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    Ballistics

    Page 4
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      the sky had been low and overcast for days,

      and I was drinking tea in a glassy room

      with a woman without children,

      a gate through which no one had entered the world.

      She was turning the pages of a large book

      on a coffee table, even though we were drinking tea,

      a book of colorful paintings—

      a landscape, a portrait, a still life,

      a field, a face, a pear and a knife, all turning on the table.

      Men had entered the gate, but no boy or girl

      had ever come out, I was thinking oddly

      as she stopped at a page of clouds

      aloft in a pale sky, tinged with red and gold.

      This one is my favorite, she said,

      even though it was only a detail, a corner

      of a larger painting which she had never seen.

      Nor did she want to see the countryside below

      or the portrayal of some myth

      in order for the billowing clouds to seem complete.

      This was enough, this fraction of the whole,

      just as the leafy scene in the windows was enough

      now that the light was growing dim,

      as was she enough, perfectly by herself

      somewhere in the enormous mural of the world.

      Le Chien

      I remember late one night in Paris

      speaking at length to a dog in English

      about the future of American culture.

      No wonder she kept cocking her head

      as I went on about “summer movies”

      and the intolerable poetry of my compatriots.

      I was standing and she was sitting

      on a dim street in front of a butcher shop,

      and come to think of it, she could have been waiting

      for the early morning return of the lambs

      and the bleeding sides of beef

      to their hooks in the window.

      For my part, I had mixed my drinks,

      trading in the tulip of wine

      for the sharp nettles of whiskey.

      Why else would I be wasting my time

      and hers trying to explain “corn dog,”

      “white walls,” and “the March of Dimes”?

      She showed such patience for a dog

      without breeding while I went on—

      in a whisper now after shouts from a window—

      about “helmet laws” and “tag sale”

      wishing I only had my camera

      so I could carry a picture of her home with me.

      On the loopy way back to my hotel—

      after some long and formal goodbyes—

      I kept thinking how I would have loved

      to hang her picture over the mantel

      where my maternal grandmother

      now looks down from her height as always,

      silently complaining about the choice of the frame.

      Then, before dinner each evening

      I could stand before the image of that very dog,

      a glass of wine in hand,

      submitting all of my troubles and petitions

      to the court of her dark-brown, adoring eyes.

      Addendum

      What I forgot to tell you in that last poem

      if you were paying attention at all

      was that I really did love her at the time.

      The maritime light in the final lines

      might have seemed contrived,

      as false as any puffed up Italian sonnet,

      and the same could be said

      for the high cliffside flowers

      I claimed to have introduced to her hair

      and sure, the many imaginary moons

      I said were circling our bed as we slept,

      the cosmos enclosed by the walls of the room.

      But the truth is we loved

      to take long walks on the windy shore,

      not the shore between the sea of her

      and the symbolic land of me,

      but the real shore of empty shells,

      the sun rising, the water running up and back.

      On the Death of a Next-Door Neighbor

      So much younger and with a tall, young son

      in the house above ours on a hill,

      it seemed that death had blundered once again.

      Was it poor directions, the blurring rain,

      or the too-small numerals on the mailbox

      that sent his dark car up the wrong winding driveway?

      Surely, it was me he was looking for—

      overripe, childless, gaudy with appetite,

      the one who should be ghosting over the rooftops

      not standing barefooted in this kitchen

      on a sun-shot October morning

      after eight days and nights of downpour,

      me with my presumptuous breathing,

      my arrogant need for coffee,

      my love of the colorful leaves beyond the windows.

      The weight of my clothes, not his,

      might be hanging in the darkness of a closet today,

      my rake idle, my pen across a notebook.

      The harmony of this house, not his,

      might be missing a voice,

      the hallways jumpy with the cry of the telephone—

      if only death had consulted his cracked leather map,

      then bent to wipe the fog

      from the windshield with an empty sleeve.

      Separation

      With only a two-and-a-half-inch wooden goose

      to keep me company at this desk,

      I am beginning a new life of discipline.

      No more wandering out in thunderstorms

      hoping to be hit by a bolt of lightning

      from the raised hand of Randall Jarrell.

      No more standing at an open window

      with my lyre strings finely tuned

      waiting for a stray zephyr to blow my way.

      Instead I will report here every morning

      and bend over my work like St. Jerome

      with his cowl, quill, and a skull for a paperweight.

      And the small white goose with his yellow

      feet and beak and a black dot for an eye

      is more than enough companionship for me.

      He is well worth the dollar I paid for him

      in a roadside trinket shop in New Mexico

      and more familiar to me than the household deities

      of this guest cottage in the woods—

      two porcelain sphinxes on the mantel

      and a pale, blank-eyed Roman bust on a high shelf

      on this first morning without you—

      me holding a coffee I forgot to pay for

      and the gods of wind and sun contending in the crowded trees.

      four

      Adage

      When it’s late at night and branches

      are banging against the windows,

      you might think that love is just a matter

      of leaping out of the frying pan of yourself

      into the fire of someone else,

      but it’s a little more complicated than that.

      It’s more like trading the two birds

      who might be hiding in that bush

      for the one you are not holding in your hand.

      A wise man once said that love

      was like forcing a horse to drink

      but then everyone stopped thinking of him as wise.

      Let us be clear about something.

      Love is not as simple as getting up

      on the wrong side of the bed wearing the emperor’s clothes.

      No, it’s more like the way the pen

      feels after it has defeated the sword.

      It’s a little like the penny saved or the nine dropped stitches.

      You look at me through the halo of the last candle

      and tell me love is an ill wind

      that has no turning, a road that blows no good,

      but I am here to remind
    you,

      as our shadows tremble on the walls,

      that love is the early bird who is better late than never.

      The Flight of the Statues

      The ancient Greeks … used to chain their

      statues to prevent them from fleeing.

      —Michael Kimmelman

      It might have been the darkening sky

      that sent them running in all directions

      that afternoon as the air turned a pale yellow,

      but were they not used to standing out

      in the squares of our city

      in every kind of imaginable weather?

      Maybe they were frightened by a headline

      on a newspaper that was blowing by

      or was it the children in their martial arts uniforms?

      Did they finally learn about the humans

      they stood for as they pointed a sword at a cloud?

      Did they know something we did not?

      Whatever the cause, no one will forget

      the sight of all the white marble figures

      leaping from their pedestals and rushing away.

      In the parks, the guitarists fell silent.

      The vendor froze under his umbrella.

      A dog tried to hide in his owner’s shadow.

      Even the chess players under the trees

      looked up from their boards

      long enough to see the bronze generals

      dismount and run off, leaving their horses

      to peer down at the circling pigeons

      who were stealing a few more crumbs from the poor.

      Passivity

      Tonight I turned off every light

      in this stone, slate-roofed cottage,

      then I walked out into the blackened woods

      and sat on a rock next to a bust

      of what looked like a sneering Roman consul,

      a mantle of concrete draped over his shoulders.

      I stared up at the ebbing quarter moon

      and the stars scattered like a handful of salt

      across the faraway sky,

      and I visited some of my new quandaries

      including where to live and what to do there,

      and leaning back to take in the sizable night,

      I arrived at the decision

      that I would never make another decision.

      Instead of darting this way or that,

      I would stand at a crossroads until my watch

      ran down and the clothes fell off me

      and were carried by a heavy rain out to sea.

      Instead of choosing one thing over another,

      I would do nothing but picture

      a little silver ball swinging back and forth from a cloud.

      I would celebrate only the two equinoxes

      and pass the rest of the time

      balancing a silver scale with silver coins.

      And I would see to it that the image of a seesaw—

      or teeter-totter as it once was called—

      was added to my family crest,

      stitched into that empty patch

      just below the broken plow

      and above the blindfolded bee.

      Ornithography

      The legendary Cang Jie was said to

      have invented writing after observing

      the tracks of birds.

      A light snow last night,

      and now the earth falls open to a fresh page.

      A high wind is breaking up the clouds.

      Children wait for the yellow bus in a huddle,

      and under the feeder, some birds

      are busy writing short stories,

      poems, and letters to their mothers.

      A crow is working on an editorial.

      That chickadee is etching a list,

      and a robin walks back and forth

      composing the opening to her autobiography.

      All so prolific this morning,

      these expressive little creatures,

      and each with an alphabet of only two letters.

      A far cry from me watching

      in silence behind a window wondering

      what just frightened them into flight—

      a dog’s bark, a hawk overhead?

      or had they simply finished

      saying whatever it was they had to say?

      Baby Listening

      According to the guest information directory,

      baby listening is a service offered by this seaside hotel.

      Baby listening—not a baby who happens to be listening,

      as I thought when I first checked in.

      Leave the receiver off the hook,

      the directory advises,

      and your infant can be monitored by the staff,

      though the staff, the entry continues,

      cannot be held responsible for the well-being

      of the baby in question.

      Fair enough, someone to listen to the baby.

      But the phrase did suggest a baby who is listening,

      lying there in the room next to mine

      listening to my pen scratching against the page,

      or a more advanced baby who has crawled

      down the hallway of the hotel

      and is pressing its tiny, curious ear against my door.

      Lucky for some of us,

      poetry is a place where both are true at once,

      where meaning only one thing at a time spells malfunction.

      Poetry wants to have the baby who is listening at my door

      as well as the baby who is being listened to,

      quietly breathing by the nearby telephone.

      And it also wants the baby

      who is making sounds of distress

      into the curved receiver lying in the crib

      while the girl at reception has just stepped out

      to have a smoke with her boyfriend

      in the dark by the great sway and wash of the North Sea.

      Poetry wants that baby, too,

      even a little more than it wants the others.

      Bathtub Families

      is not just a phrase I made up

      though it would have given me pleasure

      to have written those words in a notebook

      then looked up at the sky wondering what they meant.

      No, I saw Bathtub Families in a pharmacy

      on the label of a clear plastic package

      containing one cow and four calves,

      a little family of animals meant to float in your tub.

      I hesitated to buy it because I knew

      I would then want the entire series of Bathtub Families,

      which would leave no room in the tub

      for the turtles, the pigs, the seals, the giraffes, and me.

      It’s enough just to have the words,

      which alone make me even more grateful

      that I was born in America

      and English is my mother tongue.

      I was lucky, too, that I waited

      for the pharmacist to fill my prescription,

      otherwise I might not have wandered

      down the aisle with the Bathtub Families.

      I think what I am really saying is that language

      is better than reality, so it doesn’t have

      to be bath time for you to enjoy

      all the Bathtub Families as they float in the air around your head.

      Despair

      So much gloom and doubt in our poetry—

      flowers wilting on the table,

      the self regarding itself in a watery mirror.

      Dead leaves cover the ground,

      the wind moans in the chimney,

      and the tendrils of the yew tree inch toward the coffin.

      I wonder what the ancient Chinese poets

      would make of all this,

      these shadows and empty cupboards?

      Today, with the sun blazing in the trees,

      my thoughts turn to the great

      tenth-century celebrator of experience,

      W
    a-Hoo, whose delight in the smallest things

      could hardly be restrained,

      and to his joyous counterpart in the western provinces, Ye-Hah.

      The Idea of Natural History at Key West

      When I happened to notice myself

      walking naked past a wall-length mirror

      one spring morning

      in a house by the water

      where a friend was letting me stay,

      I looked like one of those silhouettes

      that illustrate the evolution of man,

      but not exactly the most recent figure.

     


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