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    Touch and Go

    Page 7
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    that the office should have set it going, Breffitt.

      BREFFITT. It's none of the office's doing, I think you'll find, Mr.

      Gerald. The office men did nothing but ask for a just advance--at

      any rate, time and prices being what they are, I consider it a fair

      advance. If the men took it up, it's because they've got a set of

      loud-mouthed blatherers and agitators among them like Job Arthur

      Freer, who deserve to be hung--and hanging they'd get, if I could

      have the judging of them.

      GERALD. Well--it's very unfortunate--because we can't give the clerks

      their increase now, you know.

      BREFFITT. Can't you?--can't you? I can't see that it would be

      anything out of the way, if I say what I think.

      GERALD. No. They won't get any increase now. It shouldn't have been

      allowed to become a public cry with the colliers. We can't give in

      now.

      BREFFITT. Have the Board decided that?

      GERALD. They have--on my advice.

      BREFFITT. Hm!--then the men will come out.

      GERALD. We will see.

      BREFFITT. It's trouble for nothing--it's trouble that could be

      avoided. The clerks could have their advance, and it would hurt

      nobody.

      GERALD. Too late now.--I suppose if the men come out, the clerks

      will come out with them?

      BREFFITT. They'll have to--they'll have to.

      GERALD. If they do, we may then make certain alterations in the

      office staff which have needed making for some time.

      BREFFITT. Very good--very good. I know what you mean.--I don't know

      how your father bears all this, Mr. Gerald.

      GERALD. We keep it from him as much as possible.--You'll let the

      clerks know the decision. And if they stay out with the men, I'll

      go over the list of the staff with you. It has needed revising for

      a long time.

      BREFFITT. I know what you mean--I know what you mean--I believe I

      understand the firm's interest in my department. I ought, after

      forty years studying it. I've studied the firm's interest for forty

      years, Mr. Gerald. I'm not likely to forget them now.

      GERALD. Of course.

      BREFFITT. But I think it's a mistake--I think it's a mistake, and

      I'm bound to say it, to let a great deal of trouble rise for a very

      small cause. The clerks might have had what they reasonably asked

      her.

      GERALD. Well, it's too late now.

      BREFFITT. I suppose it is--I suppose it is. I hope you'll remember,

      sir, that I've put the interest of the firm before everything--before

      every consideration.

      GERALD. Of course, Breffitt.

      BREFFITT. But you've not had any liking for the office staff, I'm

      afraid, sir--not since your father put you amongst us for a few

      months.--Well, sir, we shall weather this gale, I hope, as we've

      weathered those in the past. Times don't become better, do they?

      Men are an ungrateful lot, and these agitators should be lynched.

      They would, if I had my way.

      GERALD. Yes, of course. Don't wait.

      BREFFITT. Good night to you. (Exit.)

      GERALD. Good night.

      ANABEL. He's the last, apparently.

      GERALD. We'll hope so.

      ANABEL. He puts you in a fury.

      GERALD. It's his manner. My father spoilt them--abominable old

      limpets. And they're so self-righteous. They think I'm a sort of

      criminal who has instigated this new devilish system which runs

      everything so close and cuts it so fine--as if they hadn't made this

      inevitable by their shameless carelessness and wastefulness in the

      past. He may well boast of his forty years--forty years' crass,

      stupid wastefulness.

      (Two or three more clerks pass, talking till they approach the seat,

      then becoming silent after bidding good night.)

      ANABEL. But aren't you a bit sorry for them?

      GERALD. Why? If they're poor, what does it matter in a world of

      chaos?

      ANABEL. And aren't you an obstinate ass not to give them the bit

      they want. It's mere stupid obstinacy.

      GERALD. It may be. I call it policy.

      ANABEL. Men always do call their obstinacy policy.

      GERALD. Well, I don't care what happens. I wish things would come

      to a head. I only fear they won't.

      ANABEL. Aren't you rather wicked?--ASKING for strife?

      GERALD. I hope I am. It's quite a relief to me to feel that I may

      be wicked. I fear I'm not. I can see them all anticipating victory,

      in their low-down fashion wanting to crow their low-down crowings.

      I'm afraid I feel it's a righteous cause, to cut a lot of little

      combs before I die.

      ANABEL. But if they're right in what they want?

      GERALD. In the right--in the right!--They're just greedy, incompetent,

      stupid, gloating in a sense of the worst sort of power. They're like

      vicious children, who would like to kill their parents so that they

      could have the run of the larder. The rest is just cant.

      ANABEL. If you're the parent in the case, I must say you flow over

      with loving-kindness for them.

      GERALD. I don't--I detest them. I only hope they will fight. If

      they would, I'd have some respect for them. But you'll see what it

      will be.

      ANABEL. I wish I needn't, for it's very sickening.

      GERALD. Sickening beyond expression.

      ANABEL. I wish we could go right away.

      GERALD. So do I--If one could get oneself out of this. But one

      can't. It's the same wherever you have industrialism--and you have

      industrialism everywhere, whether it's in Timbuctoo or Paraguay or

      Antananarivo.

      ANABEL. No, it isn't: you exaggerate.

      JOB ARTHUR (suddenly approaching from the other side). Good evening,

      Mr. Barlow. I heard you were in here. Could I have a word with you?

      GERALD. Get on with it, then.

      JOB ARTHUR. Is it right that you won't meet the clerks?

      GERALD. Yes.

      JOB ARTHUR. Not in any way?

      GERALD. Not in any way whatsoever.

      JOB ARTHUR. But--I thought I understood from you the other night---

      GERALD. It's all the same what you understood.

      JOB ARTHUR. Then you take it back, sir?

      GERALD. I take nothing back, because I gave nothing.

      JOB ARTHUR. Oh, excuse me, excuse me, sir. You said it would be all

      right about the clerks. This lady heard you say it.

      GERALD. Don't you call witnesses against me.--Besides, what does it

      matter to you? What in the name of---

      JOB ARTHUR. Well, sir, you said it would be all right, and I went on

      that---

      GERALD. You went on that! Where did you go to?

      JOB ARTHUR. The men'll be out on Monday.

      GERALD. So shall I.

      JOB ARTHUR. Oh, yes, but--where's it going to end?

      GERALD. Do you want me to prophesy? When did I set up for a public

      prophet?

      JOB ARTHUR. I don't know, sir. But perhaps you're doing more than

      you know. There's a funny feeling just now among the men.

      GERALD. So I've heard before. Why should I concern myself with

      their feelings? Am I to cry when every collier bumps his funny-bone

      --or to laugh?

      JO
    B ARTHUR. It's no laughing matter, you see.

      GERALD. An I'm sure it's no crying matter--unless you want to cry,

      do you see?

      JOB ARTHUR. Ah, but, very likely, it wouldn't be me would cry.--You

      don't know what might happen, now.

      GERALD. I'm waiting for something to happen. I should like something

      to happen--very much--very much indeed.

      JOB ARTHUR. Yes, but perhaps you'd be sorry if it did happen.

      GERALD. Is that warning or a threat?

      JOB ARTHUR. I don't know--it might be a bit of both. What I mean to

      say---

      GERALD (suddenly seizing him by the scruff of the neck and shaking

      him). What do you mean to say?--I mean you to say less, do you see?

      --a great deal less--do you see? You've run on with your saying long

      enough: that clock had better run down. So stop your sayings--stop

      your sayings, I tell you--or you'll have them shaken out of you--

      shaken out of you--shaken out of you, do you see? (Suddenly flings

      him aside.)

      (JOB ARTHUR, staggering, falls.)

      ANABEL. Oh, no!--oh, no!

      GERALD. Now get up, Job Arthur; and get up wiser than you went down.

      You've played your little game and your little tricks and made your

      little sayings long enough. You're going to stop now. We've had

      quite enough of strong men of your stamp, Job Arthur--quite enough--

      such labour leaders as you.

      JOB ARTHUR. You'll be sorry, Mr. Barlow--you'll be sorry. You'll

      wish you'd not attacked me.

      GERALD. Don't you trouble about me and my sorrow. Mind your own.

      JOB ARTHUR. You will--you'll be sorry. You'll be sorry for what

      you've done. You'll wish you'd never begun this.

      GERALD. Begun--begun?--I'd like to finish, too, that I would. I'd

      like to finish with you, too--I warn YOU.

      JOB ARTHUR. I warn you--I warn you. You won't go on much longer.

      Every parish has its own vermin.

      GERALD. Vermin?

      JOB ARTHUR. Every parish has its own vermin; it lies with every

      parish to destroy its own. We sha'n't have a clean parish till

      we've destroyed the vermin we've got.

      GERALD. Vermin? The fool's raving. Vermin!--Another phrase-maker,

      by God! Another phrase-maker to lead the people.--Vermin? What

      vermin? I know quite well what _I_ mean by vermin, Job Arthur. But

      what do you mean? Vermin? Explain yourself.

      JOB ARTHUR. Yes, vermin. Vermin is what lives on other people's

      lives, living on their lives and profiting by it. We've got 'em in

      every parish--vermin, I say--that live on the sweat and blood of the

      people--live on it, and get rich on it--get rich through living on

      other people's lives, the lives of the working men--living on the

      bodies of the working men--that's vermin--if it isn't, what is it?

      And every parish must destroy its own--every parish must destroy its

      own vermin.

      GERALD. The phrase, my God! the phrase.

      JOB ARTHUR. Phrase or not phrase, there it is, and face it out if

      you can. There it is--there's not one in every parish--there's more

      than one--there's a number---

      GERALD (suddenly kicking him). Go! (Kicks him.) Go! (Kicks him.)

      go! (JOB ARTHUR falls.) Get out! (Kicks him.) Get out, I say!

      Get out, I tell you! Get out! Get out!--Vermin!--Vermin!--I'll

      vermin you! I'll put my foot through your phrases. Get up, I say,

      get up and go--GO!

      JOB ARTHUR. It'll be you as'll go, this time.

      GERALD. What? What?--By God! I'll kick you out of this park like a

      rotten bundle if you don't get up and go.

      ANABEL. No, Gerald, no. Don't forget yourself. It's enough now.

      It's enough now.--Come away. Do come away. Come away--leave him---

      JOB ARTHUR (still on the ground). It's your turn to go. It's you

      as'll go, this time.

      GERALD (looking at him). One can't even tread on you.

      ANABEL. Don't, Gerald, don't--don't look at him.--Don't say any more,

      you, Job Arthur.--Come away, Gerald. Come away--come--do come.

      GERALD (turning). THAT a human being! My God!--But he's right--

      it's I who go. It's we who go, Anabel. He's still there.--My God!

      a human being!

      (Curtain.)

      SCENE II

      Market-place as in Act I. WILLIE HOUGHTON, addressing a large

      crowd of men from the foot of the obelisk.

      WILLIE. And now you're out on strike--now you've been out for a week

      pretty nearly, what further are you? I heard a great deal of talk

      about what you were going to do. Well, what ARE you going to do?

      You don't know. You've not the smallest idea. You haven't any idea

      whatsoever. You've got your leaders. Now then, Job Arthur, throw a

      little light on the way in front, will you: for it seems to me we're

      lost in a bog. Which way are we to steer? Come--give the word, and

      let's gee-up.

      JOB ARTHUR. You ask me which way we are to go. I say we can't go

      our own way, because of the obstacles that lie in front. You've got

      to remove the obstacles from the way.

      WILLIE. So said Balaam's ass. But you're not an ass--beg pardon;

      and you're not Balaam--you're Job. And we've all got to be little

      Jobs, learning how to spell patience backwards. We've lost our jobs

      and we've found a Job. It's picking up a scorpion when you're

      looking for an egg.--Tell us what you propose doing. . . . Remove an

      obstacle from the way! What obstacle? And whose way?

      JOB ARTHUR. I think it's pretty plain what the obstacle is.

      WILLIE. Oh, ay. Tell us then.

      JOB ARTHUR. The obstacle to Labour is Capital.

      WILLIE. And how are we going to put salt on Capital's tail?

      JOB ARTHUR. By Labour we mean us working men; and by Capital we mean

      those that derive benefit from us, take the cream off us and leave us

      the skim.

      WILLIE. Oh, yes.

      JOB ARTHUR. So that, if you're going to remove the obstacle, you've

      got to remove the masters, and all that belongs to them. Does

      everybody agree with me?

      VOICES (loud). Ah, we do--yes--we do that--we do an' a'--yi--yi--

      that's it!

      WILLIE. Agreed unanimously. But how are we going to do it? Do you

      propose to send for Williamson's furniture van, to pack them in? I

      should think one pantechnicon would do, just for this parish. I'll

      drive. Who'll be the vanmen to list and carry?

      JOB ARTHUR. It's no use fooling. You've fooled for thirty years, and

      we're no further. What's got to be done will have to be begun. It's

      for every man to sweep in front of his own doorstep. You can't call

      your neighbours dirty till you've washed your own face. Every parish

      has got its own vermin, and it's the business of every parish to get

      rid of its own.

      VOICES. That's it--that's it--that's the ticket--that's the style!

      WILLIE. And are you going to comb 'em out, or do you propose to use

      Keating's?

      VOICES. Shut it! Shut it up! Stop thy face! Hold thy gab!--Go on,

      Job Arthur.

      JOB ARTHUR. How it's got to be done is for us all to decide. I'm

      not one for violence, except it's a force-put. But it's
    like this.

      We've been travelling for years to where we stand now--and here the

      road stops. There's a precipice below and a rock-face above. And

      in front of us stand the masters. Now there's three things we can

      do. We can either throw ourselves over the precipice; or we can lie

      down and let the masters walk over us; or we can GET ON.

      WILLIE. Yes. That's all right. But how are you going to get on?

      JOB ARTHUR. Well--we've either got to throw the obstacle down the

      cliff--or walk over it.

      VOICES. Ay--ay--ay--yes--that's a fact.

      WILLIE. I quite follow you, Job Arthur. You've either got to do for

      the masters--or else just remove them, and put them somewhere else.

      VOICES. Get rid on 'em--drop 'em down the shaft--sink 'em--ha' done

      wi' 'em--drop 'em down the shaft--bust the beggars--what do you do

      wi' vermin?

      WILLIE. Supposing you begin. Supposing you take Gerald Barlow, and

      hang him up from his lamp-post, with a piece of coal in his mouth for

      a sacrament---

      VOICES. Ay--serve him right--serve the beggar right! Shove it down's

      throttle--ay!

      WILLIE. Supposing you do it--supposing you've done it--and supposing

      you aren't caught and punished--even supposing that--what are you

      going to do next?--THAT'S the point.

      JOB ARTHUR. We know what we're going to do. Once we can get our

      hands free, we know what we're going to do.

      WILLIE. Yes, so do I. You're either going to make SUCH a mess that

      we shall never get out of it--which I don't think you will do, for

      the English working man is the soul of obedience and order, and he'd

      behave himself to-morrow as if he was at Sunday school, no matter

      what he does to-day.--No, what you'll do, Job Arthur, you'll set

      up another lot of masters, such a jolly sight worse than what we've

      got now. I'd rather be mastered by Gerald Barlow, if it comes to

      mastering, than by Job Arthur Freer--oh, SUCH a lot! You'll be far

      less free with Job Arthur for your boss than ever you were with

      Gerald Barlow. You'll be far more degraded.--In fact, though I've

      preached socialism in the market-place for thirty years--if you're

      going to start killing the masters to set yourselves up as bosses--

      why, kill me along with the masters. For I'd rather die with

      somebody who has one tiny little spark of decency left--though it

      IS a little tiny spark--than live to triumph with those that have

      none.

      VOICES. Shut thy face, Houghton--shut it up--shut him up--hustle the

      beggar! Hoi!--hoi-ee!--whoo!--whoam-it, whoam-it!--whoo!--bow-wow!--

      wet-whiskers!---

      WILLIE. And it's no use you making fool of yourselves--- (His words

      are heard through an ugly, jeering, cold commotion.)

      VOICE (loudly). He's comin'.

      VOICES. Who?

      VOICE. Barlow.--See 's motor?--comin' up--sithee?

      WILLIE. If you've any sense left--- (Suddenly and violently

      disappears.)

      VOICES. Sorry!--he's comin'--'s comin'--sorry, ah! Who's in?--

      That's Turton drivin'--yi, he's behind wi' a woman--ah, he's comin'--

      he'll none go back--hold on. Sorry!--wheer's 'e comin'?--up from

      Loddo--ay--- (The cries die down--the motor car slowly comes into

      sight, OLIVER driving, GERALD and ANABEL behind. The men stand in

      a mass in the way.)

      OLIVER. Mind yourself, there. (Laughter.)

      GERALD. Go ahead, Oliver.

      VOICE. What's yer 'urry?

      (Crowd sways and surges on the car. OLIVER is suddenly dragged out.

      GERALD stands up--he, too, is seized from behind--he wrestles--is

     


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