“Jamie!” I screamed, fighting my way up off the floor.
Jake had already dialed 9-1-1, and his ear was pressed to his cell phone. With his free hand he grabbed my hands and pressed them hard against Jamie’s abdomen, where he’d been stabbed.
“Don’t let go,” Jake said. And, after a brief moment, “I am so sorry I failed you.”
I nodded, dazed. This was bad, so very bad, but if it was anyone’s fault, it was mine.
I looked down at Jamie. He was trying to reach for something in his pocket. He fumbled and then procured it with trembling fingers. It was a ring box. He tried to hand it to me, but I wouldn’t take my hands from his abdomen. I shook my head, unable to speak.
He opened the box. Inside was my mother’s ring, the one I had given back to her, the one my dad had passed down to me.
I looked at Jamie, confused. “How?” I whispered. “Why?”
“Kallie,” he said, his voice breathless.
I shushed him.
“Keep him talking, Kallie,” said Jake. “Keep him awake!”
I saw Jamie’s sleepy eyes. The blood loss. Oh god, he was losing a lot of blood.
“What happened?” I asked Jamie. “Where did you get this?”
“I…I got the ring back for you because…” He trailed off.
“But how?” I asked.
“I went to every pawn shop in the city.”
“Oh, you silly fool. Why?”
“I couldn’t ask your dad for permission,” said Jamie. “But I thought I would get it back for you. Do you think he would have given his blessing?”
He got back my ring because he wanted to marry me with it. Of all the foolish, romantic, Jamie-like things to do.
“Yes,” I said without hesitation. “Yes, Jamie, he would have given you his permission. In a heartbeat he would have.” It was true.
Jamie’s eyes began to close.
“Jamie,” I cried. “Don’t leave me. Baby, please don’t leave. Everyone is always leaving me. Please don’t go.”
“Kallie, when will you learn?”
“What, Jamie? What?”
“At least you had someone to lose…”
He was right. I had him. And Dad. And Jelly and Dolly and LeeLee.
“But I want you, Jamie.”
“I know, baby. Kallie, tell me the truth.”
“Anything.”
“If I had asked you, what would you have said?”
“Yes! Yes, Jamie. I would have said yes a thousand times.”
“I wanted the dream,” he said sleepily. “I wanted it with you. Is it stupid? Is it stupid I wanted…wanted to put that ugly old ring on your finger, wanted to marry you, get the house for you. I wanted you to have my babies.”
He started crying, and I tried to hush him. Every time he sobbed, a fresh gush of bright blood pulsed from his side.
“Jamie, hush. Please. The paramedics are coming. Just hold on, okay?”
“Where is the ambulance?” I hissed at Jake.
“Coming,” he said. “Almost here.”
“I know it’s silly,” Jamie continued. “I’m not a real man. I could never be the father of your children.”
“Stop it. Stop it right now, Jamie Foster. You are a real man. You are my man. And we could have adopted.” I was bawling now. “We still can, Jamie. Please, baby, hold on.”
I could see that I was losing him. He was pale and cold and shivering. He had lost so much blood. There was nothing I could do.
“Where is the goddamned ambulance!” I screamed. “Help! Please!”
“Kallie.” Jamie was saying my name in a funny, thin little voice.
“I’m here.”
“Stay…” he whispered.
“Jamie Foster, if you tell me to ‘stay gold,’ I swear to God…”
Jamie chuckled a weak, wheezing laugh and then coughed. Blood speckled his cheeks.
“Stay…loud,” he said.
He smiled his dazzling Jamie smile, the one that could light me up from inside every single time. And then he was gone.
Chapter Eleven
Mike Michaelson was arrested for murder and was expected to spend the rest of his life in prison.
We had a simple memorial for Jamie. His parents, two people I had barely known and who had seemed like distant shadows in his life, had hugged me hard upon seeing me.
I sang Jamie’s song, the one he had written for me, and Dolly accompanied me on guitar. It was hard to sing without bawling, but I made it through, knowing it was important to honor him and the people who loved him.
We’re sad without Jamie, but he found a way to send us a message in true Jamie fashion.
Shortly after we came home and unpacked all of our gear, we found a weathered valentine stuffed into the lining of Jamie’s bass-drum case. It said:
Kallie,
If you say no, I will still love you. But please say yes.
No matter what, the band has to stay together.
I love you.
Jamie. xx
I took the valentine/echo and placed it in the tea tin with my dad’s echoes. The memories are bittersweet. But at least I had something to lose.
Brooke Carter was born and raised in beautiful British Columbia, where she earned an MFA in Creative Writing (UBC) and currently makes her home with her family. She is the author of a poetry collection, Poco Loco, and her work has appeared in numerous literary journals and national magazines. Another Miserable Love Song is her first novel.
Titles in the Series
Orca soundings
Another Miserable Love Song
Brooke Carter
Back
Norah McClintock
Bang
Norah McClintock
Battle of the Bands
K.L. Denman
Big Guy
Robin Stevenson
Bike Thief
Rita Feutl
Blue Moon
Marilyn Halvorson
B Negative
Vicki Grant
Breaking Point
Lesley Choyce
Breathing Fire
Sarah Yi-Mei Tsiang
Breathless
Pam Withers
Bull Rider
Marilyn Halvorson
Bull’s Eye
Sarah N. Harvey
Cellular
Ellen Schwartz
Charmed
Carrie Mac
Chill
Colin Frizzell
Comeback
Vicki Grant
Coming Clean
Jeff Ross
Crash
Lesley Choyce
Crush
Carrie Mac
Cuts Like a Knife
Darlene Ryan
Damage
Robin Stevenson
A Dark Truth
Jeff Ross
The Darwin Expedition
Diane Tullson
Dead Run
Sean Rodman
Dead-End Job
Vicki Grant
Deadly
Sarah N. Harvey
Death Wind
William Bell
Down
Norah McClintock
Enough
Mary Jennifer Payne
Exit Point
Laura Langston
Exposure
Patricia Murdoch
Fallout
Nikki Tate
Fastback Beach
Shirlee Smith Matheson
Final Crossing
Sean Rodman
First Time
Meg Tilly
Foolproof
Diane Tullson
Grind
Eric Walters
Hannah’s Touch
Laura Langston
The Hemingway Tradition
Kristin Butcher
Hit Squad
James Heneghan
Monique Polak
Homecoming
Diane Dakers
House Party
Eric Walters
I.D.
Vicki Grant
Impact
James C. Dekker
Infiltration
Sean Rodman
In the Woods
Robin Stevenson
Jacked
Carrie Mac
Juice
Eric Walters
Kicked Out
Beth Goobie
Knifepoint
Alex Van Tol
Last Ride
Laura Langston
Learning to Fly
Paul Yee
Lockdown
Diane Tullson
Masked
Norah McClintock
Middle Row
Sylvia Olsen
My Side
Norah McClintock
My Time as Caz Hazard
Tanya Lloyd Kyi
Night Terrors
Sean Rodman
No More Pranks
Monique Polak
No Problem
Dayle Campbell Gaetz
Off the Grid
Lesley Choyce
One More Step
Sheree Fitch
One Way
Norah McClintock
Outback
Robin Stevenson
Overdrive
Eric Walters
Pain & Wastings
Carrie Mac
Picture This
Norah McClintock
Plastic
Sarah N. Harvey
Rat
Lesley Choyce
Reaction
Lesley Choyce
Redline
Alex Van Tol
Refuge Cove
Lesley Choyce
Responsible
Darlene Ryan
Riley Park
Diane Tullson
Riot Act
River Traffic
Martha Brack Martin
Rock Star
Adrian Chamberlain
Running the Risk
Lesley Choyce
Saving Grace
Darlene Ryan
Scam
Lesley Choyce
Scum
James C. Dekker
Sea Change
Diane Tullson
Shallow Grave
Alex Van Tol
Shattered
Sarah N. Harvey
Skylark
Sara Cassidy
Sleight of Hand
Natasha Deen
Snitch
Norah McClintock
Something Girl
Beth Goobie
Spiral
K.L. Denman
Sticks and Stones
Beth Goobie
Stuffed
Eric Walters
Tagged
Eric Walters
Tap Out
Sean Rodman
Tell
Norah McClintock
Thunderbowl
Lesley Choyce
Tough Trails
Irene Morck
Triggered
Vicki Grant
The Trouble with Liberty
Kristin Butcher
Truth
Tanya Lloyd Kyi
Under Threat
Robin Stevenson
Viral
Alex Van Tol
Wave Warrior
Lesley Choyce
The Way Back
Carrie Mac
Who Owns Kelly Paddik?
Beth Goobie
Yellow Line
Sylvia Olsen
Zee’s Way
Kristin Butcher
Orca soundings
For more information on all the books in the Orca Soundings series, please visit
www.orcabook.com.