Copyright © 2017 Denise Jacobs.
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Banish Your Inner Critic: Silence the Voice of Self-Doubt to Unleash Your Creativity and Do Your Best Work
Library of Congress Cataloging
ISBN: (paperback) 978-1-63353-471-1, (ebook) 978-1-63353-472-8
Library of Congress Control Number: 2017906492
BISAC category code SEL009000 SELF-HELP / Creativity
Printed in the United States of America
Dedication
For my sister Diane and my mother Deloria.
May they both continue to see, own, and fully stand in the power of their phenomenal creative selves.
“Every creative person I know, from designers to CEOs, suffers from the inner voice that tells us we’re not good enough, we’re not special enough, and darn it, nobody likes us. While a little humility is a good thing, too much self-doubt can keep you from achieving what you were put on earth to accomplish. Being your best, authentic self is the only way to fulfill your dreams and leave the world better than you found it. Denise Jacobs can guide you away from your self-imposed naysayers and set you on the path to achieving the serene self-confidence you deserve. Nobody charts this terrain better than she does.”
- Jeffrey Zeldman, studio.zeldman & An Event Apart
“We are our own worst enemy and harshest critic when it comes to expressing ourselves. Fear holds us back from reaching our potential and gaining the recognition we deserve. That is why I am so excited about Denise’s book. Banish Your Inner Critic is the book I have been waiting for. A book I believe will inspire a new generation to step out of the shadows and shine.”
- Paul Boag, author of User Experience Revolution
“Creativity will be the universal skill of the future in both business and in life. Banishing your inner critic is an ability everyone will need to work on. Denise is a creativity coach, who goes deep into the reasons why we commonly think we are not creative. She then gives us real solutions for how to overcome those hurdles, and bring out the inner creative inside of us. If you are looking to rekindle your creative instinct, have I got the book for you!”
- Jason Cranford Teague, Futurist Author & Speaker
“Banish Your Inner Critic: Great book! Easy to read and fun to use. Denise Jacobs has done a wonderful job of taking the complexity of self, and creating a system for each of us to access our creativity and release our creative power. Denise breaks down the inner critic into types and guides each reader through the process to access her distinctive creative self. Banish Your Inner Critic provides knowledge, insight, tools and practice for getting unstuck and expressing full creative potential. Plus, reading Denise’s book is like spending time with her, and she’s an inspiring delight.”
- Rebecca Stockley, Co-Founder of BATS Improv in San Francisco CA, www.improvlady.com
“Denise brings a practical approach to silencing the voice in your head determined to undermine your ability to work. Banish Your Inner Critic is a manual for finding the destination, direction, and drive to succeed at life. As a remote worker I frequently find myself with self-doubt and rampant imposter syndrome. I now have the tools to purge those blockers from my mind and be the creative person I know I am.”
- Aaron Douglas, Mobile Software Lead, Automattic (& WordPress.com)
“Banish Your Inner Critic is a must-read for everyone who has ever had self-doubt. As I read Denise’s book, my head nodded in agreement and heralded a whole heap of ‘ah-ha’ moments for me. This is Denise at her creative best. I encourage you, Dear Reader, to go deep to banish your inner critic!”
- Kylie Hunt, Workplace, Productivity & Happiness Specialist
“With creativity comes periods of self-judgment that cause anxiety or paralysis. For designers, there is always this critical voice inside that questions what we are doing from time to time. However, whether you are a creative professional or not, everyone has the potential to be creative. In this book, Denise Jacobs empowers readers to silence their inner critic and unlock their potential to be their best creative self.”
- Andy Vitale, UX Design Principal, 3M Health Care
“There is an Inner Critic in all of us and it may be the thing that is stopping us from reaching our full creative potential. In this delightful book, Denise openly shares her own struggles with self-criticism, making us feel like we aren’t alone. She gives us permission to own it, the tools to get unblocked, and get on the path to a more creative self.”
- Jessie Shternshus, Founder of The Improv Effect and Author of Ctrl Shift: 50 Games For 50 ****ing Days Like Today
“It’s harder than ever to turn down the voices and channels vying for your attention; even when you do, you may find your own inner critic ready to thwart your creative efforts. But Denise Jacobs offers compassionate and practical guidance for overcoming those doubts, channeling your focus, and getting down to creating.”
— Kate O’Neill, founder of KO Insights and author of “Pixels and Place: Connecting Human Experience Across Physical and Digital Spaces”
“The high tech world has created an epidemic of impostor syndrome. People doubt themselves. You can disagree when others doubt you, but when you doubt yourself, who’s going to defend you? Take your power back! In this book, author Denise Jacobs gives you the practical tools you need to own the room by owning your self. Banish that inner devil’s advocate and become as powerful as you can be.”
- Alan Cooper, Software Alchemist, co-founder of Cooper, and Author
Table of Contents
Introduction
Are You Doing Your Best Work?
Triumphing Over My Own Inner Critic
It’s Time for You to Triumph Too
How to Use This Book
The Content
Exercises: Creative Doses
Creative Dose Structure
Online Companions
Guidelines for Success
Choose Your Path
Write It Out
Dude, Where’s the Writing Space?
Give Yourself Time to Process
Read and Revisit
The Origin of the Inner Thoughts
Disclaimers
Chapter 1 | Why Banish the Inner Critic?
Our Intrinsic Creativity
Your Brain on Creativity
Creativity, Interrupted
Meet the Inner Critic
Creativity vs. The Inner Critic
Chapter 2 | Take Back Your Creative Power
To Reclaim, We Must Rebuild
Recognize the Power of Thinking Differently
Take Advantage of the Brain’s Plasticity
Rehabilitate Your Thoughts
Build A Whole New Mind Frame
Give Yourself a Creative Dose
Become Full of Mind
Creative Dose: Mindful Thought Acceptance
Awaken Your Compassionate Self
Creative Dose: Self-Esteem vs. Self-Indulgence vs. Self-Compassion
Creative Dose: The Voice of Support
Glean Your Inner Critic Afflictions
Recognize Your Inner Critical Voice
Creative Dose: The Critical Voices in Your Head
Give It A Name
Creative Dose: Identify It and Name It
Learn the Guises of the Inner Critic
Creative Dose: The Many Faces of The Inner Critic
Know Thy Inner Critic
Creative Dose: Identify Your Inner Critic Achilles’ Heel
It All Begins With the First Step
Chapter 3 | “People Will Think My Work Is Dumb” - Judgment Dread
Are They Judging Me? They’re Judging Me, Aren’t They?
Dreading Judgment
Understand the Need to Belong
Know Negativity Bias and the Nature of Fear
Creative Dose: F.E.A.R.
Reconcile the Fear of Rejection
Creative Dose: A Face of Approval
See Reality More Clearly
Recognize Cognitive Distortions
Know Your Cognitive Distortions
Creative Dose: Surprise Journal
Seek Positive Confirmation
Creative Dose: Swipe File of Support
Stop Awfulizing
Creative Dose: “And then...”
Practice Radical Ratification
Stop Hiding in Plain Sight
Creative Dose: Your Uniqueness Advantage
Accept Who You Are
Creative Dose: Embrace Your Shake
Live Better Through Criticism
Creative Dose: Curious and Open
Stay True to Yourself
Creative Dose: More Clear, More Empowered
Choose to Contribute
Creative Dose: Focus on the Work
We’ve Only Just Begun
Chapter 4 | “Nothing I Do Is Any Good” - High Self-Criticism
Put the Hammer Down
Self-Criticism Constrains
Attend To Your Self-Talk
Release Outdated Expectations and Shake Off Shame
Creative Dose: Get At the Source
Come To Your Own Defense
Creative Dose: Compassion for the Selves
Stay In the Present
Creative Dose: The Anti-Rumination Hand Squeeze
Creative Dose: S.H.I.F.T. to Three+3
Get Perspective and Gain Control
Create A Healthy Mental Distance
Creative Dose: Self-Talk Reboot
Break On Through To the Other Side
Creative Dose: Inner Critic Undoing
Creative Dose: Swipe Left
Cease Self-Censoring
Question and Challenge
Creative Dose: Get Up, Stand Up
Tune In to Tune Out
Creative Dose: Turn Down Da Noise, Turn Down Da Funk
Reassign Duty
Creative Dose: The Inner Critic As An Intern
Walking Away From the Hammer
Chapter 5 | “I’m Not Good Enough”- Deficiency Anxieties
Enough is Enough
Use Your Brainpower For Good
Think Like a Scientist
Creative Dose: Emotion and Thought Inquiry
Shift to Ample
You Are Enough
Creative Dose: Take Inventory
Readjust to Trust
Creative Dose: The Parallel Trust Universe
Be A Friend Indeed
Creative Dose: Quantum Companionship
Learn, Expand, and Mix It Up
Believe That You Can Be Informed and Able
Know the Four Stages of Competence
Creative Dose: Quick Learnin’
Build Skills With Intention
Creative Dose: Practice Deliberately
Amp Up Your Ability to Listen
Creative Dose: Take In, Reflect Back
Raise A Barn
Creative Dose: Join Forces and Plus It
Steal Like An Artist to Remix
Creative Dose: Be a Mixmaster
Beyond Enough
Chapter 6 | “I’m Not As Creative As Everyone Else”
- Comparison Syndrome
Comparison Syndrome Takes Deficiency Anxiety to Eleven
Unenviable Envy
Break the Compulsion to Compare
Arrest: Stop the Triggers
Creative Dose: Trigger-free and Happy
Assess: Become Self-Referential
Creative Dose: Apples to Apples
Creative Dose: Keep Your “But” Out of It
Attune: Embrace Your “Onlyness”
Creative Dose: Determining Distinctiveness
Move From Stagnation to Action
Ascertain: Learn from Envy
Creative Dose: What Lies Beneath Your Envy
Admire: Transform Envy
Creative Dose: A Comparison Syndrome Intervention
Creative Dose: To Admiration and Beyond
Acknowledge: Recognize Effort and Reward Success
Creative Dose: A Celebration of Effort and Achievement
Act: Start Your Own Adventures
Creative Dose: Take Action
Leveling Up
Chapter 7 | “I’m Not Creative” - Creativity Denial
What State Are You in?
Confirm Your Creativity
Acknowledge Your Abilities
Creative Dose: “Yes, I Am”
Use Your Imagination for Good
Creative Dose: What’s in the Box?
Bestow Upon Yourself
Creative Dose: “I dub thee...”
Transform Imposition into Opportunity
Creative Dose: Word Choice
Reclaim Time, Create Mental Space
Creative Dose: To Don’t List
Hack Your Body-Mind
Creative Dose: Cop a Power Pose
Dispel Creativity Misgivings
Intend Inspiration
Creative Dose: Inspiration-Hunting
Become an Idea Machine
Creative Dose: 10 Ideas a Day
A Change of State
Chapter 8 | Step Into Your Creative Power
The Road Home
Be More Of Yourself
Become Self-full to Become Self-less
Creative Dose: Refilling the Cup
Use Your Creativity for Good
Creative Dose: Where Experience, Skill, and Need Meet
Shine Your Light
Be Your Brilliance
Creative Dose: Tune In To Your Strengths
Share Your Brilliance
Creative Dose: Share Your Expertise
Be Stronger Together
Have (At Least) Two Heads
Creative Dose: The Buddy System
Give Validation, Get Validation
Creative Dose: Give What You Didn’t Get
Welcome Home
Afterword
Realiz
ing Dreams
What’s Next?
Take the Work Further
Work With Me
Connect With Me
Connect with me online
Share the Love
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Notes
“Banish your inner critic to Madagascar on an expedition to search for rare lemurs.”
— Marelisa Fabrega, writer & blogger (inspired by SARK, Make Your Creative Dreams Real)
Introduction
Are You Doing Your Best Work?
You’re feeling the pressure to perform: you’re on a tight deadline, and there is a lot riding on your ability to come up with something great.
But, try as you might...nothing. You can’t think, you can’t problem-solve. You’re uninspired. Generating new or interesting ideas?
You wish!
Why?
Because you
shoot down your ideas before they even have a chance
call yourself a failure because others around you are succeeding
discount your ideas because they aren’t 100 percent original
tell yourself that you’re just not creative at all
have a hard time valuing what you create
can’t imagine creating without anguish and effort, so you make it true...
Unsurprisingly, you, my friend, are completely creatively blocked.
And then, when you tune into your internal self-talk, you find a steady torrent of self-chastisement, internal insults, and put-downs:
“Why can’t you come up with anything?!”
“Wow – so you’ve got a master’s in marketing and this is all
“You’re an idiot! Think, for chrissakes!”
Yikes!
Your creative paralysis is all the more frustrating because you’ve been on the other side. You’ve had moments when you danced at the intersection of your skills, interests, natural abilities, and aptitudes. You were excited, completely engaged, and seemed to be an endless fount of ideas and solutions. You felt completely knowledgeable, powerful, and competent. Whatever it was that you were doing, you totally nailed it. The experience was fantastic.
For many of us, creating is a tortured process. The torture, however, is not inherent in creating itself, but instead comes from the fears we have around our ability to create. The constellation of our fears manifests as the Inner Critic. This psychological construct can trick us into believing the very worst about ourselves and our ability to create or do anything else of value in the world. It blocks the amazing ideas we have inside from coming out. The Inner Critic keeps us from accessing and expressing the very thing we desire: the flow of our creativity.