Also by Cordelia Jensen
Skyscraping
PHILOMEL BOOKS
an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC
375 Hudson Street, New York, NY 10014
Copyright © 2018 by Cordelia Jensen.
Seneca Village Map Source: Egbert Viele via Wikimedia Commons.
Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader.
Philomel Books is a registered trademark of Penguin Random House LLC.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Jensen, Cordelia, author. | Title: The way the light bends / Cordelia Jensen. | Description: New York, NY : Philomel Books, [2018]
Summary: Although best friends as children, Linc and her adopted sister have drifted apart as Holly excels at school, sports, and pleasing their mother, while Linc struggles academically and yearns to be a photographer. |
Identifiers: LCCN 2017029204 | ISBN 9780399547447 (hardcover) | ISBN 9780399547461 (e-book) | Subjects: | CYAC: Novels in verse. | Sisters—Fiction. | Individuality—Fiction. | Photography—Fiction. | Dating (Social customs)—Fiction. | Family life—New York (State)— New York—Fiction. | New York (N.Y.)—Fiction. |
Classification: LCC PZ7.5.J46 Way 2018 | DDC [Fic]—dc23 | LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017029204
Ebook ISBN 9780399547461
Edited by Liza Kaplan.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Version_2
For every teen who has struggled with self-esteem and made choices—at times—that reflect this struggle,
I see you.
I believe in you.
In destruction, there is creation.
CONTENTS
Title Page
Also by Cordelia Jensen
Copyright
Dedication
Map
CAPTURINGWHAT’S ALIVE
IN RHYTHM
TOGETHER, APART
PEER THROUGH
BETWEEN US
THROUGH THE DOOR
SHIELDING
UNEVEN
VERTEBRAE TO VERTEBRAE
CALCULATIONS
COURAGE
TWO ROUTES
OVERLAP
HOVERING
MORE/LESS
ART FOR SCIENTISTS
SPELL CASTING
THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN
LOST TRACK
SIDELINES
CARRIAGES
DIMLY LIT
DAYDREAM
COLLAPSING SAILS
DESTRUCTION
PROTECTION
ROSES & THORNS
ENOUGH CHANGE
SNAP & CLICK
TRANSPORT
THE LONG WAY HOME
BALANCING
PRIORITIES
PLAYING ALONG
STATUES
IMAGINE ANYTHING
INNOVATION
CONTRASTING
POWER DYNAMICS
STUCK
BEAM OF LIGHT
QUICKENING HEART
DUST OFF
FALLEN CASTLE
WATCHING
THEM/NOT US
TWINKLING
HOLD TIGHT
SOMETHING BIG
TURN AROUND
MESSY
GHOSTS #1
WHOLENESS
SATURDAY NIGHT
HAZY LIGHT
BORN TO BE
INVASION
ALMOST
RESTS
OUR SUNDAY RELIGION
EXCUSES
ALLOWANCES
CIRCLES
INSTINCT
PREDATORS
WEIGHT
SUSPENDED
STUCK
CUT & PASTE
CONSIDERATIONS
STONE CASTLE
CONTINUOUS FOCUS
STAINS
CERTAINTY
BLANK LEAVES
TRANSFORMING
SWIRLING
OVERLAPPING SHADOWS
COLOR ADJUSTMENT
DEPTH OF FIELD
IN FRONT/BEHIND
SCHEDULING
SURREALISM
LIGHT-HEADED
PHOTO CLASS #1, SATURDAY, OCTOBER 20TH
26 DAYS UNTIL IAA APPLICATION DUE
STRENGTHENING
MIND-CAMERAS
COMPOSITION
TRACING
COMMUTING
BLINK & FLY
DEVELOPINGAUTOMATIC FLASH
ARTIST’S STATEMENT FOR INNOVATIVE ARTS ACADEMY APPLICATION
MY OWN SETTLEMENT
TRACES
REWORK
TUNE OUT
DANGLING
ABOUT (WITHOUT) ME
DISTORTIONS
HAND ON WINDOW
ARTIST’S STATEMENT FOR INNOVATIVE ARTS ACADEMY APPLICATION
SHOCKWAVE
UNEARTHED
SPIN & CHANGE
FOUNDATION
SWIRLING
LEADING
CHANGING THE SUBJECT
DYNAMIC TENSION
PHOTO CLASS #2, SATURDAY, OCTOBER 27TH
19 DAYS UNTIL IAA APPLICATION DUE
ENVISIONING
BALANCING
EXCUSES
TUNNELING
RELEVANCE
MATCHING
PUSH/PULL
INDIVIDUAL
MEDITATIONS
NEGOTIATIONS
DEFEATED
THE WAY THE LIGHT BENDS
PAUSES
EXPOSED
ALMOSTS
POINT OF VIEW
LOOKING UP AT ME
QUESTION MARKS
ATTENTION
FACES
GHOSTS #2 & #3
A PORTRAIT OF ME
BREATH IN
FORTUNES
REACHING
SECRET LANGUAGE
NO DISGUISE
&nbs
p; MADE UP
A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE
MELTING
CHARGES
SLIDE AWAY
TRANSFORMATIONS
INTERSECTIONS
SCATTERED
SIGNIFICANCE
PREVISUALIZATION
PHOTO CLASS #3, SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 3RD
12 DAYS UNTIL IAA APPLICATION DUE
2 DAYS UNTIL ROUGH DRAFT DUE
SURPRISE.
SHOW MY EYES
LAYERING EVERY MOMENT
THE WHOLE SECRET
SUMMITING
AN EXCEPTION
SIDESTEPPING
STITCHING
OVERLAYING
PRACTICALLY
DELETE
COULD HAVE BEEN
SIDE-HUG
ARTIST’S STATEMENT FOR INNOVATIVE ARTS ACADEMY APPLICATION
PINGS
STARE & MEMORIZE
MONOTONY
SPEEDING UP
KEEP IN MIND
SUPERIMPOSE
POSING
SUDDENLY, EVERYTHING
ZOOM
SOPHOMORE RESEARCH PROJECT
DUOFOLD
PACING
WHAT’S MISSING
TRAILS OF LEAVES
BLANK PRINT
PUSH IN
TRANSPARENCY
A BLOCK AWAY
REPLACING
IMAGES
PHOTO CLASS #4, SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 10TH
5 DAYS UNTIL IAA APPLICATION DEADLINE
MINUTES LEFT
HISTORY UNSEEN
WITHOUT A CHANCE
PROPELLING
LOCATING
AFTER DREAMS
STRETCHING
IN ORDER
POUNDING
WORTHINESS
DRIFT & HOLD
FORGETTING
A HALO
FLASHES IN THE DARK
FRAMINGSOMETHING INSIDE
DOUBLE MOMENT
LAYERS
EVERY ANGLE
WATCH
AT LEAST
WHAT BELONGS
SENDING
IN THE AIR
OVERTAKING
CLARITY
NOTHING & EVERYTHING
LOOKING DOWN
PASSES
NOT SURPRISED
BLURRY
SWALLOWS
TIME-LAPSE
FADING
AS, IN, STILL
GHOSTS #4
TUMBLEWEEDS
APPARITION
VIRTUALLY
IF I AM
IN HER HANDS
IN, OUT
CYBER SPACE
FLYING THROUGH
RISKS
FASTER/SLOWER
WINGS
INTERLACED
VOICES FALL
ALTERED
ESCAPE
FLUORESCENCE
JUXTAPOSITION
BEFORE THE LIGHT SHIFTS
ABERRATIONS
SNAP & SCATTER
HISTORY IS ALL
PERIPHERY
FOUNTAIN ANGEL
DIZZY
EXCAVATION
INTERSECTION
GENEROSITY
OVERFLOWING
SOMETIMES
BACK THROUGH THE GATE
IN/AWAY
FUNCTIONS
TOUCH
LUCIDITY
EMPTY SPACE
GESTURES
THE RIGHT MEDICINE
WORDLESS
A SPACE FOR US
REENTERING
ARRIVAL
BUT/AND/THEN
QUICKSAND
SEE BEYOND
THE GOOD PARTS
TURN OFF
PARTS OF OURSELVES
BETTER THAN
MAKE A WISH
WHERE THE LIGHT PASSES THROUGH
ALL AT ONCE
LETTING IT OUT
SIMULTANEOUSLY
COMPOSITION II
SHIMMERS
PROMISE
GIFTS
SOMEDAY
THIS MOMENT NOW
ONE LAST FRAMEHIGH UP, HOLDING
Acknowledgments
CAPTURING
WHAT’S ALIVE
With a click
and a breath
I capture branches
squirrels
pigeons
two girls
skipping
in time
everything alive, pulsing—
the park
the heartbeat of Manhattan,
of who we used to be.
Holly doesn’t notice
the beauty in
the shape of a puddle
the curved blade of grass,
doesn’t remember
jogs right by
the trickling stream that
became rushing water when our wands
commanded.
Too focused on her boyfriend Stefano
on school
on soccer
for any memory of us.
I take picture after picture
till I’m so far behind
I’m not sure I can catch up.
IN RHYTHM
We used to be
two girls
walking
hand in hand
arms wrapped around each other
tight
her hand deep brown,
mine freckly, white,
our footsteps falling in rhythm
two beams of light
two stretching shadows
moving side by side
in tempo
in time.
TOGETHER, APART
Now we are
two girls
walking
through Central Park
//together, apart//
one
hands wrapped tight around
my camera, my phone
the other
hands wrapped tight around
someone else
t p
w a
o t
h
s
one in light
one in shadow
diverging.
PEER THROUGH
Finally,
we stop in front of our brownstone.
Being on academic probation
means going
straight home
after school.
Our parents text,
che
ck in with me,
with Holly,
make sure I’m following
their command.
Today
I have no choice.
But if Holly wasn’t here, if Stefano wasn’t here,
I would walk
straight past
the house
turn down the street
peer through the window
of the Westside Center for
the Arts—
with only
the wind
watching.
BETWEEN US
Instead,
Holly & I walk
through the gate together
us two.
But even as we do
her Greek prince
comes between us
grabs her brown hand
with his beige one.
The bird carved into
the side of our steps
frowns a little.
We used to play
the prince slept
while the princesses
ruled the land.
Now Stefano takes Holly’s key
opens the door
like it’s his own.
Once we were Linc & Holly
trading snow cones
chasing squirrels
wearing matching sandals.
But now,
it’s Holly & Stefano
Linc.
THROUGH THE DOOR
Holly & Stefano rush past me
they know Mom & Dad aren’t home
they close themselves in her room.
I turn the volume up
on my talk show.
Three loud women squawk at each other.
Open my chemistry textbook.
Elements that belong to the same group
usually show chemical similarities.
As the women interrupt each other,
I write down the rule.
My pencil lingers over the words
belong
group
and
usually.
SHIELDING
Once upon a time,
sixth grade,
Holly would help me
with my homework.
I would help her
decorate her room,
or let her score goals on me,
or teach her a new drawing technique.
We’d make deals.
“I’ll help you with your science project
if you help with mine for art.”
One day,
a guy named Gabe
asked Holly to the movies.
Mom would only let her go
if there was a group.
Holly got Gabe
to ask Max
to take me