The back garden was suitably overgrown. Jessica didn’t mind that either. She was in the mood for some vigorous weeding. In fact, she thought she might visit the garden centre the next day and buy a few plants. The lavender was very woody and could do with being replaced, and the flower beds needed a bit of colour in them. They were probably giving away bedding plants like petunias this late in the season.
She changed out of her stained travel clothes, showered and put on her pyjamas.
After she’d unpacked, she phoned Marty in Cork and told him about the awful flight.
‘Mum, that sounds terrible. Are you really okay?’ he asked. ‘Do you want me to come to Dublin to see you?’
‘No,’ she said, ‘although I might come to visit you.’
She’d only been to see him once since Jack’s death. On that visit, she’d kept crying as she thought how proud Marty’s father would have been to see him doing so well.
‘That would be brilliant,’ said Marty happily.
Next, she texted Liam in Australia to tell him she was home. She signed it with kisses and a little yellow smiley face. She’d never done that before, but she wanted to show Liam how much better she was feeling.
Then she made herself a cup of tea and wandered round the house. The house wasn’t different. Every bit of it still reminded her of Jack. But she was different. Stronger.
The plan she’d made before she went to Corfu wouldn’t be necessary. Upstairs in her bathroom, she found the container of pills. There were ones left over from when Jack was dying: sleeping pills, anti-anxiety pills and very strong painkillers. Jessica had decided that if she took them all and washed them down with paracetamol, then she was sure to die. It had seemed like a good plan at the time. She wanted to escape the pain of living.
That was before Corfu and the flight home. She’d thought she wanted to die, but it turned out, she hadn’t. When the plane had been diving in the sky, Jessica had realised she wanted to live. She simply hadn’t known how to live without Jack. There was a difference.
She put the pills in a bag. She’d take them to the pharmacy tomorrow to let the chemist get rid of them. It might be dangerous to wash them down the loo.
Then she climbed into the double bed with her gardening magazines.
‘I have great plans for the garden, Jack,’ she said out loud. ‘You’re going to love looking down on it. What do you think about hydrangea bushes?’
Susie phoned Finn as soon as they were on the bus leaving the airport.
‘You should have told me you’d landed,’ Finn said. ‘I wanted to come and pick you up.’
‘Well, it was all a bit messy because there was a lot of turbulence on our flight and we were met by airport ground staff to make sure we were all right,’ Susie said. She told him the whole story.
‘We thought we were going to die,’ yelled Chloe into the phone.
‘I’ll meet you at the bus stop beside the hotel,’ Finn said grimly.
‘Why did you say we thought we were going to die?’ demanded Susie when she hung up.
‘Because we did. Besides, it’s better if Finn thinks you almost died,’ Chloe said. ‘Then he might not be so cross with you for going to bed with someone else.’
A woman on the bus turned to look at them and said, ‘It sounds like the pair of you had one hell of a holiday.’
‘Oh, we did,’ said Chloe. ‘It was wild.’
Finn was standing there, looking anxious, when they got off the bus.
As soon as Finn hugged her, Susie began to cry.
‘It must have been terrible,’ Finn said, clinging to her.
Susie cried more. She wasn’t crying over the turbulence.
‘Give me the car keys and tell me where you parked,’ demanded Chloe.
‘Why?’ asked Finn.
‘Just do it,’ Susie added.
She took the two suitcases and hauled them over to the hotel car park where Finn’s car was parked.
‘What’s going on?’ Finn asked Susie when they were alone. He wasn’t stupid.
‘I slept with someone on holiday,’ Susie said straight out. Might as well get it over with. If he wanted to leave her, he would. She couldn’t bear the waiting. ‘I love you and it was a mistake, but I had to tell you.’
Finn’s freckled face was heartbroken, but he wasn’t sobbing. And he wasn’t looking at her with disgust. Not yet.
‘I thought girls kept things like that to themselves,’ he said, and his voice was hard.
‘I’m not “girls”. I’ve never done anything like this before and it was a mistake,’ Susie said. ‘I’m telling you because I don’t want secrets between us. When the plane was going through the turbulence, we did think we were going to die. The oxygen masks even fell down. Although the pilot said that was a mistake. I realised I didn’t want to start married life by lying to you.’
There. She’d said it all.
‘Why?’ he asked.
It was the one question to which Susie had no answer. She still didn’t know why she’d slept with Lucas.
‘You know what, you and Chloe take the car. I’ll get it later.’ Finn’s face was dark now.
‘But…’ began Susie.
‘No,’ he shouted. ‘Take it. You can leave the keys in the office for me. Put them in an envelope. I don’t want to see you.’
He turned away from her and walked off, head down.
Susie watched him go. There was nothing she could do or say to stop him.
She didn’t even cry any more. She just felt numb.
‘It didn’t go so well, then?’ said Chloe.
Susie slumped into the driver’s seat of Finn’s car. It was only a few years old, miles nicer and cleaner than her old banger. Finn kept it very tidy. She burst into tears again.
Chloe handed her a tissue.
A week went by and Susie’s Greek tan began to fade. She lost weight too. She didn’t feel hungry. Her work clothes began to feel loose.
‘Could we write a book about “The Break-Up Diet”?’ said Chloe, trying to make her laugh.
‘No, we’d have to call it “The Stupid Cow Diet”,’ Susie said sadly.
‘Any other guy would tell everyone,’ she said.
‘I know,’ Susie agreed.
She walked through the car park to her car and suddenly Finn was standing in front of her. He looked thinner too. And pale.
‘Hi,’ he said.
‘Hi,’ she said nervously. ‘How have you been?’
Finn took a step towards her. ‘Miserable,’ he said.
Susie felt warmth rise up inside her. ‘Miserable without me?’ she said hopefully.
He nodded. ‘I don’t want to know about it,’ he said. ‘Not now, not ever.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ she said, reaching out.
Finn opened his arms and Susie went into them. ‘I love you,’ she said. She buried her face in his jacket.
‘I love you too.’
‘Do you still want to get married?’ she asked.
‘Do you?’ he asked.
She wasn’t able to speak. Instead, her eyes brimming with tears, she nodded.
‘OK,’ Finn said. ‘I should tell you that my mother has decided profiteroles are out and we should have mini cupcakes instead.’
Susie felt the tears fall down her cheeks. A month ago, she’d have groaned at the thought of his mother. Now, she didn’t care. It was Finn she was marrying. His mother could have whatever she wanted. Susie had what she wanted. Now that she’d nearly lost it, she understood how precious it was.
‘Cupcakes sound fine to me,’ she mumbled, holding him close.
Quick Reads
Books in the Quick Reads series
101 Ways to get your Child to Read Patience Thomson
All These Lonely People Gervase Phinn
Black-Eyed Devils Catrin Collier
Buster Fleabags Rolf Harris
The Cave Kate Mosse
Chickenfeed Minette Walters
Cleanskin Val McDermid
A Cool Head Ian Rankin
Danny Wallace and the Centre of the Universe Danny Wallace
The Dare John Boyne
Doctor Who: Code of the Krillitanes Justin Richards
Doctor Who: I Am a Dalek Gareth Roberts
Doctor Who: Made of Steel Terrance Dicks
Doctor Who: Revenge of the Judoon Terrance Dicks
Doctor Who: The Sontaran Games Jacqueline Rayner
Dragons’ Den: Your Road to Success
A Dream Come True Maureen Lee
Girl on the Platform Josephine Cox
The Grey Man Andy McNab
The Hardest Test Scott Quinnell
Hell Island Matthew Reilly
Hello Mum Bernardine Evaristo
How to Change Your Life in 7 Steps John Bird
Humble Pie Gordon Ramsay
Last Night Another Soldier… Andy McNab
Life’s New Hurdles Colin Jackson
Life’s Too Short Val McDermid, Editor
Lily Adèle Geras
Money Magic Alvin Hall
One Good Turn Chris Ryan
The Perfect Holiday Cathy Kelly
The Perfect Murder Peter James
RaW Voices: True Stories of Hardship Vanessa Feltz
Reaching for the Stars Lola Jaye
Reading My Arse! Ricky Tomlinson
Star Sullivan Maeve Binchy
The Sun Book of Short Stories
Survive the Worst and Aim for the Best Kerry Katona
The 10 Keys to Success John Bird
The Tannery Sherrie Hewson
Traitors of the Tower Alison Weir
Twenty Tales from the War Zone John Simpson
We Won the Lottery Danny Buckland
Quick Reads
Short, sharp shots of entertainment
As fast and furious as an action film. As thrilling as a theme park ride. Quick Reads are short sharp shots of entertainment – brilliantly written books by bestselling authors and celebrities. Whether you’re an avid reader who wants a quick fix or haven’t picked up a book since school, sit back, relax and let Quick Reads inspire you.
We would like to thank all our partners in the Quick Reads project for their help and support:
Arts Council England
The Department for Business, Innovation and Skills
NIACE
unionlearn
National Book Tokens
The Reading Agency
National Literacy Trust
Welsh Books Council
Basic Skills Cymru, Welsh Assembly Government
The Big Plus Scotland
DELNI
NALA
Quick Reads would also like to thank the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills; Arts Council England and World Book Day for their sponsorship and NIACE for their outreach work.
Quick Reads is a World Book Day initiative.
www.quickreads.org.uk
www.worldbookday.com
Other resources
Free courses are available for anyone who wants to develop their skills. You can attend the courses in your local area. If you’d like to find out more, phone 0800 66 0800.
A list of books for new readers can be found on www.firstchoicebooks.org.uk or at your local library.
Publishers Barrington Stoke (www.barringtonstoke.co.uk) and New Island (www.newisland.ie) also provide books for new readers.
The BBC runs an adult basic skills campaign.
See www.bbc.co.uk/raw.
www.quickreads.org.uk www.worldbookday.com
About the Author
THE PERFECT HOLIDAY
Cathy Kelly is a number 1 international bestselling author. She worked as a journalist before becoming a novelist, and has published eleven previous novels. She is also an ambassador for UNICEF in Ireland. She lives in Wicklow with her partner and their twin sons.
Please visit www.cathykelly.com to discover more about Cathy Kelly.
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Also by Cathy Kelly
Woman to Woman
She’s the One
Never Too Late
Someone Like You
What She Wants
Just Between Us
Best of Friends
Always and Forever
Past Secrets
Lessons in Heartbreak
Once in a Lifetime
Copyright
Harper
HarperCollinsPublishers
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Published by HarperCollinsPublishers 2010
FIRST EDITION
Copyright © Cathy Kelly 2010
Cathy Kelly asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
EPub Edition © JANUARY 2010 ISBN: 978-0-007-35319-4
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