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    Trying Not To Blink: A Poetry Collection

    Page 7
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      To hang things

      But who among us can reach that high

      To even try?

      And who has the size or intentions for it

      To even work?

      It’s beyond our scope of range and time

      Still though,

      It serves as a pointed reminder that

      There is more

      To existence than our pithy concerns

      October 22, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      I don’t really know what this one means. A few nights ago the moon was extremely thin and sharp and it, for some reason, made me think of a coat hook. I then thought that when we get caught up in the silly nonsense of daily life in our “modern times,” it’s good to look up and think for a moment on the whole of existence to put things in perspective. When writing this I got more into the visual look of the poem. I don’t know why, but it’s somewhat interesting.

      Releasing Emily

      This week

      With great anticipation

      And trepidation

      I did and felt something akin

      To what a parent must feels

      When they drop a child off

      To college, and turn them loose

      Out in the cruel, wonderful world

      For the very first time

      I fretted and hoped I did it right

      Raising, grooming, instilling, inspiring

      Making it the very best that I could

      And now it’s her turn

      To make her way

      Emily’s failure or success

      Is a direct reflection upon me

      And the job I did

      Looking back at my creation

      I smile, cry, and laugh all at once.

      It doesn’t matter what others may think

      She’s perfect, flaws and all

      And I can’t help but beam with pride

      October 22, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      This week I released my novel, Emily Dickinson, Superhero – Vol. 1.

      What Fear Wrought

      Bullies

      Are children

      Who hassle, threaten, and beat others

      To make themselves feel better

      To assuage the fear they feel

      Bullies,

      Toughs,

      Aggressors,

      Oppressors,

      Tyrants,

      Terrorists,

      Are adults

      Who harass, intimidate, and torment others

      Because they are afraid

      Afraid of change

      Afraid of differences

      Afraid of things they don’t understand

      Acting in an identical manner

      To those they proclaim to hate

      Practicing a different religion

      On the other side of the globe

      The same cause

      The same end

      A self-replicating cycle

      October 22, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      I’m not a big fan of all the fear-mongering that gets so casually tossed about.

      Devolving Culture

      Problems with the system aside,

      How contradictory is it

      That in an educational setting

      A culture of stupidity and ignorance

      Pervades and imposes itself

      Through the bullying

      Of the smartest

      By the dimmest?

      In order to survive

      One has to either walk the fine line

      Of indifference and nonchalance

      Or join them.

      To do otherwise

      You risk standing out

      And becoming a target

      October 22, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      I got to thinking about growing up and being in school. I was a C+ student (got As in the classes I liked, Ds in the classes I didn’t like), but bullies frequently targeted me because I was fat, wore glasses, braces, and read a lot. I sometimes wonder how much more advanced our society would be if everyone worked together instead of spending so much time and energy trying to tear each other down all of the time.

      Crinkly Sweep Sweep

      Crinkly sweep, sweep,

      Sweeping the autumnal floor

      More jump tumble down

      From the woody hands held high

      Mocking the process

      Making me rake more

      October 30, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      NOVEMBER

      The Wind Raged On

      Hundreds of miles away we felt it.

      Tens of miles away, it got bad.

      First came the natural darkness,

      Then nature enforced it.

      Beer in hand, I sat on my stoop

      And observed an unseen situation:

      The city without lights; dead.

      Tiny windows of nearby buildings

      Lit up with candles and flashlights

      While the wind raged on

      Rolling garbage cans,

      Throwing newspaper boxes,

      And blowing noisy things around.

      Piercing blue and red with sirens

      As the disco cop cars

      Raced down the blackened street.

      Their lights crazily reflecting

      On and off every building.

      I sipped a drink

      And took it all in.

      November 2, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      A comic artist I know posted this the following on Twitter during Hurricane Sandy:

      @LucyKnisley: Wandered out to sit on my stoop and watch the disco cop cars race down blackened seventh ave while crazy things blew noisily around. Cool.

      Her words really struck me and I copied it in my phone’s Notepad so I could mold and shape it into something later. That later was tonight.

      Letting The Outsider In

      Strangers are easier

      Than friends.

      No history

      No future

      Just mild hope

      Washed warm

      And tumbled low

      With expectations

      It doesn’t matter

      Where they’ve been

      Or what they are now

      The comfort is there

      The need is filled

      With no messy cleanup

      How easily they blend together

      Just as easily as the months

      Blend into one another

      New page

      New stranger

      Same situation

      Letting the outsider in

      November 2, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      While in town, I saw someone flirting with another person and the title popped into my head so I wrote it down. Later, I tried to imagine someone who just lives in the temporary now as opposed to the long-term present and future.

      First Night Of Standard Time

      Quarter of five

      My view is dipped

      In a tinted shade

      That, not long ago,

      Was more like

      Quarter of nine

      I know the reasons

      For ending the savings

      But the first night

      Of standard time

      Is as shocking

      To my system

      As a glop of snow

      Sliding down my back

      And is the season’s

      Way of saying,

      Summer’s done

      Autumn’s fallen

      Winter’s coming

      November 4, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      It seems almost unfair, in a way.

      Living Between The Xs

      Was a three XLT

      But I’ve been lessening

      And steadily shrinking

      To the point where

      The three is too big

      But the next size down

      Is still too small

      The awkward in-between

      Of living between the Xs

     
    ; Is like a winding mountain road

      I’m in a place where I can’t stop

      I have to press and drive on

      Or put it in reverse

      And roll back down

      Which isn’t a serious option

      So I keep running

      Toward my goal

      Soon I’ll be down an X

      And there’ll be no going back

      November 4, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      Weighty issues.

      Factories

      Pieces of nature

      Are removed

      And delivered to

      Factories

      Where they are

      Manipulated

      Changed

      Combined

      Distilled

      Decorated

      Packaged

      Revalued

      Trucked

      Shelved

      Marketed

      Purchased

      Used

      Trashed

      And returned to nature

      In an unnatural state

      November 4, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      The other day it hit me that factories take the raw materials found in nature, do lots of things to them, and, in the end, they end up back in nature. I haven’t yet touched on all of the things I wanted to with this, so I finished my thoughts with the next poem, “Consumption Is A Hungry Thing.”

      Consumption Is A Hungry Thing

      Raw chunks and bits of nature

      Delivered to factories

      Repurposed; made civilized

      Turned into pretty things

      Designed to appeal

      To our wants and desires

      So we buy buy buy.

      Consumption is a hungry thing

      Simultaneously soothing

      And blinding us to the fact

      That we’re eating up our home

      November 4, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      The continuation of the theme started by that last poem (“Factories”).

      Notion In Mind

      We, as people,

      Should, in my belief,

      Be improving, advancing, evolving

      What we do and who we are

      With this notion in mind

      It’s interesting to look online

      See people I know from my past

      And who they are today

      Some, have grown greatly

      And advanced their lives;

      Some, have stalled still

      And settled for mediocrity;

      Some, have run reversed,

      And regressed to something less

      There are three choices

      Focusing ahead

      Looking down

      Longing back

      And it seems not many

      Share in my beliefs

      November 5, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      Why is there such a resistance to forward movement?

      The Problem

      Tonight’s culmination

      Of a too-long campaign

      Finds me avoiding the news

      Steering clear of social media

      Or anything of the sort

      I don’t know how

      They can call a state

      In favor of one or another

      When only 1% has reported

      It seems fishy to me

      Too much speculation

      Too much consternation

      Eventually giving way

      To much jubilation

      And much condemnation

      I think what Jesus said

      About a house divided

      Also goes for the Senate

      And the rest of the country

      But no one wants to listen…

      …and that’s the problem.

      November 6, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      Election night. I’m going to shut down the computer now and go read my Kindle.

      Disasters Are Wonderful

      Disasters are wonderful

      Opportunities for companies

      Occurring when natural selection

      Teams up and joins forces

      With planned obsolesce

      Ruining everyone’s everything

      So they have to buy more

      November 8, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      Heard something on NPR this morning where the National Automobile Dealers Association estimated that a quarter million cars would have to be scrapped because of Hurricane Sandy. This sounds like a dream come true for them, but it also got me thinking that all sorts of companies love disasters because disasters ruin everything and cause people to replace it all, spending tons of money on their stuff.

      Consumer

      It’s a horrible thing

      To refer to a person

      As a consumer

      As if insinuating

      Their sole purpose

      In life is to do one thing:

      Buy buy buy buy buy

      And nothing more

      November 8, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      A continuation of the theme from that last poem, “Disasters Are Wonderful.” What gets me about the word “consumer” is that we, as a society, are a-ok with it. I think calling a person a “consumer” is just as offensive as referring to a man as a “sperm donor” or a woman as a “baby factory.” In both of those cases, it is essentially breaking down our genders to their primary biological functions, but my God, we are so much more than that. Same with being called a “consumer.” Despite what the politicians and CEOs think, our life’s purpose isn’t merely to consume, and we as people should be actively rejecting that label.

      There Will Be Duplicates

      There will be duplicates

      I know, I am aware

      Please be patient

      With what I may write

      Now and in the future

      A poet cannot write just a single poem

      About the moon and stop, done,

      Never to broach the subject again

      So you may see some themes touched upon

      Over and over

      But one thing that will happen

      Is the lens viewing

      Combined with

      The mind observing

      Will make the description clearer

      Through the additional experience of life

      And the repeating thoughts

      Should be better refined

      Hopefully.

      November 8, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      It occurred to me that I tend to get inspired by the seasonality of life, and that, in turn, may make for a lot of repeated ideas in my poems. I imagined me, decades from now, looking back over my poems and seeing a lot of the same titles, sighing and saying, “damn it.” After some thought, I realized, hey, it’s ok, Emily Dickinson probably wrote over a thousand poems about birds* (bobolinks in particular). That clears the way for me to write dozens about hearses on fire or glow star stickers on the ceiling.

      *Just kidding.

      The Futuristic Sight

      A woman working at her computer

      Using the Wi-Fi at the local McDonald’s

      Talking to her MacBook

      With her headphones on

      Skyping with a project co-worker

      A large group of older people

      Taking up several tables

      Are all atwitter, bothered, and confused

      By the woman acting crazy

      Conversing with her computer.

      Trying to figure out what she’s up to

      One by one, they go to the bathroom

      On the return trip, they lean and peer

      See someone on the screen, and know.

      Impressed by the futuristic sight

      They report back to the rest of the group

      Ignoring the intense stares,

      Puzzled looks, and camera lean-ins

      Streaming from the group of olds

      She keeps on working


      November 13, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      This happened to Kari today.

      Getting The Word Out

      It’s one thing to write something;

      The personal nature of the work

      Can make a writer feel protective

      Naked, and exposed

      But getting the word out

      Can be a double-edged blade;

      The deeply rooted need

      For people to read it

      But also being equally afraid

      That people will read it

      November 13, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      This is how I feel right now. I’m in the process of sending emails to potential reviewers trying to get them to read Emily Dickinson, Superhero – Vol. 1. I’m happy every time I send off an email, but at the same time, I’m constantly looking at my inbox with a feeling of apprehension and dread…that someone might possibly write back.

      Reading Someone Else’s Poetry

      This is going to sound stupid

      Coming from someone

      Who labels himself a poet

      But wow, when I’m reading

      Someone else’s poetry

      It’s hard not to roll my eyes

      And groan inwardly

      At the layer of pretention

      Slathered thick between

      The obvious end crusts of irony

      Sandwiching in the rancid cuts

      Of painfully melodramatic allegory.

      Glancing at it, I usually pass

      And fill up on chips.

      I say these things

      Despite having frequented that kitchen myself

      Partaking of those very same ingredients

      And preparing the same steaming meals

      That I am refusing to eat.

      Over the years, I’ve learned a lot

      Most notably, restraint.

      Now I sprinkle rather than smother,

      Garnish instead of bury,

      And hint as opposed to ladle.

      Like anything, moderation is the key

      Being too heavy-handed is fine

      And sometimes what one needs

      Once in a great while

      The rest of the time,

      It’s best to hold back

      And offer a varying buffet

      Enticing the reader to return

      November 13, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

     


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