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    Way More West

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      Be observant, but don’t overreact.

      In most cases you will be ignored

      Or worse, charged. If you have bad feelings

      About anyone around you, leave immediately

      But not with alarm—don’t look back

      Let your witness do that.

      Especially be wary of “friendly locals,”

      the original terrorists. Look around,

      Evaluate. Who is weak, who, in biting,

      Has swallowed the bullet?

      Nervous wrecks should definitely be avoided.

      Finally, avoid heated discussions.

      Don’t panic. Be cooperative.

      Never make gratuitous sudden movements.

      Eschew stickers like “Up the Army” or

      “I Love New York.” Hit the Deck. Leave Quickly.

      Above all, don’t be proud—

      In the event of fire you may have

      To crawl through heavy smoke.

      5 August ’88

      Boulder County Primate

      Progress: slow but inexorable

      He set out to buy the American Dream.

      First, he went to a yard sale

      and bought himself a yard.

      Then, he went to a garage sale

      and bought a garage.

      Next, he went to a porch sale

      and bought a big porch.

      Now all he needed was a swing

      and a house and a car.

      In the smoke of

      the “Western” media glee

      over the spilt blood

      laced with a little apprehension

      for reduced

      business. 7 June, 1989

      Free Market Chinoiserie

      There will never be enough BMWs

      for the stated Billion, there will never

      even be enough paper towel

      or gas barbecues or ever enough ribs

      or sauce for those short ribs. There will never

      be enough coupons to clip or scissors

      to clip them with—and there will never be

      enough accountants to count it all

      or paper to keep the accounts on

      or discs to store the accounts

      for which there will never be entries enough.

      Someone should tell them.

      31 December, 1989

      Kill’em & Bill’em

      The End

      Did you know that

      when they execute you in China

      they send your next of kin

      a bill for 1 Yang (28¢)

      to cover the cost of the bullet?

      This is the very definition

      of frugal management.

      Maybe Bush can learn something

      from Deng after all, maybe

      there’s a pow-wow under the kow-tow.

      It’s a good thing Reagan

      didn’t know about this practise.

      He’d have considered it tax relief.

      FROM WESTWARD HAUT

      El Peru/Cheyenne Milkplane

      PROLÄG

      Th’ acetylene sun hung over the Ocean of Oceans

      Flooding the quick afternoon of El Peru,

      Casting the World shade on the gasaer jungle of Amazonas

      Putting to bed the gene meat of the protein chains

      Fueling the epidemia of cheap labor,

      Cooking the slummy stews of cholera, cooling

      The constrictors with its withdraw’, slowly deepening

      The tone of the washed out neon, mocking

      The fitful tungsten strung along in the shadows where

      The Luminosa don their Chinese hardware.

      Across the tierra helada the temperature

      Plummets and cracks, beyond the altiplano

      And the Eastern Cordillera and the Plains

      The stranglers take another hitch, and the Lianas

      One last jack and hoist as they reach for the fleeing light.

      Everything trends toward gigantism, giant spiders

      [Theraphosidæ] “the bird eaters,”

      Roam the forest gloom, centipedes a metre long

      Who feed on native children drop from the canopy

      Onto the sanguinolent commerce of the jungle floor.

      Dynastes beatles the size of a fist, Water Boa

      With the girths of court eunuchs haunt the galleries.

      Butterflies, like the spectacular blue morphos

      With a span of 50 centimetres, whose flash

      Can be seen from more than a kilometre away

      Send errant heliographs in the twilight shade

      While within it swim fishes too terrible to class.

      The Nazca Plate subducts this neozoic mess

      Scorching the continental basement with frictional stress

      As out of this tectonic scene magmatic froth

      Erupts with showers of ’candescent trash

      And the expulsion mixing with an assault of basalt

      Spoils the thin wake of the El Peru/Cheyenne flight,

      And the passengers crowd the windows of our craft

      To ponder and growl and hail this mighty sight.

      ABOARD THE TAN AM WITH ODIN, A DOG OF JUDGEMENT

      ODIN is a dog of wealth and fortuna

      in a world where “its a dog’s life”

      is as often a human fate as not.

      He was heir to seventeen million held in trust

      through an uncontested settlement from his owner,

      a kindly and traditional old villager

      who still drove her great grandma’s electric car

      to market.

      Odin always felt embarrassment mixed

      with the pride natural to dogs when they ride

      whenever she took him out in the antique machine,

      with her blacklace glove on the tiller—

      for she was a sweetie and he was a killer.

      And lo, during the heyday of the Gipper

      the Seventeen Great Units had increased

      with the criminal returns of the times

      and left him loose, with the means to keep

      his noes in the air for the slightest shift

      in the millieu any new tunes from the venue.

      It was pleasing him now to be on the Cheyenne flight

      to the rendezvous, he certainly reckoned,

      with Yo Ochenta, Over the Road Pal & Paladin,

      Phaëthon of the Haul,

      known to most as simply ¡Joe!

      It pleased him not so well,

      we know that from a slight twitch of his docked tail,

      to be reading a film review by Pauline Kael

      in the New Yorker, a somewhat predictable slick

      he saw from time to time in el Peru,

      But when he came across her assertion

      “a bit of gonzo demagoguery that made me

      feel cheap for laughing,” Odin looked out the porthole

      at the Ocean of all Oceans and El Niño

      brewing some turbulence for the future,

      grand houses launched on the Malamud,

      an assembly of images awash in avarice.

      He retracted his tongue

      and breathed quickly through his back lips

      to dispel the Evil.

      He knew some Big Dogs along that coast.

      Some had Human drivers; usually Irish—

      Philipino grooms and oficianadas

      to sexus canus, who moaned, and cried out in public

      and who paid for every thing they wanted

      in gold and dismissed their critics with “¡Here!

      a Thousand Rubles—¡Go Home!” thrown

      with desdän into the street—a tango of contempt.

      He opens his mouth and his tongue

      lays out, a little off the side of his mouth—

      the pressure and dehydration intense in the cabin,

      the tortured meso-american spine curved below,

      the smoke of fresh volcanos smouldering

      from the rupturing subduction
    of the plate.

      Dogs were not meant to fly, he muttered,

      picking out the updated homonids from the Dogs . . . .

      If this was in the hairy days—five hundred thou B.C.,

      their bags would be cooler than they are. I am

      very happy not to be sharing their bloodtype.

      Our race has known them

      since they could walk on the ground

      —and carry a stick, ¡¡what magic!,

      what impromptu rule, what easy acquiescence

      to a minor threat, the invention of attention

      the future police wand, the First Rule . . .

      Aye, in those times they roasted us on that stick

      when their inflated ambitions

      made them sacrifice the entourage,

      the pack of dogs and the family of slaves.

      From carrion for scavengers

      to scavengers proper

      —it comes from hanging one’s tongue out

      but it takes more patience than magots.

      How they lost that hair no dog knows.

      But there are races that haven’t entirely—

      His attention reverts

      to the review under scrutiny:

      this #’s from the Time/Rom—pre

      Fujimori—what an airbus! he muttered.

      El Niño deploys grenages, updating the system . . .

      ... He recoiled his tongue and swallowed

      Having once toured the autotowns

      he knew Mr. Moore’s documovie from Saginaw

      electric bus, lunchbucketopolis

      one false move and you join the depression.

      Grim, raw Michigan-town reality—a strictly

      business-empire approach to class—let’um freeze

      don’t throw’em a blanket, they didn’t pay the rent.

      Da! Haul’em off¡!

      Pauline Kael should be exiled to Flint

      for that remark, he curred in a velvety undertone,

      or have a homeobox patch applied to her mouth.

      Did I hear you say A Homeo Box

      patch¿

      An ivory white female Saluki,

      legs long and fine, well muscled thighs,

      bred for blistering turns of speed

      looked up across the aisle—What box is that?

      shaken the long silky—feathered hair

      close hanging down her pertinent face.

      Odin smiled and tipped his impressive head.

      and looked across the Pacific,

      his tongue in midMouth—

      That is one soignée Gazelle Hound, he mused . . .

      that platinum mink stole is not from the tropiks . . .

      I said “I should have filed

      instead of clawed”—Simply a mental note,

      delivered aloud, in the style of my late mistress

      a diary of her reflections for my improvement

      That’s a human trait the world over,

      the desert beauty agreed, but rare in dogs she thought,

      flashing her hazel oval eyes—

      would you like to curl up over here? she suggested

      sweeping her long silky tail around her skimpy skirt.

      Odin studied the breed:

      Saluki from Saluq, an antient town

      of Arabia . . . way back North African & Asiatic line

      tall slender swift-footed keen-eyed hunters

      having long narrow skull long silky ears straight forelegs

      strong widely set hind legs, a long well-feathered tail

      and a smooth silky coat ranging over white to cream

      black or black & tan, Umm—this one’s pure cream.

      So Slughi, you wanta buckle down or not.

      What I’d like to do I’m apt to put off—and that’s

      good advice for die whole Welt.

      Besides, I like the prospect from here,

      and the space through which we converse be fixed,

      so unless we crash, we’ll never part

      until we reach that sticksy Wyo aerodrome

      which for now doth be our common destiny

      Whereupon he sailed a card over the bobbing head

      of a slobbering Biped child staggering in the aisle—

      CAVE CANEM

      picket fence perpetual security

      “We only bite what’s wrong”

      Specialties in Internecine War

      Valkyries for rent

      O.Odin, Prop—J’ai Beacoup du

      Chien

      Crosslink 4-15-7-8-9-10

      The percipient hound caught the card

      in her feathered paw, and scanning the text

      asked the winner of the Iron Cross

      What more happened in Peru

      under Llosa and Fujimori?

      Well, the Working Dog began,

      checking his Bulova Automatic,

      sticking his tongue out and yawning:

      The Pizarro brothers landed—kicked a little butt,

      toppled some Idols, melted down some effigy &,

      outlawed the chewing of leaf, brought it back again

      promptly when production dropped, Hey!

      cut off some head, requisitioned some treaz—

      Stop That! la chienne deli softly curred, I mean

      die Explosion before you enplaned &

      the nature of your ‘enterprise’ in Lima—

      if we can call it that, and why is a fine,

      “High Tona” dog such as yourself

      travelling on the suborbital?

      I’m talking about the ruckus in Caracas, about

      the commotion in Cali, was that your entourage

      or what? Were you accompanied or chased?

      A little of both—in my business

      it amounts to the same thing.

      But to reply to your question:

      I operated an academy in Lima

      until Very Very recently (he glanced

      at his Bulova)

      and actually my school is wherever I happen to be

      instructen die Businessmen to think like terrorists—

      it comes totally natural to them.

      That’s not surprising, given their inherent proclivities.

      Business is a form of terror—you leave the victim,

      the customer, even the mere low-end shopper wasted,

      drained of cash and will and shackled to the future—

      wage-slaves of les Rentiers.

      The difference is you don’t kill’em,

      you just pillage the village—

      it’s a licensed operation. When all has been stripped

      but the desire to go on, then you finance their revival

      at rates collectable only by goons wearing hats

      and driving automobiles with whitewall tires

      in crude and ostentatious former times

      but now enforced with a few ugly stabs at the keyboard.

      It’s called “Das Neubizznes.” It runs on Cheap Labor

      and this time it’s gonna stick.

      Oh cher, how chilling, shivered the sensitive Saluki—

      How do you do it?

      There are two approaches to private security.

      The Givem the Keys to the Benzi and Hope for the Best School,

      also known as Throw Money at Its Feet and Hope It Stumbles.

      (ie, playing on Biped susceptibilities, you understand) . . . .

      A patch of rough air brought on the seat-belt sign,

      and the artificial Tan Am voice

      pointing out the eternally obvious.

      Miss Saluki fusses with the hardware—Je deteste

      zees abominable biped arrangements!—and clicks it shut

      across the long curvature of her flank.

      Odin gazes out the window at a Banana Republic

      brightly lit by the tropical sun with some volcanoes

      scattered about, poking thru the mist, and mutters

      No, we Do have some bananas. Und das’s das Problem.

      . . . . And the other schoo
    l is My School,

      real paleomodern,

      hard edged defense, with a lota plate implied.

      Violence werks, that’s why your enemies use it liberally.

      Sendero (to take the immediately receding hegemoniacs)

      comes on with at least a bundle of dynamite, Minimum—

      they’re Very post-korrekt.

      I school my clients in throwing it back

      and before it hits they’ve got das Werthers outa their belt.

      When the homocorps

      walk out of my sandbagged academy

      they’ve danced around

      and jumped over live ammo, they’ve spun a car

      and hit the ground:

      when they leave home thenceforth they’ll be packing

      die Kanone, loaded & loose.

      It’s the New Bizz, and It is Booming—

      Terrorism is Business & Business is terror:

      A mercury switch could tilt even now in the hold

      where our undelivered cagéd bretheren are shivering

      and whimpering in their K-Mart Porta-Pets

      and we know those Kennel Ration Barkomaniacs

      in transit from one Retroapartment to another

      are right now howling their mindless brains out:

      or an engine could separate from the wing—bye bye

      mama I’m off to yokahama—criminal mechanic,

      neglecting to run the fatigue check, criminal executive,

      ordering a speedup. Look Out Sioux City,

      Look out Keokuk! Some got license, some don’t.

      Have a nice day, or Carpe Diem as the latin dogs say.

      One of my clients, indeed one of my Products,

      is the redoubtable (Very doubtable I should say)

      Stanley South—practically started a gusano farm of his own,

      used to take an airforce jet down to the Isthmus

      around tee-time just to load up with Pineapple.

      He was strickly into rough terrain

      but nobody could lay a finger on ’im—then

      Bingo! he founded Cocaland,

     


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