I watched as Daniel exchanged a glance with Sheridan,
his eyebrows raised. He seemed surprised by the fact that
I was unpacking already.
‘If it’s too soon…’ I glanced at Daniel, willing my
heart to slow down. ‘I can go back to the hotel tonight,
leave you to talk things over. I don’t want to be in the
way.’
‘Honey, you’re not in the way. We want you here,’
Sheridan said. ‘It’s Daniel’s fault for not answering his
phone when I called to let him know.’
‘Sorry,’ he replied. I wasn’t sure who he was talking
to as he looked at us both. ‘I didn’t mean to make you
uncomfortable. You’re hardly getting in the way down-
stairs, now, are you? Can I get you anything? A coffee?’
‘Caffeine is bad for the baby.’ Sheridan’s reply was
instant. ‘Anna will get you some kale juice.’
As Sheridan reached for her laptop, Daniel gave me
a conspiratorial grin. ‘Got you on the kale juice already?
I’m surprised you’re not running for the hills.’
‘Nonsense. You like it, don’t you,’ Sheridan said. It
was not a question.
‘I’ll get used to it,’ I said, barely able to hide my dis-
dain for the stuff.
‘Good,’ Sheridan replied, pointing to her laptop screen.
‘Because I’ve got the contract from the Miracle-Moms site.’
‘Exciting,’ I said, well aware that this was the final
step. I was already familiar with the agreement, as it was
drawn up by the website’s attorneys. At least this time
I’d been able to read it thoroughly before I signed. It was drawn up and verified by independent attorneys and, unlike the confidentiality agreement, I understood what it
meant. I would have no claim over the baby once it was
born. It felt strange that such a binding document could
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be signed digitally, and I tried not to hesitate as Sheridan handed me her iPad and digital pen. With Anna acting
as our witness, I wondered if it was even legal. Surely
they needed someone independent to verify things? But
then these were unusual circumstances, and I had little
time to dwell on it; Sheridan monitored my every move.
Taking a deep breath, I signed away the rights to my
unborn child. It was a sombre moment, broken by the
shrill sound of Sheridan’s voice.
‘Excellent!’
She whisked the iPad away from me before calling
a dark-haired young woman into the room. She was of
slight build, with long sleek hair tied up in a ponytail.
She couldn’t have been much older than me.
‘This is Juanita,’ Sheridan said, and I watched the
woman flinch as Sheridan laid her palm on the flat of her
back. ‘She’s your personal maid. She’ll be looking after
you for the next few months.’
Sheridan uttered a few words in Spanish and, bowing
her head, Juanita forced a smile.
I felt like a lemon, wondering if I should shake her
hand. ‘Um … nice to meet you.’
‘She doesn’t speak English.’ Sheridan paused to dismiss
her. ‘She’ll be cleaning your room, doing your washing,
bringing you your meals. You won’t need to lift a finger
while you’re here.’
I watched over Sheridan’s shoulder as Juanita walked
away. But as she opened the door to leave, she gave me
an imploring look, her lips thinned as she delivered a
sharp shake of the head. Her eyes were dark and full of
knowing. As Sheridan turned to follow my gaze, Juanita
quickly slid through the door.
‘Everything OK?’
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‘Yes … it’s just that…’ I paused as I tried to come up
with a response. ‘I feel a bit funny about having staff. I’m happy to clean up after myself.’
A flutter of laughter left Sheridan’s lips. ‘Honey, they’re not slaves. They’re very well paid. Here.’ Sheridan produced a schedule and waved it under my nose. ‘Read it
in your spare time.’
My face fell as I flicked through the paperwork. The
next few months were planned with regimental preci-
sion from early in the morning until late at night. I was
to be awoken at seven in the morning, six days a week.
My meals were planned without my input, nutrition-
ally sound, to meet the baby’s needs. I skim-read the
programme, realising that I was supposed to spend most
of my time in my room. A room that was beautiful, but
windowless and closed off from the world. I was a free
spirit, a creative soul; I would go stir-crazy if I had to
spend the next six months inside.
‘I was wondering…’ I said, not wanting to sound ungrate-
ful. ‘Can I do some sightseeing? I don’t mind going on my
own.’ Six months seemed like such a long time to be hidden
away. I wondered if I could get some time off to return to
Ireland in between. ‘And um … how long am I here for?
I mean, you mentioned me being here for my pregnancy.
Now we’ve met, can I come back when I start to show?’
‘I thought I’d made it clear.’ Sheridan’s smile thinned.
‘You don’t leave until the baby is born.’ By the sound of
her voice, it was not up for negotiation.
‘Of course,’ I said. ‘As long as you’re sure.’
‘I’ll arrange some sightseeing. George can go with
you. Show you Times Square.’
‘I’ve seen it.’ I smiled at the memory. ‘I walked down
there when I was waiting for him.’
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Sheridan stiffened. ‘You went out on your own to
Times Square?’
‘I … I didn’t think it would do any harm,’ I said,
looking from her to Daniel, who was closely watching
his wife. The atmosphere changed as I was met with
hostile silence. All the earlier positivity was sucked out
of the room.
Daniel touched her arm. ‘It was the middle of the day.
There’s nothing to worry about.’
But Sheridan seemed oblivious to his words. She took
a step towards me, her features strained. ‘Anything could
have happened. What were you thinking?’
I couldn’t believe my ears. I had barely signed the
contracts and she was telling me off.
‘I only went for a walk,’ I said in a quiet voice. ‘I
wasn’t gone long.’
‘Against my strict instructions,’ Sheridan prodded
the air with her finger. ‘Who paid for you to fly over
here? Did you think you were on some sort of holiday?
Anything could have happened to you.’
Stepping between us, Daniel squeezed his wife’s arm.
‘But she’s OK, isn’t she? She wasn’t to know.’ He turned
to face me, taking me by the elbow as he steered me
away. ‘Why don’t I see you to your room? You must be
worn out.’
‘I’m sorry if I did anything wrong,’ I said, my words
trailing behind me. ‘I didn’t know…’
‘It’s OK, don’t worry,’ Daniel said, ushering me into
the lift. ‘I
’ll have Anna bring you some food. Why don’t
you take some time out and relax?’
But relaxing was the last thing I’d be doing. I had
seen another side to Sheridan, and I didn’t like it one bit.
135
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Roz
‘I have a surprise for you,’ Sheridan said, jingling a bunch of keys in her hand.
I was watching TV in my basement flat, grateful for
this connection with the outside world. I had not heard
the lift until she stepped out of it, her heels clicking on the varnished wooden floor.
‘But you’ve already done so much for me,’ I said,
turning from the sofa as she approached.
I did not like surprises. I was in the grip of culture
shock, having come from Dublin to New York, and
so far I was wholly out of my depth. After consum-
ing Sheridan’s schedule, I realised that my time in her
household would be a solitary one. Then there was
her earlier disapproval of me sightseeing on my own. I
needed to hear a friendly voice, which was why I had
risked making a call on Dympna’s phone. But it was
almost impossible to get a signal, and whenever I did,
it never lasted long enough for the phone to ring more
than once.
‘Come along,’ Sheridan said. ‘Aren’t you curious to
find out what’s behind this locked door?’
That was an understatement. Switching off the tele-
vision, I followed her.
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The Perfect Mother
Sheridan was beaming now, as if her earlier chastise-
ment had not happened at all. ‘Isn’t it exciting?’
‘Yeah,’ I said flatly, watching as she unlocked the door.
Behind it was a narrow corridor with strip lighting
overhead. I glanced at a door at the far end.
‘That’s private,’ Sheridan said, in the same tone of
voice she’d used earlier when I’d turned left on the stairs. I followed as she plucked a key from the bunch and opened
another door. It creaked as she led me into a sterile space.
The hairs prickled on the back of my neck at the
sight of what looked like a doctor’s examination room.
But there was no new paint smell, just the stringent tang
of cleaning fluid on the surfaces. I cast a glance over the paint peeling from the walls and the ceiling yellowing
with age. I took in the tiled floor, the medical equipment.
The room was clean, but definitely not new.
I wondered who used the desk in the corner, com-
plete with leather swivel chair. This was no study. On
the wall was a medicine cabinet with a key in the lock.
A computer and some folders took up space alongside a
filing cabinet. What was in there?
‘I don’t understand,’ I said, unanswered questions
springing into my mind.
Sheridan walked towards an examination table, pat-
ting the blue tissue running down its length.
‘Haven’t you worked it out? It’s time for your three-
month scan. Come on, hop up.’
Her smile was off-kilter. The kind of smile that told
me to hurry up before it cracked. I clasped my hands
tightly together. I wasn’t prepared for this.
‘But … who’s going to do the scan?’
My question was answered as a short, bald man shuffled
in from the corridor. Where had he come from? Was
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Caroline Mitchell
there another entrance to this room? He grabbed a lab
coat from the back of the door and slid his arms inside.
He must have been in his mid-seventies, and he barely
acknowledged me. So much for New York’s best OBGYN.
His full attention was on Sheridan, and I caught the look
of undisguised admiration on his face. It was not just
Daniel who had members of the opposite sex falling at
his feet. Sheridan had many male and female admirers,
and it appeared that the doctor was one of them.
‘This is Doctor Blumberg,’ Sheridan said, not waiting
for him to acknowledge me. ‘C’mon now, hurry up,’ she
ordered for the second time, patting the examining table
with a perfectly manicured hand.
I stiffened. They may have been using me as an incuba-
tor, but I still got embarrassed at the thought of stripping off in front of strangers.
‘Don’t be shy,’ Sheridan said. ‘You only need to roll
your top up over your stomach.’
I did as instructed. Doctor Blumberg leaned over me,
his breath smelling of garlic and mints. Glancing over the
doctor’s shoulder, I squirmed as I noticed Daniel walk in.
His hands deep in his trouser pockets, he acknowledged
me with a smile and a gentle nod of the head.
I sucked a breath between my teeth as freezing cold
gel was applied to my stomach.
‘You must be dying to see the baby. I know I am.’
Sheridan flashed me a smile.
I couldn’t believe that she was talking to me. Seeing
the baby would be so hard, given I was about to give it
up. She was a mother; she had given birth. Why didn’t
she understand that?
As if reading my thoughts, Daniel spoke. ‘Roz is
bound to be apprehensive in the circumstances.’ He looked
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The Perfect Mother
pointedly at Sheridan. ‘But it will be good to know the
baby is healthy and well.’
impassive, but my thoughts were whipped away as a thump thump thump echoed in the room. It was fast; much faster than mine.
‘It’s your baby’s heartbeat,’ the doctor said – not to
me, but to Sheridan as he turned up the volume on the
machine. ‘Nice and strong.’ He had yet to look at me,
which I found odd. Daniel stepped forward, staring ex-
pectantly at the screen.
My heart skipped a beat as I followed his gaze. What
if something was wrong with my baby? What would
happen to us both then? I had not even considered this
until now. From the corner of my eye I saw Sheridan take
Daniel’s hand. I felt a pang of longing. This was meant
to be a momentous occasion, but I was in a room full
of strangers. Just me and my little bean. Daniel hovered
over me, his closeness making the blood race a little faster through my veins.
‘What’s that?’ Sheridan pointed to the screen. The
doctor slid the probe back and forth on my stomach
until it picked up a grainy grey image on the screen.
A few clicks later and he was describing the chambers
of the heart, showing fingers and toes. Hello, little one, I thought, the image blurring as I blinked back the tears.
My breath was shallow as I took it all in. I could not let
them see how emotional I was over this baby. The doc-
tor explained each body part, making measurements and
giving comforting nods of the head.
‘Baby is perfectly healthy, as far as I can tell.’
I exhaled a sigh of relief.
‘And it’s a little girl?’ Sheridan said.
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Caroline Mitchell
‘It seems that way.’
‘Wait, what?’ I said, returning my gaze to the screen
.
‘The eight-week blood tests said you were carrying
a little girl, but it’s nice to have it confirmed,’ Sheridan said. She was glowing now, her eyes dewy as she stared
at the screen.
A mixture of hot anger and amazement welled up
inside me. A girl. I had been right all along. Sheridan had known the sex of my baby for weeks. I closed my eyes,
tried to get a handle on my emotions. I knew I was being
irrational, but it suddenly felt wrong that she had found
out before me. I felt like getting off the examination table and telling her the show was over. But why? I’d known
what I was getting into, after all. I lay back, staring at the ceiling, as Dr Blumberg finished the scan. I was carrying
a little girl … and in a few short months’ time I would be
going home to Ireland and leaving her behind.
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CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Sheridan
‘Where do you draw the line?’ Daniel asked, sitting at
the head of the marble dinner table.
A magnificent spread was laid before them as they
entertained their friends. Adam Weiss had co-starred with
him in his latest movie and they were both rumoured to
have been shortlisted for an Academy Award. That had
led to a celebratory dinner. It was not often they were able to get together like this. ‘It pays to keep the competition close,’ Daniel had once said, which led Sheridan to believe they were not as friendly as they seemed.
Adam was three years younger than Daniel, blessed
with natural talent as well as effortless good looks. His
mother was African-American, his New Yorker father
a Democrat working in the White House. Monica was
different to his previous girlfriends, although her Boston
accent was more JFK than Wahlberg.
Sheridan focused on her guests, pushing all concerns
about Roz to the back of her mind; while preparing for
dinner, she had surfed online, due to a niggling seed of
doubt. The internet search had thrown up something that
surprised her, but she would wait until the morning to
confront the young woman in her care.
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Caroline Mitchell
The dinner conversation was animated as Daniel dis-
cussed the price of fame.
‘Even the places that were too cool to recognise ce-
lebrities are off the cards now. You know, the type of
places where they’d go out of their way not to recognise you.’ Daniel lay his dessert spoon on his plate. ‘I almost
punched someone after he shoved his camera right at
Leo the other day. It was Melrose. You know the guy? A