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    Perfect Worlds Omnibus

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      “ButIdon’tloveher.Ionlyloveyou,”Taisaid.HenoddedtoVal.“She canhavewhateverelseshewants,butyouandIhavetobetogether.”

      Karimetherfriend’seyesandthennodded.“Allright:ontwoconditions.”

      “Namethemandthey’reyours,mylove.”

      “First,youdolikeyousayandgiveValwhateverelseshewants.”

      “Kari,no—”

      “Shutup,Val!”shegrowled.“Andsecond:youchangeeverythingback thewayitwasbeforewefoundtheStoneofChange.”

      “Everything?”

      “EverythingexceptwhatValandIaskfor.Allthegirlsattheclub,allthe girlsatTaiCorp,evenMissKilgore,theyallgobacktowhatevertheywere

      beforeyoucamebackherewiththestone.”

      “That’saprettysteeppricetopay.MaybeIshouldjustusethestoneto makeyouloveme.”

      “You’vealreadytriedthat,haven’tyou?”

      “Isupposeyou’reright.”Kriseerubbedherchin,deepinthought.Then hereyesmetKari’s.“Verywell,butIhaveoneconditionofmyown.”

      “Whatisit?”

      “I’llgiveyoubackyourpreciousmatriarchy,butthetechnologyisn’tgoing tomovemuchfartherthanitisnow.Nospacestationsorshipsoranythingbut satellites.”Kriseegrinnedathim.“Iwouldn’twantyoutwogoingbacktothat planettotryandfindouthowtogetridofthestone.”

      Kariconsideredthis.Shewouldhavepreferredeverythingbethewayit was,butsheunderstoodTai’sreasoning.Andhewasgivingupfarmorethan she’dhopedforalready.“Icanagreetothat.Butassoonasit’sdone,youaren’t goingtochangethingsbackwiththestone.MaybeyouthinkIwon’tnotice,but Iwill.SoonerorlaterI’llfindout.”

      “Iunderstand,mylove.”KriseetookahandoffKari’swristtostrokeher hair.ThetouchfeltsofamiliarthatKarialmostwept.“Thenwehaveadeal?”

      “Yes,wehaveadeal.”

      Epilogue

      Theyracedtothetopofthesteps,Karimakingitfirst.Shetossedher backpackontotheporchandthenraisedherarmsintriumph.“Ibeatyou!”she shouted.

      Kriseejoinedheronthetopstepandgrinned.“Youwantyourprizenow?”

      “Sure.”

      Karialwaysclosedhereyeswhentheykissednow.Solongasshekepther eyesclosed,shecouldtrickherselfintobelievingitwasstillKriseewithher armsaroundKari’swaist,Krisee’slonghairbrushingagainstherarm,and Krisee’stongueinhermouth.IfsheopenedhereyesandlookedintoKrisee’s, thenshewouldrealizetheywerereallythoseofTaiLecauandshewouldhaveto rememberthatshewashisslavenow,perhapsforever.

      KriseepulledhertonguebackandthenbrushedhernoseagainstKari’s neck.“Yousmellsogood,”Kriseewhispered.

      “Ithinkyourmom’smakingcookiesactually,”Karisaid.

      “Yeah,probably.”

      Kriseetookherhandandledherinside.Karihadjustenoughtimetoscoop upherbackpackbeforeshewassweptinside.Assoonasthescreendoor bangedshut,Valshouted,“Hikids!Ijusttooksomecookiesoutoftheoven.”

      ThefarmhousewasalotsmallerthanTai’sestatehadbeen,makingjusta shorttripthroughtheimmaculateparlorbeforetheyreachedthekitchen.Val alreadyhadtwoplatesofchocolatechipcookiesandtwoglassesofmilkonthe counter.Shestoodbytheoven,wearingablueplaidhousedressandalighter blueapron.Sheself-consciouslypattedtheblackhairstyledasKari’shadbeen asaseven-year-oldandthenadjustedherglasses.“Howwasschool?”

      “Itwasfine,likeusual,”Kriseesaid,soundinglikeanynormalsullen teenager,nottheshadowruleroftheentireplanet.

      “That’sgood,honey.IsKaristayingfordinner?”

      “Actuallyshe’sgoingtostaythenight—ifyoudon’tmind.”

      “Ofcoursenot.”ValgrinnedbroadlyatKari.“You’realwayswelcometo stayhere.How’syourgrandmother?”

      “She’sfine.”Karireallydidn’thavea“grandmother”livinginher apartmentintown;shesharedtheplacewithMissKilgore,whothankstothe StoneofChangehadrevertedbackintoaplumpelderlywomanwhospentmost ofherdaysleepinginhereasychair.

      “Tellherhelloforme.”

      “Iwill.”

      Kriseesnatchedhercookiesandmilkfromthecounter.Beforeshecould leave,Valstoppedher.Kari’sstomachchurnedalittleasValgotonhertoesto kissKriseeonthecheek.Itlookednormalenough,butKaricouldstillseethem astheyhadbeenattheclub.Notevenayearoflivinglikethiscouldshake thosememories.

      ShetookhercookiesandmilkupstairstoKrisee’sroom.Itlookedlikea normalroomforaslovenlysixteen-year-old,withclothestossedalloverthe place,despiteVal’scontinuedeffortstokeepitclean.Therewerepostersof theirfavoritebandsonthewallsanddiscsscatteredallover.

      Kriseesethersnackdownonhernightstandandthenploppedontothe bed.Shereachedintoherbackpackforafashionmagazine.“Ireallywishshe’d stoptreatingmelikeI’mten,”Kriseegrumbled.Thiswaspartoftheillusion theymaintained,thoughtheybothknewKrisee—Tai—couldusetheStoneof ChangeanytimeshewantedtomakeValtenyearsoldorintoanyotherthing shepleased.

      Withasigh,KaricollapsedontothebednexttoKrisee.Shestaredupatthe pinkgauzeofthecanopybed.Sheclosedhereyes,againtryingtotuneoutthe realityofthesituation.AssheandKriseetalkedinanelyaboutschool,Karitried nottoremembershewasaprisoner.

      ShetriednottorememberaswellthatValwasalsoaprisonerofherown making.Karihadhopedherfriendwoulddothesmartthingandgiveherselfa newlifefar,faraway.Instead,ValhadinsistedonlookingafterKriseeasher dotingmother.Karihadpulledherasideandpleadedwithhertoaskfor somethingelse.ButintheendValhadsaid,“Ihavetobeclosetoher.”

      “Butashermother?That’ssick!Whynotafriendor—”

      “Afriend?Why?SoIcanfeellikethethirdwheelallthetime?SoIhave tomakesomestupidexcusetocomeoverandseeher?”

      “Youwon’tbeabletodoanythingwithherifshe’syourdaughter.”

      “Doyouwantmetodoanythingwithher?Ithoughtyoutwoweregoingto besoooinlove.”Val’seyesnarrowedbehindherglasses.“Besides,youcan’t havetwoyoungteenagerslivingallbythemselves.Whowilldoallthecooking andcleaning?”

      Thathadbeentheendofthediscussion.AlmostimmediatelyVal’sgeeky bodyhadgrownanotherthirtycentimetersorso,almostevenwithKari’smuch youngerbody.Wheneverythinghadbeensettledthatnight,ValhadtakenTai—

      goingbyKriseenow—bythearmtoleadheruptobedwhileKarihadgone hometoher“grandmother”intown.

      “Kari?”

      “Huh?”

      “Iwasjustaskingifyouwantedtogouptothelakethisweekendsowe couldgetawayfrommymom.”

      “Oh,sure.Soundsgreat.Youthinkshe’llletus?”

      “I’lljusttellherMrs.Stinsonischaperoningagroupofus.”

      “Thatshouldwork.”

      KarifeltanervousflutterinherstomachwhenKriseerolledoverandrana handthroughKari’shair.“Comeon,Ithinkwehaveplentyoftimebeforeshe callsusfordinner.”

      “Ihopeso,”Karisaid.Thensheclosedhereyes.

      ***

      Therestofthenightwentbynormally.Theyatepotroastfordinner,which thankstotheStoneofChangegivingValsomecookingabilitywasn’tburnedor raw.Karitriednottopickatherfoodorlookdownsullenlyatherplate.She triedtoactlikeshewashavingagoodtime.Valalwaysseemedtohaveamuch easiertimeofthat;maybebecauseshehadreallylovedTai.

      Outofthecornerofhereye,KaricaughtaglimpseofTaiinthemirror.Not Krisee,thegirlshehadfalleninlovewith,butTaithecruelmanwhohad tormentedh
    erforalmosttwoyearsnow.SometimeswhenKriseesmiled,Kari caughtaglimpseofTai’ssmuggrinthatonlyneededacigarblowingsmoketo makeherthinkshewasbackintheTaiCorpofficesasabimbooratoddlerora midget.ThenshetoldherselftherewasnoTaiCorpanymore.Thankstoher sacrifice,Jeri,Sheri,andTeriwerebacktobeingwhoevertheyhadbeenbefore thismadness.

      Afterdinner,KariandKriseesatonthecouch,Kriseewithherarmaround Kariastheywatchedtelevision.Whentheeleveno’clocknewscameon,Krisee draggedKarioffthecouch.Onherwayout,shebentdowntokissVal’scheek.

      “Goodnight,Mom.”

      “Goodnight,sweetheart.Goodnight,Kari.”

      “Goodnight,Mrs.Kree.”LikeKari’s“grandmother”the“Mrs.”waspurely forshow;Valdidn’thaveahusbandandneverhad.

      KariletKriseeusethebathroomfirst.Shecameoutafewminuteslaterin onlyatanktopandshorts.ThetanktopallowedKaritoseetheprancing unicorntattooonKrisee’sarmwith‘Kari’writteninacloud;Karistillhada matchingoneforKriseeonheroppositearm.“Hurryback,”Kriseewhispered inherearbeforeKaristoodup.

      ButKarididn’thurry.Shesatonthetoiletforalongtime,headburiedin herhands.ShehadlearnedtokeephersobsquietsoKriseecouldn’thearthem.

      Thiswashernightlyritual,thoughatherapartmentshediditintheprivacyof herbedroomwhilehuggingSnowmane.

      Oncehertearshaddriedup,shestoodupandthenwenttothemirror.She brushedherteeth,spittingmorethanwasnecessaryintothesinktotryinvainto getthetasteoffailurefromhermouth.Sheransomecoldwatertocleanthe brushandthensplashedsomeontoherface.Inthelastyearherhairhadgrown abitlongerandherzitswerelessplentiful,butshewasotherwisethesameas whensheandKriseehadfirstexperimented.

      Shehadtobitedownonherliptokeepfromcryingagainatthose memories.Theworldhadbeenfarfromperfectinthosedays,butsheand Krisee’sworldhadfeltperfect.Whentheyweretogether,everythinghadfelt right.Butithadallbeenalie.EvenwhenshetriedtouseTai’slogicthatthe truthdidn’tchangeanything,shecouldn’thelpfeelingthosememorieshadbeen tainted.MaybeTaireallydidloveherasmuchasheclaimed,enoughtoliveas ateenagegirlforKari,butshecouldn’thelpthinkingitwasjustanothergame, albeitamuchmorecomplicated,drawn-outone.

      Kariwipedawaythelastofhermakeupandthendonnedthegrayshorts sheworetobed.Thelasttouchwasalwaystopopinherretainer,notthatshe keptitinhermouthlong.Themomentthelightswentout,Kriseetookthe retainerfromhermouthtokissKari.“Ick,Icanstilltasteit,”Kriseesaid.

      “I’msorry.”

      “It’sallright.I’mkindofgettingusedtoit.”

      Karipressedhereyesclosedwhiletheymadelove.Atleastitwasmaking loveforTai.Forheritwasjustfucking,likeawhoreinthebackseatofa stranger’scar.Hehadfinallysucceededindegradinghertoaprostitute,while makingitseemasifithadbeenherownchoice.

      ShewaiteduntilshewassureKriseehadfallenasleeptoturninherlover’s graspsoshecouldfacethewall.Againshecriedsilently,hatingherselfforwhat she’dbecome.Stillcrying,shefellasleepinKrisee’sarms.

      ***

      Karifeltsomethingcoldpressingagainstherback.Shereachedovertotry andpushitawayonlytofeelKrisee’sbreasts.Karigropedaroundwithher fingers,brushingKrisee’sbareshoulder,whichwasicecold.

      Withagaspsherolledontothebed,landingwithathud.Herbreath becameraggedasshescrambledtothinkofwhattodo.Krisee’sbodyhadfelt socold—likeacorpse.ThatwasallKaricouldthinkofasshecrawledforward.

      Shehadreachedthefootofthebedwhentheoverheadlightcameon, blindingher.Whenhervisioncleared,shefoundValsquattingdowninfrontof her.NotValtheprimlittlehousewife,butValthesoldier,resplendentinher greendressuniformwithitsglitteringribbons.“Val?”

      “Youneverreallydidunderstandwhatittooktobeasoldier,”Valsaid.

      “Val,whatdidyoudotoKrisee?”

      “YoumeantoTai?Seeforyourself.”

      ValofferedKariahand,pullingheruptoherfeet.AssoonasKariturned around,shethrewupherpotroastalloverthefloor.“Ohgee,nowI’mgoingto havetomopinhere,”Valsaidwithasnicker.

      Kriseestilllaysprawledonthebed,herbodystiffandpaleblue,which explainedthecold.SomehowwhileKarihadbeensleepinginKrisee’sarms, ValhadslitKrisee’sthroat.BefittingasoldierlikeValthecutwasexceptionally precise,justonelonggashthroughthejugular.“ItoldthatfuckerI’dgethim.

      YouknowIkeepmypromises.”

      OnlythendidKariturntothemirrorandseethebloodonthebackofher pajamas.SheletoutaterrifiedscreamaccompaniedbyValchuckling.“Oh, poor,littleKari.Youthoughtyouweresobrave,didn’tyou?Youweregoingto makethebigsacrificetosaveusall.You’dbeherlittlebitchforalleternityto sparetherestofus,right?”

      KariwasgratefulValputanarmaroundhershoulderbeforeshecould faint.Valstoodwithher,bothofthemlookinginthemirror.“ButlikeIsaid, youdon’tknowwhatit’sliketobeasoldier.Youdon’tunderstandstrategy.

      Youdidn’trealizesometimestowinthewaryouhavetoloseafewbattles.”

      Therealizationbegantosetin.“Youwereplayinghim?Fakingthatyou lovedhim?”

      “OnsomelevelIdidlovehim,atleastIconvincedmyselfIdid.Butthat wasjustcamouflage.Hemademeabimbowhowouldswoonoveraguywith big,hardmusclessothat’swhatIbecame.Allexceptinhere.”Shepointedto herheart.“Itoldyouthat,didn’tI?NomatterwhathedidIwasstillasoldier inside.”

      “Buthowdidyoukillhim?Whydidn’thestopyou?”

      “Evengodsneedtorestonceinawhile.Andifthere’sonethingIknew aboutTai,it’sthathewasoverconfident—typicalofmales.Heassumedhe’d brokenus,gottenbothofustodancetohistune.Hell,heevenhadusfighting overhim.SoafterayearofplayingMommyDearest,hedidn’treallythink aboutitanymore.Plus,hewassoooobusyswooningoveryou.”

      ValranahandthroughKari’sdarkredhair,someofthatdarkrednow beingblood,shewascertain.“Icanseewhy.Imean,youareprettycutelike this,evenwiththezitsandtheglasses.”

      KariturnedsoshecouldlookintoVal’sactualeyesassheasked,“Thefight wehad,allthosethingsyousaidaboutnotlovingme,wasthatpartoftheact too?”

      Valshookherhead.“Thatwasthetruth.Iwasgoingtodumpyou,Kari.

      Assoonaswegotbackhere,Iwasgoingtoletyouhaveit.Iwouldhave brokenitalotnicerthaninthestoreroom,though.Forthat,I’msorry.”

      Karilookeddownatthefloor.“Soyoudon’treallyloveme.”

      “I’msorry,kid.Iwishthingsweredifferent,butyoucan’tchange someone’sheart.That’ssomethingthatassholeneverlearned.”

      ThementionofchangepromptedKaritolookbackatTai’scorpse.Then shelookedbackatValinherresplendentuniform.Hermindhadbeeninsuch chaosthatithadn’toccurredtoKaritowonderwhereValhadgottenthat.“Val, whathappenedtothestone?”

      “Youmeanthis?”Valreachedbeneathheruniformjackettopullouta pendant,fromwhichdangledtheblackcrystal.“Youprobablyneverfiguredout whyyoucouldn’tusethestone,didyou?”

      “No.Ijustassumedtherewassomeritualheusedtomakeitwork.”

      “Notquite.Yousee,thattempleyouguysfound,itwasfortheirgodof mischief.Thisstoneherewaswhatallowedtheirprieststocommunicatewith him.”ValgrinnedatKariinawayverysimilartoTaiLecau.“Butnotjust anyonecouldtalktohim.Youhavetobesomeonewithdarknessinherheart.

      Thatdefinitelyisn’tyou,kid.”

      “Idid
    n’tthinkitwasyoueither.”

      “That’showlittleyouknowaboutme,Kari.Itoldyou,I’masoldier.You knowhowmanypeopleI’vekilled?ActuallyIdon’tevenknow.AllIcansay isthere’salotofbloodonthesehands.”

      “Butyouonlydidthattoprotectpeople.You’reahero.”

      “That’stheKariIremember.Ifyouevergotyournoseoutofthebooks, you’drealizeoneperson’sheroisanother’svillain.Sure,mostofthepeopleI killedweretotalscumbagslikeTaithere,buttherewerestillafewinnocentones too.Irememberthisonevillageweraided,therewasacutelittleblondgirl, probablyfouryearsold.Iputabulletrightthroughherhead.”

      “Why?”

      “Wecouldn’tleaveanyonealive,noteventhechildrenandoldfolks.They couldhavegonetothenewsservicesandthenwe’dallbeintheshit.”Karitook astepbackoutofshock.“Iknowwhatyou’rethinking.YouthinkI’ma monster.MaybeIam,butIwasprotectingPherafromitsenemies.”

      “Evenlittlegirls?”

      “Littlegirlsgrowup,don’tthey?”

      Karitookafewmoresteps,untilshewaspressedagainstthewall.When shelookedatValnow,shecouldn’tseethewomanshehadwantedtomarrytwo yearsago;shecouldonlyseeabutcherwithablood-stainedknife.“Are you...areyougoingtokillmenow?”

      “Ishould,butalltheshityouputmethrough—putthiswholeplanet through—Ithinkyoudeservetosuffer.”

      “Val,please—”

      “Don’tevensayit.Don’tsayyouloveme.Webothknowthat’sover.You can’teverlookatmethesamewayagain.I’llalwaysbedamagedgoodsnowin youreyes.”

      “Iwasn’tgoingtosaythat.Please,justkillme.Ifyoueverdidloveme, putmeoutofmymisery.”

      Valonlygrinnedatthisplea.“RememberwhatIsaid:IdidloveTaion somelevel,evenwhenIwasbakinghimcookiesandkissinghischeekthislast year.Nottomentionyouabandonedmeinthatpreschool.SoIthinkIoweyou this.”

      TheStoneofChangewinkedatKarifromtheendofitschain.Shedidn’t knowwhattoexpect,butitwasn’tasurprisetofindherselfshrinking.Val wouldprobablychangeherintoahelplessbabyandthenleaveherheretoeither berescuedordie.

     


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