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    Lost In Thought

    Page 4
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      I would then have to stand up

      Along with all the others

      He’s terrorized on the highway

      And politely correct them -

      That their perfect angel thought

      He was too fast and too furious

      In his dumb-ass mobile thinking

      He was cool like the movie men

      And their fast cars and hot babes

      But thankfully, now he’s dead

      I just have to pray that he didn’t

      Take anyone else with him

      June 15, 2003

      Manchester, New Hampshire

      I was very upset by this event, which almost killed me today. Three late-teen boys were going over 90mph and weaving through traffic on I-93 North. I was in the right lane and was coming up on a minivan that was in the middle lane. This little red Honda came zooming up behind the minivan and zipped in-between the minivan and cut in front of me. If I didn’t see them coming up so damn fast in my peripheral vision and jump on my brakes, they would have slammed into both me and the minivan. I laid on the horn and they all looked back at me and laughed. It’s so frustrating when people have such a flagrant disregard for other people’s lives.

      July

      Endangering Massachusetts

      Endangering Massachusetts

      For the sake of my writings

      Inspiration in the wrong place

      Ideas hitting at the wrong time

      Scrounging for a pen

      Writing on a napkin

      Trying to jot the mot

      While doing seventy five

      Trying to write it right

      While I drive the lie home

      July 7, 2003

      Manchester, New Hampshire

      The first two lines were in Line Ideas for almost two months. On my way back from hanging out with friends, I got an idea and I wrote it down on an empty donut box because it was the only paper I had handy. This is about getting that inspiration while in the wrong place.

      Who You Are

      If you have to compromise

      Then you’re not living your life

      You’re living someone else’s

      Don’t set aside your principles

      Or your beliefs and subvert

      Your personality to anyone

      Don’t let them take away

      Who you are

      Because they will, if given

      Even the slightest of a chance

      Try to make you another generic

      Faceless clone of a consumer

      Don’t you ever give in

      Don’t become one of them

      Do what you love the most

      Be true to yourself and

      Enjoy life to the fullest

      July 7, 2003

      Manchester, New Hampshire

      I Can’t Wait

      I wish I could be famous

      Then I’d be somebody

      Then I wouldn’t be lonely

      Anymore anymore anymore

      Then I’d be someone

      Instead of the nobody that I am

      It’d be great it’d be amazing

      To have so many friends

      To have someone

      To have everyone love me

      To have everyone say hi

      To be noticed when I walk

      To have people listen when I talk

      I can’t wait to be somebody

      = = = = =

      I wish I could be nobody

      Then I’d be somebody

      Then I wouldn’t be lonely

      Then I could find someone

      Who loves me for me

      Not for who I am

      Or what I’ve achieved

      Then I wouldn’t be lonely

      Anymore anymore anymore

      Then I’d be someone

      Because I’d be no one

      It’d be great it’d be amazing

      To have a few close friends

      To have someone who loves me

      To not be criticized all the time

      To not be surrounded by strangers

      Who claim to be friends

      Who want something from me

      To have my close friends

      Who have always been there

      And for once not to be scared

      I can’t wait to be nobody

      July 13, 2003

      Manchester, New Hampshire

      I have no idea what brought this one on. I was listening to “Mr. Jones” by the Counting Crows (a live acoustic version) and I opened Word and started writing. Now that I think about it, I guess I was lamenting about being lonely and how if I was famous, I wouldn’t be anymore. Then I realized how silly that was.

      Thick Air

      Mid-summer evening

      The humidity is so oppressive

      Submerging, steaming everyone

      Beyond endurance, beyond sense

      I get out of my air-conditioned car

      And my glasses fog up immediately

      When I step into the densely thick air

      I let out a wet gasp as the heat and

      The humidity dump on an drench me

      I make a break for the front door

      Fumble with the keys and go inside

      And shiver as the coolness shocks me

      The air conditioners are cranking hard

      Cool air never felt so good

      July 27, 2003

      Manchester, New Hampshire

      August

      Constant Glaring Imperfections

      Face to face with that guy

      I’ve known all my life

      I’m so critical of him

      I never have anything nice to say

      Why do I hate him so much

      Maybe it’s him mimicking me

      Or maybe it’s his hundreds of faults

      So plainly visible for all to see

      He needs to lose weight

      He needs a haircut

      He needs to color his hair

      He looks unhappy

      Yes I do

      The weight of a lifetime

      Of negative impressions

      Given off by people I know

      Absorbed into my conscious

      Radiating from the real me

      Onto the mirrored me

      Probably why I never smile

      When I’m standing staring

      Here at me looking at me

      I’m always happy with

      Everything everyone I know

      Except when I’m here

      Except when I see him

      In his persistent state of

      Constant glaring imperfections

      And I hate me for letting

      Him become like that

      So far from where I was

      So far from where I want to be

      August 2, 2003

      Manchester, New Hampshire

      Looked into the mirror tonight and this is what I saw.

      When Pigs Fly

      You two, starting life anew

      With your plans and your hopes

      But you were surrounded by those

      Who said they were “unattainable,”

      Some said it wouldn’t ever happen

      Some said it would “when pigs fly.”

      So, you rolled up your sleeves

      And got to work

      Building a life

      Building a house

      Together forever

      A lot of hard work

      Went into building both

      So they would be

      Strong enough to last

      Any storm that arises

      Strong enough to face

      Any of life’s surprises

      And be a place where

      Both of you can live

      In love and happiness

      In joyful wedded bliss

      In the home that you

      Built together

      Well here it is

      Living proof that pigs can fly

      You proved everyone wrong

      You proved it to yourselves


      You can do anything

      August 12, 2003

      Manchester, New Hampshire

      Written as a house-warming present/wedding gift for my ex-mother-in-law and her fiancé. I couldn’t find any good wedding cards from an ex-son-in-law (or any for that matter). The copy of this poem I gave them had a background photo I took of the woods from their back porch.

      Electric Vacation

      Why is my cordless phone growling at me

      Nothing wrong with it as far as I can see

      Oh wait, why isn't my vcr blinking 12:00

      Oh shit, I think the power's out

      My mind racing, I start thinking

      Do I have supplies to keep me going?

      I cracked open a cold beer

      And rethought my initial fear

      Shrugging off the terror angle

      I kicked back and started reading

      And occasionally found myself thinking

      Wow, it's really hot

      And catching myself reaching

      To turn on the fan

      Silly stupid me for falling

      For my habits

      Instead of being smart and realizing

      Duh, there's no power

      After a while it got too dark to read

      And I looked out on the street below me

      And saw the almost unimaginable

      Of the calm excitement of a city

      In the middle of an electric vacation

      And for a night we were all free

      From our computers and our TVs

      Enjoying each other's company

      The silence was wonderfully overwhelming

      As it was happily lulling me to sleep...

      I awoke to a start

      With the sun in my face

      And all over my place

      Were the hungry appliances

      And other electrical things

      Just waking up from their

      Unaccustomed sleep

      Yelling at me

      Vying for my attention

      Wanting me to reset them

      Swimming in a storm of hassle

      I think back how nice and simple

      My electric vacation was

      And how I wish I could go back

      Just for one more day

      August 17, 2003

      Manchester, New Hampshire

      I wrote this one based on this… https://www.oddtodd.com/message146.html - “The Oh So Nice Blackout Of 2003” on OddTodd.com. The phrase “electric vacation” just struck me and I had to write about it. This is the third week in a row that I’ve been Monday’s Poet. Oh the link for it is… https://www.oddtodd.com/monday57.html

      Continual Constant

      The life that never changes

      The ones who live entrenched

      In the continual constant

      And are unwaveringly steadfast

      In their desire in their need to be

      Living the perfectly straight line

      Are the ones who are stuck on

      The road that others paved for them

      The road re-driven over and over again

      Never wanting to drive off that road

      Never thinking about what else may

      Be out there because they’re scared

      Of the unknown of it all

      Of the chance they might fall

      Off the road they’ve known

      Off the road always traveled

      In a way I feel sorry for them

      The ones who won’t deviate

      Or change their sameness

      Not even for something new

      And wonderfully amazing

      Because it’s different from the

      Laid-out organized orderly life

      They’ve known since whenever

      I used to kinda be like them

      Back when life seemd almost

      Perfectly predetermined for me

      But I’ve since broken free

      And I’m living life just for me

      August 23, 2003

      Manchester, New Hampshire

      The title of this has been in Line Ideas for more than half a year at least. I just ran with it tonight and got this. Kinda my commentary on those 100% straight-laced people who are determined to make sure their lives never change an ounce.

     

      Dead End On A One Way Street

      Dead end on a one-way street

      And we’re driving the wrong way

      We’re driving the wrong way yet again

      And you won’t listen to what I say

      The chance we’ll survive is getting thin

      But you’re oblivious to the oblivion

      That you’re speeding us into, aren’t you

      Never doubted your driving abilities

      Let me out so I can be the one who sees

      As the car we’re in and the lives inside

      Are totally wrecked right before my eyes

      I want to see it from every spectacular angle

      I want to live it from every vantage point

      I want to stand back and watch me fly

      Right though the windshield and die

      Be the one who’s bleeding

      Be the story that’s leading

      On the six o’clock news

      Adding to the media’s monopoly of fear

      Just because my friend was slow to steer

      No more 15 minutes of fame

      Now it’s compressed into one

      Since attention spans are gone

      And sound bytes are more fun

      August 23, 2003

      Manchester, New Hampshire

      The first three lines of this have been in Line Ideas for over a year. I finally got the whatever to finally write the rest of this from those lines. It started out as something much different than it ended up as. I like the concept, but it’s too rhymey.

      September

      Woodstove?

      Still somewhat summer

      When I noticed the

      Distinct smell on the air

      Puzzled, squinched,

      Pondered tilted faces,

      Thinking, trying to guess

      Burnt wood wafting

      Nice aroma, but wrong

      Very wrong for the season

      It takes us a minute

      To smell it

      To figure it out

      The aroma finally

      Clicks at the same time

      Meant as more of a question

      Than an exclamation

      As we both say in unison

      “Woodstove?”

      September 7, 2003

      Manchester, New Hampshire

      A few years ago I was walking with someone and we smelled this smell. It took a minute or two to figure it out and we both said it at the same time in the same questioning tone…, “Woodstove?” Last night I was at the Target in Salem, NH with my boss and we smelled this smell that seemed out of place. He thought it was pot at first, but I said, “Woodstove?” and I laughed out loud to myself. He thought I was weird.

      Quiet Oxidation

      Quiet oxidation

      Rusted undisturbed

      Not bothering anyone

      Nothing all that fun

      Slowly eating

      Metal sheeting

      Of that old building

      Slowly browning

      Making frowning

      Of those seeing

      The blight around

      But I find that

      Beauty abounds

      And want to draw it

      In its stark perfectness

      In the comparing

      And the contrasting

      Of the area and the rust

      Something that I must

      Capture and record

      Too bad I suck at art

      September 11, 2003

      Manchester, New Hampshire

      I saw the phrase, “rusted undisturbed,” today online and it inspired me to write this. I honestly think there’s a good amount of beauty in rusted buildings. When I l
    ived in Chelsea, Massachusetts, every so often I’d take the long way back home to get to Route 16 West and while waiting at the light at the intersection of whatever street and Route 16, I’d sit and look at this abandon rusted green-painted metal building which I always wanted to come and draw it because it looked so neat. The light always changed before I’d come to the realization that I suck at drawing.

      33336

      33336

      Was what I saw

      When I stopped my car

      Shit, I missed it by three miles

      September 28, 2003

      Manchester, New Hampshire

      This happed last week I think. It has to be because I’m over 34,000 miles now. When I left a friend’s house last Sunday morning, I made sure to tell myself to keep an eye out so I could see the odometer reach 33,333 miles. I just think it’s really cool to see stuff like that…and I missed it by three lousy miles. Geez.

      October

      Moonlit Contrails

      Driving home kind of late

      On an early autumn night

      Mistingly damp out there

      With a sharp cold bite

      The type of night where

      Halloween would feel

      Creepily at home and right

      I steal a glance to my left

      And briefly see the moon

      Peeking out from the clouds

      After a few more miles

      I catch the bright from

      The corner of my eye

      Up there somewhere

      To my left in the sky

      A quick look up

      Off the road showed

      Most of a moon with

      The shooting arms

      Of several appendages

      Looked like a moon in action

      Tossing, throwing,

      Reaching, grabbing,

      Projecting something

      Eyes back on the road

      Thinking wondering

      About what I just saw

      Empty highway ahead

      So I take another chance

      And get a longer glance

      At the intriguing interesting sight

      Widening and fading

      Moonlit contrails

      Almost intersecting in the night

      Why didn’t I realize what it was

      Before I considered personification

      Of the rock hanging in the sky

      As I drove on towards home

      I tried not to look up to my left

      Sillily thinking that if I did

      I would see the long arm

      Of the moon looking reaching

      Not up like it was before

      But this time down

      Towards me

      For me

      October 5, 2003

      Manchester, New Hampshire

      I worked from 3-11pm tonight at my hotel as the manager on duty. On my way home, around 11:30pm, I looked up and saw the moon just starting to poke out from the clouds. I thought it was creepy considering that it was raining up until a little while ago and the air was still misty with dampness. The moon slowly broke through the clouds, which added more to the creepiness of the setting. A few minutes later, I looked up to see that it had cleared up enough around the moon so it was completely visible…and I saw the contrails around it, which, at first glance, looked like arms. It was like the moon was throwing something or reaching out. When I got home I wrote this.

     


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