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    Trying Not To Blink: A Poetry Collection

    Page 4
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      And slow down enough

      To be savored and enjoyed.

      That special day where

      Families can be together.

      That special day filled

      Tip-top-full with plans

      Every week since forever.

      That special day

      Gone, done, and over

      Much too soon

      A friend with a daughter,

      Growing much faster

      Than they had anticipated,

      Recently observed and noted,

      “There are only

      940 Saturdays

      In a childhood.

      When put into perspective

      It doesn’t seem like quite enough,

      Does it?”

      Reading her words,

      I look from the calendar,

      To the darkened window,

      To the clock on the wall

      Arms spinny and ablur,

      And I would have to say

      That I agree with her

      May 9, 2012

      Northampton, Massachusetts

      A friend posted those two lines on her Facebook the other day and it’s been stuck in my head ever since.

      Lacquered Dreams

      Earlier today, a phrase popped into my head:

      “Lacquered dreams.”

      I don’t know what it is, or even what it means

      But it gave me pause enough to write it down.

      I could spend considerable time devising a meaning

      Or I could just forget I ever coined the words.

      Whatever they are,

      I just hope I don’t have them when I go to bed

      May 12, 2012

      Northampton, Massachusetts

      I was going to save this phrase to use in a book I plan on writing in a few years, but thought I’d use it now. Besides, I can freely plagiarize myself later all I want.

      Words Overheard

      While waiting in the hallway

      Of a depressing government building

      I overheard an older man

      Chatting up a younger woman

      His haughty words slimed their way to my ears,

      “I’m of the old style. I get right to the point.”

      Which would have been fine to say

      If his mouth closed and was followed by

      Nothing but joyous silence.

      Instead, a stream of words meandered and droned –

      Bragging, boasting, and retelling;

      The words flowed, filled, and drowned me with his voice

      Until I could take no more and dove for the door

      May 12, 2012

      Northampton, Massachusetts

      This guy was so annoying. I had to get something signed and stood down the hall from his irritating “I’m so great,” voice for about twenty minutes while waiting for someone else to return to their office. I couldn’t take it anymore and actually interrupted him and asked him to sign it. He proceeded to ask dickish and unfunny things before signing it, all the while trying to act witty and humorous for the woman.

      Welcoming

      I entered the room

      Holding tight to a heavy box

      The air thick and dense

      Holding fast to the aroma

      The smell of fresh paint

      Welcoming us to our new home

      May 25, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      We moved into our new home a few days ago, but have been thinking about it since then. There’s something wonderful and just-right about the smell of fresh paint in a new place. It really cements the idea of a new beginning.

      JUNE

      Ethan Allen Express

      My eyes are closed

      As we travel onward

      The gentle swaying

      The soft rocking

      The faint screeing

      As we turn slightly

      The other passengers whisper

      In sub-library hushed tones

      Easily concealed by the air blower

      Care-free and relaxed

      I lean back and take a nap

      And wait to arrive at my destination

      June 3, 2012

      On board the Ethan Allen Express in New York state

      Kari and I are on our way to New York City where her new book, Grow Your Handmade Business, is debuting at BookExpo America.

      Reel Mower

      Handle in my sweaty hands

      Constant phlegmy sound

      As the blades spin

      Propelled by my pushing

      Until a stick sticks things up

      Stopping me in my tracks

      Handlebar hitting my chest

      For the fourteenth time

      In as many minutes

      Nothing real about this

      Except for the pain in my ass

      And the constant longing

      For a sleek and sprinty

      Mower made for riding

      June 17, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      While it seemed like a great idea at the time (“Let’s be green!” and “We’ll get lots of exercise!”), trying to mow a very hilly, weedy, and obstacley 1.5 acre yard with a non-motorized push mower has been a very difficult and frustrating ordeal.

      Toys On A String

      Toys on a string

      That don’t run on batteries

      Are so two generations ago

      These days it’s nearly impossible

      To put your hands on a yo-yo

      Because it’s reached the end of its rope

      And the invisible hand

      (Which has no heart)

      Is reaching for a pair of scissors

      To cut it free

      To keep the market

      Free of distractions

      Free of things without

      Planned obsolescence

      June 17, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      To be honest, I’d rather reach for the blinky electronic toy.

      JULY

      Night Lights

      Three-quarters past twilight

      I’m enjoying the spreading night

      Crescent moon with black disk

      Saturn and Mars along for the ride

      Fireflies in the trees and fields

      Fading lighter dark horizon

      International Space Station arcing above

      I’m surrounded by night-lights

      Stunning and inspiring, each and every one

      None of which were seen

      By the rest of the residents in the village

      Captured and entranced

      By the blue flickering hue

      Direct from their TVs

      July 1, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      So much beauty to see, yet it often goes unseen by modern eyes.

      The Morning Ritual

      I press the button

      Starting the morning ritual

      Hers, not mine

      I inhale deeply

      The rich aroma

      Is one I love

      Causing my mind

      To think of days past

      Making my spirit

      Smile and relax

      Despite the opposite effect

      It has when you drink it

      But I wouldn't know

      Since I don't partake

      In the world's morning beverage

      Well, I guess I do

      In my own special way

      July 1, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      Every morning I start Kari’s coffee for her. I can’t stand the taste of it, but wow, I enjoy the smell of coffee.

      Softer and Prettier

      Try as they might

      When they gather

      Tomorrow night

      They will discover

      Sometime between

      Arriving and the second drink

      After the initial excitement wears off

      And see the age accelerated acquaintances

      People they would have passed

      Unnoticed on the street


      But upon closer inspection

      Of the evening's situation

      When the stark scars of time

      Separating the different versions

      Of those there and themselves

      Sink in

      Causing more

      Drinking

      Clinging desperately to the past

      Because memories don't age

      But get softer and prettier with time

      More trips to the bar

      To blur the edges

      Soften the lines

      And ease the lies of today

      "It seemed just like yesterday,"

      They will say, as it begins to feel like

      Twenty years were gone in a day.

      The discovery lost for the evening

      Under the weight of too many ounces

      But will burn bright in the morning

      When they realize the hard lesson

      You can attempt to recreate the past

      By gathering the same people

      In the same place in the same town

      Desperation isn't a binding agent

      And time travel isn't possible

      So even if the details are in place

      There's no way to get it back

      You're still decades removed

      And it's impossible to relive the past

      July 20, 2012

      South Deerfield, Massachusetts

      My 20 year high school reunion is tomorrow night and I feel an inordinate amount of internal angst regarding it. I hadn't planned on being in the area, but here I am just an hour away by car. And I could find things to do tomorrow to occupy the day so I could attend it…but I don't want to. But then again, I do. I have strong and compelling reasons for both, but the call of my present and future is so much stronger.

      I feel like I'm in a car and traveling on the road of life (horrible expression, I know) and the reunion is my past calling me back twenty years. The thing is, I'm on my way to new and interesting places. I don't want to turn my car around, lose my forward momentum, and focus on the past, not even for a single evening. I want to push on to new and much better things.

      For some reason, "Suburban War" by Arcade Fire has been fueling this poem and my feelings. I've had it on repeat tonight.

      Note (7/23/12): I’ve been looking at the pictures people have posted on Facebook of the reunion and it looked like a great time. Now I really regret not going. Wah-wah-wahhh (sad trumpet sound).

      Caught In The Middle

      I identify with those who live in the city

      (apart from the rudeness)

      In beliefs, motivations, and sensibilities

      And while it’s nice to visit from time to time

      I find it overwhelming with too many and too much

      I could never make the brusque life my own

      I can relate with those who live in the country

      (apart from the rudimentariness)

      In surroundings, seasons, and scenery

      And while it’s good to stay for a spell

      I find it under-stimulating with too little, too far

      I could never make the rural life my own

      I need to find a good balance of the two

      While abstaining from the pre-planned suburbs

      Somewhere close to what I need and crave

      A place brimming with character

      Where the creative community thrives

      Someplace perfect I haven’t found yet

      July 23, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      I now live in rural Vermont and while I like the scenery and the remoteness so I can write without distraction, I dislike the forty-minute drive just to go to the supermarket. At the same time, I was miserable living in Boston for the opposite reasons. It was nice to have everything so close, but it was too much, but also little to no scenery. Northampton, Massachusetts was pretty close to perfect, but I still want to check out other places before I settle down permanently.

      Drowned

      Changed

      Walked

      Looked

      Beached

      Stripped

      Sunned

      Crisped

      Toed

      Dipped

      Splashed

      Smiled

      Splashed

      Enjoyed

      Splashed

      Climbed

      Docked

      Jumped

      Merged

      Rocked

      Cracked

      Pained

      Gasped

      Gluged

      Dimmed

      Dulled

      Slowed

      Stopped

      Drowned

      July 23, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      The tragic story of a person who went to a beach on a lake, jumped off a dock, and hit their head on a rock under the water. Brief, yet it still paints a picture in your mind. Did you notice how the only words with two syllables are the happy words? It’s funny how that worked out.

      Night-Lights

      I look up at the night-lights:

      Crescent moon with a black disk

      Saturn, Jupiter, and Mars

      Solid space station star sliding by

      Fireflies in the trees and fields

      Fading, barely-there, horizon light.

      None of which were seen

      By the rest of the residents in the village

      Captured and entranced

      By the blue flickering hue

      Direct from their TVs inside;

      Protected and blinded

      By the bright white security lights

      Shining from every property outside.

      I head up the hill and put the town behind me

      Lie down, look up, smile, and stare in wonder.

      July 23, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      As I write this, there’s a big, booming thunderstorm warring outside, so this one wasn’t written by anything I saw tonight. It was inspired by an evening walk I went on a few weeks ago, when I looked up and happened to see the International Space Station gliding overhead.

      NOTE! – I was not aware that I had already written a poem called Night Lights earlier this month. Apart from a line or two that are the same, this one came out very different. I think I’m going to keep it in here.

      I’m Sitting A Little Higher In My Seat This Morning

      I’m sitting a little higher in my seat this morning

      So much so that I had to adjust my rear view mirror

      Not that I’ll need it

      Why? Well, just because

      Everything is going right

      From the blue skies above

      To the road rolling below

      And everything in-between

      I tilt the mirror so all I see is me

      The place where my happiness

      Starts and stays until the end of days

      The smile on my face is telling

      That I choose to be the happiest I can be

      I roll down the windows and turn up the music

      Living in the moment

      And enjoying life that much more

      July 29, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      Heh. The funny thing is that I’m grumpy on this overcast day. I opened my Line Ideas file and saw the first two lines of this poem sitting in there. I wrote that a couple of weeks ago on a day when I felt so amazing and alive. I guess I still feel that way, underneath the layers of cranky crud.

      I Killed Emily Dickinson

      I killed Emily Dickinson last night

      She met up with a horrible fate

      Struggled, fell, choked, and died

      The thing is, I feel no remorse

      It’s not that I’m often a murderer

      It had to happen to move things along

      Which makes me sound unfeeling

      But I have a good enough reason

      I did it because I’m an author

      And she’s my lead character

      But don’t you worry one bit

    &nb
    sp; Because she rose from the dead

      This very Sunday morning

      And is about to get her revenge

      On me? Ha! No, it’s not possible.

      The unseen controller

      Is never held accountable

      For anything they orchestrate

      So I get off scott-free

      And she gets a chance

      To live through another story

      July 29, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

     

      I’m finishing up the Emily Dickinson, Superhero story, Austin In Boston and had to kill her off last night. No problem, though. She came back in the next chapter.

      Sunkist Sun

      Sunkist sun

      Shining down

      Warming up

      Everything and everyone

      The tanners love it

      But do they understand it?

      Do they appreciate

      The delicate balance

      The spacely dance

      Of astrophysics

      Perfect distance

      And nuclear radiance?

      I don’t think they do.

      Lying on the beach

      Their trivial concerns

      Are far too important

      To give a moment

      And think about

      Our local star

      And the life

      It gives,

      Maintains,

      And makes possible

      July 29, 2012

      Benson, Vermont

      I spend a lot of time appreciating the whole perfectness of the cosmos and how everything fits together so seamlessly. Every once in a while, I look around and wonder if the average person ever thinks about such things. Judging by how popular “reality” shows are, I’m probably going to say, sadly, no.

      AUGUST

      Shoulder the Stream

      Popular spot - coastal Maine

      Lower-end national chain

      Supplies the motel setting

      Of the unheard of thing

      That you may not believe.

      I entered the bathroom

      Intent on taking a shower

      I spun the chrome-colored

      Plastic handle mostway to H

      And pulled up the pin

      Like a grenade

      It caught me unaware

      As the water blurred past

      And sounded as if it was trying

      To drill through the wall

      My finger rose up and touched

      Only to be kicked back

     


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