"What—"
"Shh. Don't speak. We have only a few minutes to
escape."
"Escape why?"
The lovely Icarian woman put her hands on Caleb's hot
face and stared into his eyes. "This is a big planet. You and I
can find an empty aerie so far from here and so remote that
no one will ever find us. We can live out our lives and raise
129
Icarus Rising
by Bernadette Gardner
our young in peace, and in ten years when our child reaches
maturity and joins with a symbion, we can send him back to
take his place in the tribe, to become Jidar's successor."
The rush of blood into his long unused limbs left Caleb
light-headed. Confused, he sat up slowly, stretching his wings
and rubbing his sore wrists. "What are you talking about?
Running away with me?"
"Of course." With expert care, Arilani began removing
Caleb's IV. Trained in human medical procedures by Danson
and his team, she knew exactly how to shut the IV pump off
to avoid having its alarm sound. "I was to be your designated
mate. I won't allow Jidar to banish you or Danson to destroy
your symbion."
Her words disturbed the creature, sending a tide of panic
through Caleb, but this time he tamped down the
uncontrolled emotion and managed to calm the beast before
it could attempt to take flight in the confines of the small
isolation room. Caleb grabbed Arilani's wrist, and she stilled.
"I won't run away from what I've done."
"Caleb, listen to me. You did not kill Zara. She fell. It was
not your fault."
"Yes, it was." Caleb forced himself to whisper, though he
wanted to yell. He was tired of everyone telling him he wasn't
guilty and feeling sorry for the crazy man with the alien brain
on his back. He knew what he'd done to Zara ... he...
Slowly he let Arilani's arm slip from his fingers. She
pushed the equipment away from his bed, making room for
him to stand and stretch his wings, but he didn't move.
Instead he stared at her.
130
Icarus Rising
by Bernadette Gardner
"I didn't kill Zara."
"Of course you didn't."
"But you told me I did. After you drugged me, you said—"
"No, I didn't. I drugged you on Danson's orders so you
could control your symbion long enough to fly back to the
station. I told you Zara had fallen, but the biochemical
imbalance effected your perception."
He rose slowly, still trying to process his thoughts which
now seemed free of the symbion's emotional quagmire. He
could think clearly, just as Danson had predicted.
Reluctantly, he thought back to his last moment's with
Zara. They'd made love, and he'd been in control then, not
the symbion. He hadn't hurt her. He'd been gentle and
attentive. She'd sent him in search of her missing shorts ...
which he'd removed from her and dropped in the center of
the aerie, near the bed. There was no way the garment could
have blown off the edge of the island from inside the rock
enclosure.
He stared at Arilani for a long moment. "You want me as
your mate?"
"More than anything." She smiled at him, a primitive, feral
expression that held no humor or warmth.
"How badly?" He held her gaze, commanding her full
attention until finally, she had to look away.
"Don't you see that our lives depend on this? Without your
symbion, you will die, and Danson only needs an excuse to
break the bond. He's desperate to prove that the problems
you experienced won't happen to another human. If he
doesn't, then his life's work is a failure. I'm one of the last
131
Icarus Rising
by Bernadette Gardner
generation of my race. There is no one among my tribe that I
can successfully mate with. My ability to have a child depends
on you. If I don't conceive before the end of this mating
cycle, I will not get another chance." She stepped close and
her deep-set eyes glittered. "Together, you and I can
survive."
Arilani whirled away from him, her wings ruffling in anger.
"I won't discuss Dr. Abbott. It was never your right to mate
with her. The moment you pledged your fealty to Jidar, you
gave up your right to choose your own mate."
"And who gave you the right to choose for me? Jidar never
said we would be paired up."
"It is given. I was next in line to be mated. I was to
receive you and become the first of the new generation of
Icarian mothers. My child was to be the leader of a new age."
"My child," Caleb echoed. He'd been prepared for the
prospect of fatherhood, but now it seemed like a travesty. He
could never give Arilani a child, even if Jidar ordered him to.
He could never love her when he'd lost his heart forever to
Zara.
" Our child," Ari said, a hopeful thread in her voice. "It can
still happen if we leave now before anyone sees us."
Caleb clenched his jaw and moved toward the soundproof
door of his isolation room. Arilani had left it unlocked, and he
pulled it open now. "I'm leaving, Ari. But not with you."
"What?"
"I'm going to look for Zara's body. And not coming back
without her. I'll stay out there searching for her until I die."
132
Icarus Rising
by Bernadette Gardner
"No!" Arilani lunged toward Caleb, clawing at his arms and
chest. "I won't allow you to throw away the only chance we
have."
"Danson will find someone else."
Arilani screamed again, but this time rather than following
Caleb, she threw herself backward, crashing into the
disconnected monitors that clustered around the empty bed.
Alarms went off all over the station, and the dim lights
flared brilliant white, alerting the late-night staff to a breach
in the iso unit. "He's escaped! Dr. Faulkner, please don't hurt
me..."
Caleb growled. His wings threatened to spread in panic,
but he controlled his symbion's fear response and remained in
the doorway, unmoving while his colleagues rushed at him
from all directions.
"For God's sake, Ari. Why?"
"I needed you, Caleb ... and you destroyed everything."
[Back to Table of Contents]
133
Icarus Rising
by Bernadette Gardner
Chapter Sixteen
In the middle of the night the net broke.
Half asleep and delirious with pain and cold, Zara plunged
into the white-capped water. She gasped, drawing salty sea
foam into her mouth and lungs. A convulsive cough sent
unbearable agony shooting through her chest.
She flailed for the nearest rock, nothing more than a black,
shapeless mass in the moonless darkness. Her hand collided
with the hard surface and bones snapped. She screamed in
renewed misery. After a moment of panicked disorientation,
she cursed
and clawed her way to a precarious hold on a
slippery shelf of basalt.
The ancient alor vines, now slack, had begun to sink
beneath the water. They coiled around her legs like serpents,
threatening to draw her under the surface.
She refused to die this way. She refused to go without
leaving at least a sliver of evidence to mark her grave.
Summoning the last ounce of strength she possessed, Zara
vaulted out of the water and dragged her body onto the tiny
ledge. A broken piece of vine clung to a stone anchor nearby
and the length was just long enough. Painstakingly, Zara
worked her way along the ledge until her bloody fingers made
contact with the water-logged fibers of the vine. She rolled
onto her stomach which gave her another few centimeters of
reach and enabled her to grab the vine and wrap it around
her wrist. If she died here tonight, at least her body wouldn't
134
Icarus Rising
by Bernadette Gardner
sink. Someday perhaps, a passing Icarian would find her
bones here, tied to the rock, and be able to guess her fate.
Someday maybe Caleb would know she hadn't abandoned
him.
Exhausted, Zara closed her eyes and concentrated on
breathing, hoping she would fall asleep soon and drift into
oblivion. The insistent flapping of wings overhead disturbed
her, though, and finally she managed to turn her head and
observe her guardian symbion swooping curiously close. "Go
away." Zara swiped at the bird with her free hand. "Let me
be."
The symbion circled close to the treacherous rocks, its
wing tips brushing Zara's back. "I'm sorry," she murmured
when her eyelids grew heavy. "I know you tried to take care
of me, but I'm too far gone. Just leave me alone now."
An indignant squawk startled her, and she found the
strength to laugh. She had never heard a symbion call before.
This one seemed very agitated, angry, in fact. Perhaps it had
grown impatient for its dinner after fattening her up with an
offering of crab meat and couldn't wait for her to die so it
could eat her.
"Go ahead." She waved her hand at it. "Just leave a few
bones for someone to find."
Her delirious laughter stilled when the bird descended on
her. Its weight on her back was crushing, but Zara had no
strength left to fight. "No, no ... I didn't really mean... Oh
Caleb, please help me."
She sobbed and clenched her eyes shut waiting for the
killing bite, but it never came. Instead she felt a strange,
135
Icarus Rising
by Bernadette Gardner
electric warmth spread down from a spot at the nape of her
neck.
Terror at the odd sensation washed through her for a
minute, and then all her pain and discomfort ceased.
Suddenly she felt completely at home, comforted by the
pounding surf, refreshed by the relentless ocean spray and
undaunted by the sharp, slippery landscape of the volcanic
rocks. This was her nesting area. This was her territory.
"We are now one." A wordless voice in her head told her.
"We are safe and whole. It is time to rest."
Zara closed her eyes, giddy with the absurdity of her
delusion and no longer able to fight her need for sleep.
Content to let herself go, she drifted off into oblivion.
Two Icarian males held Caleb's wings and arms,
preventing him from fleeing or taking flight. It didn't matter
to them that he had no intention of escaping. Whatever came
of the proceedings, he was prepared to accept the
consequences.
Jidar stood before him on the beach, in roughly the same
spot he'd occupied on the day of Caleb's joining.
The Icarian leader wore a mask-like expression, and
beside him, her head bowed in grief, Namara stood silently
weeping.
Arrayed behind the Icarians, the research station staff had
assembled. They stood silently, eyes averted, as was the
custom when Icarian justice was meted out.
"Caleb Faulkner, you stand before me accused of killing Dr.
Zara Abbott, an act to which you have confessed. Jidar's voice
136
Icarus Rising
by Bernadette Gardner
rang like a granite bell, in heavy, inarguable tones. "I am told
you have retracted your confession."
"I have, my liege."
"Why?"
"I have no memory of killing Dr. Abbott. I know now that I
did not intentionally harm her, but I am still responsible for
her death and I am ready to accept my punishment."
"You understand that you may forfeit your symbion and
face charges under human law, which may treat you more
leniently than I will?"
"Yes, my liege. I understand. I chose to become Icarian. I
pledged my loyalty to Icarian ways and laws and made them
my own. I will not forsake my symbion even if it means a
more lenient punishment."
Raymond Danson spoke up now. "Jidar, please. You can't
punish Caleb for Zara's murder. If she fell, it wasn't his fault."
"Dr. Danson, I believe your people call it negligence. Dr.
Faulkner took Dr. Abbott to a dangerous environment where
she was not equipped to survive. While her death may have
been accidental, and we will never know the truth of it, Dr.
Faulkner is responsible in either case."
"It's okay, Ray. Jidar is right."
"Caleb—"
"Silence, Dr. Danson. There is nothing more to say. For the
crime of negligent murder, I must sentence Caleb Faulkner to
one mating cycle of exile."
The research staff murmured their disapproval, and the
Icarian delegation, dozens of males and females from
137
Icarus Rising
by Bernadette Gardner
surrounding islands, all knelt in submission to their leader's
decree.
The guards restraining Caleb let him go. Though still in
their custody, he would be free to fly under his own power to
a distant island. There, the longest feathers of his wings
would be removed by force, a painful process that would
leave him unable to fly for most of the ten-year term of his
sentence while the damaged areas re-grew. He would be fed
and provided with other amenities, but he would not be
permitted to return to Icarian society until the beginning of
the next mating cycle.
Somewhere among the research team, a woman cried.
Caleb ignored the sound of grief and set his gaze on the
horizon. Ten years in exile might not be long enough for him
to forget.
In the brightening sky, a winged shape appeared then,
likely on some pre-arranged command from Jidar. Caleb
assumed this new arrival would be another one of his escorts.
One by one, all heads turned in the direction of the
approaching Icarian, and once again a curious murmur circled
through the assembly.
Arilani was the first to cry out. Her voice broke with what
sounded like stunned surprise. "It's Zara!"
; Everyone scrambled now. Human and Icarian alike ran
toward the breakers where the winged woman descended.
Only Caleb remained in his spot, rooted in the soft sand, too
shocked to believe what he saw. A golden-haired angel, her
naked form perfect from head to toe, had landed among
138
Icarus Rising
by Bernadette Gardner
them. She shook drops of ocean spray from her silvery blue
wing tips and folded the regal appendages against her back.
Before Zara could answer any of the breathless questions
hurled at her, Arilani took flight, launching herself frantically
into the air.
"Stop her!" Zara gestured to the fleeing Icarian healer.
"She tried to kill me."
Caleb's guards wasted no time. As though Jidar himself
had given the order, the two males jumped into the air.
Stronger and faster than Arilani, they overtook her easily and
within minutes had wrestled her back to the ground.
She screamed and struggled against their grip for a
moment, falling silent only when Jidar approached her.
"Is this true, Arilani?"
"Of course not! The human lies. She wanted Caleb for
herself. She mated with him. I saw it happen. She did this to
destroy the breeding program before it could even begin."
Caleb still could not force himself to move. Instead, he
stared in awe as the woman who held his heart marched
across the beach to confront Arilani.
"She poisoned me with some of the tranquilizer meant for
Caleb's symbion, and she dropped me into the water."
"How did you survive?" Namara's voice seemed small and
distant. The leader's mate rushed up to put a soothing hand
on Zara's shoulder, the Icarian equivalent of a hug.
"I'm not sure. I fell between the rocks and I think the
symbions nesting there helped me climb out onto an old alor
net. I was dying ... and then they saved me."
139
Icarus Rising
by Bernadette Gardner
She gestured to her magnificent, blue-gray wings. "This
one sensed I needed help."
"Are you in pain? How do you feel?" Danson's questions
were drowned out by Arilani's screams.
"She will not bear his child. She will not become Icarian.
Take the symbion from her. She has no right to it!"
Ignoring Arilani's outburst, Zara addressed Jidar. "I feel
fine. There was no pain at all. Whatever happened to Caleb