Richard Griffiths Slartibartfast
Henry Blofeld and Fred Trueman Themselves, Brockian Ultra-Cricket Instructors
Joanna Lumley Woman with the Sydney Opera House head
Chris Langham Prak
Leslie Phillips Hactar
Griff Rhys Jones Old Thrashbarg
Rula Lenska Voice of the Bird, All the Lintillas
Samantha Béart Random
Arthur Smith Barman
June Whitfield Raffle Woman
Stephen Fry Murray Bost Henson
Jackie Mason East River Creature
Christian Slater Wonko the Sane
Jonathan Pryce Zarniwoop Vann Harl
John Challis Prophet
Mitch Benn Pseudopodic Creature
Saeed Jaffrey Old Man on the Pole
Miriam Margolyes Smelly Photocopier Woman
Roy Hudd Max Quordlepleen
Fiona Carew Walkie-Talkie, Ship Launch voice, Hooker 2
Alison Pettitt Stewardess Bot, Wizened Little Old Lady, Stewardess, Hooker 1
Michael Cule Punter, Vogon Clerk, Vogon Helmsman, Computer
Chris Emmett Evil-Looking Bird, Canis Minor Pontiff
David Dixon Ecological Man, Zirzla Robot Leader
Simon Greenall Jim, Steward, Lifepod
Geoffrey Perkins Head of Light Entertainment Radio
Lorelei King Gail Andrews, Stewardess, Patient
Andrew Secombe Colin the Robot, Mr Bartlett
Ann Bryson BT Operator, Barmaid
Margaret Robertson Mrs Kapelsen
Nick Clarke Himself
Charlotte Green Herself
Peter Donaldson Himself
Sir Patrick Moore Himself
Neil Sleat Newsreader, Cameraman
Bruce Hyman Deodat, Prosser
Kevin Davies Taxi Driver
Theo Maggs Boy at Cricket Match
Tom Maggs Krikkit Civilians Four to Five Million, Heart of Gold Door, Runner
John Marsh The Announcer
and
Douglas Adams Agrajag
Jo Wheeler Production Assistant (Series 1), Production Manager (Series 2)
Laura Harris Production Assistant (Series 1)
Susie Matthews Production Assistant (Series 2)
Ken Humphrey Studio Effects
Paul Weir Additional Sound Design
Paul Deeley Sound Recording/5.1 Mix
John Langdon Script Editor
Paul ‘Wix’ Wickens Music
Philip Pope Krikkit Song
Dirk Maggs Writer/Director/Co-Producer
Helen Chattwell Producer
Bruce Hyman Producer
Transmission Dates
LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING
Episode
1 21.09.04, 6.30–7 pm Repeat 23.09.04, 11–11.30 pm
2 28.09.04 30.09.04
3 05.10.04 07.10.04
4 12.10.04 14.10.04
5 19.10.04 21.10.04
6 26.10.04 28.10.04
SO LONG, AND THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH
Episode
1 03.05.05, 6.30 pm Repeat 05.05.05, 11 pm
2 10.05.05 12.05.05
3 17.05.05 19.05.05
4 24.05.05 26.05.05
MOSTLY HARMLESS
Episode
1 02.06.05 31.05.05
2 07.06.05 09.06.05
3 14.06.05 16.06.05
4 21.06.05 23.06.05
Glossary of terms used in the scripts and notes
INT. Interior setting for the action, usually requiring an ambient acoustic.
EXT. Exterior setting, usually requiring little or no ambient acoustic.
FX: Sound effects (can either be live in studio or added afterwards).
Distorted Used for a voice heard, for example, through a telephone or radio.
Beat A pause between lines to (a) let a point sink in, and (b) remind the actors to breathe now and again.
Extended version The version on the commercially available CD, cassette and DVD-Audio, not edited to fit the BBC broadcast slot (27 minutes 30 seconds) but running to whatever length suited the story, usually five to ten minutes longer per episode.
THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY RADIO SCRIPTS
THE TERTIARY, QUANDARY AND QUINTESSENTIAL PHASES
Douglas Adams was born in 1952 and created all the various and contradictory manifestations of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: radio, novels, TV, computer game, stage adaptations, comic book and bath towel. He lectured and broadcast around the world and was a patron of the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund and Save the Rhino International. Douglas Adams was born in Cambridge, UK, and lived with his wife and daughter in Islington, London, before moving to Santa Barbara, California, where he died suddenly in 2001. After Douglas died the movie of Hitchhiker moved out of development hell into the clear uplands of production, using much of Douglas’s original script and ideas. Douglas shares the writing credit for the movie with Karey Kirkpatrick.
ALSO BY DOUGLAS ADAMS
The Hitchhiker series
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
Life, the Universe and Everything
So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish
Mostly Harmless
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: The Original Radio Scripts
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Film Tie-in
The Making of ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’
The Dirk Gently series
Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency
The Long Dark Tea-time of the Soul
The Salmon of Doubt
With John Lloyd
The Deeper Meaning of Liff
With Mark Carwardine
Last Chance to See . . .
By Terry Jones, based on a story/computer game
by Douglas Adams
Starship Titanic
Acknowledgements and Thanks
First and foremost, Jane Belson for unwavering support; Generalissimo Ed Victor and his lieutenants, Lizzy Kremer and Gráinne Fox; Christine Cuddy and Robert Bookman, who fought battles abroad; Helen Boaden, who made one brave executive decision after another; Nicky Hursell and Jacqui Graham, who were patient and persistent beyond the call of duty; Paul Deeley, whose fingerprints are to be heard (but not seen) throughout this book; the peerless Peer Lindgreen and Kevin Davies, who surpassed their brief; Christian Knowles for pestering; Jo Wheeler, Laura Harris, Ruth Waites and Susie Matthews, without whom these scripts would still just be a few email attachments.
And, of course, to the immortal Douglas Adams.
Dirk Maggs and Bruce Hyman
First published 2005 by Pan Books
This electronic edition published 2012 by Pan Books
an imprint of Pan Macmillan, a division of Macmillan Publishers Limited
Pan Macmillan, 20 New Wharf Road, London N1 9RR
Basingstoke and Oxford
Associated companies throughout the world
www.panmacmillan.com
ISBN 978-1-447-22758-8 EPUB
Copyright © Above The Title Productions 2005
Foreword copyright © Simon Jones 2005
Introductions copyright © Bruce Hyman 2005 and copyright © Dirk Maggs 2005
Notes from the cast copyright © Susan Sheridan, William Franklyn
and Philip Pope respectively 2005
The right of Above The Title Productions to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
You may not copy, store, distribute, transmit, reproduce or otherwise make available this publication (or any part of it) in any form, or by any means (electronic, digital, optical, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the publisher. Any person who does any unauthorized act in relation to this publicatio
n may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
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