Monkey flowers:
One who performs
behind a mask
Phlox; Sweet dreams
Pecan: Hard to crack
Peony: Healing
Rose, dark pink: Thank you
Spider Flower: Elope with me
Tuberose: Dangerous pleasures
Wisteria: I cling to thee
Witch Hazel: A spell
Zinnia, pink: Lasting affection
Secret names for flowers arose long ago from a need to conceal the identity of certain herbs.
Lupine: Blood from a head
Tuberose: Mistress of the Night
Clover: Semen of Ares
Burdock: Love Leaves
Great Mullein: Peter’s Staff
Vervain Sage: Christ’s Eye
Wild Geranium: Shameface
Southernwood: Maiden’s Ruin
Yarrow: Devil’s Plaything
Goosegrass: Sweethearts
Meadowsweet: Queen of the Meadow
Blackberry: Scaldhead
A Sure Fire Method for Identifying Blessings and Peculiarities
Through the Reading of Ears
Large with loose lobes: Ambitious, gossipy, given to tell lies. Little ears with loose lobes, however, should be treated with even greater suspicion. Trust not a man whose lobes are disproportionate to his God-given ear size.
Spotted or hairy when combined with a bald head: Gift for cobbling. Ought to make shoes or bricks.
Femine ears on a man: Gentle but foxy. A nice-dresser. Likes to dance.
Small “c”-shaped: Expect complete candor. May prove disagreeable in bed. Likely to be bad with money.
Pointy and wolfish: Of vital temperament. God-fearing but selfish. Will fix your plumbing when pressed.
Small hemmed ears: Generous in nature. Deeply kind. Given to insanity.
Curvy or vivacious: Untrustworthy. Mean-spirited. Covets jewels.
Young ears on an old person: A good listener. Enjoys cake. Easily pleased. Soon to die.
Flat: Knows their Bible. Slow to smile. Smells like fruit.
Purplish around the edges: Subject to bouts of indecision and lower back fat.
Square as a box: Noble, maternal, blows a lot of smoke but knows how to keep an open mind. Watch out if you forget to put your toys away.
Resembling of a mushroom: Earthy. Savvy with herbs.
Carole Lanham has published twenty-four short stories and is the author of The Whisper Jar. She lives in the St. Louis area with her family and a large collection of aprons. Please drop in and say hello at carolelanham.com or horrorhomemaker.com.
Table of Contents
Hadley
The First Nail
The Pendulum
Semen of Ares
Those Good Peas
The Window Seat
A Perfectly Pungent and Perilous Plot
Darratu
Lily of the Valley
The Meaning of Flowers
Bonus Material
V.I.L.E. Reading Selections
The Language of Flowers
Secret Names
Earflapology