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    For Rowdy Christians Everywhere

    Page 50
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    APPENDIX II: In Order that the Reader May Better Judge a Particular Matter

      Bad Day at Chez Vanier

      By Bertralamus J Loreword, Para-Poet, also uncharitably known as Bert the Hack

      (To be read aloud dramatically, with an excited teenage drawl)

      Chez Vanier has just served a nice luncheon,

      When in walks a Hit-man, wielding a truncheon.

      A blow to the throat drops the maitre d’.

      The customers scream, and the waiters flee.

      He spies his mark, and he presses forward,

      Through the crowd of patrons surging doorward.

      He does the man in, with blunt force trauma,

      Face down in a plate of veal parmigiana.

      The police are called, and arrive post-haste.

      He draws his piece, and prepares to be chased.

      Six cops later, they call off the pursuit,

      Crying, “Man! That dude can really shoot!”

      As the distant gunfire grows sporadic,

      Diners resume enjoying the haddock.

     


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