Library e-Book : 978-1-5384-7314-6
Trade e-Book : 978-1-5384-7315-3
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November 17, 2009
Dear Carl:
Here is “The Late Shift” for the proposed Fangoria series.
I’m very pleased with the way this came out. It departs considerably from the original, but I think it is actually an improvement – less contrived and more coherent. I’m surprised that it is also much more a black comedy, albeit a very dark one. It may be the best radio script I’ve ever written. Of course it’s hard to be objective, since it’s based on my own short story, but that’s the way it seems to me.
This series should be able to handle stories a bit more extreme and unconventional than TZ, and “The Late Shift” is an example. I hope you find it as powerful, thought-provoking and entertaining as I do.
Yes, the cast is huge – almost 40 voices. But surely some of the actors can do double-duty. Jim, our protagonist, is the most important. He doesn’t neccesarily have to be an actor is his 20s. He should be self-assured and grounded rather than geeky (Edward Norton rather than Walter Denton). The tone is serious and realistic, not over-the-top, trying-to-be-scary like a horror movie. Treat it as a straight drama with real people, where occasional absurdities occur in any typical day – if we happen to notice them.
My greatest interest in writing this story was to discover what the dead might have to say when they are alone with each other. It turns out that they are tired and lost and in search of peace. They are neither comical nor menacing. They are people like you and me who want to rest now that their work is done. The problem is, the system wants to continue exploiting them even beyond death. It’s a grim proposition but the logical extension of our society. As science fiction, it’s purpose is to raise questions, not answer them. It asks us to consider what might happen “if this goes on.” A cautionary tale, in other words, using imagination and metaphor.
Best of luck with this. I think it can be a real winner.
Sincerely,
Dennis
P.S. I’d like to record the part of the Narrator. This could happen in every show – using the author’s voice a few Limes in each script. What do you think? I’ve also provided a signature opening that might work for the entire series.
CAST OF CHARACTERS
ANNOUNCER
NARRATOR
– (the author)
*JIM MACKLIN
– quietly intelligent, sober, serious-minded but unpretentious. Strong when he needs to be. Mid-to-late 20s
WHITEY
– Jim’s friend. Born American Indian, quite assimilated. Mid-to-late 20s
DRIVER #1
– of a van that transports the dead. Tough and experienced. Latino, 30s-40s
DRIVER #2
– his trainee. Latino, 20s-30s
MANAGER
– of a Stop ’N Start Convenience Mart. Latino, 30s-40s
DIRECTOR
– of the 2nd unit for a TV series. 40s-50s
GROUNDSKEEPER
– at Dry Lawn Cemetery. 40s-50s
OFFICER
– LAPD. Male.
CLERK (JUANO)
– at the Stop ’N Start (dead).
BREATHLESS MAN
– a customer at the Stop ’N Start.
WOMAN #1
– another customer.
WOMAN #2
– another customer, older.
WOMAN #3
– commuter at a bus stop.
NURSE #1
– on the phone.
NURSE #2
– in Whitey’s hospital room.
NURSE #3
– on the phone.
RADIO DJ
– smooth and reassuring, for late-night listeners.
DOCTOR
– at the hospital (male).
VOICES
– several of the recently-deceased. Tired, weak and sad rather than scary. Male and female, all ages.
ATTENDANT
– at a self-serve gas station. A bit geeky but alive. 20s
GAS STATION GIRL
– one of the voices (dead). 20s
FAST-FOOD GUY
– at El Polio Muerto (alive). 20s
CHICKY-BOY
– one of the voices (dead). 20s-30s
CREW #1
– at the film shoot.
CREW #2
– "
CREW #3
– "
CREW #4
– "
BUS DRIVER
PEDESTRIAN #1
– male
PEDESTRIAN #2
– male
911 OPERATOR
– female
POLICE OPERATOR
– male
P.A. VOICE
– at the hospital (female).
OPERATOR
SOUND
SIGNATURE OPENING:
A BEATING HEART. . . RAPID BREATHING. . . RUNNING FEET. . . A DOOR SLAMMING SHUT. THE DOOR LOCKS AND A CHAIN FUMBLES INTO PLACE. THE HEARTBEAT AND BREATHING SLOW. . . UNTIL A GRANDFATHER CLOCK CHIMES LOUDLY. A GASP. THE HEARTBEAT SPEEDS UP AGAIN – DROWNING OUT ALL OTHER SOUNDS.
MUSIC
THEME.
ANNOUNCER
You can run but you can’t hide. It’s far too late for that. Welcome to the darkside, where the night never ends. . . as Fangoria presents. . . Dreadtime Stories!
MUSIC
FADE DOWN.
INTERIOR CAR – MOVING.
NARRATOR
They were driving back from a midnight screening of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” the special director’s out, when one of them saw the sign. It glowed through the mist above the empty street. . .
WHITEY
Hey.
JIM
What.
WHITEY
There’s the Stop ’N Start Market. Open twenty-four hours.
JIM
The munchies, huh?
WHITEY
Well. . . got anything at your place?
JIM
Not much.
WHITEY
Maybe we should pick up some stuff.
JIM
Sounds like a plan.
SOUND
THE CAR SLOWS TO A STOP.
FADE THRU TO:
INT. – CONVENIENCE MART.
MUZAK IN THE B.G. (CONTINUING).
AN AUTOMATIC GLASS DOOR SLIDES OPEN.
AN ELECTRONIC BELL DINGS AS THEY ENTER.
CLERK
(flat, without affect) Sorry. . .
WOMAN #1
No, no, can’t you hear? I don’t want that one.
CLERK
(muttering) Sorry. . .
WOMAN #1
Where’s the regular man? He knows what I drink.
CLERK
Please. . .
WOMAN #1
Behind you, on the shelf. The half-pint. What are you, blind?
CLERK
Sorry. . .
SOUND
A TINY ELECTRONIC BLIP AS THE CLERK SLIDES A BOTTLE OVER THE UPC CODE SENSOR IN THE COUNTERTOP. THE CASH REGISTER RINGS UP A
SOUND (cont’d)
SALE AND THE AUTOMATIC DRAWER SLIDES OPEN. PAPER CRINKLES AS HE BAGS THE BOTTLE.
WOMAN
I don’t need a bag. Just give it to me. Or I’ll take my business elsewhere!
CLERK
. . . Thank you.
SOUND
THE DOOR OPENS AND THE WOMAN EXITS.
WHITEY
(low) Did you catch that action?
JIM
(amused) Last call for alcohol.
WHITEY
No – the guy workin’ the counter. Where’d they
dig him up?
JIM
It’s the late shift. What do you expect? Get some Jiffy Pop. I’ll grab a couple of beers. They won’t sell it after two a.m.
WHITEY
You think he knows what time it is?
JIM
And some Ho-Hos or something. Meet you up front.
SOUND
FOLLOWING JIM AS HE WALKS TO THE BACK OF THE STORE AND OPENS THE COLD CASE. GENERIC BACKGROUND MUSIC STILL PLAYING. HE CLOSES THE COLD CASE AND RETURNS TO THE FRONT. NOW THE BELL DINGS AGAIN AS THE DOOR OPENS AND A MAN RUSHES IN.
BREATHLESS MAN
Got any con – condominiums?
CLERK
Please. . .
BREATHLESS MAN
Uh – conundrums. I mean –
CLERK
Please. . .
SOUND
THE MAN PICKS UP A SMALL PACKET.
BREATHLESS MAN
(relieved) Yes! Right here, next to the Power Bars. Gimme one of those, too.
CLERK
Sorry. . .
SOUND
THE MAN DUMPS DOZENS OF QUARTERS ON THE COUNTER.
BREATHLESS MAN
Is this enough? I’m in a hurry.
SOUND
A BLIP AS THE LASER RINGS UP ANOTHER SALE. THE CASH DRAWER SLIDES OPEN.
CLERK
. . . Thank you.
BREATHLESS MAN
(off) Thank you, man! You saved my life!
SOUND
THE MAN HURRIES OUT. THE GLASS DOOR SLIDES SHUT. THE CLERK DRAGS THE COINS INTO THE DRAWER.
WHITEY
(low, to Jim) I don’t believe it.
Must have robbed his pigyybank.
WHITEY
The clerk. It’s Juano.
JIM
Who?
WHITEY
You know. From the Mexican restaurant, over on Washington?
JIM
You’re kidding. What happened to him?
WHITEY
Looks like he hit the skids.
CLERK
Please.
SOUND
WHITEY AND JIM MOVE UP AND SET THEIR THINGS ON THE COUNTER.
WHITEY
Hey – Juano, right? How’s it goin’?
CLERK
Please. . .
WHITEY
Haven’t seen you in a while.
CLERK
Sorry. . .
WHITEY
It’s me, Whitey. Remember?
CLERK
Thank you.
WHITEY
How’s Rena been?
CLERK
Please. . .
WHITEY
Well, tell her I said hello, okay? Here’s my number. In case she lost it.
SOUND
WHITEY CLICKS A BALLPOINT PEN AND SCRIBBLES ON PAPER.
CLERK
Please.
WHITEY
Just give it to her.
CLERK
Sorry. . .
WHITEY
(taking offense) Why not?
SOUND
BLIPS AS THE CLERK RINGS UP THE GROCERIES.
JIM
(intervening) How much?
WHITEY
I asked you a question.
CLERK
Please. . .
SOUND
JIM PULLS OUT PAPER MONEY AND SLAPS IT DOWN.
JIM
Keep the change.
WHITEY
Hold on.
JIM
Forget it. Let’s go.
CLERK
. . . Thank you.
SOUND
THE CLERK CLOSES THE DRAWER.
WHITEY
Yeah. Good idea. SOmething smells in this place.
SOUND
EXT. – STOP ’N START. AS JIM AND WHITEY EXIT THE STORE. A LONE CAR PASSES ON THE STREET.
WHITEY
What time does Tube City here close?
JIM
Never.
WHITEY
Well, when do they change shifts? About six o’clock?
JIM
What do you care?
WHITEY
Think I’ll have a little talk with old Juano, when he gets off.
JIM
I told you, forget it.
WHITEY
Oh, yeah? I went out with his sister for six months. Now all of a sudden I’m not good enough for her?
JIM
Let it go, man. It’s the late shift.
SOUND
THEY GET IN THE CAR AND DRIVE OFF.
MUSIC
EPISODE SCORE. FADE DOWN.
ANNOUNCER
Dreadtime Stories will continue in a moment. COMMERCIAL BREAK
MUSIC
THEME.
ANNOUNCER
Now back to Dreadtime Stories and our story. . . “The Late Shift.”
MUSIC
EPISODE SCORE.
NARRATOR
It was late and tomorrow was Saturday. So he let his friend crash on the sofa. When the phone rang a few hours later, he thought it was a joke. . .
SOUND
FADE IN DIALOGUE (IN PROGRESS):
JIM
(groggy). . . Who is this?
NURSE #1
(filtered) Saint Sebastian Hospital.
JIM
What’re you calling me for?
NURSE #1
Your friend gave us the number.
JIM
You mean Whitey? No, he didn’t. He’s right here. (calling) Whitey! Hey, where are you. . .?
NURSE #1
We’re located on Fourteenth Street. Park in the underground lot.
JIM
Why?
NURSE
I’m afraid there’s been an accident.
MUSIC
EPISODE SCORE.
BRIDGE THRU TO:
SOUND
INT. – HOSPITAL CORRIDOR. A GURNEY CLATTERS PAST. VOICES IN THE B.G.
P.A. VOICE
(off) Doctor Martin to E.R. Doctor Benway, please come to surgery. . .
JIM
I don’t know anything, officer. I just got here.
OFFICER
Relatives?
JIM
Not that he ever mentioned.
OFFICER
There was an out-of-state driver’s license in his wallet. How long has he lived here?
JIM
A couple of years, maybe. We both went to Santa Monica College.
SOUND
THE OFFICER TAKES NOTES ON A CLIPBOARD.
OFFICER
Mm-hm. Family. . . Out-of-state. Where would that be?
JIM
(frustrated) Don’t ask me. Back on the reservation, 1 guess. Listen, if you’ll just tell me what happened. . .
OFFICER
His car went over a cliff.
JIM
When?
OFFICER
Around dawn, near as we can figure.
JIM
Where?
OFFICER
Arroyo Seco Canyon.
JIM
But that’s all the way across town! He couldn’t have –
OFFICER
When was the last time you saw him?
JIM
Last night.
OFFICER
How much did he have to drink?
JIM
One beer.
OFFICER
We found an empty bottle of Jack Daniel’s in the car.
JIM
No way. He never touched the stuff.
OFFICER
(unconvinced) That right.
JIM
He can’t. He’s Native American. Something about the enzymes in his liver. All he ever drank was beer. One, maybe two, and that was it.
OFFICER
Then how did all that alcohol get into his bloodstream?
MUSIC
EPISODE SCORE.
THRU TO:
SOUND
INT. – HOSPITAL ROOM.
BLIPS FROM A HEART-LUNG MONITOR.
AS JIM TAPS ON THE DOOR AND ENTERS.
JIM
You awake, buddy?
WHITEY
(weakly) Hey, Jim.
JIM
(approaching) What are all those lines on your face?
WHITEY
Pretty good, huh? (with pauses, aided by a breathing machine) I did ’em myself. It’s pHisoHex and lead pencil. The nurse washes it off, I put it on again.