I rap three times on the youth room door.
Mash ushers us inside, peeling Twizzlers apart. Dad lied. He swore we’d never get a lock-in again, but he has folded, buying us pizza and mint chocolate chip ice cream. There’s a Happy Graduation, Class of 2017 banner hanging in the hallway.
We’ve been threatened and warned within an inch of our lives. Threats and warnings we ignore with marvelous gusto. This time, we have better intentions. And this time, there are no microwaves. Dad made sure of it.
Janie Lee and I sneak out the moment the coast is clear, this time with her leading the way. I tell her with moves like that, I’ll give her a tombstone inscription. Janie Lee Miller, born 2000—d.? IN LOVING MEMORY: Acquired Balls Along the Way.
She shoves me in the butt with her UGG.
I take up residence on the floor below Janie Lee’s papasan—Davey has saved me a pillow stack—and we all wait for Woods to set Einstein in its cradle. He has promised this night will be our favorite Einstein the Whiteboard Meeting of all time. I kick things off with the same old joke. “Let’s start with glads, sads, and sorries, and then a prayer.”
“Ha, ha, ha.” Fifty launches another pillow at my head. He quickly adds, “I’m not going out for vodka. And you”—he slaps Mash on the back—“aren’t throwing up. Gag-free night, you hear me?”
“Evolution is possible,” Davey whispers in my ear.
Fifty’s not the only one sporting a change. Woods offers the marker to Janie Lee and says, “Gather round, children, the lady has something to say.”
Janie Lee flips the board around for our viewing pleasure. At the top, in her handwriting, are these words: WAYS TO GET FIFTY A CORN DOLLY.
Davey chuckles. Mash outright loses his cool.
“Oh, hell no,” Fifty says.
He is up, tackling Janie Lee to the carpet before she reads the last word. This is the invitation. Everyone piles on. Laughing. We are a love sandwich.
I pry the marker from her nimble fingers and wiggle my way free of the body mountain. While they are still unraveling themselves, Fifty farts, Mash asks if anyone brought Peeps, and Woods tells everyone to “shush or we’ll be found out.” Neither Janie Lee nor Davey moves from the bottom of the pile.
I abscond to the couch with Einstein and write a new goal: WAYS TO BLOW UP EINSTEIN.
Everyone stares bug-eyed at Woods, waiting for a reaction. I have thrown down the gauntlet. His left eyebrow is up in the Canadian border. He smirks. He says, “Five bullet points, McCaffrey, and the marker is yours forever.”
“I could do five bullet points in my sleep,” I taunt.
We all laugh when Brother Scott McCaffrey knocks on the door and tells us, “If you’re going to blow up the board, do it on your own time, and for the love of all that’s holy, not at church.”
Billie McCaffrey, born 1999—d. never. IN LOVING MEMORY: She can’t be contained.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Kelly Sonnack, Rosemary Brosnan, Alyssa Miele—there are no words to adequately express how thankful I am to travel this road with you. As a human, as an author, you make me better. You helped me be brave enough to tell this story.
To the entire team at HarperTeen—especially Bethany Reis, Maya Packard, Olivia Russo, Bess Braswell, Heather Daugherty, and Erin Fitzsimmons—you continue to make my dreams come true. That is no small task. Thank you. Thank you.
Patricia Riley, Maggie Stiefvater, Sarah Batista-Pereira—this book would not exist without your wisdom, investment, and care. Thank you.
David Arnold, Ruta Sepetys, Erica Rodgers, Kristin Tubb, RaeAnn Parker, Paige Crutcher, Lauren Thoman, and Holly Westlund—no author could ask for better critiquers and friends.
It can be a perilous thing to be an author. One of the best safeguards is a great community. Here are some of the people who shepherded my life through the writing of this book: Victoria Schwab, Brenna Yovanoff, my Nashville taco crew, Batcave 2014, Christa Desir, Alina Klein, Sharon Cameron, Kate Dopirak, Joy Hensley, Brooke Buckley, S. R. Johannes, Myra McEntire, Stephanie Appell, Skywalker, Tessa Gratton and Natalie Parker, Julie Murphy, Bethany Hagen, Katie and Leah, Madcap Retreats, Midsouth SCBWI, Parnassus Books, Fannie Flagg (for giving me Idgie when I was a teen), and all the amazing teachers and librarians and booksellers who have been so supportive (especially Julie Stokes and the SEYA crew).
Mom, Dad, Matt, and my whole wonderful family—I love you so much. Thank you for everything. Carla and Christa, you are evergreen. This one was for you.
To the readers—you will always be my better half.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Photo by Carla LaFontaine
COURTNEY “COURT” STEVENS grew up among rivers, cornfields, churches, and gossip in the small-town South. She is a former adjunct professor, youth minister, and Olympic torch bearer. She has a pet whale named Herman, a band saw named Rex, and several books with her name on the spine: Faking Normal, The Lies About Truth, and the e-novella The Blue-Haired Boy. She lives in Nashville, Tennessee. You can visit her online at www.courtneycstevens.com.
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PRAISE FOR DRESS CODES FOR SMALL TOWNS
“Courtney Stevens bats for the fences from the first page, capturing the complicated love of family, the simple love of home, the sustaining love of friendship, the quiet, steady love that comes from faith, the messy love that blooms between two people, and the most difficult love of all: the ability to know and love yourself for who you are. I dare you not to love this book.”
—Stephanie Appell, manager of books for young readers, Parnassus Books
“No one writes family and heart and the South like Courtney Stevens. Dress Codes for Small Towns is a poetic love letter to the complexities of teenage identity and the frustrations of growing up in a place where everything fits in a box—except you. This book cannot be contained.”
—David Arnold, author of Kids of Appetite
“Courtney Stevens carries us into the best kind of mess: deep friendships, small-town southern gossip, unexpected garage art, and unfolding romantic identity. When I finished Dress Codes for Small Towns, you could hear my smile squeak from way across the room.”
—Jaye Robin Brown, author of Georgia Peaches and Other Forbidden Fruit
“Courtney Stevens delivers a cherished gift for our middle grade and high school readers. The gift of friendship. The gift of safe places. The gift of love. And, most important, the gift of acceptance.”
—Julie R. Stokes, literacy coordinator, Dalton Middle School, Dalton, Georgia
“With Dress Codes for Small Towns, Courtney Stevens firmly reasserts herself as a master storyteller of young adult fiction, crafting stories bursting with humor, heart, and the deepest sort of empathy.”
—Jeff Zentner, William C. Morris Award winner for The Serpent King
“With singing prose and a rollicking plot, Stevens presents a rich palette of characters daring to brave familial and societal expectations to become what they’re meant to be. A spirited, timeless tale of teen self-discovery in those tense, formative high school moments, captured with grace, lyricism, and insight.”
“Poignant. Stevens moves the narrative beyond mere small-town drama by building in-depth characters; examining boundaries between friendship and romance, and different generational approaches to religion; and confronting gender and sexual assumptions head-on. A beautifully written and nuanced exploration of human connection, self-discovery, and living to the fullest no matter what others might think.”
—ALA Booklist (starred review)
&nbs
p; “An instant classic. This is The Perks of Being a Wallflower without the angst, for a new generation. A good choice for every collection.”
—SLJ
BOOKS BY COURTNEY STEVENS
Faking Normal
The Lies About Truth
Dress Codes for Small Towns
CREDITS
COVER ART BY JENNIFER HEUER
COVER DESIGN BY HEATHER DAUGHERTY
COPYRIGHT
HarperTeen is an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers.
DRESS CODES FOR SMALL TOWNS. Copyright © 2017 by Courtney Stevens. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
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Library of Congress Control Number: 2016949991
ISBN 978-0-06-239851-2
EPub Edition © August 2017 ISBN 9780062398536
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FIRST EDITION
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