where he goes, I go. So, yeah, to answer your question, you
can count on us," I told him. "And personally, I hope it's a
long way away."
"You and me both," he chuckled.
Chapter 29
inner went well. Sander brought home chicken,
potatoes, some vegetables and corn cobs, and a few
D liters of ice cream. And he found a gravy sauce that
was simply magnificent.
My mom managed to keep her Bible thumping to a
minimum, and even got along to a point with Torben. Of
course we kept Torben's illness to ourselves, and he went
upstairs fairly soon after ice cream, so in the end it was
Sander, Mom, and me.
She again complimented the house and our taste in
furnishings, and she said that she really liked the room she
was staying in. I learned some more interesting things
about Benny and Maisey, and reveled in their small
successes. She put on like they were burgeoning Bible
Thumpers, but what she didn't know is that Sander and I
have a secret communications method for talking with the
twins as often as we—and they—like. So she wasn't
fooling me.
Things were going rather nicely. In fact, I was
actually enjoying our visit. That was a mistake.
"Well, I'm about ready for bed," Mom said.
"What time do we have to leave to get to the boat,
Johnnie?"
"If we leave by eleven, that'll give us plenty of time,
and we can even stop for some lunch on the way in," I
said. "We're just gonna do a light breakfast; some cereal
and bread and Danish butter. Some sweet rolls."
"That sounds wonderful," she smiled. "Where does
your friend sleep?" she asked.
"You mean Torben? He's got the upstairs. You're in
Sander's little brother's room," I explained.
"Oh. Well, I just saw the two rooms down here so I
wondered. Which one is your room, Sander?"
"We sharing the big room down the way from
you," he said, innocently enough.
"But I only saw one bed in there."
"Yes. That's our bed," Sander explained. I knew
exactly where this was going.
"Mom, I can't believe that you don't know who we
are to each other," I said, really trying hard to take the road
of diplomacy and education, rather than a first strike
nuclear attack. "We're together. He's my life mate, and I'm
his. Don't you get it?"
"You mean... You really are... Oh, this is just too
much. You two are homosexuals together?"
"Yes, and in a about six weeks from now we're
getting married," I told her.
"Married? Men aren't allowed to get married.
That's ridiculous," she said.
"We can get married here. Not only do we have
supermarkets and toilets, gay people can marry here just
like anybody else."
"Don't say that awful word! And enough with the
supermarket shit! I didn't raise no queer, Johnnie Paul
Allen, and I don't want to hear anything more about it!"
she barked.
"Mom! You wanna calm down please? You're in
our home, and you're being very disrespectful! Knock it
off!" I said strongly. "Just go to bed and we'll get you to the
boat tomorrow, okay?"
"Do you think I'm gonna stay the night while you
two do God knows what in that bed?! I'm not having that!"
"Mrs. Cooper, I will sleep on the sofa if you shall
feel better about this," Sander offered, with such kindness
in his voice. "We want you to be happy in our home, you
know?"
"You can be as happy as you like because I'm
calling a cab. There's no way I'm sleeping under a homo
roof!"
"Well you're in for a long walk, I'm afraid...
There's no cabs out here, and all of the hotels and kroes
around here have been booked for weeks because of the
World Cup trials. So here you'll stay!" I told her.
"I'm not staying here! Even if I have to sleep in a
bus station, I'm not having anything to do with this putrid
lifestyle of yours," she said, her mouth trembling in anger.
Sander pulled his phone from his pocket and calmly
dialed. He was straight faced and serene, and for now the
yelling had stopped.
"Hej, Mama? Jeg har brug for at bringe en gæst til at
overnatte..." Sander said into the phone.
"What's he saying? Who's he calling?" she
demanded. Sander ended the call.
"Yes, Mrs. Cooper. I so am sorry for you not
wanting to stay whit us but I have fix it so we go for to
stay whit mine family house tonight. And I driving you to
your ship in the morning, yes?" Sander explained. She
didn't say a thing, just nodded her head.
"Is this fine for you, Johnnie?" he asked me. I
managed a small yes, and then I went to the darkened
kitchen and sat at the table. A few minutes later and she
was standing at the front door, ready to
go. Sander returned.
"Do you want to say good-bye to her?" he asked
me. I just shook my head. He hugged me, gave me a
parting kiss, and patted my shoulder. "I'll be back by
noontime I think. We'll be at Mama's tonight, okay?"
I DON'T KNOW HOW JOHNNIE kept his temper. She
really is a misguided woman. I feel sorry for her.
Having her in my car, sitting next to me, felt as
uncomfortable as that time we were driving that fake
Russian spy on Johnnie's first work trip. He had said some
pretty hateful things to us, and Johnnie even ended up
shooting him in his foot because he had hit me very hard
on my head. And yet somehow this felt even worse.
I think it's because you know a fake Russian spy is
an asshole. That's his job. But this woman sitting beside me
had another job, and she totally failed at it.
"How long have you known my son?" she asked
me.
"Almost two years."
"How'd you meet? Some bath house or in a park
or something?
"Mrs. Cooper, no. You don't understanding
anything about me, or even Johnnie. He is so good and
kind. He love me more than anybody ever do. And I love
him just so! Why can you not be happy for him? He love
you so much, and his sister and brother. This I know.
"He cry for them because he miss them so, but you
say he is bad and I tell you this... He is best person I ever
have know or will know," I told her. I was very soft. I did
not raise my voice. And she said nothing.
We drove for another twenty minutes in complete
silence. I was hurting so much for Johnnie; he didn't
deserve this. Nobody deserves this.
I pulled the car quietly into Mama's drive, and
walked to the door. She could get her own damn bag!
Mama turned the porch light on, and opened the door for
us.
"Welcome! Good to see you, Pokey!" Mama said, as
she planted a big kiss on my cheek. "And you must be
Johnnie's mother. Come inside! Welcome!"
Jannik popped up behind Mama and took Mrs.
Cooper's bag. He tried on his
best English and he did
pretty good!
"Hello, miss, I am called Jannik and you sleep
in my brother's old room please. So you come whit me to
the walk what go to the up...er..."
"Stairs, cowboy."
"Yes! I take your pack up to the stair and later
when you go for sleep you find it there, yes?" Jannik said.
She managed a little smile and nodded her thanks.
"He's delightful," she said to Mama. "What is he,
about ten or so?"
"I'm thirteen years!" Jannik shouted from the
stairwell. She couldn't help but chuckle.
"I have a boy and a girl who just turned ten. I wish
they could stay that way," Mrs. Cooper said.
"Come in and have a seat! Take a seat on the sofa!
Pardon the mess, but Jan's been building a Lego world as
you can see. So watch your step. Those little things hurt
when you step on them. Even if you're wearing shoes!"
Mama laughed.
"Mama, excuse me. I'll sleep with Jannik and then
drive her to the boat first thing in the morning. Let her
know what you plan to do for breakfast. I've had my fill of
her, and I'm going to bed," I told Mama—obviously in
Danish.
"Goodnight, Pokey. Sleep well."
"Goodnight. Goodnight, Mrs. Cooper." And I left
the room quick as I could.
When I went to the bedroom, I knew that Jannik
felt that something was off. He didn't hide behind a door
and try to scare me, or wear underpants on his head to
make me laugh. Instead he was sitting on the trundle bed,
the eiderdown already pulled down on his own bed.
"I sleep down here, so you sleep in my bed, okay
Pokey?" he said.
"I can sleep on the trundle. You don't have to give
up your bed, Spiderman," I smiled.
"But I want to because your fat ass will break the
trundle and then where will we be?" he teased. "Besides, if
you wet the bed I might get a new one that looks like a
race car!"
"You're too old for a race car bed!" I laughed,
setting my phone alarm and rubbing his belly with my
stocking foot.
"That tickles!" he laughed. "Do it again!"
I teased him with my pillow, knocking him around
a little bit, and he jumped up and hugged me around my
neck. Then he whispered in my ear. It's something he's
always done whenever he's unsure or scared about
something."
"Pokey, why is that lady sleeping here tonight?"
"Because she didn't want to sleep over at our
house," I told him.
"But why?"
"Because she had a disagreement with Johnnie.
And so she didn't want to stay there with us anymore."
"What did they disagree about?" he asked. I
wasn't going to patronize him by telling him some stupid
lie. So I told him.
"She believes that it's bad if two boys love each
other. In her religion, she thinks that God hates Johnnie
and me because we love each other like Mama and Pop
love each other," I explained.
"Is she mad that you and Johnnie make kisses to
each other?"
"That's part of it, yeah. And she just doesn't know
that what she believes is wrong. And we couldn't put her
on the street, and the hotels are all filled up, so I brought
her here," I explained.
"How can she be angry about love?"
"Exactly! How can she be angry about love?"
"I love you. And I love Johnnie, too. She should
love you both I think," he reasoned. "Maybe Mama can fix
her brain."
"Maybe," I said, turning off the Spiderman table
lamp. "But she wasn't able to fix your brain, so I
don't know..."
"Shut up, Pokey Baloney!" he laughed. "You know
what I mean!"
"I know. Goodnight, kid."
"Goodnight, big kid."
Chapter 30
ama was her usual happy self, putting out the
breakfast and making sure the coffee was brewing.
M Pop left real early for his harbor job in Nyborg. He
had to look at a ship and give it a special permission
release allowing it to enter the Odense canal so it could
dock there. He planned to ride the ship from there over to
Odense, so he'd be gone a couple of days.
Jannik had already gotten himself up and was
jamming wienerbrød into his face. It's one of the best
pastries ever made, so I don't blame him.
"Morning, son!" Mama said, hopping around the
kitchen making everything great. "Better get some before
the vacuum cleaner here sucks it all up," she smiled,
kissing Jannik on the top of his head. It didn't faze him. He
never stopped.
"I saved some for you, brother. Don't worry,"
Jannik said to me.
"Where is it, then?"
"Right here," he said, pointing to his belly. "I save it
all nice and warm for you. You can have it tomorrow."
"Gross! Where'd you hide it?" I demanded.
"Right here!" he said, pulling two cereal boxes
away like a prize door on a game show. He handed me the
little plate and I bit into the sugary badness. I deserved to
after having to spend time alone with that impossible
woman.
How could someone as good as Johnnie come out
of that Bible Bag? She makes me sick. And now I had to
drive with her for an hour and a half, smelling her horrid
perfume that reminds me of a funeral home.
long until we leave?" she asked me. I told her we'd go
when I finished my breakfast.
"Have some yourself, Ruth. The bakery up the
street is really very good, and the sweet breads are very
tasty. There's cereal, and coffee. Help yourself," Mama
said.
"I'd like a glass of water if I could, please."
"Sure," Mama said. "I'll get it."
Jannik stopped what he was doing and looked at
Johnnie's mother. His gears were spinning, I could tell, and
normally I would shoot him a Don't you dare! look to keep
the peace. Not this morning. Mama placed the glass of
water on the table and said she'd be back after she changed
out of her morning robe. Yep, Jannik's little wheels were
smoking by now. He couldn't hold it in any longer.
"Ma'am, I have to know something. Can you
answer me about it?" Jannik began. Uh oh. Well, I think I'll
just lean back and see what happens.
"Of course, young man."
"Is it true that he goes to the hell?" Jannik said,
pointing at me.
"If he doesn't accept Christ as his savior, and
continues sleeping with my son, then yes, that's what the
Bible tells us," Mrs. Cooper reported without emotion.
"I see. Is hell a really bad place? What happening
there for if you go?" Jannik asked.
"Well, you're separated from anyone that you ever
loved, and you're tortured night and day by Satan and his
demons. It's a horrible, horrible place. No one wants to go
there, believe me," she said.
"I should think not. So the way you g
et from hell is
to say to Jesus this, then you are save no matter what
happen?" Jannik asked.
"No matter what. Do you go to church?"
"Oh no. I don't believe to say a pray message to a
God who not is as good as me. Why shall I do this?" Jannik
reasoned.
"What do you mean God isn't as good as you?"
"Okay. I try for to explain," Jannik began. "The
Bible say if Pokey is a gay boy and love Johnnie and don't
say he belief in Jesus, that when he die, he go for the hell,"
Jannik stated.
"But I say I am better than the Jesus God is, because
if Pokey do a mean thing to me... Or if he say he want not
me for his brother. Or if he beat me up. Whatever he do, no
matter how bad, I will not wish him to go for hell for all
time," he said.
"But he has a choice..."
"No he don't; please to listen. If I will say no, I don't
wish him to be hurt in the hell and be on fire and burn in
the hell... If I can be mercy like this, and God can't, then I
am better than God. And if I am better than he, why shall I
think I has to pray to him and all of that?" Jannik said. She
was very uncomfortable.
"Because that's what the Bible tells us," she replied.
"And that's all I need to know."
"But another book say Harry Potter live at
Hogwarts. But it just a story. I think maybe that Bible have
stories too, and they make nothing of sense to me," Jannik
told her. "And another thing, if you say Pokey go to the
hell because he love your boy, and if God is okay with this,
then I really don't want to bow to his feet because he is a
mean man, even if what you say are true."
"I guess you'll learn the hard way then," she
declared.
"Even if you are right, and I go to the hell, too. That
okay with me because I will never, never belief such a
mean man as that. And I think if he so mean for to put
Johnnie and Pokey there, two best people I ever have
know, then he is a asshole."
Jannik stood and cleared the table, walking the
dishes to the sink.
"Well I feel sorry for all of you. Can we leave
soon?" she asked. I nodded as she reached into her purse
and brought out some Danish kroner. "I don't know how
much the gas is over here, but can you take enough to
cover your trip both ways?"
Normally I would never have taken money from
someone who needed me to drive them somewhere. But I
made an exception in this case and pulled about eight