Effortless
A Dog’s Poem
Kiss You
The Squares
Convenience
Magic
Anteater, Blender, Butthole
Two Parties
I Eat Words
On Poets and Farts
Chameleon
Flowers
Hell Waits
Alfred
Suits
Sully
Old Sea Captain
Fitting
You
The Flirt
My Rabbit’s Foot
Onion
I Fuck Sluts
Incomparable
Gangly
Advice
Can I Have a Word?
Fear
Flower Sex
Angel
Your Mom
Toast
The Letter
Rock Bottom
Us
Searching
Baby Turtles
Cup of Joe
Sandy Claws
My Daughter
Entrance
Nine to Five
Boooop
Perched
Her
Subtext
Pumpkin
Martha
Disembodied Heads
Benches
Count of Six
The Commercial
The Nudist
Homonyms
There
Lou
Another Day on the Ant Farm
Fuck
The Light
Cat Lady
Big
Using You
…
Armadilla
My Barber Is Bald
Different
Three Little Words
The Martian
Xia Cobolt
Father Time
Playground
Vampeers
Split Decision
Bee Guys
Hold the Cheese
This Hour
Time Blows
My Stamen
Secret Ingredient
Confession
Feels
The Fall
Touch Me Back
Life
Imagination
TreeHouseTree
Above and Below
One and Another
Senator
Boston Poem
Sharks
Our Father
Sasquatch
Socrates
Light Up
Wind
They
Timmy
Scarf
Wise
Preposition
Judge Jesus
Fireflies
Land of Really Fucked Thoughts
Bombs
The Seaward
Rollersnakes
Silly
Perfect
Mmmmmm
She Waits
All Clear
The Biker Gang
Linda
Donald
Unstick Me
From the Puppy’s Perspective
Conversation
Heart Surgeon
Routine
Hanged
Nothing
Stars
Hello, My Old Friend
:’(
Gay Parading
Jesus
Strange Adjectives
Gone
Gypsy
Bar Joke
I’m Smart Like a Genius
The Grade
The Farmer
I Want to Beat You to Death
Don’t
Public Speaking
Woman
Strange
Sirens
God
Crazy
Mannish
The Epiphany
No to Drugs
Ashley
Clowns
Turn-Ons
Pigs Are Smarter Than Dogs
A Ghost Story
Look
Let’s See What the Robots Think
Plate Spinner
Drink Umbrellas
Ed
Right, Left
Masturbitosis
Beautiful
Relax
Him
Be Patient
A Final Wish
The Party
Change
Rock
A Wonderful Day to Be Dead
Up Above
Roller Coaster
The Pussy
Offence
Wooden Soldiers
Walk with Me
Fixed
Listen
On the Virg
I Don’t Give a Fuck
Youth vs. Man
Fishing
The Future
Whole
I Can’t Stand Trees
Old
Dating
Cyclops
Sea Monkeys
Knots in the Grass
Her Eyes
Hobgoblin
Fuck in the Woods
Like
Progress
Bustle
You There
Forever and an Instant
Third Person
Acknowledgments
Stuck
Newsletters
Copyright
Copyright © 2013 by Bo Burnham
Drawings copyright © 2013 by Chance Bone
The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher is unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at permissions@hbgusa.com. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.
Grand Central Publishing
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First ebook edition: October 2013
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Library of Congress Control Number: 2013941570
ISBN: 978-1-455-51914-9
For more about this book and author, visit Bookish.com.