"I can do that." He hesitated. "I won't mislead you. I'm going to spend a lot of time with the boys, both in trips home and through the meshes. They'll be a big part of our lives."
"I've no problem with that." She laughed unevenly. "It's the marriage thing that scares me."
He stroked her hair. "I'll wait. Until you're ready."
She gave him her sultriest smile. "Hey, babe. I'm worth the wait."
Del laughed and kissed her. "That you are."
It had only been a day since Del's virtual conference with Kelric, but it felt as if far more time had passed. Today, when he "walked into" the virtual conference room, his pulse surged. He stood by the table, for all appearances calm and composed. Of course he wasn't "standing" anywhere. Sheathed from head to toe in his virt suit and lying on his back at a console, he was sweating like an asteroid jockey running out of oxygen.
The air rippled across the table—and a man appeared.
He was tall and broad-shouldered, perfect in form and feature, his hair as black as interstellar space, his eyes like red crystals.
Like carnelians.
Del bowed deeply and spoke in Highton. "My honor at your presence, Your Highness." His instinct was to say Your Majesty, but the Traders used Highness for their emperor.
Jaibriol Qox regarded him with a cold red stare. His voice was as chillingly perfect as the rest of him. "So. You are the one who claims to be my worst nightmare."
The blood drained from Del's face. It was hard to believe the man he faced was only eighteen; he looked and sounded much older. But sitting on the Carnelian Throne would age anyone. Jaibriol Qox, known to most people as Jaibriol the Third, could just as easily have called himself Del's worst nightmare.
Del wouldn't take back the words, but neither did he want to inflame the volatile situation he had created. So he said only, "President Loughten said you wanted to talk to me."
"She has told me of your request that I free a provider in return for your retracting your song."
Del gritted his teeth. It had been a condition, not a request, and he had never offered to retract anything, he agreed only not to resist efforts to suppress the song. But nothing of his anger showed; Claude was editing out all his responses except respect.
"The provider is Staver Aunchild's wife," Del said.
"Why do you care?" Qox said. "And why would a Ruby prince risk his freedom for this man?"
Del felt as if he were in a field of orbiting mines. One misfired word and he could destroy the Star Road. "He's my friend."
The emperor raised his eyebrow, nothing more, but that one gesture conveyed more disbelief than any words. "Indeed."
"Will you let her come home?" Del asked.
"I find myself unconvinced," Qox said, "that I should do anything for the man who accused me of mass genocide."
Del struggled to hold back his anger. He could bring up Tams Station or any other world. But Qox knew what his predecessors had done. This emperor hadn't been on the throne long enough to commit atrocities, but he carried the blood of his forefathers.
Del spoke quietly. "We each have our view of the universe, Your Highness. You and I won't change that here."
"Yet you would start a war," Qox said, "by performing this song during a politically charged event, a situation guaranteed to create a flood of propaganda."
Propaganda? He wanted to ask Qox how he would like to have his nerves fried by torture dust or his back shredded under a whip. The words strained to explode out of him. Somehow, he said only, "I sang what I knew."
"So you claim."
Del waited, sweating. Qox watched him with those unfathomable red eyes. Finally the emperor said, "Neither your leaders nor the Allieds wish another war. They have made it clear that they neither sanctioned nor encouraged your outburst."
Del refrained from saying the obvious. The Traders didn't want another war, either. The last one had drained them as much as it had worn out Del's people. "It's true, Your Highness. The decision was mine and mine alone. Those who knew the song strongly discouraged me from ever performing it."
Qox just looked at him. Here in the virtual universe, it was impossible to tell what he thought of Del's response. He gave no sign that it affected him at all.
"Very well," Qox finally said. "This time I will show mercy. In my benevolence, Prince Del-Kurj, I will overlook your paltry attempts to incite wrath against my people. If you fulfill the terms of your request, I will see that Staver Aunchild's wife returns to him."
Del hadn't realized how much he feared the consequences of what he'd done until Qox spoke that reprieve. As much as he hated feeling grateful to the man who embodied the worst of Aristo tyranny, he couldn't help the relief that poured over him.
He noticed, too, what Qox had said: fulfill the terms of your request. The emperor could have asked for a full retraction. He left it vague as to what Del agreed to do.
"Thank you, Your Highness," Del said. "You are generous." It was true, given how much worse Qox could have responded. Given that Qox also represented the most monstrous empire ever known to humanity, the "generous" part came hard to Del.
Qox regarded him steadily. "If you ever sing such a song again, I will consider it an act of war and act accordingly."
Del nodded stiffly. "I understand."
"Be careful, Prince Del-Kurj," the emperor said. "Don't run beyond your ability to catch yourself." With that, he disappeared with an abruptness that left no doubt as to his low opinion of the man he had come to see.
Del let out a breath and sagged against the table. It was over. At least for today, none of them would go to war.
Del stood on the balcony of his room and looked over the river, which caught sparks of light from the setting sun. He thought of Jaibriol Qox's last words: Don't run beyond your ability to catch yourself. Ironically, it reminded him of what his sister Soz had often said when they were children: Don't run so fast, you can't catch up with yourself. That was decades before the Traders had blown up her ship, killing her—and Qox's father. Del wondered what the emperor thought, knowing his own people had murdered his father rather than let the Skolians capture him.
"I ran home," Del said. He had almost outrun his life and family, but somehow he had found both before it was too late. Earth would be his adopted home for a while. It would never again be like that first year, when he had been no one except Del Arden, a struggling artist. That had been one of the hardest—and most satisfying—times of his life.
Del had found parts of himself here he had never expected. In signing his name, he had felt as if he were giving away pieces of his soul, but instead he had become more complete than he had been in years, perhaps ever.
He watched the light of the setting sun and sang softly to the world and star that had given birth to the human race:
Brighter than the crystal caves
Sunlight glancing on the waves
Sol's child, timeless and whole
Your gift was to heal my soul
Lyrics
Diamond Star
Lyrics by Catherine Asaro
Angel, be my diamond star
Before my darkness goes too far
Splinter through my endless night
Lightening my darkling sight
You're, you're, you're, you're
A diamond, a diamond, a diamond star
Brighter than the crystal caves
Sunlight glancing on the waves
Swirling dance upon my heart
Longing while we're held apart
You're, you're, you're, you're
A diamond, a diamond, a diamond star
Take it slow, a daring chance
Swaying in a timeless dance
Shimmering radiance above
Softening this lost man's love
You're, you're, you're, you're
A diamond, a diamond, a diamond star
'
In Paradisum
gregorian chant
In Paradisum deducant
te Angeli;
in tuo adventu sucipiant te Martyres,
et perducant te in civitatem Jerusalem
No Answers
No answers live in here alone
No answers on this spectral throne
Nothing in this vault of fears
This sterling vault, chamber of tears
Tell me now before I fall
Release me from this velvet pall
Tell me now before I fall
Take me now, break through my wall
No answers will salvage time
No answers in this tomb sublime
This winnowing crypt intertwined
This crypt whispering in vines
Tell me now before I fall
Release from this velvet pall
Tell me now before I fall
Take me now, break through my wall
No answers could bring me life
Yet when I opened my eyes
Beyond the sleeping crystal dome
Beyond it all, I had come home
Tell me now before I fall
Release from this velvet pall
Tell me now before I fall
Take me now, break through my wall
Oh, oh I'm falling down
Oh, now
Emeralds
Lyrics by Catherine Asaro
Green as the bitter nail
They drove into my name
I won't try to fail
Just to satisfy their game
Don't listen to their lies
I'll never turn my back on you
Never wait 'til someone dies
To promise my heart is true
Emerald drops, emerald tears
It's you they see
In their green-shaded mirrors
Emerald drops, emerald tears
The darkness feeds
On their green-bladed fears
Night veils the secret hollow
In the silvered lagoon
Body rising from the water
Under silent moons
They waited in whispering reeds
Green within, predators without
But my brother intervened
He answered my crying shout
Emerald drops, emerald tears
It's you that they see
In their green-shaded mirrors
Emerald drops, emerald tears
The darkness feeds
On their green-bladed fears
I didn't desert you
Despite what they crowed
You still believed I was true
They learned what our love knows
Emerald drops, emerald tears
It's you that they see
In their green-shaded mirrors
Emerald drops, emerald tears
The darkness feeds
On their green-bladed fears
Emerald drops, emerald tears
It's you that they see
In their green-shaded mirrors
Emerald drops, emerald tears
The darkness feeds
On their green-bladed fears
Sapphire Clouds
Lyrics by Catherine Asaro
Running through the sphere-tipped reeds
Suns like gold and amber beads
Jumping over blue-winged bees
Don't catch me, please
Cause I'm
Running, running, running
Running, running, running
Running, running, running away
Flight of bubbles everywhere
Pollen dusting in my hair
No more troubles anywhere
Sapphire clouds above the air
And I'm running, running, running
Running, running, running
Running, running, running away
Memories fade in life's strain
Winds of age bring falling rain
Cornucopia of lives
Of years and joys and grieving sighs
Recall sapphire clouds on high
Drifting in an endless sky
Childhood caught and kept deep inside
To treasure after days gone by
And I'm running, running, running
Running, running, running
Running, running, running away
Rubies
Lyrics by Catherine Asaro
Born to live in a Vanished Sea
Lost to seeds of a banished need
Caged in desperate hope for all days
Rubies must give their souls in all ways
Living bound by your empathy
Shelter found in your trinity
Love imprisoning hope for your days
Rubies must give their souls in all ways
Hiding deepest vulnerabilities
Cursed by your mind's abilities
For within you lies the hope for all days
Rubies must give their souls in all ways
Carnelians
Lyrics by Catherine Asaro
You dehumanized us; your critics, they died
You answered defiance with massive genocide
Hunt us as your prey, assault, and enslave
Force us bound to stay, for pleasures that you crave
I'm no golden hero in the blazing skies
I'm no fair-haired genius hiding in disguise
I'm only a singer; it's all that I can do
But my voice is rising; I can sing the truth
They strangled our summers, your Carnelian Sons
You anguished the mothers in your war of suns
With a heart that freezes, you shattered my kin
You thought you were leaving no one who could win
I'm no golden hero in the blazing skies
I'm no fair-haired genius hiding in disguise
I'm only a singer; it's all that I can do
But I'm still alive; I'm coming after you
I'll never kneel beneath your Highton stare
I'm here, I'm real; I'll lay your guilt bare
I'll never kneel beneath your Highton stare
I'm here, I'm real; I'm your nightmare
Carnelians Finale
Lyrics by Catherine Asaro
You dehumanized us
Your critics, they all died
You answered defiance
With massive genocide
You hunt us as your prey
You assault and enslave
You force us bound to stay
For pleasures that you crave
You Carnelian Sons
You tortured my mother
In your war of suns
You shattered my father
You broke my brothers
You murdered my sister
Expecting no others
Well, I'm no golden hero
In the blazing skies
I'm no fair-haired genius
Hiding in disguise
I'm only a singer
It's all I can do
But I'm still alive
And I'm coming after you
I'll never kneel
Beneath your Highton stare
I'm here and I'm real
I'll lay your guilt bare
I'll never kneel
Beneath your Highton stare
I'm here and I'm real
Your living nightmare
Starlight Child
Lyrics by Catherine Asaro
(To my daughter, Cathy)
When the forever snows
Tightened their embrace
While my dreaming thoughts froze
You rose with newborn grace
Nothing ever will compare
Nothing ever will come close
Your eyes, your skin, your shining hair
Starlight child, my heart knows
You're starlight, starlight child
You're starlight, my lovely child
When your laugh stills
the world
Miracles arise
Unexpected, a hidden pearl
Heals my stricken eyes
Nothing ever will compare
Nothing ever will come close
Your eyes, your skin, your shining hair
Starlight child, my heart knows
You're starlight, starlight child
You're starlight, my treasured child
The ices of sleeping death
Melt within your candle's light
Your trust, your smile, your lilting breath
Starlight child, my heart flies
You're starlight, starlight child
You're starlight, my starlight child
You're starlight, miraculous child
Streaming starlight, my starlight child
Boxcar Madness
Lyrics by Hayim Ani
This is the first day on your dimming stage
This is the last smile you'll ever see
Look at all the widespread hate
Comes from the anger that fuels our race
Would you love me if I was somebody else?
Would you hate me if I choose to be myself?
Turn away as struggles take me better learn to pray
Gone insane from crossing out this bitter memory
Leaving a loved one ignoring the pain
Holding your hand out despite all shame
Lying on cold stone rather than on dreams soft
Jumping high fences not to get caught
Scream to the whole world but nobody's there
Even if they were I doubt they'd care
Turn away as struggles come I hear you scream my name