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    Chagrin River Review Issue 1

    Page 3
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      He looked at the young family standing there all together.

      “There’s nothing physically wrong with him at all,” the doctor said without parsing words.

      Phil stood there dumbfounded.

      “There’s nothing wrong with him at all?” he asked.

      “No,” the doctor said. His blue eyes looked down at the kitchen floor, and it looked as though the floor might swallow him whole if he did not speak. “He’s perfectly okay.”

      “Then why won’t he eat? His temperature? Did we make him?— You know?” Brenda asked.

      Doctor Belliard shook his head no.

      “It’s like when you’re mother tells you: if you eat your vegetables you’ll live a long life!” the doctor said very sarcastic. He paused, and then said: “The boy told me he wanted to jump off his roof and kill himself.”

      Phil shrugged his shoulders: “Why in the world would he do that?”

      Doctor Belliard let out an exhausted breath. “So he could be with his dog up in heaven,” he told them. “So I had no choice but to tell him the truth.”

      Phil looked over at his wife who was holding their son in her arms. He looked at the doctor standing in his kitchen and then out of the living room window at the ice that was starting to melt along the edges of the pond. He could still make out where the dog had fallen through. Now there was just a hole there, where it had been cut in a square to get him out; and the opal color of the sky was reflecting blue on that one small spot atop the pond, where it was shining down and holding itself there even if it were only for another second.

      Mercedes Lawry

      Point of Departure

      under the wet song of November

      dark as a blood spot,

      no hovering of wing, great

      sacks of gray in the sky

      as all fury at stolen hope

      startles the last silence

      of a world where language

      has escaped, where shadows

      lie against the ground

      like small deaths,

      the cry of a lone hawk

      shears the crush of silence

      like the intake of breath

      at the point of departure

      Curious Joys

      Pardon the furniture arranged to perfection,

      interior mirror of calculated space

      with horizontal mimicking the serene

      and vertical, an anchor of self in nothing.

      Guarded, she steps and sits, lifts

      and exhales, measuring her accountability.

      How close are the floodwaters?

      Wind at window and darkness on its way.

      She will not wither or plead.

      Place is how her soul endures, natural disasters

      kept at arm’s length with a glib phrase.

      Her own caustic journey seeps across the floor.

      Marking shadows, she feels a gladness,

      slow transformation of the pale greens

      sufficient as the hours and her own instinct to inhabit.

      Use Your Words

      Pause, end of pause.

      Attempt at language.

      Breathe shallow, breathe deep.

      Disturbance, as if a page

      had been torn from a book.

      Ruthless, this theft

      and those helping with the getaway,

      those sentence demons

      licking at the punctuation.

      Take sound, swallow meaning.

      Even if the rain is scribbling

      at the window, the readers

      will not look up.

      Clues on the shelves,

      string them together

      and slip them into your bones.

      Glean story from absence.

      Word, no word, all words

      in hazardous commotion.

      A Small Bravery

      The ragged wind stirs slightly.

      No indication of the lost returned.

      Words break apart, a uselessness of sound, then silence.

      This too is the great death

      mocking what we know.

      Salt and roses, twigs and clay.

      The headiness of a river down a mountain,

      that cold water a force and loud.

      What travels on the earth marks an absence.

      We are elusive and might deserve forgiveness.

      Whether we pause among the trees or continue

      weeping into the morning.

      Barbara Brooks

      B Heatr

      He is here again, his white van

      and a butterscotch light for warnings.

      He has come to see the heat pump. Yesterday

      he came twice. Maybe he needed a part.

      He kneels by the metal lungs

      of the heat pump, doesn’t disturb

      the wood thrush singing its E-OH-LAY. Or the wrens

      ferrying insects to the nest in the dryer vent.

      Lifting the panel, he kneels

      in front, an altar of temperature.

      I can’t see what he is doing,

      spring leaves block my view.

      He has removed the pump’s cover.

      It is sitting in the drive. I didn’t see him

      bring a new one, besides he is alone.

      A new one is too heavy for one to carry.

      It’s 2 pm, he is packing up. He gets out,

      monkeys with the For Sale sign

      at the end of the drive.

      Puts it in his truck.

      The house has been empty for a year,

      its previous owners gone north.

      On the deck, I listen, a yellow-throated warbler,

      it will be leaving soon.

     

      On Productivity

      The Holsteins salt and pepper

      spring-green grass. It’s the early

      morning cud chewing, they rest

      under the warming

      sun.

      Heat waves

      begin

      to shimmer

      the pavement

      as I drive

      to evaluate

      Ms. Smith.

      Drop by drop, the cows’ udders swell.

      Milk bags sway between their legs.

      Time to enter the milking shed. Each tag read,

      logged into the record, the day’s production

      tallied.

      Daily, a computer

      calculates

      my quota,

      need

      twenty-eight

      visits.

      Number 50 is dropping off,

      probably due to age. An old milk cow

      isn’t much good for anything

      except dog food.

      William Greenway

      Chagrin Falls, Memorial Day

      If there were no dead

      we would create them,

      we-walking-by-the-river-named-

      for-failure, hands full of each

      other, custard, balloons, see them

      before us stratified, water pouring over

      a blessing too late, watch steps down

      slick rock, every second maybe an edge.

      Chagrin falls, yes, but does it

      rise again, like spray, like

      plasma shuddering free, and like winter

      breath into night sky, does it gell

      in cold space? Lovers add

      a germ that flies a comet's tail,

      and a yolk begins to pulse in endless dark,

      iambic, like a heart of hope and fear.

      A Feeling’s Like a Face

      A feeling’s like a face

      that fades with time from the mind

      and memory can’t replace

      the frame of empty space

      where a lover’s eyes once shined,

      and a feeling’s like a face.

      We remember every place

      where face and feeling chimed

      but memory can’t replace

      the first nor final fierce embrace


      when soul and body twined

      for a feeling’s like a face

      that other, later loves erase

      what once was so defined

      and memory can’t replace

      what time and loneliness deface

      when love and loveliness decline,

      for a feeling’s like a face

      that memory can’t replace.

      Blind Hearing Ear Dog

      I try, by pat and paw, to translate

      siren shriek, smoke alarm, warning

      jingle of the ice cream truck,

      but all he really wants to hear

      is what I get unwanted all the time:

      aren’t you cute, what a sweetie,

      though how would I convey such pap?

      Rub of fur, nip, lick, or nuzzle?

      Just because I can’t see what he sees—

      colors, the ray-shot ocean depths,

      maybe even angels—

      he feels superior.

      But deaf as a whole range-line of fence posts,

      he’ll never know what I hear:

      strange words that sift down from other worlds,

      bat squeak, hawk whistle, mouse rustle,

      the scrape and lisp of fallen leaves,

      and the sudden sounds of hidden things

      like the flap and whisper of white wings.

     

      On Buying a Watch Online for My Birthday

      I’ve tried to live with the digitals,

      those cyber soldiers who claim

      to be advancing, goose-stepping

      toward some future place,

      but really standing still, mute

      beefeaters at the palace gate.

      I prefer hands

      moving almost imperceptibly,

      creeping up on whatever’s waiting.

      An illusion, sure, but not so

      abstract, not ciphers beamed

      by satellite,

      but figures on a real road

      (albeit round) you get to trail

      on the way to what

      lies ahead, where

      the movement on your wrist,

      literal or analogous,

      will continue without you,

      morphing or marching

      moment to moment,

      surviving your cells

      and the ticking of your doomed heart

      toward some zenith, high noon

      or midnight

      that tolls to tell,

      your time is now.

     

      Late Show, All Hallows

      The whole problem of life is to become transparent to transcendence.

      —Karlfield Durckheim

      On almost every channel

      someone is weeping,

      about a mother, a sister, a wife,

      a life, a cancer.

      Is there no other fear on tonight

      outside of ourselves?

      Let’s see: murder. Gangsters. Crime

      scene. Intervention. Murder.

      Not even monsters, Godzillas

      frozen at the bottom of the world

      that thaw when something radioactive

      tumbles off a ship, blows up,

      slips off a sandy shore

      into a black lagoon.

      No mad doctor whipping up

      something nasty with a teaspoon

      of toxicity, a dash of lightning,

      a soupçon of rotting flesh.

      Okay, just more metaphors

      for the human condition, I get it.

      Too bad we can’t project a little better,

      get whatever gnaws away at our innards

      out, give it a gentle face, show it on

      some screen other than the strung-up,

      wrinkled bedsheet of our lives.

      Or flip to The Transparency Channel

      showing what might be on the other side,

      or at least could have been if we’d sprung

      for the higher tier, instead of

      reruns of series seven of

      What We’ve Settled For,

      starring Fur and Fangs,

      wearing the masks of our reflections.

      Sean Forbes

      Haiku

      Winters in Southside Jamaica, Queens

      1

      My grandmother praised

      the deep silence of winter:

      drug deals forced indoors.

      2

      No summer drive-bys

      or innocent neighbors lost

      to dull black semis.

      3

      We live on a block

      of ten row houses, can hear

      every goddamn sound.

      4

      Eight in the morning.

      My boots should crunch snow instead

      of pink topped crack vials.

      5

      Hey, yo, curly top!

      You gotta sister? Bet she’ll

      gimme some fine trim.

      6

      Grandma prays for me

      to fail the ghetto before

      puberty begins.

      7

      Damon approaches

      me. Asks if I want to make

      a large roll of cash.

      8

      Christmas Eve. Best friend

      shot dead. Closed casket. Barely

      a face left on him.

      9

      Morning, purple sky.

      Two drug dealers escort Mom

      to the train station.

      10

      Damon slams me up

      against a brick wall. Whispers

      he likes boys my size.

      11

      Boy, you betta get

      your hide home. Your Grandmama

      worried sick ‘bout you.

      12

      Grandma delivers

      plates of ackee and codfish

      to every drug house.

      13

      Spark of a fired gun

      in cold night air. Damon holds

      my trembling right hand.

      14

      Grandpa spends every

      winter with his lover in

      Providencia.

      15

      Neighbors wonder why

      we’ve never been robbed, even

      though Grandpa’s not here.

      16

      Undercover cop

      busts Damon. Twenty to life,

      that’s the word at church.

      17

      She dreams he takes his

      woman to secret islands

      deep beneath the sea.

      18

      Grandma holds a lunch.

      Tells neighbors to befriend those

      kids they fear the most.

      19

      The blare of sirens,

      helicopter high above.

      Sounds I heard all night.

      David Oestreich

      Upon Finding a Dead Turkey

      Brother, you are fallen, wrecked, but

      worth your weight in sparrows

      to the flies

      that thrill your final flight

      toward wickerwork of quill and bone.

      Shrouded now by Queen Anne’s Lace,

      the shade of vultures

      wreathes your head

      (beaded red and blue in death as life).

      Your chestnut fan and soot brown maille

      hang limp, askew,

      and trailing remnants

      of a wing suggest coyote’s tracks.

      Who was ever grateful for you that is not

      grateful now?

      And who will

      note your loss but has not found you yet?

      Or who will say one prayer for us?

      Beacon at Marblehead, Ohio

      Beneath the lamp room; past the wires,

      the cans of kerosene; past steps still bearing

      whale-oil stains; outside the weathered door

      and window pane; beyond the brick and stucco—

      upon the relic shore (where no plaq
    ue frames

      a tidy paragraph) I kneel and read the bank

      of histories, written in shell ridges and the raised

      veins of once green leaves, now bound in sediment.

      By these light marks, set in this limestone shelf

      before the engineer carved his first blocks,

      my gaze may reach beyond this rocky coast,

      these bare islands, to the obscurity of ages.

      After the Fact

     

      Something was wrong—that gear

      was missing and I was out back of the barn

      where we keep the plow blade and the stuffed

      manatee that sings Kissimmee, Kissimmee

      come on and kiss-a-me when you pull

      the lever on its back—anyway I’d gone out there

      because without that gear your love would

      never come back around and pulling

      that lever is no fun without you—

      I was one big reminiscence of Kissimmee

      ransacking bags of old clothes, cake toppers,

      programs from the symphony, and pictures of you

      the night of your solo up in Toledo—weird

      where you’d go after that—never saying

      bonne nuit when you left to remind me

      the night is a lady or waking me up when

      you came home—just sleeping in street clothes

      out in the old Lay-Z-boy—that’s back here too

      under a pile of aquariums, beer cans, and bath towels—

      a motel for anoles like the ones we kept finding

      on the wall in our room that night in Kissimmee—

      but that gear wouldn’t be under all that old crap—

      and now I’m starting to cry because I’m starting to think

      that the gear isn’t there and you’ll never come back

      much less will you kiss-a-me or ever remind me

      that men mistook mammals for mermaids and

      soon I’ll be blubbering my grizzled chin flapping

      like a manatee’s mandible mouthing the words

      to some stupid song only tourists have heard

      down in Kissimmee baby oh kiss-a-me baby oh baby

      what happened in Kissimmee?

      Just Another Blueeyed Boy

      Who’d left the windows open that night?

      Thirty-one degrees that darkest hour

      and frost on all the picture frames. At dawn,

      the chill of vodka shouted as loudly as it had

      before we stalked sullenly to bed.

     


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