holes
Elevators
overloading of
passenger capacity in
“Eleventh hour”
Emergency Broadcasting System, length of test
“Emergency feed” on paper towel dispensers Emmy awards, origins of name
English, driving habits of
English horn, naming of
English muffins
in England
white particles on
Envelopes
Christmas cards, paper bands on
colored stickers on
computer scrawls on
red letters on back of
return windows on
size of, in bills
Escalator knobs, purpose of
Escalators
green lights on
rail speed of
Evaporated milk
refrigeration of
soldered cans and
Evolution, loss of body hair and
Exclamation marks in telegrams
Executions
autopsies after
hours of
“EXEMPT” signs at railroad crossings
Expiration dates
on bottled waters
on fire extinguishers
on toothpaste
Exposures, number of, in film
Exterminators, hard hats and
Extremities, wrinkles on
282 / DAVID FELDMAN
Eye chart, E on
Eye closure during kissing
Eyeglasses and nerdiness
Eyes
bags under
floaters and
pain, when tired
position, during sleep
rubbing of, when tired
sneezing and
Fading, causes of
Fahrenheit scale
increments in
zero degrees, meaning of
Fainting and women, lessening of
“FALLING ROCK” signs, purpose of
Falsetto voices
techniques for men producing
women’s inability to produce
“Fan [loyal partisan]”
Fan speeds, order of
Farm plots, circular shape of
Fast-food restaurants, dessert and
Fat people and alleged jolliness
Fathers, new, passing out of cigars and
Fats, on nutrition labels
Faucets, water
“FD&C,” meaning of, on food and shampoo labels Federal Express, hours of employees of
Feet, swelling in airplanes of
Fences, height restrictions of
Field goals, measurement of
Fifty-five mph
reasons for speed limit of
speedometers and
Fighting Irish, Notre Dame and
Figure skating and dizziness
“Filibuster”
“Filipino,” spelling of
WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE? / 283
Film
countdown leader on
measurement of, in millimeters
number of exposures in
prints, after theatrical runs
wagon wheels in, movement of
width of
X-and XXX-ratings
Filters, cigarette, brown spots on
“Filthy lucre”
“Fin [five-dollar bill]”
Fingernails
biting of
growth of, versus toenails
growth of, after death
lunula on
yellowing of, and nail polish
Fingers, length of
“Fink”
Fire, crackling sound of
Fire extinguishers, expiration date on
Fire helmets, shape of
Fire hydrants
freezing of water in
shape of valve stems of
Fire trucks, roofs of
Firearms, confiscated, after arrests
Fireplaces, rain in
First basemen, ball custody of, in baseball First class mail, priority mail versus
Fish [see also specific types]
biting in rain
eating preferences
fear of, in aquariums
floating upon death
pebble spitting
return to dried-up lakes and ponds
saltwater coloration
sleep patterns
urination
284 / DAVID FELDMAN
Fish tanks, oxygen in
Flagpoles, balls atop
Flags, Japanese, red beams and
Flags, U.S.
half-mast
“Flak”
“Flammable,” versus “inflammable”
“Flash in the pan”
Flashlights, police and grips of
Flat toothpicks, purpose of
“Flea market”
Flies
landing patterns of
winter and
Flintstones, Barney Rubble’s profession on Flintstones multivitamins, Betty Rubble and Floaters in eyes
Floral graphics on mattresses
Florida, cost of auto rentals in
“Flotsam,” versus “jetsam”
Flour, bleached
Flour bugs, provenance of
Flour tortillas, size of, versus corn
Flu, body aches and
Fluorescent lights and plinking noises
Flush handles, toilets and
Flushes, loud, toilets in public restrooms and Fly swatters, holes in
FM radio, odd frequency numbers of
Food cravings in pregnant women
Food labels
“FD&C” on label
lack of manufacturer street addresses
Football
barefoot kickers in
college, redshirting in
distribution of game balls
goalposts, tearing down of
measurement of first-down yardage
WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE? / 285
origins of “hut” in
Pittsburgh Steelers’ helmet emblems on
shape of
sideline population in
tearing down of goalposts
two-minute warning and
yardage of kickers in
“Fore,” origins of golf expression
Forewords in books, versus introductions and prefaces Forks, switching hands to use
“Fortnight”
Fraternities, Greek names of
“Freebooter”
Freezer compartments, location of, in refrigerators Freezers
ice trays in
lights in
French dry cleaning
French horns, design of
“French” bread versus “Italian”
“French” style green beans
“French” versus “Italian” bread
Frogs
eye closure when swallowing
warts and
Frogs of violins, white dots on
Frostbite, penguin feet and
Fruitcake, alleged popularity of
“Fry”
Fuel gauges in automobiles
“Fullback”
Full-service versus self-service, pricing of, at gas stations Funeral homes, size of
Funerals
burials without shoes
depth of graves
head position of, in caskets
orientation of deceased
perpetual care and
small cemeteries and
286 / DAVID FELDMAN
“Funk”
“G.I.”
Gagging, hairs in mouth and
Gallons and quarts, American versus British Game balls, distribution of football
Gasoline, pricing of, in tenths of a cent Gasoline gauges, automobile
Gasoline pumps
rubber sleeves on
shut off of
Gasoli
ne stations, full-service versus self-service, pricing of Gasoline, unleaded, cost of
Gauge, width of railroad
Gauges, fuel, in automobiles
Geese, honking during migration
Gelatin, fruit in
“Gerrymander”
“Get the sack”
“Get your goat”
“Getting down to brass tacks”
Gifts, children and
Girdles and fat displacement
Glass, broken
Glasses, drinking
squeakiness of
“sweating” of
Glasses, wine, types of
Glitter, sidewalks and
Glow-in-the-dark items, green color of
Glue
stickiness in the bottle
“Super” versus conventional
“Super,” and Teflon
taste of postage stamp
Glutamates, MSG and
Gnats, swarming of
Goalies, banging of sticks by
Goalposts, football, tearing down of
“Goat”
WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE? / 287
Goats, kids versus adult
“Gobbledygook”
Gold bullion, shape of
Golf
origins of eighteen holes
origins of term “fore”
pain of mishits
Golf balls
dimples on
veering toward ocean while putting
Golfers and sunglasses
Gondolas, black color of
“Good Friday,” origins of term
Goofy
identify of
marital status of
Goofy, Jr., origins of
Goosebumps, faces and
Gorillas, chest pounding of
Gowns, and caps, at graduations
Grades in school, E
Grading of cigarettes
Grading of eggs, meaning of
Graduations, military academy
“Grandfather” clock, origins of term
Grape jellies, color of
Grapefruit, sweetness of, canned versus fresh
“Grape-nuts”
Grapes, raisins and
Gravel and placement on flat roofs
Graves, depth of
Gravy skin loss, when heated
“Gravy train”
Grease, color of
Grecian Formula, process of
Greek names of fraternities and sororities Green beans, “French” style
Green color of glow-in-the-dark items
Green lights, versus red lights, on boats and airplanes
“Green with envy”
288 / DAVID FELDMAN
“Green” cards, color of
“Greenhorn”
Greeting cards, shape of
Gretzky, Wayne, hockey uniform of
Grimace, identity of McDonald’s
Grocery coupons, cash value of
Grocery sacks, names on
Grocery stores and check approval
Groom, carrying bride over threshold by
Growling of stomach, causes of
Guitar strings, dangling of
Gulls, sea, in parking lots
Gum, chewing
water consumption and hardening
wrappers of
“Gunny sacks”
“Guy”
“Habit [riding costume]”
“Hackles”
Hail, measurement of
Hair
blue, and older women
growth of, after death
length of, in older women
mole, color of
parting, left versus right
Hair color, darkening of, in babies
Hair spray, unscented, smell of
Hairbrushes, length of handles on
Hairs in mouth, gagging on
Hairy ears in older men
Half dollars, vending machines and
“Halfback”
Half-mast, flags at
Half-moon versus quarter moon
Half-numbers in street addresses
Halibut, coloring of
Halloween, Jack-o’-lanterns and
Halogen light bulbs, touching of
WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE? / 289
Ham
checkerboard pattern atop
color of, when cooked
Easter and consumption of
“Ham [actor]”
Hamburger buns, bottoms of
“Hamburger,” origins of term
“Hamfatter”
Hand dryers in bathrooms
Hand positions in old photographs
Handles versus knobs, on doors
Handwriting, teaching of cursive versus printing
“Hansom cab”
Happy endings, crying and
Hard hats
backward positioning of, in ironworkers
exterminators and
Hard-boiled eggs, discoloration of
Hat tricks, in hockey
Hats
cowboy, dents on
declining popularity
dents in cowboy
holes in sides of
numbering system for sizes
Haystacks, shape of
“Hazard [dice game]”
“Head [bathroom]”
“Head honcho”
Head injuries, “seeing stars” and
Head lice, kids and
Headaches and aspirin
Headbands on books
Headlamps, shutoff of automobile
“Heart on his sleeve”
Hearts, shape of, idealized versus real
Heat and effect on sleep
“Hector”
“Heebie jeebies”
Height
290 / DAVID FELDMAN
clearance signs on highways
of elderly
restrictions on fences
voice pitch and
Heinz ketchup labels
Helicopters, noise of
Helium and effect on voice
Hellman’s Mayonnaise, versus Best Foods
“Hem and haw”
“Hep”
Hermit crabs, bathroom habits of
Hernia exams and “Turn your head and cough”
“Heroin”
“High bias,” versus “low bias,” on audio tape
“High jinks”
High-altitude tennis balls
“Highball”
Highways
clumping of traffic
curves on
interstate, numbering system
traffic jams, clearing of
weigh stations
“Hillbilly”
Hills, versus mountains
“Hip”
“Hobnob”
“Hobson’s choice”
Hockey
banging of sticks by goalies
hat trick
Montreal Canadiens uniforms
Wayne Gretzky’s uniform
“Hold a candle”
“Holding the bag”
Holes
in barrels of cheap pens
in elevator doors
in fly swatters
in ice cream sandwiches
WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE? / 291
in needles and syringes
in pasta
in saltines
in thimbles
in wing-tip shoes
on bottom of soda bottles
recycling of, in loose-leaf paper
refilling of dirt
“Holland,” versus “Netherlands”
Home plate, shape of, in baseball
“Honcho”
Honey, spoilage of
Honey roasted peanuts, banning of, on airlines Honking in geese during migration
“Honky”
“Hoodwink”
“Hoosiers”
“Horsefeathers”
Horses
measurement of heights of
posture in open fields
shoes
sleeping posture
vomiting
Hospital gowns, back ties on
Hospitals and guidelines for medical conditions Hot dog buns
number of, in package
slicing of
Hot dogs, skins of
Hot water, noise in pipes of
Hotels
amenities, spread of
number of towels in rooms
plastic circles on walls of
toilet paper folding in bathrooms of
“Hotsy totsy”
Houses, settling in
“Hue and cry”
“Humble pie”
292 / DAVID FELDMAN
Humidity, relative, during rain
Humming, power lines and
Hurricane, trees and
“Hurricanes” as University of Miami nickname
“Hut,” origins of football term
Hydrants, fire, freezing water in
Hypnotists, stage, techniques of
“I [capitalization of]”
“I could care less”
“I” before “e,” in spelling
Ice
fizziness of soda
formation on top of lakes and ponds
holes and dimples in
in urinals
Ice cream
black specks in
cost of cones versus cups
pistachio, color of
thirstiness
Ice cream and soda, fizziness of
Ice cream sandwiches, holes in
Ice cubes
cloudy versus clear
shape of, in home freezers
Ice rinks, temperature of resurfacing water in Ice skating, awful music in
Ice trays in freezers, location of
Icy roads, use of sand and salt on
Ignitions
automobile, and headlamp shutoff
key release button on
Imperial gallon, versus American gallon
“In like Flynn”
“In the nick of time”
Index fingers and “Tsk-Tsk,” stroking of
“Indian corn”
“Indian pudding”
“Indian summer”
WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE? / 293
Indianapolis 500, milk consumption by victors in
“Inflammable,” versus “flammable”
Ink
color of, in ditto masters
newspaper, and recycling
Insects
attraction to ultraviolet
aversion to yellow
flight patterns of
in flour and fruit
Insects [see specific types]
Insufficient postage, USPS procedures for Interstate highways, numbering system of
Introductions in books, versus forewords and prefaces Irish names, “O’” in
Irons, permanent press settings on
Ironworkers, backwards hard hat wearing of Irregular sheets, proliferation of
IRS and due date of taxes
IRS tax forms
disposal of
numbering scheme of
“Italian” bread, versus “French”
Itching, reasons for
Ivory soap, purity of