BOXED SET
The Heart of the Staff
the Complete Series
by
Carol Marrs Phipps
and
Tom Phipps
Copyright © 2015 by Carol Marrs Phipps & Tom Phipps
All rights reserved. No part of this document or the related files may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means (including electronic and photocopying) without prior written permission of the publisher.
The Heart of the Staff: The Complete Series. Characters, names, places,incidents and organizations are a product of the authors' imaginations and are used fictitiously.
Cover art by Marija Vilotijevic, Expert Subjects
Our Websites:
http://www.niarg.com
http://www.landofniarg.com
To our very dear friends and readers
A few of the characters in the Heart of the Staff Series speak Archaic Modern Niarg. This language uses very few words not found in present day English. By all means read it in any manner which allows you to enjoy the book. Its spellings are at least as easy to make sense of as those in the notes passed by grammar school children. However, if you wish to have it sound as we intended when you read it aloud, please heed the following simple rules. Do not hesitate to refer to the glossary.
Archaic Modern Niarg should be pronounced thus:
There was no vowel shift between Archaic Modern Niarg and Niarg Standard, so vowels sound much the same as modern Appalachian English.
However:
Each letter of a diphthong tends to be pronounced separately, for example:
maister would be pronounced, may-ist-er.
Es at the end of words are not silent, but are pronounced.
Certain consonants which have become silent in Niarg Standard are sounded, for example:
the k in knight
the gh in knight. The gh is hard, much like a kh.
the gh in thought, just as in knight.
Contents
GOOD SISTER, BAD SISTER
Book 1
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
THE COLLECTOR WITCH
Book 2
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
STONE HEART
Book 3
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
Chapter 70
Chapter 71
Chapter 72
Chapter 73
Chapter 74
Chapter 75
Chapter 76
Chapter 77
Chapter 78
Chapter 79
Chapter 80
Chapter 81
Chapter 82
Chapter 83
Chapter 84
Chapter 85
Chapter 86
Chapter 87
Chapter 88
Chapter 89
Chapter 90
Chapter 91
Chapter 92
Chapter 93
Chapter 94
Chapter 95
Chapter 96
Chapter 97
Chapter 98
Chapter 99
Chapter 100
Chapter 101
THE BURGEONING
Book 4
Chapter 102
Chapter 103
Chapter 104
Chapter 105
Chapter 106
Chapter 107
Chapter 108
Chapter 109
Chapter 110
Chapter 111
Chapter 112
Chapter 113
Chapter 114
Chapter 115
Chapter 116
Chapter 117
Chapter 118
Chapter 119
Chapter 120
Chapter 121
Chapter 122
Chapter 123
Chapter 124
Chapter 125
Chapter 126
Chapter 127
Chapter 128
Chapter 129
Chapter 130
Chapter 131
Chapter 132
Chapter 133
Chapter 134
Chapter 135
Chapter 136
Chapter 137
Chapter 138
Chapter 139
Chapter 140
Chapter 141
Chapter 142
Chapter 143
Chapter 144
Chapter 145
THE REAPER WITCH
Book 5
Chapter 146
Chapter 147
Chapter 148
Chapter 149
Chapter 150
Chapter 151
Chapter 152
Chapter 153
Chapter 154
Chapter 155
Chapter 156
Chapter 157
Chapter 158
Chapter 159
Chapter 160
Chapter 161
Chapter 162
Chapter 163
Chapter 164
Chapter 165
Chapter 166
Chapter 167
Chapter 168
Chapter 169
Chapter 170
Chapter 171
Chapter 172
Chapter 173
Chapter 174
Chapter 175
Chapter 176
DOOM
Book 6
Chapter 177
Chapter 178
Chapter 179
Chapter 180
Chapter 181
Chapter 182
Chapter 183
Chapter 184
Chapter 185
Chapter 186
Chapter 187
Chapter 188
Chapter 189
Chapter 190
Chapter 191
Chapter 192
Chapter 193
Chapter 194
Chapter 195
Chapter 196
Chapter 197
Chapter 198
Chapter 199
Chapter 200
Chapter 201
Chapter 202
Chapter 203
Chapter 204
Chapter 205
Chapter 206
Chapter 207
Chapter 208
Chapter 209
GOOD SISTER, BAD SISTER
Book 1
Chapter 1
“Happy birthday!” cried Wizard Razzmorten with a grand whirl of his cape, leaving a round wooden box with a gawking baby parrot sitting on the board by the cake.
“What is that thing, Father?”
“Why a popinjay, dear. They're almost impossible to come by...”
“It's all pinfeathers. You surely don't intend for it to actually be my gift, do you?”
“Well it's right young, Leeuh,” he said. “When you start with them at that age, they can actually be talking to you before they're quite a year old.”
“Not if I drown it first...”
“Lee-Lee!” cried her sister. “You don't mean that! What an awful way to treat your Father...”
“Oh go on! He surely knows better. Here I am, still waiting for you to serve me, and he runs up and plops down this dirty box full of muslin, fowl and green poop, right where I was expecting my cake. And by the way, dearest Minuet, just how long are you going to stand there with my saucer in your hand? It is my birthday, don't you know. And since that thing in the box is my birthday gift, I certainly get to drown it.”
“Don't you dare!” said Minuet. “I'll take it if you don't want it...”
“Please!” said Razzmorten, throwing up his hands. “Let's you and I take the morning tomorrow and find you something special in the market, or if you know of something better just...”
Ugleeuh wasn't listening. “You can have the stinking popinjay, Minuet, if you give me my cake before it slides off the saucer.”
“You mean it?”
“Sure sister dear. The cake now, and it's yours, but you'll still owe me.”
“So how would that be, Leeuh?” said Razzmorten as he slowly sat on the bench beside her.
“What?” she said, suddenly peering sweetly at him.
“The market, dear. What do you say?”A lost look passed across her face as she hooked her raven black hair behind an ear.
“We spend the morning tomorrow and find you something.”
She tapped at a tooth with her finger. “Maybe,” she said, “so long as it's not something else stupid.”
“Now,” he said with a nod of resolution, “shall we finally have this wonderful cake that Minuet baked for your birthday supper?”
At that moment there came a knock at the open dining room door. “I regret the intrusion, sir,” said the hired man, “but there's a Captain Strong here from Castle Niarg with something urgent. Shall I...?”
“By all means,” said Razzmorten, yanking his napkin from his collar as he got to his feet. By the time he had turned about, the captain was in the room.
“Good evening, Karlton. So what's up at the castle?”
“A matter, sir, that needs to be discussed in private, I'm afraid.”
Alarmed by the captain's haunted look, Razzmorten quickly showed him to a sitting room at the far end of the hall, leaving Minuet and Ugleeuh to eat their cake.
“I was hoping it was Razzorbauch,” said Ugleeuh, licking icing from between her fingers. “At least he's capable of giving decent gifts. But it only turned out to be this rude captain...”
“Rude?” said Minuet. “I'd think something awful has happened by the look of him.”
“He should have at least acknowledged us with a polite nod. We are ladies after all.”
“It was urgent, Lee-Lee.”
Ugleeuh curled her lip and took a bite of cake.
Down the hall, Razzmorten offered a chair to Captain Strong.
The captain shook his head. “I have saddled unicorns waiting for each of us.”
“My word, what's happened?”
“King Henry has sent for you. Princess Branwen...”
“The one who's to be Prince Hebraun's betrothed?”
“Yea. Princess Branwen's retainer came yestereve with some kind of message about all that, but he arrived with a fever. This morning he awoke with two big knots on his neck, just below his jaw...”
“Fates!”
“Yes indeed. And it's all got right personal for me, you might say. I mean my own brother, Awstin, saw him to his room and now he's shaking something awful with the fever.”
“So what am I to do?”
“King Henry wants you to come have a look at both of them.”
Razzmorten went wide eyed. “I'm no physician. Doesn't the Throne have a couple of doctors?”
“Yes sir, and they've each declared that the retainer and Awstin have the plague.”
“So why am I examining them?”
“The king says that if anyone alive would have the magic to turn the plague, it would be you, sir.”
Razzmorten gave a great sigh as he removed his hat to run his fingers through his hair. “I'll go tell my girls,” he said as he replaced his hat and gave a nod. Meet me at the stable.”
They were underway at a canter with scarcely a word between them. Lightning winked in the towering wall of clouds to the west. By the time they reached the road, they were at a pounding gallop which they kept up the entire four miles to Castle Niarg. The rain was drenching the walls of the castle in sheets as they tramped inside the echoing hallway, flinging water. As they came to the room of Princess Branwen's retainer, they were startled at the sight of a figure wearing a leather bird mask and a full length cloak of waxed linen step out the door with a short stick and a smoldering pot of incense. “Ah, Razzmorten,” said the figure in a muffled voice, as he removed his glove to shake hands. “I'm Doctor Pryce...”
“I'm sorry, but we're not going to shake your hand,” said Razzmorten, taking a step backwards. “How is the patient?”
“Just now deceased, I'm afraid,” he said as he took his mask by the beak and removed it. “We were expecting you. I've a clean suit like this one, if you wish to examine him.”
“I don't see the point,” said Razzmorten. “We both know it's the plague. How's Awstin?”
“He's already developing large buboes behind his knees and in his armpits.”
“Where is he?” said the captain.
“Still in his room, one storey down.”
The captain started for the stairs at once.
“Karlton!” hollered Razzmorten. “I'm coming with you.”
“I have that suit...” said Doctor Pryce.
“Just stay right where you are, if you would, Doctor,” said Razzmorten, breaking into a sprint for the stairwell. A dozen steps down, he overtook the captain. “Wait!”
“I'm sorry. I must see him.”
“Stop!” cried Razzmorten, pinning him against the wall. “Listen to me! If you go in there, I'm certain you'll die. He'll be too far gone to even know you're in there...”
The captain tore himself away from Razzmorten's grasp and jogged down a step.
“Damn it Karlton! Niarg needs you!”
The captain stopped short and nodded. “I'm sorry sir,” he said, turning away as he blinked his wet eyes. “What do you think I should do?”
“Do I need to see the king or do you reckon I could leave here this minute? There's somewhere I'm certain I need to be.”
“I can tell him it's urgent...”
“Then by all means do. But listen. Those doctors are dead men. I'm sure of it. Did you go to Awstin's bedside after he took sick?”
“No. I was sent to fetch you.”
“Good! Then we both might live. Listen. Make those doctors stay where they are. Don't let anyone get within three or four rod of them. And don't let anyone touch or move any dead bodies, no matter how they might get to stinking. Got that?”
Karlton nodded, quite wide eyed.
“I'll
be back before a fortnight.” And with that, Razzmorten vanished down the stairs.
***
Minuet dried her hands in a wad of apron and sat down with a sigh in front of the doddering baby parrot. “You're curious, little bright eyes,” she said as she carefully tried a scratch of the pin feathers on his head. “Why, you're not afraid of me at all. And all this excitement, all this hubbub. Why, nasty old Lee-lee wanted to drown you. Will you let me pick you up? Oh, you're going to! You're brave, little Hubbub. That's just what we'll call you...” She looked up with a start to find Razzmorten taking a seat beside her.
“Leeuh's not here?”
“No Father,” she said as she rocked Hubbub in her arms like a wee babe. “I think she's having a bath, but she wanted me to leave the cake out. What happened at Castle Niarg? You look like you've seen a ghost.”
“I nearly have, something dreadful out of the vapors, anyway,” he said, standing up and stepping back over the bench. “I'm sorry, but I simply can not discuss this until I've returned. I can't imagine that you'll be in any danger. You'll be safe...”
“So where are you going?”
“I'm traveling by spell, so you can see that it's urgent, but to say just where would be discussing it,” he said, giving her a squeeze and a peck on the cheek. “I'd allow that I'll be back in time to take Leeuh, tomorrow, but if I'm not, don't worry if I'm gone for as much as two weeks. I'm leaving from my study. Goodbye, and say goodbye to Leeuh for me.” He turned away at once and disappeared 'round the corner.
“Right,” said Ugleeuh, sauntering in in her nightgown. “And the old fool isn't telling you because he doesn't trust his own birthday girl...”
“Leeuh! How can you say such a vile thing about your own father?”
“Easy, sweetheart. He's gone and you won't have the heart to tell him out of consideration for his feelings.”
Minuet gave a growl of exasperation, gently put Hubbub back into his box and began pacing the kitchen. “I can't believe you, Lee-Lee. He was so excited about your birthday, and he went to so much trouble to get that bird...”
“And to think: he still couldn't do any better for my birthday than he did,” she said as she plopped down in Razzmorten's seat at the head of the board and drug her finger through the icing on the cake. “But get this. Stuck up little Princess Branwen is probably dying of the plague as we speak. Isn't that great? So I still might have a chance at Hebraun after all...”
“What are you talking about? You're not royalty. You have no chance in the world...”
“Well not if Princess Branwen makes it...”
“What are you talking about? What makes you think Branwen has the plague?”
“Well her stupid retainer's got it. That's what Yum-Bum Karlton came and got the old man for. He's on his death bed with it at the castle. So wouldn't Brannew have it by now? I mean she could, couldn't she? At least one could hope...”