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    I Hate and I Love


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      Catullus

      * * *

      I HATE AND I LOVE

      Translated by Peter Whigham

      Contents

      1

      5

      6

      7

      8

      9

      11

      13

      14

      32

      34

      37

      38

      39

      40

      43

      45

      46

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      50

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      58

      65

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      76

      77

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      83

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      91

      96

      99

      101

      104

      107

      109

      Follow Penguin

      GAIUS VALERIUS CATULLUS

      Born c. 84 BCE

      Died c. 54 BCE

      Taken from Peter Whigham’s translation of The Poems, first published in 1966.

      CATULLUS IN PENGUIN CLASSICS

      The Poems

      1

      To whom should I present this

      little book so carefully polished

      but to you, Cornelius, who have always

      been so tolerant of my verses,

      you

      who of us all has dared

      to take the whole of human history

      as his field

      – three doctoral and weighty volumes!

      Accept my book, then, Cornelius

      for what it’s worth,

      and may the Muse herself

      turn as tolerant an eye upon these songs

      in days to come.

      5

      Lesbia

      live with me

      & love me so

      we’ll laugh at all

      the sour-faced strict-

      ures of the wise.

      This sun once set

      will rise again,

      when our sun sets

      follows night &

      an endless sleep.

      Kiss me now a

      thousand times &

      now a hundred

      more & then a

      hundred & a

      thousand more again

      till with so many

      hundred thousand

      kisses you & I

      shall both lose count

      nor any can

      from envy of

      so much of kissing

      put his finger

      on the number

      of sweet kisses

      you of me &

      I of you,

      darling, have had.

      6

      Your most recent acquisition, Flavius,

      must be as unattractive as

      (doubtless) she is unacceptable

      or you would surely have told us about her.

      You are wrapped up with a whore to end all whores

      and ashamed to confess it.

      You do not spend bachelor nights.

      Your divan, reeking of Syrian unguents,

      draped with bouquets & blossoms etc.

      proclaims it,

      the pillows & bedclothes indented in several places,

      a ceaseless jolting & straining of the framework

      the shaky accompaniment to your sex parade.

      Without more discretion your silence is pointless.

      Attenuated thighs betray your preoccupation.

      Whoever, whatever she is, good or bad,

      tell us, my friend –

      Catullus will lift the two of you & your love-acts into the heavens

      in the happiest of his hendecasyllables.

      7

      Curious to learn

      how many kiss-

      es of your lips

      might satisfy

      my lust for you,

      Lesbia, know

      as many as

      are grains of sand

      between the oracle

      of sweltering Jove

      at Ammon &

      the tomb of old

      Battiades the First,

      in Libya

      where the silphium grows;

      alternatively,

      as many as

      the sky has stars

      at night shining

      in quiet upon

      the furtive loves

      of mortal men,

      as many kiss-

      es of your lips

      as these might slake

      your own obsessed

      Catullus, dear,

      so many that

      no prying eye

      can keep the count

      nor spiteful tongue fix

      their total in

      a fatal formula.

      8

      Break off

      fallen Catullus

      time to cut losses,

      bright days shone once,

      you followed a girl

      here & there

      loved as no other

      perhaps

      shall be loved,

      then was the time

      of love’s insouciance,

      your lust as her will

      matching.

      Bright days shone

      on both of you.

      Now,

      a woman is unwilling.

      Follow suit

      weak as you are

      no chasing of mirages

      no fallen love,

      a clean break

      hard against the past.

      Not again, Lesbia.

      No more.

      Catullus is clear.

      He won’t miss you.

      He won’t crave it.

      It is cold.

      But you will whine.

      You are ruined.

      What will your life be?

      Who will ‘visit’ your room?

      Who uncover that beauty?

      Whom will you love?

      Whose girl will you be?

      Whom kiss?

      Whose lips bite?

      Enough. Break.

      Catullus.

      Against the past.

      9

      Veraniolus,

      first of friends,

      have you returned

      to your own roof

      your close brothers

      & your mother

      still alive? In-

      deed it’s true you’re

      back again &

      safe & sound

      among us all.

      So now I’ll watch

      & listen to your

      anecdotes of

      Spanish men &

      Spanish places

      told as only

      you can tell them.

      I shall embrace

      your neck & kiss

      you on the mouth

      & on the eyes,

      Veraniolus …

      Of all light-hearted

      men & women

      none is lighter-

      hearted than Cat-

      ullus is to-day.

      11

      Furius, Aurelius, friends of my youth,

      whether I land up in the Far East,

      where the long-drawn roll of the Indian Ocean

      thumps on the beach,

      or whether I find myself surrounded by Hyrcanians,

      the supple Arabs, Sacians, Parthian bowmen,

      or in the land where the seven-tongued Nile

      colours the Middle Sea,

      whether I scale the pinnacles of the Alps

      viewing the monuments of Caesar triumphant,

      the Rhine, the outlandish seas of

      the ultimate Britons,

     
    ; whatever Fate has in store for me,

      equally ready for anything,

      I send Lesbia this valediction,

      succinctly discourteous:

      live with your three hundred lovers,

      open your legs to them all (simultaneously)

      lovelessly dragging the guts out of each of them

      each time you do it,

      blind to the love that I had for you

      once, and that you, tart, wantonly crushed

      as the passing plough-blade slashes the flower

      at the field’s edge.

      13

      I shall expect

      you in to dine

      a few days hence

      Fabullus mine,

      and we’ll eat well

      enough, my friend,

      if you provide

      the food & wine

      & the girl, too,

      pretty & willing.

      I, Catullus,

      promise you

      wine & wit &

      all the laughter

      of the table

      should you provide

      whatever food

      or wine you’re able.

      For, charmed Fabullus,

      your old friend’s purse

      is empty now

      of all but cobwebs!

      In return, the

      distillation

      of Love’s essence

      take from me, or

      whatever’s more

      attractive or

      seductive than

      Love’s essence. For

      Venus & her

      Cupids gave my

      girl an unguent,

      this I’ll give to

      you, Fabullus, and

      when you’ve smelt it

      all you’ll want the

      gods to do is

      make you one

      gigantic nose

      to smell it, always, with.

      14

      If, my irrepressible Calvus, I didn’t

      happen to love you more than my eyes

      this hoax gift of yours would have made me

      as cross as Vatinius …

      What have I done to deserve

      such (& so many) poets?

      I am utterly demoralised.

      May the gods scowl on whoever

      sent you this clutch of offenders

      in the first place.

      – A grateful client?

      I smell Sulla, the pedagogue.

      A recherché & freshly culled volume,

      such as this, could well come from his hands.

      And that’s as it should be – a meet &

      acceptable sign that your efforts

      (on his behalf) are not wasted.

      But the collection itself is implacably bad.

      And you, naturally, sent it along to Catullus

      – your Saturnalian bonne-bouche –

      so that Gaius, on this of all days,

      might suffer the refinements of tedium.

      No. Little Calvus. You won’t run away

      with this – for tomorrow, when the shops open,

      I shall comb the bookstalls for Caesius, Aquinus,

      Suffenus – all who excel in unpleasantness –

      and compound your present with interest.

      Until then, hence from my home, hence

      by the ill-footed porter who brought you.

      Parasites of our generation. Poets I blush for.

      32

      Call me to you

      at siesta

      we’ll make love

      my gold & jewels

      my treasure trove

      my sweet Ipsíthilla,

      when you invite

      me lock no doors

      nor change your mind

      & step outside

      but stay at home

      & in your room

      prepare yourself

      to come nine times

      straight off together,

      in fact if you

      should want it now

      I’ll come at once

      for lolling on

      the sofa here

      with jutting cock

      and stuffed with food

      I’m ripe for stuffing

      you,

      my sweet Ipsíthilla.

      34

      Moving in her radiant care

      chaste men and girls moving

      wholly in Diana’s care

      hymn her in this.

      Latona’s daughter, greatest

      of the Olympian race, dropped

      at birth beneath the olive trees

      on Delian hills,

      alive over mountain passes,

      over green glades and

      sequestered glens,

      – in the talkative burn,

      Juno Lucina in the groans

      of parturition, Hecat, fear-

      ful at crossed ways, the nymph

      of false moonlight.

      You whose menstrual course

      divides our year, stuff

      the farmer’s harvest barn

      with harvesting.

      Sacred, by whatever name invoked

      in whatever phase you wear, turn

      upon our Roman brood, of old

      your shielding look.

      37

      Nine posts, five doors, up the Clivus

      Victoriae, stands an

      unsavoury resort … unsavoury

      habitués inside,

      who think that only they have cocks,

      that only they can ruffle

      a pudendum, the rest of us

      as apt as goats. I could

      cheerfully bugger you all while

      you wait, kicking your heels.

      Your numbers, a hundred or so,

      leave me undaunted. Think

      of the man-power involved! And

      think of me now, scribbling

      each of your names in black letters

      on the house-front. For she

      whom once I loved as no other

      girl has been loved lives here.

      Who has fled from my touch & sight.

      Whom I fought for & could

      not keep … A mixed bunch – successful,

      respectable men swap

      places with dregs from the back-streets.

      She is open to all.

      And one, who outdoes his home-grown

      rabbits – Egnatius,

      the Spaniard with the beard, known for

      his wild dundrearies &

      glistening teeth, assiduously

      (with native urine) scrubbed.

      38

      Angst,

      ennui & angst

      consume my days & weeks,

      and you have not written

      or done anything to soothe my illness.

      I am piqued.

      So much for our friendship.

      Ah! Cornificius,

      a word from you would cure everything,

      though more full of tears

      than a line from Simonides.

      39

      Because he has bright white teeth, Eg-

      natius whips out a

      tooth-flash on all possible

      (& impossible) occasions.

      You’re in court. Counsel for defence

      concludes a moving per-

      oration. (Grin.) At a funeral,

      on all sides heart-broken

      mothers weep for only sons. (Grin.)

      Where, when, whatever the

      place or time – grin. It could be a

      sort of ‘tic’. If so, it’s

      a very vulgar tic, Egnatius,

      & one to be rid of.

      A Roman, a Tiburtine or

      Sabine, washes his teeth.

      Well-fed Umbrians & over-

      fed Etruscans wash theirs

      daily. The dark Lanuvians

      (who don’t need to), & we

      Veronese, all wash our teeth …

      But we keep them tucked in.

      We spare ourselves the nadir of

      inanity
    – inane

      laughter. You come from Spain. Spaniards

      use their morning urine

      for tooth-wash. To us that blinding

      mouthful means one thing &

      one only – the quantity of

      urine you have swallowed.

      40

      Whatever could have possessed you

      to impale yourself on my iambics?

      What ill-disposed deity inveigled you

      Ravidus, into this one-sided contest?

      Was it a letch for celebrity,

      at no matter what cost?

      – then you shall have it:

      ‘Ravidus, loving in the place Catullus loves,

      is lastingly nailed in this lampoon.’

      43

      O elegant whore!

      with the remarkably long nose

      unshapely feet

      lack lustre eyes

      fat fingers

      wet mouth

      and language not of the choicest,

      you are I believe the mistress

      of the hell-rake Formianus.

      And the Province calls you beautiful;

      they set you up beside my Lesbia.

      O generation witless and uncouth!

      45

      Phyllis Corydon clutched to him

      her head at rest beneath his chin.

      He said, ‘If I don’t love you more

      than ever maid was loved before

      I shall (if this the years not prove)

      in Afric or the Indian grove

      some green-eyed lion serve for food.’

      Amor, to show that he was pleased,

      approvingly (in silence) sneezed.

      Then Phyllis slightly raised her head

      (her lips were full & wet & red)

      to kiss the sweet eyes full of her:

      ‘Corydon mine, with me prefer

      always to serve unique Amor:

      my softer flesh the fire licks

      more greedily and deeper sticks.’

      Amor, to show that he was pleased,

      approvingly (in silence) sneezed.

      So loving & loved so, they rove

      between twin auspices of Love.

      Corydon sets in his eye-lust

      Phyllis before all other dust;

      Phyllis on Corydon expends

      her nubile toys, Love’s dividends.

      Could Venus yield more love-delight

      than here she grants in Love’s requite?

      46

      Now spring bursts

      with warm airs

     


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