The Old Curiosity Shop

  chafing, restless neighbour.

  Daniel Quilp, who was not much affected by a bright morning save

  in so far as it spared him the trouble of carrying an umbrella, caused

  himself to be put ashore hard by the wharf, and proceeded thither

  through a narrow lane which, partaking of the amphibious character

  of its frequenters, had as much water as mud in its composition, and

  a very liberal supply of both. Arrived at his destination, the first

  object that presented itself to his view was a pair of very imperfectly

  shod feet elevated in the air with the soles upwards, which

  remarkable appearance was referable to the boy, who being of an

  eccentric spirit and having a natural taste for tumbling, was now

  standing on his head and contemplating the aspect of the river under

  these uncommon circumstances. He was speedily brought on his

  heels by the sound of his master's voice, and as soon as his head was

  in its right position, Mr Quilp, to speak expresively in the absence of

  a better verb, 'punched it' for him.

  'Come, you let me alone,' said the boy, parrying Quilp's hand with

  both his elbows alternatively. 'You'll get something you won't like if

  you don't and so I tell you.'

  'You dog,' snarled Quilp, 'I'll beat you with an iron rod, I'll scratch

  you with a rusty nail, I'll pinch your eyes, if you talk to me--I will.'

  With these threats he clenched his hand again, and dexterously

  diving in betwen the elbows and catching the boy's head as it dodged

  from side to side, gave it three or four good hard knocks. Having

  now carried his point and insisted on it, he left off.

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  'You won't do it agin,' said the boy, nodding his head and drawing

  back, with the elbows ready in case of the worst; 'now--'

  'Stand still, you dog,' said Quilp. 'I won't do it again, because I've

  done it as often as I want. Here. Take the key.'

  'Why don't you hit one of your size?' said the boy approaching very

  slowly.

  'Where is there one of my size, you dog?' returned Quilp. 'Take the

  key, or I'll brain you with it'--indeed he gave him a smart tap with

  the handle as he spoke. 'Now, open the counting-house.'

  The boy sulkily complied, muttering at first, but desisting when he

  looked round and saw that Quilp was following him with a steady

  look. And here it may be remarked, that between this boy and the

  dwarf that existed a strange kind of mutual liking. How born or

  bred, and or nourished upon blows and threats on one side, and

  retorts and defiances on the other, is not to the purpose. Quilp would

  certainly suffer nobody to contract him but the boy, and the boy

  would assuredly not have submitted to be so knocked about by

  anybody but Quilp, when he had the power to run away at any time

  he chose.

  'Now,' said Quilp, passing into the wooden counting-house, 'you

  mind the wharf. Stand upon your head agin, and I'll cut one of your

  feet off.'

  The boy made no answer, but directly Quilp had shut himself in,

  stood on his head before the door, then walked on his hands to the

  back and stood on his head there, and then to the opposite side and

  repeated the performance. There were indeed four sides to the

  counting-house, but he avoided that one where the window was,

  deeming it probable that Quilp would be looking out of it. This was

  prudent, for in point of fact, the dwarf, knowing his disposition, was

  lying in wait at a little distance from the sash armed with a large

  piece of wood, which, being rough and jagged and studded in many

  parts with broken nails, might possibly have hurt him.

  It was a dirty little box, this counting-house, with nothing in it but an

  old ricketty desk and two stools, a hat-peg, an ancient almanack, an

  inkstand with no ink, and the stump of one pen, and an eight-day

  clock which hadn't gone for eighteen years at least, and of which the

  minute-hand had been twisted off for a tooth-pick. Daniel Quilp

  pulled his hat over his brows, climbed on to the desk (which had a

  flat top) and stretching his short length upon it went to sleep with

  ease of an old pactitioner; intending, no doubt, to compensate

  himself for the deprivation of last night's rest, by a long and sound

  nap.

  Sound it might have been, but long it was not, for he had not been

  asleep a quarter of an hour when the boy opened the door and thrust

  in his head, which was like a bundle of badly-picked oakum. Quilp

  was a light sleeper and started up directly.

  'Here's somebody for you,' said the boy.

  'Who?'

  'I don't know.'

  'Ask!' said Quilp, seizing the trifle of wood before mentioned and

  throwing it at him with such dexterity that it was well the boy

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  Dickens, Charles - The Old Curiosity Shop

  disappeared before it reached the spot on which he had stood. 'Ask,

  you dog.'

  Not caring to venture within range of such missles again, the boy

  discreetly sent in his stead the first cause of the interruption, who

  now presented herself at the door.

  'What, Nelly!' cried Quilp.

  'Yes,' said the child, hesitating whether to enter or retreat, for the

  dwarf just roused, with his dishevelled hair hanging all about him

  and a yellow handkerchief over his head, was something fearful to

  behold; it's only me, sir.'

  'Come in,' said Quilp, without getting off the desk. 'Come in. Stay.

  Just look out into the yard, and see whether there's a boy standing on

  his head.'

  'No, sir,' replied Nell. 'He's on his feet.'

  'You're sure he is?' said Quilp. 'Well. Now, come in and shut the

  door. What's your message, Nelly?'

  The child handed him a letter. Mr Quilp, without changing his

  position further than to turn over a little more on his side and rest his

  chin on his hand, proceeded to make himself acquainted with its

  contents.

  CHAPTER 6

  Little Nell stood timidly by, with her eyes raised to the countenance

  of Mr Quilp as he read the letter, plainly showing by her looks that

  while she entertained some fear and distrust of the little man, she

  was much inclined to laugh at his uncouth appearance and grotesque

  attitude. And yet there was visible on the part of the child a painful

  anxiety for his reply, and consciousness of his power to render it

  disagreeable or distressing, which was strongly at variance with this

  impulse and restrained it more effectually than she could possibly

  have done by any efforts of her own.

  That Mr Quilp was himself perplexed, and that in no small degree,

  by the contents of the letter, was sufficiently obvious. Before he had

  got through the first two or three lines he began to open his eyes

  very wide and to frown most horribly, the next two or three caused

  him to scratch his head in an uncommonly vicious manner, and when

  he came to the conclusion he gave a long dismal whistle indicative of

  surprise and dismay. After folding and laying it down beside him, he

  bit the nails of all of his ten fing
ers with extreme voracity; and

  taking it up sharply, read it again. The second perusal was to all

  appearance as unsatisfactory as the first, and plunged him into a

  profound reverie from which he awakened to another assault upon

  his nails and a long stare at the child, who with her eyes turned

  towards the ground awaited his further pleasure.

  'Halloa here!' he said at length, in a voice, and with a suddenness,

  which made the child start as though a gun had been fired off at her

  ear. 'Nelly!'

  'Yes, sir.'

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  'Do you know what's inside this letter, Nell?'

  'No, sir!'

  'Are you sure, quite sure, quite certain, upon your soul?'

  'Quite sure, sir.'

  'Do you wish you may die if you do know, hey?' said the dwarf.

  'Indeed I don't know,' returned the child.

  'Well!' muttered Quilp as he marked her earnest look. 'I believe

  you. Humph! Gone already? Gone in four-and-twenty hours! What

  the devil has he done with it, that's the mystery!'

  This reflection set him scratching his head and biting his nails once

  more. While he was thus employed his features gradually relaxed

  into what was with him a cheerful smile, but which in any other man

  would have been a ghastly grin of pain, and when the child looked

  up again she found that he was regarding her with extraordinary

  favour and complacency.

  'You look very pretty to-day, Nelly, charmingly pretty. Are you

  tired, Nelly?'

  'No, sir. I'm in a hurry to get back, for he will be anxious while I

  am away.'

  'There's no hurry, little Nell, no hurry at all,' said Quilp. 'How

  should you like to be my number two, Nelly?'

  'To be what, sir?'

  'My number two, Nelly, my second, my Mrs Quilp,' said the dwarf.

  The child looked frightened, but seemed not to understand him,

  which Mr Quilp observing, hastened to make his meaning more

  distinctly.

  'To be Mrs Quilp the second, when Mrs Quilp the first is dead,

  sweet Nell,' said Quilp, wrinkling up his eyes and luring her towards

  him with his bent forefinger, 'to be my wife, my little cherry-cheeked,

  red-lipped wife. Say

  that Mrs Quilp lives five year, or only

  four, you'll be just the proper age for me. Ha ha! Be a good girl,

  Nelly, a very good girl, and see if one of these days you don't come

  to be Mrs Quilp of Tower Hill.'

  So far from being sustained and stimulated by this delightful

  prospect, the child shrank from him in great agitation, and trembled

  violently. Mr Quilp, either because frightening anybody afforded

  him a constitutional delight, or because it was pleasant to

  contemplate the death of Mrs Quilp number one, and the elevation of

  Mrs Quilp number two to her post and title, or because he was

  determined from purposes of his own to be agreeable and good-humoured at

  that particular

  time, only laughed and feigned to take no

  heed of her alarm.

  'You shall home with me to Tower Hill and see Mrs Quilp that is,

  directly,' said the dwarf. 'She's very fond of you, Nell, though not

  so fond as I am. You shall come home with me.'

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  'I must go back indeed,' said the child. 'He told me to return directly

  I had the answer.'

  'But you haven't it, Nelly,' retorted the dwarf, 'and won't have it,

  and can't have it, until I have been home, so you see that to do your

  errand, you must go with me. Reach me yonder hat, my dear, and

  we'll go directly.' With that, Mr Quilp suffered himself to roll

  gradually off the desk until his short legs touched the ground, when

  he got upon them and led the way from the counting-house to the

  wharf outside, when the first objects that presented themselves were

  the boy who had stood on his head and another young gentleman of

  about his own stature, rolling in the mud together, locked in a tight

  embrace, and cuffing each other with mutual heartiness.

  'It's Kit!' cried Nelly, clasping her hand, 'poor Kit who came with

  me! Oh, pray stop them, Mr Quilp!'

  'I'll stop 'em,' cried Quilp, diving into the little counting-house and

  returning with a thick stick, 'I'll stop 'em. Now, my boys, fight

  away. I'll fight you both. I'll take bot of you, both together, both

  together!'

  With which defiances the dwarf flourished his cudgel, and dancing

  round the combatants and treading upon them and skipping over

  them, in a kind of frenzy, laid about him, now on one and now on

  the other, in a most desperate manner, always aiming at their heads

  and dealing such blows as none but the veriest little savage would

  have inflicted. This being warmer work than they had calculated

  upon, speedily cooled the courage of the belligerents, who scrambled

  to their feet and called for quarter.

  'I'll beat you to a pulp, you dogs,' said Quilp, vainly endeavoring to

  get near either of them for a parting blow. 'I'll bruise you until

  you're copper-coloured, I'll break your faces till you haven't a

  profile between you, I will.'

  'Come, you drop that stick or it'll be worse for you,' said his boy,

  dodging round him and watching an opportunity to rush in; 'you

  drop that stick.'

  'Come a little nearer, and I'll drop it on your skull, you dog,' said

  Quilp, with gleaming eyes; 'a little nearer--nearer yet.'

  But the boy declined the invitation until his master was apparently a

  little off his guard, when he darted in and seizing the weapon tried to

  wrest it from his grasp. Quilp, who was as strong as a lion, easily

  kept his hold until the boy was tugging at it with his utmost power,

  when he suddenly let it go and sent him reeling backwards, so that

  he fell violently upon his head. the success of this manoeuvre tickled

  Mr Quilp beyond description, and he laughed and stamped upon the

  ground as at a most irresistible jest.

  'Never mind,' said the boy, nodding his head and rubbing it at the

  same time; 'you see if ever I offer to strike anybody again because

  they say you're an uglier dwarf than can be seen anywheres for a

  penny, that's all.'

  'Do you mean to say, I'm not, you dog?' returned Quilp.

  'No!' retorted the boy.

  'Then what do you fight on my wharf for, you villain?' said Quilp.

  'Because he said so,' replied to boy, pointing to Kit, 'not because

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  you an't.'

  'Then why did he say,' bawled Kit, 'that Miss Nelly was ugly, and

  that she and my master was obliged to do whatever his master liked?

  Why did he say that?'

  'He said what he did because he's a fool, and you said what you did

  because you're very wise and clever--almost too clever to live,

  unless you're very careful of yourself, Kit.' said Quilp, with great

  suavity in his manner, but still more of quiet malice about his eyes

  and mouth. 'Here's sixpence for you, Kit. Always speak the truth.

  At all times, Kit, speak the truth. Lock the cou
nting-house, you dog,

  and bring me the key.'

  The other boy, to whom this order was addresed, did as he was told,

  and was rewarded for his partizanship in behalf of his master, by a

  dexterous rap on the nose with the key, which brought the water into

  his eyes. Then Mr Quilp departed with the child and Kit in a boat,

  and the boy revenged himself by dancing on his head at intervals on

  the extreme verge of the wharf, during the whole time they crossed

  the river.

  There was only Mrs Quilp at home, and she, little expecting the

  return of her lord, was just composing herself for a refreshing

  slumber when the sound of his footsteps roused her. She had barely

  time to seem to be occupied in some needle-work, when he entered,

  accompanied by the child; having left Kit downstairs.

  'Here's Nelly Trent, dear Mrs Quilp,' said her husband. 'A glass of

  wine, my dear, and a biscuit, for she has had a long walk. She'll sit

  with you, my soul, while I write a letter.'

  Mrs Quilp looked tremblingly in her spouse's face to know what this

  unusual courtesy might portend, and obedient to the summons she

  saw in his gesture, followed him into the next room.

  'Mind what I say to you,' whispered Quilp. 'See if you can get out

  of her anything about her grandfather, or what they do, or how they

  live, or what he tells her. I've my reasons for knowing, if I can. You

  women talk more freely to one another than you do to us, and you

  have a soft, mild way with you that'll win upon her. Do you hear?'

  'Yes, Quilp.'

  'Go then. What's the matter now?'

  'Dear Quilp,' faltered his wife. 'I love the child--if you could do

  without making me deceive her--'

  The dwarf muttering a terrible oath looked round as if for some

  weapon with which to inflict condign punishment upon his

  disobedient wife. the submissive little woman hurriedly entreated

  him not to be angry, and promised to do as he bade her.

  'Do you hear me,' whispered Quilp, nipping and pinching her arm;

  'worm yourself into her secrets; I know you can. I'm listening,

  recollect. If you're not sharp enough, I'll creak the door, and woe

  betide you if I have to creak it much. Go!'

  Mrs Quilp departed according to order, and her amiable husband,

  ensconcing himself behind the partly opened door, and applying his

  ear close to it, began to listen with a face of great craftiness and

  attention.

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