finance business of, 186
imprisonment of, 139–44, 146–70, 172–3, 183
marriage, See marriage of Fawzia Koofi
teacher, 188, 191
torture of, by Taliban, 209
and tuberculosis, 170, 173, 188, 191–3, 198, 200, 209–113
Koofi, Shaharzad (daughter), x, 1, 15, 29, 37, 46, 61, 63, 69, 85, 109, 121, 129, 137, 145, 171, 185–90, 192, 205, 215, 222, 227, 235
birth of, 186–8
infancy of, 190
Koofi, Shuhra (daughter), x, 1, 15, 29, 37, 47, 61, 63, 69, 85, 109, 121, 129, 137, 145, 171, 185, 189–93, 195–6, 198, 205, 210, 215, 222, 227, 235, 252
Koofi political dynasty, 1, 5–7, 10, 19–22, 26, 31, 38, 42, 50–1, 61, 91, 97, 147, 194, 196, 216–19, 222, 224–5, 227, 230, 235, 238–40, 241, 243, 250–61
Kuchis, 181
Kunduz, 57, 123, 238
Lahore, 157–9
landmines, 174–5
letters to daughters, 1–2, 15, 29–30, 37, 47, 61–2, 63, 69, 85, 97–9, 109, 121–2, 129–30, 137, 145, 171, 185, 205, 215, 222, 227, 241
on achievement, 1–2
on Afghanistan, 205
on celebrations, 129–30
on change, 47
on civil war, 29–30, 37
on courage, 1–2, 15, 241
on death threats, 1–2, 47
on duty, 137
on education, 1–2
on family, 61–2
on grandfather Abdul Rahman, 241
on girl children, 15
on giving up, 171
on grandmother Bibi jan, 97–9
on Islam, 109
on the kindness of others, 121–2
on loss, 145
on loyalty, 69
on marriage, 15, 137
on mother-daughter intimacy, 129
on politics, 227
on snobbery, 185
on Taliban, 109
loya jirga (tribal council), 210, 221, 254–5
MacKay, Peter, 240
madrassas (religious schools), 83, 92, 101
Makrorian, Kabul, 58, 70, 77, 79, 82, 127, 138, 143, 169, 211
male clothing in Afghanistan, 20, 35, 58, 102, 104, 113, 116, 150–1, 156, 176, 180, 220, 233
beards, 113, 116, 150
long striped coats, 220
paqul, 58
and the Taliban, 102
turbans, 35, 104, 116, 139, 151, 156, 176, 180, 220, 233
See shalwar kameez
marriage, and Afghan culture, 4–6, 8, 10–11, 15, 19–26, 38, 42, 53–4, 86–8, 91, 115–19, 131–36, 137, 138, 139, 144, 149, 162, 168, 171, 180, 209, 212
and child brides, 15, 19, 24–5
and children, 23–4, 38
and engagement, 117–19
and financial pressures, 15
and love, 5
married women, segregation of, 11
and mujahideen, 53–4
and obedience/duty, 4–5, 11, 137
wedding day, 131–6
See polygamy; weddings
marriages of Abdul Rahman, 4–5, 10–12, 20–4, 35, 91–3
and divorce, 10
and eight wives, 4–5, 10–11, 21–4, 35, 91–2
and Koofi’s mother, See parents’ marriage
and perfectionism, 11
twenty-three children, 4
See parents’ marriage
marriage of Fawzia Koofi, 86–92, 115–19, 131–36, 137, 138, 139, 149–50, 186, 190–3, 209–13, 215, 216, 230, 232
arrangement of, 89–90, 115–16
character of, 90–1
courtship, 89–90
death of husband
See Hamid Koofi, death of
engagement, 117–19
in Faizabad, 186
and girl daughters, 190–2
and Hamid’s sickness
See Hamid Koofi, and tuberculosis
imprisonment of Hamid
See Hamid Koofi, imprisonment of
and independence, 91–2
meeting Hamid, 86–7
and mother’s blessing, 87, 90
on polygamy, 91–2
and politics, 230, 232
on remarrying, 216
and sexual intimacies, 191
and the Taliban, 131–36, 209
and $20,000 price tag, 116–17, 180–1, 191
wedding day, 131–6, 137, 138, 139
Massoud, Ahmed Shah (“Lion of Panjshir”), 48, 70, 77, 101–3, 105–7, 124–5, 158–9, 173–4, 200–3, 206–7, 231, 248, 254
maternal mortality, ix, 152–3, 187, 219, 242–3
Mazary, Abdul Ali, 70
Mazaar, 123
member of parliament (MP) (Abdul Rahman), 5–10, 20–1, 31–5, 76, 216–20, 250
as arbab (a leader of the village), 8
assassination of, 32–4
and Atanga Pass road, 7–8
character of, 10
imprisonment of, 20
and leadership, 7–10, 20
and poor people, 8–9
pressure of, 20–1
radio address, 9
and Saur Revolution, 29–31
member of parliament (MP) (Fawzia Koofi), ix-x, 1–2, 4–6, 26, 39, 42, 44–5, 47, 61, 97, 121–2, 193–200, 206–7, 216–25, 227, 228–40, 241, 242–52
and brothers, 59
campaigning, 26, 39, 42, 206–7, 219–25, 229–31, 235, 240
and change, 47
and criticism, 199–200
death threats, ix-x, 1–2, 4, 47, 250
as deputy speaker, 235–8
dreams for Afghanistan, 244–52
election as, 228–30
and her father, 193–7
and female leaders, 44
as husband, 216
and horizons, 44–5
and Indira Gandhi, 44
and international politicians, 239–40
and marriage, 230, 232
and medical survey tour, 193–7
and poverty, x, 193–8, 216, 219, 234, 240, 242–4
and privacy, 121–2, 230
and public speaking, 197
reflections on, 230
and smears/rumors, 231
and Taliban, 248–9
and women’s rights, 197–8, 219–20, 242–4, 248–9
Meshrano Jirga (House of the Elders), 232
Michel, Louis, 200
middle class, 79
militia, 112, 115–16, 254
Ministry of Defense, 151
Ministry of the Interior, 58, 141
Ministry of Vice and Virtue, 113, 133, 144 Mongol, 22, 70
“morality crimes,” 113, 149
See Taliban
Mother of the Year contest, 197
motherhood, and Fawzia Koofi, 129, 152–5, 171, 172, 179–200, 186–92
and abortion, 189
and childbirth, 186–92
and pregnancy, 152–5, 171, 171, 179–80, 186–92
on a son, 62, 191
See letters to daughters
Mughals, 158
muharram, 132, 140–1
mujahideen (Afghan fighters), 29, 31–4, 39–42, 48–55, 58, 66, 70–83, 90, 93, 100–2, 106–7, 110, 115, 117, 123–4, 132, 158, 162, 173, 175, 186, 190, 197, 202, 217, 223, 232, 239, 245, 249, 253–4
and “dead man’s dance,” 49
and Fawzia Koofi, 31–4, 53–6
as heroes, 31–3
peace treaty, 92–3
and politics, 31–3, 48–58, 66, 70
and propaganda, 52
and robbing and killing, 76
and Shia, 81
and the Taliban, 100–1
and torture, 31–4, 39–43, 49
victory over Soviets, 48
and women, 39–43, 50–4, 79–82
mujahideen and Fawzia Koofi, 31–4, 52–6
murder of half-brother, 55
murder of father, 31–4
torment of family, 39–43
mujahideen and women, 38–43, 50–4, 79–82
abuse of women/girls, 39–43, 50–4, 79–82
female news anchors, 53
forced marriages, 53–4
and rape, 79–82
Muslims, 21, 40, 51, 67, 70, 80–1, 109, 121, 141–3, 159, 161, 166, 168, 194, 202, 208, 222
Najibullah, Mohammad, 48–9, 102, 158, 221, 253–4
National Assembly, 232
nikah, 134–6, 137, 138
niqabs, 165–7, 169, 208
North American Treaty Organization (NATO), 150
Northern Afghanistan, ix, 110
Northern Alliance, 71, 110, 124, 174, 177, 200, 202, 207, 254
Obama, Barack, 240
Olympic sports stadium, and public executions, 114
Omar, Mullah, 139, 254
Operation Enduring Freedom, 207, 245
aghman, 70
Pakistan, 20, 29, 31, 59, 79, 83, 92, 100–1, 114, 116–18, 124, 132, 143, 150–1, 156–8, 162, 166–7, 172, 198–200, 208, 210–11, 245, 250, 253–4
Pamir high school (Faizabad), 44
Panjshir valley, 48, 70, 101–2, 105–6, 124, 202 parents’ marriage (Abdul and Bibi jan), 4–5, 9–11, 17–24, 32–5, 37, 38, 178–9
child bride, 19
near divorce, 23–4
death of Abdul, 32–4, 37
and duty, 4–5, 11–12, 35
favorite wife of Abdul, 5, 10–11, 21–2
and household management, 4–5, 9–12, 17–22
and love, 11
political life of Abdul, 9–10, 20–1
preparing for Abdul’s returns home, 10
relationship with other wives, 4–5, 11–12, 21–2, 35, 37, 38
second wife/head wife, 21–2
See also marriages of Abdul Rahman
Paris Suite, 21, 34, 223
parliament (Afghan), 5–10, 19–20, 22, 34, 39, 76, 122, 200, 217, 224–5, 230–3, 234–9, 241, 247, 249, 255
See members of parliament
Parwan residence, 107, 110
Pashto language, 142, 165, 169
Pashtu, 150, 156–7, 238, 245, 254
Pashtunwali, 150
Peshawar, 157–9
politics (in Afghanistan), ix, 1, 4–8, 10, 19–22, 26, 29, 30–7, 42, 48–58, 61, 66, 81, 89–91, 97, 100, 109, 114–15, 134, 147–8, 158, 161–3, 165, 174, 194–6, 200–1, 210–11, 216–20, 222, 224–5, 227, 230–35, 238–40, 244–51, 253–4
and communism, 30–1
and corruption, 4, 114–15, 221, 234, 240, 246–7, 251
as dangerous, 19–20
and democracy, See democracy
democratic constitution, 210–11
king, 7–8, 19, 31–2, 216, 232, 252–4
and mujahideen, See mujahideen, and politics
and nepotism, 246
and parliament, See parliament
and power versus service, 235, 246–7
presidency, 19, 31–2
and Taliban, See Taliban, and politics
polo, 33
polygamy/multimarriage, 4–5, 10–12, 19, 21–6, 34–5, 38–9, 58, 61–2, 63–4, 93–4, 104–5
and children, 23–4, 38–9
experience of, 11–12, 21–6
as family, 22–6, 35, 58, 61–2
jealousies, 22, 61
weddings, 11–12
See parents’ marriage; Abdul Rahman, marriages of
“poor girl,” 15–16, 97–9, 137, 191–2, 238
poverty, ix-x, 8–10, 18, 20, 32, 42, 44, 61, 92, 98, 111, 116, 118, 121, 133, 145, 147, 153, 185, 194–6, 203, 209, 216, 219, 221, 224, 234, 240, 242–4, 250–1
pregnancy, ix, 4, 12, 152–5, 158, 163, 165, 171, 172–3, 177, 179–80, 186–7, 189–90, 219, 242–3
See child mortality; maternal mortality
Prophet Mohammed, 81
Puli Charkhi prison (Kabul), 31, 160–2, 165–7
Puli Khumri residence, 110–13, 115, 117, 132, 179–80
Quran, 42, 88, 121, 133, 174, 179, 234
Rabbani, Burhanuddin, 70, 90, 92, 158–9, 162, 173, 190, 197, 199–201, 254
radios, 9, 39, 49, 52, 56, 101–3, 105, 201, 206, 229
Rahman, Abdul (father), 5–12, 17–27, 31–5, 38–40, 42–5, 54, 61, 64–6, 76–7, 79, 81, 91–2, 97–8, 117, 119, 136, 158, 160, 164, 171, 178, 190, 192–3, 195–6, 216–24, 227, 230, 232, 238, 240–1, 249–50
death of, 31–5, 38–9, 44, 215
imprisonment of, 20, 227
and marriage, See parents’ marriage;marriages of Abdul Rahman
politics, See member of parliament (Abdul Rahman)
relationship with Koofi, See relationship with father
Rahman, Azamshah (grandfather), 6–9, 61, 171, 233 Rahman, Bibi jan (second wife) (mother), 4–5, 9–13, 15–16, 17–26, 29, 35–46, 50–57, 59–61, 66, 72–83, 85, 86–90, 92, 97–9, 106, 113, 119, 131–2, 135–6, 139, 164, 171, 173, 178–9, 186, 188–9, 192–3, 195–6, 201, 211–12, 215, 218–20, 222–4, 232, 249, 252
beauty of, 5, 19
death of, 82–3, 85, 86–90, 92, 106, 132, 135, 232
and household management, 4–5, 9–12, 17–22, 35, 37, 38–9, 78, 178–9
and independence, 45
leadership abilities, 38–41
marriage, See parents’ marriage
and mujahideen, 39–42
relationship with Koofi, See relationship with mother
strength of, 35, 38–9, 56, 73–8, 86–8, 97–9, 171, 193
Rahman, Dawlat bibi (divorced wife), 217
Rahman, Ennayat (half-brother), 12–13, 25–6, 38–9, 43, 64, 222, 257
Rahman, Gada (aunt), 19, 34
Rahman, Hedayat (half-brother), 38
Rahman, Jamalshah (brother), 9, 43, 45 Rahman, Katayoun (niece), 88
Rahman, Khadija (sister-in-law), 1, 115–16, 138, 163–70, 173, 212, 223
Rahman, Khal bibi (fourth wife), 22–3, 39
Rahman, the Khalifa (first wife), 21, 39, 41
Rahman, Mirshakay (brother), 43, 57–9, 64, 66–7, 78–9, 91, 101–2, 106, 110, 117–18, 124, 127, 140, 142, 144, 148–51, 156–7, 217–18, 229
Rahman, Muqim (brother), 25–6, 39–40, 43–4, 55–7, 59–60, 62, 63–7, 73–8, 124, 136, 173, 222
assassination of, 55–6, 59–60, 63–7, 73–8
saved by female clothing, 39–40, 64–6
Rahman, Najib (nephew), 229–30
Rahman, Nazi (half-sister), 38
Rahman, Niaz bibi (third wife), 22–3, 39
Rahman, Qandigul (“Maryam”), 249–50
Rahman, Safiullah (half-brother), 38–9
Rahman, Safiullah (nephew), 39
Rahman, Shahjan (sister), 100
Rahman, Shannaz (seventh wife), 4–5, 11–12, 25, 37–8, 222
Rahman, Zulmaishah (half-brother), 39
Rahmullah (teacher), 42
rape, 37, 50, 66, 72, 79–81, 114–16, 197
refugees, 29, 37, 41–2, 101, 112, 114, 147, 150, 209–10
relationship with father (Koofi’s), 19–20, 26–7, 34–5, 215, 224, 241
childhood stories, 19, 26–7
death of father, 34–5, 215, 224
and “dukhtarak,” 26
as distant, 19–20
relationship with mother (Koofi’s), 12–13, 19, 26, 35, 37, 38–44, 56–60, 72–8, 82–3, 85, 86–90, 92, 97, 171, 193, 224
and birth of Fawzia, 12–13
closeness of, 19, 56–7, 97–9
death of mother, 82–3, 85, 86–90, 92, 224
and death of brother, 59–60, 74–8
and education, 72–3, 87
as favorite, 13, 26, 44, 72–3, 87
and mother’s strength, 35, 37, 38–44, 56, 73–8, 87–8, 97–9, 171, 193
Russian soldiers, 40, 48–50, 54, 58, 63–4, 70–1, 77, 100, 108, 110, 162
Salang pass, 110–11, 117
sanitation, 194
Saqib, Sabrina, 234–6
Saudi Arabia, 24, 100
–1, 158, 208, 253–4 Saur Revolution, 29–31
Sayyaf, Abdul Rasul, 71
September 11, 2001, 203–7
shalwar kameez (long tunic and trousers), 5, 20, 40, 58, 63, 104–6, 249
Share Naw, 113, 140
sharia law, 21, 50
Shah Jahan, 158
Shalimar Gardens, 158
Shia, 70, 80–1
Shomali Plains, 105–6, 125, 208
siblings, See brothers; sisters
sisters, x, 12, 19, 22–5, 34, 38, 40–3, 50–1, 56–7, 59–60, 60–2, 64–6, 73, 79, 90, 100–1, 104, 106–7, 110, 112–13, 115–16, 118, 124–6, 129, 130, 133, 135, 138–40, 143, 151, 155, 159, 160, 163–4, 169, 173, 180–1, 186–90, 198, 212–13, 222–3, 228–9, 236, 248
sisters-in-law, 24, 40, 42–3, 64, 66, 112, 124–6, 139, 151, 156, 160, 172
Solana, Javier, 200
Sorabi, Habiba, 238
South Africa, 48
Southern Afghanistan, 113, 150, 174, 198
Soviet Union, 9, 29, 31, 48–50, 54, 58, 63–4, 70–1, 76–7, 83, 100, 108, 110, 158, 160, 162, 173, 175, 193, 197, 201–2, 209, 216, 218–19, 245, 253–4
Soviet war in Afghanistan, 29, 31, 35, 48, 100
See Russian soldiers
Stera Mahkama (the Supreme Court), 232
suicide bombings, 115, 231
Sukarnoputri, Megawati, 251
Sunni, 70, 81, 101
Surobi, 174–5
Tagab, 107, 174
Taj Mahal, 158
Takhar province residence, 123–4
takht, 139
takht jami, 139
Takjikistan, ix, 6, 56
Takjiks, 245
Taliban, ix-x, 82–3, 92–3, 99, 100–8, 109, 110– 18, 121, 123–7, 131–6, 139–41, 143, 146–7, 149–54, 156–62, 166–7, 169–70, 172–81, 183, 188, 190, 193, 197–202, 206–10, 217–19, 244–5, 248–9, 252, 254–5
defeat of (2001), 114–15, 244
See war in Afghanistan
destruction of Buddhas of Bamiyan, 103
as disease, 177
as employer, 126–7, 147
and ethnic divisions, 147
home invasions, 139–40
and human rights activists, 210
and lootings, 103–7
and mob psychology, 105
and “morality crimes,” 112
movement of, 83
and politics, 83, 100–9, 114, 123–7, 177
and propaganda, 104
and public executions, 114
and regression, 109, 132–3, 151, 174, 177, 195, 219, 245
and southern Afghanistan, 83
wedding ban, 103–4
See Islamic fundamentalism; Taliban and women; terrorism
Taliban and women, ix-x, 100–5, 113, 121–3, 132–3, 152–3, 175–6, 183, 210
and attire, 100–5, 110, 123, 177
and beatings, 102–3, 113, 133, 177, 183
and education, 113, 210
and health care, ix, 152–3