that it’s an Indian word, coming to Britain during the days of English colonial rule and sticking delightfully to the tongue like itself on an en-Stiltoned cracker.
* Yes, yes, yes, it’s fish ’n’ chips, not fish & chips. But let’s face it, what is the immortal ’n’ if not a rock ’n’ roll ampersand? Nothing, that’s what.