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    Sailing Alone Around the Room

    Page 7
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      In all his manifestations, is it not warm and slightly humid?

      Is this not implied by his serene expression,

      that smile so wide it wraps itself around the waist of the universe?

      But here we are, working our way down the driveway,

      one shovelful at a time.

      We toss the light powder into the clear air.

      We feel the cold mist on our faces.

      And with every heave we disappear

      and become lost to each other

      in these sudden clouds of our own making,

      these fountain-bursts of snow.

      This is so much better than a sermon in church,

      I say out loud, but Buddha keeps on shoveling.

      This is the true religion, the religion of snow,

      and sunlight and winter geese barking in the sky,

      I say, but he is too busy to hear me.

      He has thrown himself into shoveling snow

      as if it were the purpose of existence,

      as if the sign of a perfect life were a clear driveway

      you could back the car down easily

      and drive off into the vanities of the world

      with a broken heater fan and a song on the radio.

      All morning long we work side by side,

      me with my commentary

      and he inside the generous pocket of his silence,

      until the hour is nearly noon

      and the snow is piled high all around us;

      then, I hear him speak.

      After this, he asks,

      can we go inside and play cards?

      Certainly, I reply, and I will heat some milk

      and bring cups of hot chocolate to the table

      while you shuffle the deck,

      and our boots stand dripping by the door.

      Aaah, says the Buddha, lifting his eyes

      and leaning for a moment on his shovel

      before he drives the thin blade again

      deep into the glittering white snow.

      Snow

      I cannot help noticing how this slow Monk solo

      seems to go somehow

      with the snow

      that is coming down this morning,

      how the notes and the spaces accompany

      its easy falling

      on the geometry of the ground,

      on the flagstone path,

      the slanted roof,

      and the angles of the split-rail fence

      as if he had imagined a winter scene

      as he sat at the piano

      late one night at the Five Spot

      playing “Ruby, My Dear.”

      Then again, it’s the kind of song

      that would go easily with rain

      or a tumult of leaves,

      and for that matter it’s a snow

      that could attend

      an adagio for strings,

      the best of the Ronettes,

      or George Thorogood and the Destroyers.

      It falls so indifferently

      into the spacious white parlor of the world,

      if I were sitting here reading

      in silence,

      reading the morning paper

      or reading Being and Nothingness,

      not even letting the spoon

      touch the inside of the cup,

      I have a feeling

      the snow would even go perfectly with that.

      Japan

      Today I pass the time reading

      a favorite haiku,

      saying the few words over and over.

      It feels like eating

      the same small, perfect grape

      again and again.

      I walk through the house reciting it

      and leave its letters falling

      through the air of every room.

      I stand by the big silence of the piano and say it.

      I say it in front of a painting of the sea.

      I tap out its rhythm on an empty shelf.

      I listen to myself saying it,

      then I say it without listening,

      then I hear it without saying it.

      And when the dog looks up at me,

      I kneel down on the floor

      and whisper it into each of his long white ears.

      It’s the one about the one-ton

      temple bell

      with the moth sleeping on its surface,

      and every time I say it, I feel the excruciating

      pressure of the moth

      on the surface of the iron bell.

      When I say it at the window,

      the bell is the world

      and I am the moth resting there.

      When I say it into the mirror,

      I am the heavy bell

      and the moth is life with its papery wings.

      And later, when I say it to you in the dark,

      you are the bell,

      and I am the tongue of the bell, ringing you,

      and the moth has flown

      from its line

      and moves like a hinge in the air above our bed.

      Victoria’s Secret

      The one in the upper left-hand corner

      is giving me a look

      that says I know you are here

      and I have nothing better to do

      for the remainder of human time

      than return your persistent but engaging stare.

      She is wearing a deeply scalloped

      flame-stitch halter top

      with padded push-up styling

      and easy side-zip tap pants.

      The one on the facing page, however,

      who looks at me over her bare shoulder,

      cannot hide the shadow of annoyance in her brow.

      You have interrupted me,

      she seems to be saying,

      with your coughing and your loud music.

      Now please leave me alone;

      let me finish whatever it was I was doing

      in my organza-trimmed

      whisperweight camisole with

      keyhole closure and a point d’esprit mesh back.

      I wet my thumb and flip the page.

      Here, the one who happens to be reclining

      in a satin and lace merry widow

      with an inset lace-up front,

      decorated underwire cups and bodice

      with lace ruffles along the bottom

      and hook-and-eye closure in the back,

      is wearing a slightly contorted expression,

      her head thrust back, mouth partially open,

      a confusing mixture of pain and surprise

      as if she had stepped on a tack

      just as I was breaking down

      her bedroom door with my shoulder.

      Nor does the one directly beneath her

      look particularly happy to see me.

      She is arching one eyebrow slightly

      as if to say, so what if I am wearing nothing

      but this stretch panne velvet bodysuit

      with a low sweetheart neckline

      featuring molded cups and adjustable straps.

      Do you have a problem with that?!

      The one on the far right is easier to take,

      her eyes half-closed

      as if she were listening to a medley

      of lullabies playing faintly on a music box.

      Soon she will drop off to sleep,

      her head nestled in the soft crook of her arm,

      and later she will wake up in her

      Spandex slip dress with the high side slit,

      deep scoop neckline, elastic shirring,

      and concealed back zip and vent.

      But opposite her,

      stretched out catlike on a couch

      in the warm glow of a paneled library,

      is one who wears a distinctly challenging expression,

      her face tipped up, exposing

      her long neck, her perfectly flared nostrils.

      Go ahead, her expression tells me,

      take off my satin charmeuse g
    own

      with a sheer, jacquard bodice

      decorated with a touch of shimmering Lurex.

      Go ahead, fling it into the fireplace.

      What do I care, her eyes say, we’re all going to hell anyway.

      I have other mail to open,

      but I cannot help noticing her neighbor

      whose eyes are downcast,

      her head ever so demurely bowed to the side

      as if she were the model who sat for Correggio

      when he painted “The Madonna of St. Jerome,”

      only it became so ungodly hot in Parma

      that afternoon, she had to remove

      the traditional blue robe

      and pose there in his studio

      in a beautifully shaped satin teddy

      with an embossed V-front,

      princess seaming to mold the bodice,

      and puckered knit detail.

      And occupying the whole facing page

      is one who displays that expression

      we have come to associate with photographic beauty.

      Yes, she is pouting about something,

      all lower lip and cheekbone.

      Perhaps her ice cream has tumbled

      out of its cone onto the parquet floor.

      Perhaps she has been waiting all day

      for a new sofa to be delivered,

      waiting all day in a stretch lace hipster

      with lattice edging, satin frog closures,

      velvet scrollwork, cuffed ankles,

      flare silhouette, and knotted shoulder straps

      available in black, champagne, almond,

      cinnabar, plum, bronze, mocha,

      peach, ivory, caramel, blush, butter, rose, and periwinkle.

      It is, of course, impossible to say,

      impossible to know what she is thinking,

      why her mouth is the shape of petulance.

      But this is already too much.

      Who has the time to linger on these delicate

      lures, these once unmentionable things?

      Life is rushing by like a mad, swollen river.

      One minute roses are opening in the garden

      and the next, snow is flying past my window.

      Plus the phone is ringing.

      The dog is whining at the door.

      Rain is beating on the roof.

      And as always there is a list of things I have to do

      before the night descends, black and silky,

      and the dark hours begin to hurtle by,

      before the little doors of the body swing shut

      and I ride to sleep, my closed eyes

      still burning from all the glossy lights of day.

      Lines Composed Over Three Thousand Miles

      from Tintern Abbey

      I was here before, a long time ago,

      and now I am here again

      is an observation that occurs in poetry

      as frequently as rain occurs in life.

      The fellow may be gazing

      over an English landscape,

      hillsides dotted with sheep,

      a row of tall trees topping the downs,

      or he could be moping through the shadows

      of a dark Bavarian forest,

      a wedge of cheese and a volume of fairy tales

      tucked into his rucksack.

      But the feeling is always the same.

      It was better the first time.

      This time is not nearly as good.

      I’m not feeling as chipper as I did back then.

      Something is always missing—

      swans, a glint on the surface of a lake,

      some minor but essential touch.

      Or the quality of things has diminished.

      The sky was a deeper, more dimensional blue,

      clouds were more cathedral-like,

      and water rushed over rock

      with greater effervescence.

      From our chairs we have watched

      the poor author in his waistcoat

      as he recalls the dizzying icebergs of childhood

      and mills around in a field of weeds.

      We have heard the poets long dead

      declaim their dying

      from a promontory, a riverbank,

      next to a haycock, within a copse.

      We have listened to their dismay,

      the kind that issues from poems

      the way water issues forth from hoses,

      the way the match always gives its little speech on fire.

      And when we put down the book at last,

      lean back, close our eyes,

      stinging with print,

      and slip in the bookmark of sleep,

      we will be schooled enough to know

      that when we wake up

      a little before dinner

      things will not be nearly as good as they once were.

      Something will be missing

      from this long, coffin-shaped room,

      the walls and windows now

      only two different shades of gray,

      the glossy gardenia drooping

      in its chipped terra-cotta pot.

      And on the floor, shoes, socks,

      the browning core of an apple.

      Nothing will be as it was

      a few hours ago, back in the glorious past

      before our naps, back in that Golden Age

      that drew to a close sometime shortly after lunch.

      Paradelle for Susan

      I remember the quick, nervous bird of your love.

      I remember the quick, nervous bird of your love.

      Always perched on the thinnest, highest branch.

      Always perched on the thinnest, highest branch.

      Thinnest love, remember the quick branch.

      Always nervous, I perched on your highest bird the.

      It is time for me to cross the mountain.

      It is time for me to cross the mountain.

      And find another shore to darken with my pain.

      And find another shore to darken with my pain.

      Another pain for me to darken the mountain.

      And find the time, cross my shore, to with it is to.

      The weather warm, the handwriting familiar.

      The weather warm, the handwriting familiar.

      Your letter flies from my hand into the waters below.

      Your letter flies from my hand into the waters below.

      The familiar waters below my warm hand.

      Into handwriting your weather flies you letter the from the.

      I always cross the highest letter, the thinnest bird.

      Below the waters of my warm familiar pain,

      Another hand to remember your handwriting.

      The weather perched for me on the shore.

      Quick, your nervous branch flew from love.

      Darken the mountain, time and find was my into it

      was with to to.

      NOTE: The paradelle is one of the more demanding French fixed forms, first appearing in the langue d’oc love poetry of the eleventh century. It is a poem of four six-line stanzas in which the first and second lines, as well as the third and fourth lines of the first three stanzas, must be identical. The fifth and sixth lines, which traditionally resolve these stanzas, must use all the words from the preceding lines and only those words. Similarly, the final stanza must use every word from all the preceding stanzas and only those words.

      Lines Lost Among Trees

      These are not the lines that came to me

      while walking in the woods

      with no pen

      and nothing to write on anyway.

      They are gone forever,

      a handful of coins

      dropped through the grate of memory,

      along with the ingenious mnemonic

      I devised to hold them in place—

      all gone and forgotten

      before I had returned to the clearing of lawn

      in back of our quiet house

      with its jars jammed with pens,


      its notebooks and reams of blank paper,

      its desk and soft lamp,

      its table and the light from its windows.

      So this is my elegy for them,

      those six or eight exhalations,

      the braided rope of the syntax,

      the jazz of the timing,

      and the little insight at the end

      wagging like the short tail

      of a perfectly obedient spaniel

      sitting by the door.

      This is my envoy to nothing

      where I say Go, little poem—

      not out into the world of strangers’ eyes,

      but off to some airy limbo,

      home to lost epics,

      unremembered names,

      and fugitive dreams

      such as the one I had last night,

      which, like a fantastic city in pencil,

      erased itself

      in the bright morning air

      just as I was waking up.

      Taking Off Emily Dickinson’s Clothes

      First, her tippet made of tulle,

      easily lifted off her shoulders and laid

      on the back of a wooden chair.

      And her bonnet,

      the bow undone with a light forward pull.

      Then the long white dress, a more

      complicated matter with mother-of-pearl

      buttons down the back,

      so tiny and numerous that it takes forever

      before my hands can part the fabric,

      like a swimmer’s dividing water,

      and slip inside.

      You will want to know

      that she was standing

      by an open window in an upstairs bedroom,

      motionless, a little wide-eyed,

      looking out at the orchard below,

      the white dress puddled at her feet

      on the wide-board, hardwood floor.

      The complexity of women’s undergarments

      in nineteenth-century America

      is not to be waved off,

      and I proceeded like a polar explorer

      through clips, clasps, and moorings,

      catches, straps, and whalebone stays,

      sailing toward the iceberg of her nakedness.

      Later, I wrote in a notebook

      it was like riding a swan into the night,

      but, of course, I cannot tell you everything—

      the way she closed her eyes to the orchard,

      how her hair tumbled free of its pins,

      how there were sudden dashes

      whenever we spoke.

      What I can tell you is

      it was terribly quiet in Amherst

      that Sabbath afternoon,

      nothing but a carriage passing the house,

      a fly buzzing in a windowpane.

     


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