KANE
Everyone remembers things differently.
MADISON
Like the last time you saw him in Montreal?
CAROLYN
Montreal?
MADISON
You were there on a buying trip or something.
CAROLYN
That trip you took when I was pregnant with her?
MADISON
You ran into him.
CAROLYN
You never told me this.
KANE
It was just a coincidence.
MADISON
He never told you?
KANE
I didn’t want.
CAROLYN
To make me mad?
KANE
Why are we discussing this anyway?
MADISON
Because you’re all fucking liars.
ROYCE
I bet she fucked him.
CAROLYN
Royce.
ROYCE
She fucks everyone.
KANE
Don’t talk about your sister like that.
ROYCE
She gets you guys crazy to cover up whatever she’s got going on. Haven’t you figured it out yet?
MADISON
Someone’s jealous.
ROYCE
Did you fuck him?
KANE
Your sister would never do anything like that.
ROYCE
Right.
MADISON
Freak.
KANE
Would you?
MADISON
What?
KANE
Sleep with David.
MADISON
Of course not. Jeez Dad.
MADISON exits.
KANE
What is your problem?
ROYCE
I got no problems.
KANE
You had no reason to attack Madison like that.
ROYCE
I didn’t attack her.
KANE
And quit being such a fucking smartass.
ROYCE
Make me.
KANE
Stop it!
CAROLYN
Kane.
ROYCE
Nice. Gonna hit me?
Pause.
KANE
Go to bed.
ROYCE exits.
CAROLYN
You slept with him.
KANE
No.
CAROLYN
That’s why you never told me.
KANE
Nothing happened.
CAROLYN
Really?
KANE
Really.
CAROLYN
I’m going to sleep in the den tonight.
KANE
Why?
CAROLYN
I just—feel like sleeping alone.
KANE
What the fuck is going on here?
Lights rise on the restaurant. DAVID’s doing bar inventory. MADISON is setting her cash envelope, etc. on the bar.
MADISON
I’m outa here.
DAVID
No dinner?
MADISON
Some of the waiters are going to.
DAVID
Should we talk about the other night?
MADISON
Why are you like in love with me now or something?
DAVID
Of course not but you’ve been so.
MADISON
You said my father’s name in my ear when you came.
DAVID
What?
MADISON
Father’s name. My ear. You came.
Pause.
DAVID
Maybe I was having a stroke.
MADISON
It wasn’t a fucking stroke.
DAVID
Is that why are you’re so angry at me?
MADISON
No I love it when the person I’m screwing thinks I’m someone else. Like my dad.
DAVID
I’m sorry. I guess you—remind me of him.
MADISON
Almost as good as the real thing?
DAVID
Don’t go there.
MADISON
Why not?
DAVID
Because what happened with us has nothing to do with Kane.
MADISON
Royce knows we did it.
DAVID
What?
MADISON
He can tell. I don’t know how.
DAVID
Did you admit to anything?
MADISON
Of course not.
DAVID
No one can find out.
MADISON
Why didn’t you stop me?
DAVID
You were rubbing your cooch all over me.
MADISON
Dad actually asked me if I slept with you. I couldn’t tell him. He would have been so hurt.
DAVID
Yes.
MADISON
And Mom.
DAVID
Oh yeah.
MADISON
I’m going to have to lie about it for the rest of my life or break their hearts.
DAVID
That’s true love.
MADISON
Fuck you.
MADISON exits. Lights rise on CAROLYN scrubbing the kitchen floor. ROYCE enters. He has a black eye.
ROYCE
Don’t we have a machine that does that?
CAROLYN
The floor’s filthy. Jesus Royce. What happened to your eye?
ROYCE
Nothing.
CAROLYN
Were you in a fight?
CAROLYN gets a washcloth and runs it under cold water.
ROYCE
I’m okay.
CAROLYN
Who did this?
ROYCE
No one.
CAROLYN
Hold this over it. Tell me what happened.
ROYCE
You guys are always telling me to stand up for myself.
CAROLYN
If you’re being bullied we need to report it.
ROYCE
Some guy called me a fag and I hit him okay. He hit me back. Some other guys jumped in. Nothing major.
CAROLYN
Do you want to change schools again?
ROYCE
No.
Pause.
CAROLYN
I have some good painkillers in my bathroom.
ROYCE
Mom?
CAROLYN
Yeah?
ROYCE
Why did you marry Dad if you knew he was gay?
CAROLYN
He isn’t gay.
ROYCE
What is he then?
CAROLYN
Your dad.
ROYCE
You still love him though right? Nothing’s changed.
Pause.
CAROLYN
I’ll get those painkillers.
CAROLYN exits. Lights rise on the outside of the house. MADISON is smoking a joint. KANE enters. She moves to put it out.
MADISON
Shi
t Dad quit sneaking around.
KANE
Don’t.
MADISON
Really?
KANE
I need a toke.
MADISON
Everyone else asleep?
KANE
I think so.
MADISON
You see Royce’s eye?
KANE
I don’t know whether to be worried or proud.
MADISON
Two hoots then you pass.
KANE
Sorry.
MADISON
Why did you leave David?
KANE
It was too hard.
MADISON
Being gay?
KANE
My family disowned me. My straight friends acted like I’d betrayed them. No one called. It was okay for a while. Good even. But—a party every night with the world’s most interesting man can get very tiring.
MADISON
You must miss him sometimes.
KANE
He made me feel special.
MADISON
Yeah.
KANE
It’s easy to get seduced.
MADISON
Yeah.
KANE
To do things you might not normally do.
MADISON
Yeah.
KANE
He was the best friend I’d ever had. If I hadn’t met him. Who knows what I’d be now? Not a decorator. Probably not a father.
MADISON
Really?
KANE
The time I spent with David made me realize how important kids were to me.
MADISON
So we’re here because of him?
KANE
That’s not what I’m saying.
Pause.
MADISON
Do you still love him?
Long pause.
You’re supposed to say no now.
KANE
It’s a—different kind of love. I don’t know if it ever goes away. For sure you never forget it.
MADISON
Real?
KANE
Who knows?
MADISON
Why Mom?
KANE
She was so down to earth and—uncomplicated.
MADISON
Shut up.
KANE
Really. Sweet and innocent and so funny. Everything we said made us laugh.
MADISON
Really?
KANE
Kids only want to see their parents one way. There’s a lot more to us you know.
MADISON
We prefer to think about ourselves.
ROYCE enters.
ROYCE
Is that a joint?
MADISON
Yeah.
ROYCE
Gimme. Are you smoking Dad?
KANE
I had a hit or two. How’s your eye?
ROYCE
Fine.
KANE
I want the names of the guys who did this.
ROYCE
Let it go.
KANE
Royce.
ROYCE
Interfere and it’ll just get worse.
MADISON
Smoke.
KANE
I can’t remember the last time I got high out here. I think Royce was a toddler.
MADISON
With Mom?
They all laugh too loud.
KANE
Sssh.
ROYCE
Don’t wanna wake her up.
MADISON
Did she ever?
KANE
Are you kidding? I used to sneak out here once in a blue moon when you were kids but—let’s just say going back into the house high wasn’t that much fun.
They all laugh again.
Stop.
ROYCE
She said she was gonna take a pill.
MADISON
Hope it was a chill pill.
ROYCE
Double dose.
MADISON
And a shot of heroin.
They laugh.
ROYCE
Don’t. It hurts.
CAROLYN enters.
CAROLYN
Tell me you’re not smoking marijuana with our children.
KANE
They’re not really children.
MADISON
It’s practically legal.
CAROLYN
Whatever happened to setting an example?
KANE
This is no different than having a drink with them. Anyway it’s Madison’s dope.
CAROLYN
Kane.
MADISON
Have a hoot Ma.
CAROLYN
Oh stop.
MADISON
It might help you get over yourself.
ROYCE
And you’ll sleep like a baby.
CAROLYN
Not a chance.
KANE
We’re all high anyway.
CAROLYN
I couldn’t.
MADISON holds the joint out to her.
MADISON
Betting you could.
CAROLYN
I have no idea what it’s like.
ROYCE
It’s nice.
CAROLYN takes the joint from MADISON and smokes it clumsily, with plenty of coughing.
MADISON
Take little puffs.
CAROLYN
ROYCE
You get high.
CAROLYN
How will I know?
MADISON
Things will be—slightly different.
ROYCE
And you’ll want cookies.
CAROLYN takes another hoot and passes the joint on.
CAROLYN
I won’t think I’m Superman and try to fly off a building or anything will I?
MADISON
That Superman pot’s too expensive.
ROYCE
This stuff just makes you forget the baby in the microwave.
CAROLYN laughs.
KANE
I think that story’s true.
ROYCE
Yeah. Like the one about the guy with the hook.
CAROLYN
Or the lady who adopted a chihuahua that was really a rat.
MADISON
Or the hotel robber with the toothbrush in his ass on the camera.
They are all laughing.
ROYCE
Or the one where the girl gets caught with the dog and the peanut butter.
CAROLYN
Or the one about the girl who meets her perfect prince and marries him and has two perfect children and they achieve if not perfection at least a normal life.
Their laughter grows.
That’s hysterical. The nuclear family. One day it just blows up. Ka-boom! There’s a giant explosion and bingo—no more family. Everyone’s become body parts in a mushroom cloud. The only thing that holds them together anymore is the fallout.
All but CAROLYN gradually stop laughing.
KANE
Carolyn?
ROYCE
Stop.
CAROLYN stops laughing. Pause.
CA
ROLYN
What’s wrong?
MADISON
I’m going to bed.
CAROLYN
Aren’t we having fun?
ROYCE
Total buzzkill Mom.
ROYCE and MADISON exit.
CAROLYN
What did I do?
KANE
Have you got something on your mind?
CAROLYN
No wait yes. If anything happened in Montreal everything we’ve had since has been a lie.
KANE
That’s ridiculous.
CAROLYN
The idea of you being with him while I was pregnant. It just.
KANE
You’ve got to let this go.
CAROLYN
Did you marry me because you didn’t want to be gay?
KANE
I married you because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.
Pause.
Let’s go to bed.
CAROLYN
I’m gonna stay out here and stare at the stars and think about my life.
KANE
Sweetie.
CAROLYN
Don’t wait up.
KANE
But.
CAROLYN
I’ll probably sleep in the den again.
KANE
Right.
KANE exits.
CAROLYN
The rest of my life.
Lights rise on DAVID at the restaurant on his cellphone.
DAVID
I saw the bombing on the news. Just wanted to make sure you’re okay. You’re probably at work or something and I’m being silly. Call me when you get in. Really.
DAVID hangs up. MADISON enters.
MADISON
Get hold of him?
DAVID
Eleven people were killed in a city of eight million. I doubt Jefferson was one of them.
MADISON
But still. New York.
DAVID
I know.
As she speaks MADISON takes off her apron and turns in her bills and billfold.
MADISON
My section’s clear.
DAVID
Still mad at me?
MADISON
Just fucked up.
DAVID
Me too.
MADISON
They’re falling apart.
DAVID
Mom and Dad?
MADISON
They just seem so.
DAVID
Human?
MADISON
How do two people stay together that long?
DAVID
Insecurity codependency and fear are often the most important ingredients in a long-term relationship.
MADISON
You’re too cynical. Good luck getting hold of your friend.
DAVID
Madison I’m sorry—about what happened. I should’ve stopped it. I know better. It’s just—been so long and you’re so—great.
MADISON
Like you said—I’m a grown-up now.
MADISON exits. DAVID takes her cash envelope and begins to exit. CAROLYN enters.
CAROLYN
David.
DAVID
Madison just left.