Then again, all that signing. And writing all those names at the top. And separating the thank you letters from the no thank you ones.
Maybe there was a better way.
Horrid Henry sat down at the computer and typed:
Dear Sir or Madam,
That should cover everyone, thought Henry, and I won’t have to write anyone’s name.
Thank you /No thank you/ for the
a) wonderful
b) horrible
c) disgusting
present. I really loved it/hated it. In fact, it is the best present/worst present/I have ever received. I /played with it/ broke it/ ate it/ spent it/ threw it in the garbage/ right away. Next time just send lots of money.
Best wishes/ worst wishes/
Now, how to sign it? Aha, thought Henry.
Your friend or relative.
Perfect, thought Horrid Henry. Sir or Madam knows whether they deserve a thank you or a no thank you letter. Let them do some work for a change and tick the correct answers.
Print.
Print.
Print.
Out spewed seventeen letters. It only took a moment to stuff them in the envelopes. He’d pop the letters in the mailbox on the way to school.
Had an easier way to become a millionaire ever been invented, thought Horrid Henry, as he turned on the TV?
Ding dong.
It was two weeks after Henry set up “Henry’s Thank You Letters.”
Horrid Henry opened the door.
A group of Henry’s customers stood there, waving pieces of paper and shouting.
“My granny sent the letter back and now I can’t watch TV for a week,” wailed Moody Margaret.
“I’m grounded!” screamed Aerobic Al.
“I have to go swimming!” screamed Lazy Linda.
“No candy!” yelped Greedy Graham.
“No allowance!” screamed Rude Ralph.
“And it’s all your fault!” they shouted.
Horrid Henry glared at his angry customers. He was outraged. After all his hard work, this was the thanks he got?
“Too bad!” said Horrid Henry as he slammed the door. Honestly, there was no pleasing some people.
“Henry,” said Mom. “I just had the strangest phone call from Aunt Ruby…”
Horrid Henry’s Family, Friends, and Enemies
Aerobic Al
Anxious Andrew
Aunt Ruby
Beefy Bert
Bossy Bill
Brainy Brian
Clever Clare
Dad
Dizzy Dave
Fiery Fiona
Fluffy the cat
Goody-Goody Gordon
Gorgeous Gurinder
Grandpa
Granny
Great Aunt Greta
Greedy Graham
Inky Ian
Jazzy Jim
Jolly Josh
Jumpy Jeffrey
Kind Kasim
Lazy Linda
Lisping Lilly
Magic Martha
Miss Battle-Axe
Miss Lovely
Miss Thumper
Miss Tutu
Mom
Moody Margaret
Mr. Nerdon
Mrs. Oddbod
New Nick
Perfect Peter
Pimply Paul
Prissy Polly
Rabid Rebecca
Rude Ralph
Singing Saraya
Soggy Sid
Sour Susan
Stuck-Up Steve
Tidy Ted
Tough Toby
Vain Violet
Vomitting Vera
Weepy William
The HORRID HENRY books by Francesca Simon
Illustrated by Tony Ross
Each book contains four stories
HORRID HENRY
Henry is dragged to dancing class against his will; vies with Moody Margaret to make the yuckiest Glop; goes camping; and tries to be good like Perfect Peter—but not for long.
HORRID HENRY
TRICKS THE TOOTH FAIRY
Horrid Henry tries to trick the Tooth Fairy into giving him more money; sends Moody Margaret packing; causes his teachers to run screaming from school; and single-handedly wrecks a wedding.
HORRID HENRY and THE MEGAMEAN TIME MACHINE
Horrid Henry reluctantly goes for a hike; builds a time machine and convinces Perfect Peter that boys wear dresses in the future; Perfect Peter plays one of the worst tricks ever on his brother; and Henry’s aunt takes the family to a fancy restaurant, so his parents bribe him to behave.
HORRID HENRY'S STINKBOMB
Horrid Henry uses a stinkbomb as a toxic weapon in his long-running war with Moody Margaret; uses all his tricks to win the school reading competition; goes for a sleepover and retreats in horror when he finds that other people’s houses aren’t always as nice as his own; and has the joy of seeing Miss Battle-Axe in hot water with the principle when he knows it was all his fault.
HORRID HENRY AND THE MUMMY'S CURSE
Horrid Henry indulges his favorite hobby— collecting Gizmos; has a bad time with his spelling homework; starts a rumor that there’s a shark in the pool; and spooks Perfect Peter with the mummy’s curse.
HORRID HENRY AND THE SOCCER FIEND
Horrid Henry reads Perfect Peter’s diary and improves it; goes shopping with Mom and tries to make her buy him some really nice new sneakers; is horrified when his old enemy Bossy Bill turns up at school; and tries by any means, to win the class soccer match.
HORRID HENRY AND THE SCARY SITTER
Horrid Henry encounters the worst babysitter in the world; traumatizes his parents on a long car trip; is banned from trick-or-treating at Halloween; and emerges victorious from a raid on Moody Margaret’s Secret Club.
HORRID HENRY'S CHRISTMAS
Horrid Henry sabotages the Christmas play; tries to do all his Christmas shopping without spending any of his allowance; attempts to ambush Santa Claus (to get more presents of course); and has to endure the worst Christmas dinner ever!
About the Author
Photo: Francesco Guidicini
Francesca Simon spent her childhood on the beach in California and then went to Yale and Oxford Universities to study medieval history and literature. She now lives in London with her family. She has written over fortyfive books and won the Children’s Book of the Year in 2008 at the Galaxy British Book Awards for Horrid Henry and the Abominable Snowman.