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    100 Songs

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      Sayin’, “What’s that I heard you say?”

      I said, “I like Fidel Castro

      I think you heard me right”

      And ducked as he swung

      At me with all his might

      Rita mumbled something

      ’Bout her mother on the hill

      As his fist hit the icebox

      He said he’s going to kill me

      If I don’t get out the door

      In two seconds flat

      “You unpatriotic

      Rotten doctor Commie rat”

      Well, he threw a Reader’s Digest

      At my head and I did run

      I did a somersault

      As I seen him get his gun

      And crashed through the window

      At a hundred miles an hour

      And landed fully blast

      In his garden flowers

      Rita said, “Come back!”

      As he started to load

      The sun was comin’ up

      And I was runnin’ down the road

      Well, I don’t figure I’ll be back

      There for a spell

      Even though Rita moved away

      And got a job in a motel

      He still waits for me

      Constant, on the sly

      He wants to turn me in

      To the F.B.I.

      Me, I romp and stomp

      Thankful as I romp

      Without freedom of speech

      I might be in the swamp

      MY BACK PAGES

      Crimson flames tied through my ears

      Rollin’ high and mighty traps

      Pounced with fire on flaming roads

      Using ideas as my maps

      “We’ll meet on edges, soon,” said I

      Proud ’neath heated brow

      Ah, but I was so much older then

      I’m younger than that now

      Half-wracked prejudice leaped forth

      “Rip down all hate,” I screamed

      Lies that life is black and white

      Spoke from my skull. I dreamed

      Romantic facts of musketeers

      Foundationed deep, somehow

      Ah, but I was so much older then

      I’m younger than that now

      Girls’ faces formed the forward path

      From phony jealousy

      To memorizing politics

      Of ancient history

      Flung down by corpse evangelists

      Unthought of, though, somehow

      Ah, but I was so much older then

      I’m younger than that now

      A self-ordained professor’s tongue

      Too serious to fool

      Spouted out that liberty

      Is just equality in school

      “Equality,” I spoke the word

      As if a wedding vow

      Ah, but I was so much older then

      I’m younger than that now

      In a soldier’s stance, I aimed my hand

      At the mongrel dogs who teach

      Fearing not that I’d become my enemy

      In the instant that I preach

      My pathway led by confusion boats

      Mutiny from stern to bow

      Ah, but I was so much older then

      I’m younger than that now

      Yes, my guard stood hard when abstract threats

      Too noble to neglect

      Deceived me into thinking

      I had something to protect

      Good and bad, I define these terms

      Quite clear, no doubt, somehow

      Ah, but I was so much older then

      I’m younger than that now

      IT AIN’T ME, BABE

      Go ’way from my window

      Leave at your own chosen speed

      I’m not the one you want, babe

      I’m not the one you need

      You say you’re lookin’ for someone

      Never weak but always strong

      To protect you an’ defend you

      Whether you are right or wrong

      Someone to open each and every door

      But it ain’t me, babe

      No, no, no, it ain’t me, babe

      It ain’t me you’re lookin’ for, babe

      Go lightly from the ledge, babe

      Go lightly on the ground

      I’m not the one you want, babe

      I will only let you down

      You say you’re lookin’ for someone

      Who will promise never to part

      Someone to close his eyes for you

      Someone to close his heart

      Someone who will die for you an’ more

      But it ain’t me, babe

      No, no, no, it ain’t me, babe

      It ain’t me you’re lookin’ for, babe

      Go melt back into the night, babe

      Everything inside is made of stone

      There’s nothing in here moving

      An’ anyway I’m not alone

      You say you’re looking for someone

      Who’ll pick you up each time you fall

      To gather flowers constantly

      An’ to come each time you call

      A lover for your life an’ nothing more

      But it ain’t me, babe

      No, no, no, it ain’t me, babe

      It ain’t me you’re lookin’ for, babe

      SUBTERRANEAN HOMESICK BLUES

      Johnny’s in the basement

      Mixing up the medicine

      I’m on the pavement

      Thinking about the government

      The man in the trench coat

      Badge out, laid off

      Says he’s got a bad cough

      Wants to get it paid off

      Look out kid

      It’s somethin’ you did

      God knows when

      But you’re doin’ it again

      You better duck down the alley way

      Lookin’ for a new friend

      The man in the coon-skin cap

      In the big pen

      Wants eleven dollar bills

      You only got ten

      Maggie comes fleet foot

      Face full of black soot

      Talkin’ that the heat put

      Plants in the bed but

      The phone’s tapped anyway

      Maggie says that many say

      They must bust in early May

      Orders from the D.A.

      Look out kid

      Don’t matter what you did

      Walk on your tiptoes

      Don’t try “No-Doz”

      Better stay away from those

      That carry around a fire hose

      Keep a clean nose

      Watch the plain clothes

      You don’t need a weatherman

      To know which way the wind blows

      Get sick, get well

      Hang around a ink well

      Ring bell, hard to tell

      If anything is goin’ to sell

      Try hard, get barred

      Get back, write braille

      Get jailed, jump bail

      Join the army, if you fail

      Look out kid

      You’re gonna get hit

      But users, cheaters

      Six-time losers

      Hang around the theaters

      Girl by the whirlpool

      Lookin’ for a new fool

      Don’t follow leaders

      Watch the parkin’ meters

      Ah get born, keep warm

      Short pants, romance, learn to dance

      Get dressed, get blessed

      Try to be a success

      Please her, please him, buy gifts

      Don’t steal, don’t lift

      Twenty years of schoolin’

      And they put you on the day shift

      Look out kid

      They keep it all hid

      Better jump down a manhole

      Light yourself a candle

      Don’t wear sandals

      Try to avoid the scandals

      Don’t wanna be a bum

      You better
    chew gum

      The pump don’t work

      ’Cause the vandals took the handles

      LOVE MINUS ZERO/NO LIMIT

      My love she speaks like silence

      Without ideals or violence

      She doesn’t have to say she’s faithful

      Yet she’s true, like ice, like fire

      People carry roses

      Make promises by the hours

      My love she laughs like the flowers

      Valentines can’t buy her

      In the dime stores and bus stations

      People talk of situations

      Read books, repeat quotations

      Draw conclusions on the wall

      Some speak of the future

      My love she speaks softly

      She knows there’s no success like failure

      And that failure’s no success at all

      The cloak and dagger dangles

      Madams light the candles

      In ceremonies of the horsemen

      Even the pawn must hold a grudge

      Statues made of matchsticks

      Crumble into one another

      My love winks, she does not bother

      She knows too much to argue or to judge

      The bridge at midnight trembles

      The country doctor rambles

      Bankers’ nieces seek perfection

      Expecting all the gifts that wise men bring

      The wind howls like a hammer

      The night blows cold and rainy

      My love she’s like some raven

      At my window with a broken wing

      MR. TAMBOURINE MAN

      Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me

      I’m not sleepy and there is no place I’m going to

      Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me

      In the jingle jangle morning I’ll come followin’ you

      Though I know that evenin’s empire has returned into sand

      Vanished from my hand

      Left me blindly here to stand but still not sleeping

      My weariness amazes me, I’m branded on my feet

      I have no one to meet

      And the ancient empty street’s too dead for dreaming

      Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me

      I’m not sleepy and there is no place I’m going to

      Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me

      In the jingle jangle morning I’ll come followin’ you

      Take me on a trip upon your magic swirlin’ ship

      My senses have been stripped, my hands can’t feel to grip

      My toes too numb to step

      Wait only for my boot heels to be wanderin’

      I’m ready to go anywhere, I’m ready for to fade

      Into my own parade, cast your dancing spell my way

      I promise to go under it

      Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me

      I’m not sleepy and there is no place I’m going to

      Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me

      In the jingle jangle morning I’ll come followin’ you

      Though you might hear laughin’, spinnin’, swingin’ madly across the sun

      It’s not aimed at anyone, it’s just escapin’ on the run

      And but for the sky there are no fences facin’

      And if you hear vague traces of skippin’ reels of rhyme

      To your tambourine in time, it’s just a ragged clown behind

      I wouldn’t pay it any mind

      It’s just a shadow you’re seein’ that he’s chasing

      Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me

      I’m not sleepy and there is no place I’m going to

      Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me

      In the jingle jangle morning I’ll come followin’ you

      Then take me disappearin’ through the smoke rings of my mind

      Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves

      The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach

      Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow

      Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free

      Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands

      With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves

      Let me forget about today until tomorrow

      Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me

      I’m not sleepy and there is no place I’m going to

      Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me

      In the jingle jangle morning I’ll come followin’ you

      BOB DYLAN’S 115TH DREAM

      I was riding on the Mayflower

      When I thought I spied some land

      I yelled for Captain Arab

      I have yuh understand

      Who came running to the deck

      Said, “Boys, forget the whale

      Look on over yonder

      Cut the engines

      Change the sail

      Haul on the bowline”

      We sang that melody

      Like all tough sailors do

      When they are far away at sea

      “I think I’ll call it America”

      I said as we hit land

      I took a deep breath

      I fell down, I could not stand

      Captain Arab he started

      Writing up some deeds

      He said, “Let’s set up a fort

      And start buying the place with beads”

      Just then this cop comes down the street

      Crazy as a loon

      He throw us all in jail

      For carryin’ harpoons

      Ah me I busted out

      Don’t even ask me how

      I went to get some help

      I walked by a Guernsey cow

      Who directed me down

      To the Bowery slums

      Where people carried signs around

      Saying, “Ban the bums”

      I jumped right into line

      Sayin’, “I hope that I’m not late”

      When I realized I hadn’t eaten

      For five days straight

      I went into a restaurant

      Lookin’ for the cook

      I told them I was the editor

      Of a famous etiquette book

      The waitress he was handsome

      He wore a powder blue cape

      I ordered some suzette, I said

      “Could you please make that crepe”

      Just then the whole kitchen exploded

      From boilin’ fat

      Food was flying everywhere

      And I left without my hat

      Now, I didn’t mean to be nosy

      But I went into a bank

      To get some bail for Arab

      And all the boys back in the tank

      They asked me for some collateral

      And I pulled down my pants

      They threw me in the alley

      When up comes this girl from France

      Who invited me to her house

      I went, but she had a friend

      Who knocked me out

      And robbed my boots

      And I was on the street again

      Well, I rapped upon a house

      With the U.S. flag upon display

      I said, “Could you help me out

      I got some friends down the way”

      The man says, “Get out of here

      I’ll tear you limb from limb”

      I said, “You know they refused Jesus, too”

      He said, “You’re not Him

      Get out of here before I break your bones

      I ain’t your pop”

      I decided to have him arrested

      And I went looking for a cop

      I ran right outside

      And I hopped inside a cab

      I went out the other door

      This Englishman said, “Fab”

      As he saw me leap a hot dog stand

      And a chariot that stood

      Parked across from a building

      Advertising bro
    therhood

      I ran right through the front door

      Like a hobo sailor does

      But it was just a funeral parlor

      And the man asked me who I was

      I repeated that my friends

      Were all in jail, with a sigh

      He gave me his card

      He said, “Call me if they die”

      I shook his hand and said goodbye

      Ran out to the street

      When a bowling ball came down the road

      And knocked me off my feet

      A pay phone was ringing

      It just about blew my mind

      When I picked it up and said hello

      This foot came through the line

      Well, by this time I was fed up

      At tryin’ to make a stab

      At bringin’ back any help

      For my friends and Captain Arab

      I decided to flip a coin

      Like either heads or tails

      Would let me know if I should go

      Back to ship or back to jail

      So I hocked my sailor suit

      And I got a coin to flip

      It came up tails

      It rhymed with sails

      So I made it back to the ship

      Well, I got back and took

      The parkin’ ticket off the mast

      I was ripping it to shreds

      When this coastguard boat went past

      They asked me my name

      And I said, “Captain Kidd”

      They believed me but

      They wanted to know

      What exactly that I did

      I said for the Pope of Eruke

      I was employed

      They let me go right away

      They were very paranoid

      Well, the last I heard of Arab

      He was stuck on a whale

      That was married to the deputy

      Sheriff of the jail

      But the funniest thing was

      When I was leavin’ the bay

      I saw three ships a-sailin’

      They were all heading my way

      I asked the captain what his name was

      And how come he didn’t drive a truck

      He said his name was Columbus

      I just said, “Good luck”

      GATES OF EDEN

      Of war and peace the truth just twists

      Its curfew gull just glides

      Upon four-legged forest clouds

      The cowboy angel rides

      With his candle lit into the sun

      Though its glow is waxed in black

      All except when ’neath the trees of Eden

      The lamppost stands with folded arms

      Its iron claws attached

      To curbs ’neath holes where babies wail

      Though it shadows metal badge

      All and all can only fall

      With a crashing but meaningless blow

      No sound ever comes from the Gates of Eden

      The savage soldier sticks his head in sand

      And then complains

      Unto the shoeless hunter who’s gone deaf

     


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